Sunday, December 30, 2007

sleep and stuff

Porgie is back to her old self again, so the mood in our house has taken a sudden turn for the better. I guess having a toddler cry and whine for endless hours can really grate on your nerves. Anyways, we are all feeling happier and healthier!

Now, let's move on to my favorite topic - sleep. Izzy is a manic at night. I swear my child wakes up to breastfeed at least 6 times per night. Last night we went to bed at 10:00. He woke up at 12:30, 2:00, 3:30, 4:00, 6:00, and was up for the day at 8:00. Maybe co-sleeping isn't for little Izzy. I think I am waking him with my movements, and then he wants to nurse to get back to sleep. So, I am considering trying the bassinet again.

The reason co-sleeping is so nice, is because I don't have to move him to the bassinet, while praying that he doesn't wake up. But if it means more sleep, I think I might give it a try again. I feel like a damn zombie. And the headaches. Oh, the headaches.

And to any of my readers who don't have children or who have children who are excellent sleepers, please do not ask a severely sleep deprived mommy if her 5 week old is sleeping through the night yet. She might lunge across the table and strangle you. Seriously.

Other than sleep issues, things have been going pretty smoothly lately. I LOVE the Christmas season this year because all of the holidays fell on weekdays. So, that means the John gets four paid holidays off in a mere 2 weeks. Very nice.

Our neighbors invited us to a little New Year's Eve party tomorrow. We are probably going to take the kids over for a while. I fear taking my babies around other people, because I don't want them to be sick anymore. But I can't stay in the house forever, so we will go and be social.

So what are you doing for New Years?

Friday, December 28, 2007

Its enough to make me consider running away

Porgie apparently has Roseola. She is still refusing food, but her fussiness has significantly decreased. Instead of crying for 7 hours a day, she only cries for 5 hours a day. Lucky me! The scariest part of Porgie's recent illnesses, is the weight loss. Her ribs are protruding, and her size 4 diapers are too big. See that chubby little girl on the side bar? Those fat rolls are a distant memory. Makes me want to cry.

Unfortunately, Izzy is now sick too. He has a stuffy nose and a very sad little cough. It is very hard for him to breastfeed, because he he can't breathe out of his little nose. He has also been crying excessively too, but not nearly as much as Porgie.

I think John is depressed. He has been working long hours for months, and its beginning to take its toll on him. He is grumpy and irritable most of the time. This is typical behavior for me, but very strange for John. He is usually a very happy person. I don't know how to help him.

Porgie, Izzy, and I were invited to a playdate today. I was really looking forward to getting out of the house, and letting Porgie play with other children. Of course, I had to cancel because of my very ill children.

Life kind of sucks ass right now.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Sick again

Somehow, Porgie is sick again. I have no idea how she got sick - we have only left the house 1 time in a freaking month. But, nonetheless, she is sick again.

It all started Saturday night. John was giving her a bath, and she started shaking. He thought she was cold, so he got her out of the water. Porgie continued to shiver and shake for about 15 minutes. When the shaking subsided, I sat down to read her a few stories before bed. Porgie rested her little head against my chest, and I could tell she was hot. She had a temperature of 100 degrees. I gave her some Tylenol and put her to bed.

The next morning, Porgie woke up with a fever of 102. Her temperature stayed high for most of the day, and she refused to eat anything. Also, she was quite miserable. She walked around crying for the majority of the day.

On Monday, Porgie woke up with a fever, refused to eat, and continued to cry all morning. John took her to the doctor's office, and they said she merely had a sore throat. For the rest of the day, Porgie cried and cried and cried. She was so sad and miserable.

On Tuesday, Porgie woke up screaming. About 15 minutes after she woke up, she curled up on the floor and sucked her thumb. I picked her up and held her. She fell asleep on my lap - which NEVER happens. I knew she was really, really ill. Porgie spent the rest of Christmas vomiting and crying.

This morning, Porgie woke up crying again. I thought we were going to have a repeat of yesterday, but I was wrong. In addition to her fever, loss of appetite, and fussiness, Porgie now has a rash on her face, stomach, and back.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Scrapes and Accidents and Gas, oh my

I decided to take Porgie outside to play in the yard Thursday. Of course, she only wanted to run on the sidewalk. She bent over to pick up a stick, and ended up falling face first onto the concrete. Poor little Porgie scrapped up her forehead and nose. She looks very sad now.

My husband decided to buy a bottle of wine to drink on Thursday night. He ended up drinking WAY TOO MUCH, and was in the bathroom vomiting by 11:00 pm. He got up for work at 4:00 am on Friday, and ended up getting in an accident later that day. I feel bad for him. I know he is stressed and overworked, and this is only going to add to his woes (he was driving his company vehicle).

Izzy seems to be suffering from some severe gas problems. He grunts and farts and arches his back in pain. It is very sad to watch him suffer. I have been offering Mylicon and Gripe Water, but nothing seems to help. He was crying so inconsolably on Friday morning that I called the pediatrician's office. They basically said its completely normal. How is crying in pain completely normal?

Friday, December 21, 2007


Since Izzy's birth, I haven't really discussed Porgie - except to complain. But in reality, she is what keeps me going, even though I am exhausted and weary and overwhelmed. So this post is going to be all about my beautiful baby girl.

We had Porgie's 18 month appointment a few weeks ago. It didn't go very well. Porgie lost a pound since her 15 month appointment, which worries me - of course. Then, the doctor listened to her heart murmur, and decided that Porgie needs to be seen by a cardiologist. AHHH! Although the murmur still sounds "innocent," the doctor is worried because it has been persistent since she was born. So, now I have to take her for chest x-rays and to see a heart specialist. I am probably going to have a heart attack before Porgie even visits the cardiologist.

On the language front, Porgie is learning lots of new words. Although it is kind of disturbing, she can now say "Elmo," "Ernie," and "Oscar" (What? She only watches 18 hours of TV a day) . She looks at our Christmas tree and exclaims, "So pretty!" Whenever Porgie is eating she says, "Mmmmmm" and "Yummy," regardless of whether or not she actually likes the food. Because she is destined to be a super star, Porgie has also started singing. She knows three songs - the "la la la la la" chorus from a Seasame Street song, "e-i-e-i-o" from Old McDonald, and "Yummy, yummy, yummy" from a mommy made song (I am very talented. I make up lots of retarded songs for Porgie's listening pleasure).

Porgie also has a new best friend. His name is Night-night. He is a pink blanket, who has been tied into two knots (I have no idea why I ALWAYS refer to her PINK blanket as a male). She frigging loves her blanket, and cries for him ALL the time. When Porgie used to get hurt, she cried for mommy. Now she cries for Night-night. Enough said.

Porgie has started imitating everything we do. She tries to brush her hair, put on her shoes, take her own temperature, turn over the Diaper Champ, etc. It is very cute to watch her try, in vain, to accomplish these tasks.

Of course, with the good comes the bad. Porgie has discovered the art of throwing a tantrum. She isn't terrible or overly dramatic, but she has been throwing a fit when I don't do what she wants me to do - like turn on her Baby Einstein video for the one billionth time. She will actually throw the remote at me (which usually ends up hitting Izzy). In turn, I find myself speaking to her in a harsh tone. It is hard for me to redirect her attention, because I usually have a baby attached to my boob. So, we are working on this one. Any suggestions?

In a nutshell, my baby is growing and developing and becoming her own little person. Porgie is changing so quickly, its hard for me to even keep track of the amazing things she does. I feel like she has offically left babyhood, and is quickly approaching childhood. Where did all the time go?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


Do you like schedules? I LOVE LOVE LOVE schedules. Porgie was a wacky baby, and it was hard to get her on a predictable schedule. Around 4 months of age, she finally settled into a more predictable routine, taking 3 short naps per day. Life instantly improved in my household.

I am already looking forward to Izzy establishing a schedule of his own. I hate never knowing when he will sleep or eat. Honestly, it makes me never want to leave the house. Although I am all for breastfeeding, I hate breastfeeding in public. And I never have time to pump. So, I never leave the house.

Porgie brings me her shoes and cries until I put them on her. Then she brings me my shoes, and she tries to put them on for me. Its very sweet, but its also a little disturbing. My child is so bored, she is practically begging me to leave the house.

And I need to leave the house. Some days, the walls feel like they're closing in on me. I feel trapped.

So, schedule or no schedule, I am going to leave the house today.

Monday, December 17, 2007

I want to slap someone

This is the post where I whine and complain about how hard my life is, and you just roll your eyes and ignore me.

My children are driving me INSANE. Last night, Izzy was up every hour to feed. Then, Porgie woke up at 5:30 this morning. Obviously I wasn't going to get up at 5:30, so I let her cry. She whined for 2 HOURS. Finally, I just turned the monitor down, and went back to sleep. I woke up at 8:30, and Porgie was sound asleep in her crib. I got her up and changed her diaper, even though I really wanted to go back to sleep. I did all of this in an effort to keep her on her regular schedule, so I wouldn't have to endure any screaming.

A few minutes later Izzy woke up. We all played together for about 2 hours. Around 10:30, Izzy wanted to nurse. I could tell he was sleepy, so I put on one of Porgie's videos so she wouldn't be too noisy while he nursed.

After nursing for about 20 minutes, he was sound asleep. I slowly got up and inched over to the swing, but suddenly Porgie started shrieking for her cup of water. Izzy woke up and started screaming. I got Porgie her water, and sat down to nurse Izzy on the other side. After 20 minutes of nursing, he was sound asleep. I slowly got up and inched over to the swing, but suddenly Porgie started screaming for her blanket. AHHH! Once again, Izzy woke up crying.

I seriously wanted to slap Porgie. Instead, I decided to put her down for a nap. I put Izzy in the swing SCREAMING, and I took Porgie into her bedroom. I read one story, and put her fussy little butt in the crib. Of course, she started SCREAMING. I shut the door, and went back to get Izzy. He still screaming frantically.

I sat down on the couch, with one baby screaming in my arms and another baby screaming two rooms away. Awful morning. Awful.

After crying for 30 minutes, Porgie finally fell asleep. After nursing for 30 more minutes, Izzy finally fell asleep.

Being a mommy is tough.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

I can't stop talking about boobs

Porgie is sick. Really sick. She has been coughing so hard, she vomits. She coughs so hard, she wakes me up at night. She coughs so hard, she wakes Izzy up from his naps. I feel so bad for her. Due to our recent encounters with sinus and ear infections, I decided to take her to the doctor's office yesterday. Turns out it is just a cold - no ear infections, no sinus infections, and no strep throat.

I am kind of worried about this particular cold, because Porgie keeps coughing on her little brother. She likes to give him hugs and kisses, and I don't want to discourage her newfound love of Izzy. I know that she is going to give him her cold, and he is just too little to be sick already.

In other news, we have introduced the bottle to Izzy. On Thursday, I tried to give him a bottle of breastmilk, without much luck. He refused to suck on the nipple, and just ended up crying. Last night, John gave Izzy another bottle of breastmilk. John was successful in his attempt, and Izzy drank 2 oz from the bottle. I wanted to pump a few more ounces this morning, but Izzy nursed every hour. So, I guess I am not going to pump.

Izzy is still nursing frantically. He just never seems to be full. It makes me worry about my supply. At his last appointment Izzy weighed 10lb 5 oz, so I have to have a decent supply - right? Ack. I am so sick of talking about breastfeeding, but once again, it has consumed my life. I promise, this is the last post about breastfeeding for a while. I feel like I am alienating some of readers, and that sucks.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


So, I have been feeling a little melancholy lately. I guess it is just the baby blues and sleep deprivation. I am at the point where it feels like my life will never be good again. Too much work. Too much stress. But I know that things will change. My babies will get older and things will get easier. And I'll sleep again someday, right?

I am thinking about chronicling a night with Izzy on my blog. He is the most wakeful baby. I think you'll be shocked by his eating habits at night. I know I am. He feeds so much at night, that I was starting to doubt my milk supply. So, I decided to pump yesterday. I got 3 ounces! I was super excited, because when I started pumping with Porgie I got less than an ounce. But apparently 3 ounces isn't enough for Izzy, because my little baby nursed ALL NIGHT again.

This might be a bad plan, but I was thinking about pumping, and feeding him a bottle before bedtime tonight. If I could feed him a big 6 ounces bottle, maybe I could get more than 30 minutes of continuous sleep. What do you think? Is it too early to introduce the bottle? He will be three weeks old on Friday. I probably shouldn't do it, but the prospect of sleep is so appealing.

And these photos are for Shannon...

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Boys are different

I am used to little girls. Everything I know about babies, I learned from Porgie. Although she was an excellent teacher, she completely failed to prepare me for having a little boy.

Things Izzy has already taught me...

1. Little boys pee all over the freaking place. Every damn time I try to change his diaper, he pees. And it goes everywhere - on the changing table, on the curtains, on his clothes,and even on mommy. He also pees out of his diaper ALL THE TIME. Every time I pick my baby up, he is drenched in piss. This is very frustrating because I change his diaper approximately 56 times per day.

2. Little boys love nursing. Izzy always wants to eat. No matter how long he just fed, he will always accept more boob. In fact, I can't hold him without having him frantically mouth on his hands.

3. Little boys are very hard to change. Poopy diapers just got a whole lot more complicated. Not only do I have to clean is butt, but now I also have to clean all around his little "equipment." This carries the added bonus of being pissed on AGAIN.

4. Little boys are much calmer then little girls. Izzy will sit in the swing - without crying! Izzy will sit in his bouncy seat - without crying! However, Izzy has drawn the line with the bassinet. He SCREAMS whenever I lay him down in that damn bassinet. We are already co-sleeping. FYI - bassinets are for suckers. Don't waste your money.


John is going back to work on Monday, and I am terrified. Holy crap, I am going to have to take care of two babies. And I have to be able to do all of this on approximately 3 hours on sleep each night. Dear God, I need a nanny.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Any advice?

Izzy has his days and nights mixed up, and its killing me. He sleeps so peacefully all day and is incredibly restless at night. I have been waking him up every two hours during the day. When I can manage to get his sleepy little eyes open, I try to keep him entertained and awake for about an hour. Although I thought that this plan would produce effective results, I have yet to see many changes in his sleep patterns.

At night, he wants to nurse excessively. I will feed him, and he'll happily drift off to sleep. As soon as I lay him down, he is whining and crying to nurse again. Its very frustrating. I have tried to nurse Izzy in the side-lying position, but we just can't seem to figure it out. Either I am uncomfortable, and he is latched or I am comfortable, and he keeps popping off.

So, I need some advice. How do you master the side-lying position? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I need some sleep.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

I don't want to complain but...

Sorry for the delay in getting back to blogging, but things have been a little crazy over here. Because I literally do not have the energy to write a long summary of the past two weeks, I am going to create a list instead.

1. Friday, November 23 - I had my scheduled c-section at 7:30 am. Izzy was born at 7:48 am. The doctors were shocked by his enormous size. Otherwise, he was the picture of health. After the surgery, I was wheeled to recovery, and Izzy was wheeled to the nursery. An hour later, I was in my room, ready to hold my baby. When the nurse brought him in, she explained that they had already fed him formula. I was pretty pissed. But my baby was BEAUTIFUL. Perfect in every little way.

2. Saturday, November 24 - Izzy quickly caught on to the whole nursing thing, and he nursed ALL NIGHT LONG. I am not exaggerating. He nursed continuously from 10 pm to 5 am. I was exhausted.

3. Sunday, November 25 - My milk came in, and Izzy finally settled down for some sleep.

4. Monday, November 26 - I got to come home from the hospital. The nurses on staff were incompetent and made the process very difficult.

5. Tuesday, November 27 - My mother went back to Kentucky. Surprisingly, she did a good job of caring for Porgie, but I was happy to see her go. I wanted to spend some time alone with my little family.

6. Wednesday, November 28 - I was fairly constipated during my entire pregnancy. After my surgery, I was even more constipated. On this day, the pressure to use the bathroom became overwhelming. I was in so much pain. I had John running to the store for laxatives and prune juice. It was a long and painful process, but I finally managed to use the restroom. THANK GOD.

7. Thursday, November 29 - I had my staples removed. YIKES! I didn't remember it being so painful.

8. Friday, November 30 - We took Izzy for his one week check-up. He had regained his birth weight, plus two more ounces. I was ecstatic. I still can't believe that breastfeeding has been so easy this time around.

9. Saturday, December 1 - I developed a sore throat and a cough. Yes, I am sick. Have you ever tried coughing after having abdominal surgery? NO FUN.

10. Sunday, December 2 - Izzy has his days and nights mixed up. The sleep deprivation begins to catch up with me, and so do the baby blues. I find myself crying for no particular reason. Well, actually there were lots of reasons, but I am not in the mood to discuss them.

11. Monday, December 3 - Finally, an uneventful day. Things have been fairly calm and peaceful since the beginning of the week.

I know that this post sounds like one big complaint, but really it is not. John has been a wonderful source of support and help. Porgie has been giving Izzy hugs and kisses all day. She really loves her little brother. And the baby has been fairly easygoing (except at night).

Overall, it has been a crazy, but joyful two weeks. I am happy with my little family and couldn't ask for anything more.

Enough about me, here are some pictures of my beautiful babies...

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Izzy Update

I can't believe it, but I have two children. I am sorry for the silence, but I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. I just wanted to do a quick update to let everyone know that we are doing well - especially little Izzy. He has already regained his birth weight plus two more ounces! He is such a little chunker.

I will do a real post in a few days, with PICTURES!

Friday, November 23, 2007

Big exciting news!

I am delighted to announce on Christy's behalf that at 7:48 AM EST her new baby boy Izzy was born! He was 9 lbs, 6 oz and 19 inches long (at a week early!) and was described as "a really cranky old man with a scrunched up, pissed-off face." Christy is recovering fine, though she's still feeling a little out of it, dizzy, and sweaty. Izzy is snoozing.

Unfortunately, when they took him to the nursery while Christy was in recovery, they fed him some formula without permission, and Christy's first attempts to get him to latch were frustrating, but I’m sure he’ll catch on.

He's here and he's healthy and they're both doing great! Christy will update once she’s home and settled.

(Posted by Eva).

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


This will be my last post until after Izzy is born. Although I am super excited, I am also a little blue. I am feeling melancholy for several reasons...

1. Izzy will no longer be all mine. I feel him kick and squirm, and only I can delight in these little joys. He is my sweet little baby - all mine. But after Friday, he will be our baby. Yes, I am selfish. I like having him all to myself.

2. I know that this will be my last pregnancy for at least 4 or 5 years. Although I am not eager to get pregnant anytime soon, I am going to miss the sensation of a baby moving in my womb.

3. My life is about to change drastically. I am a creature of habit, and change is always hard for me.

But I am happy too, for several reasons...

1. I get to meet my baby - my beautiful little boy.

2. I won't have to pee 782 times per day. YAY!!!

3. Porgie and I can start playing together again. At this point, we are just coexisting in the same house. I want to run and jump and laugh with her, without experiencing excruciating hip and back pain.

I know that I frequently whine and complain, but I really am an incredibly lucky person. I have so much to be thankful for.

My wonderful friend Eva will be updating my blog with information regarding Izzy's birth on Friday. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I will miss you!


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Smelling the roses

I have a tendency to rush through things. I rarely take the time to enjoy what I have. Instead, I am always looking forward to the next big thing. This is especially true when it comes to Porgie's development. When she learned to roll over, I wanted her to sit up. When she began sitting up, I wanted her to crawl. When she started crawling, I wanted her to walk. Why can't I just appreciate what I have?

As Izzy's birth looms closer and closer, I have been trying to savor the moments with Porgie. We have been going for walks around the block, examining the leaves and playing in the grass. We have been watching videos and cuddling on the couch. We have been giving lots of kisses and hugs to one another.

As I look at my little girl, I can't help but feel a little sad. She isn't going to be the baby anymore. I want to go back in time, and savor every moment we spent together - just me and her.

Monday, November 19, 2007

2 under 2

I am always amazed by how many people are having their children very close in age. I have met two other women at story time who have children 17 months apart (Porgie and Izzy will be 17 months apart too). Both of these women have made it abundantly clear that having 2 children under the age of 2 is HARD. Each week, I watch them tirelessly chase after their toddlers, while simultaneously trying to hush a screaming baby. Honestly, I feel sorry of them.

But I am destined for the same fate as these poor women. I am going to be that crazy woman, lugging around two screaming babies. I am going to be that stressed out woman, with disheveled hair and dirty clothes. I am going to be that pitiful woman, who everyone feels sorry for. Yup, that is going to be me.

Many of my fellow bloggers also have children close in age, like Cagey and Dooney. These woman are much more graceful than me. They rarely complain, and are always optimistic. Although I want to be like these women, I am afraid that my whiny attitude will prevail. I am fairly confident that this blog is going to turn into a place where I come to bitch and moan about how hard my life is. And all of you will roll your eyes and become bored with my incessant whining.

I just wanted to give you a heads up - get ready for the complaints. Of course, I'll try to balance the negativity with adorable baby photos.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Question for all of you...

Why do people seem to stop writing posts on the weekends? I have never really understood this blogging phenomenon. I still have my computer on the weekends. Porgie still naps and sleeps on the weekend, thus freeing up some of my time. Yes, my husband is home, but we only have so much to talk about.

So, why do most bloggers stop writing on the weekends?

Of course, no one reads blogs on the weekends, so I probably won't receive any responses.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Christmas is coming!

John and I have decided to put up our Christmas tree this year (we're actually putting it up this weekend - YIKES!). I will probably regret this decision in a few weeks. However, I think Porgie will be fascinated by the tree and by ripping the wrapping paper off of her gifts. Christmas should be loads of fun this year, and I am looking forward to the festive holiday season.

I have already purchased a few gifts for Porgie. First, I bought her a Little People's Farm. She loves making animals sounds, and is genuinely fascinated with all barnyard animals. I expect that this gift will be a smash hit.Next, I bought her a little laptop computer. I was originally planning on buying her a fancier "computer", but she fell in love with this one while we were shopping at target one morning.
Finally, I bought her some puzzles - barnyard themed of course.

I plan on buying my baby girl a few more things. When Christmas finally rolls around, Porgie will be 18 months old. Do you have any suggestions for great, but reasonably price Christmas gift?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Whatever happened to wet nurses?

As many of you know, Porgie and I had a very difficult time with breastfeeding. After a month of breastfeeding exclusively, Porgie had failed to regain her birth weight, and I was an emotional wreck. Although I was tempted to switch to formula (which the pediatrician strongly recommended), I ultimately decided to primarily pump for the next 5 months (I still attempted to breastfeed Porgie when she was upset and during the night). Pumping was hard (I never had a very good supply), but it was totally worth it. Because of my pumping efforts, Porgie receive breast milk for the first 6 months of her life. Although it took a long time for me to come to terms with pumping, I am proud of my accomplishment.

Of course, I am going to give breastfeeding another try. I threw out all of the bottles, except for 4 small ones. I have my pump cleaned and ready to use (Thank you Amber!). And I already purchased a few nursing bras.

Even though I am ready to give breastfeeding another shot, I do not plan on pumping exclusively again. In fact, I am only giving breastfeeding a limited time span in my household. If things are not going smoothly after 2 months, I am going to give up on nursing.

Although many of you might not agree with this approach, I am not going to let breastfeeding dominate my life this time around. I spent WAY TOO MUCH time and energy trying to breastfed Porgie. By the end of the first month, I was still crying uncontrollably, calling the lactation consultant everyday, and waking Porgie up every two hours to nurse - even at night. Honestly, I feel like breastfeeding was hindering our relationship instead of helping it. I was so stressed out, and I think Porgie could sense my anxiety. After I made the decision to start pumping, life instantly got better. I stopped having emotional meltdowns, Porgie started gaining weight, and we all started getting a little more sleep.

With Porgie, I made the decision to pump. However, I will not have that luxury this time around. I am going to have a toddler and a newborn to care for. I will not have time to pump for 20-30 minutes, every two hours, ALL DAY LONG - in addition to cleaning all of the pumping supplies and then feeding Izzy from bottle. And of course, that would mean I would have bottles to clean too.

I am hopeful that things will go much smoother this time, and Izzy will be a champion nurser. But if breastfeeding begins to make me feel like I am spiraling towards depression, I am definitely going to stop.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The story of the poopy gym shoes

A few years ago, I owned this really cute pair of powder blue gym shoes. I am not much of a shoe person, so this was the only pair of sneakers in my closet. Needless to say, I wore them all the time.

One morning, John went outside to retrieve something from my car. He came back in and said, "What happened to your car?" Panicked, I ran outside. Some bastard had side swiped my car - and didn't leave a note. The paint was scrapped off the entire passenger side of my car. I was pissed. For some reason, I was convinced that one of our neighbors had damaged my car. Angry and ready to fight someone, I began walking up and down the streets, looking for another car with damage.

Unfortunately, I didn't find the bastard who hit my car. I began walking home, when I realized that I had stepped in dog shit. At this point, I was ready to kill someone. When I got home, I took my cute powder blue sneakers off, and I threw them in the trash. I should have cleaned them off, but I was so upset that I was doing irrational things.

Over the next two years, I never replaced my sneakers. I have no idea why I didn't buy new shoes, but I didn't.

Today I went shopping for new sneakers and somehow, I found the coolest shoes in the whole world...

I LOVE them.

Famous Footwear was having a buy one, get one 1/2 off sale, so Porgie got new shoes too...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


When I was pregnant with Porgie, I bought a cute bassinet. John assembled it, and I lovingly placed the little white slip cover over the frame. I put the bassinet next to my bed, and patiently waited for my little baby to sleep in it.

Then I actually gave birth, and reality began to sink in. After a few short weeks, I realized that Porgie didn't like sleeping in the bassinet. She wanted human contact. She wanted to be cuddled. She wanted to be right next to her mommy. Without much thought, I just started letting her sleep in our bed.

When I told other people about our sleeping arrangement, I began to realize how narrow-minded other people can be. People would make comments about me rolling on top of her, which would NEVER happen. I was always aware of her, even when I was sleeping. People would make comments about the risk of suffocation, which was very unlikely. I banned all comforters from the bed - we only used sheets. Additionally, I placed Porgie at level with my stomach, so pillows weren't really an issue either. People would also make comments about how I would never be able to get her out of our bed. This comment was the most ridiculous, because Porgie has been sleeping in her crib for about 9 months now.

I quickly learned to ignore other people's comments. I was doing what worked for me and my baby. Frankly, it was none of their damn business. With Izzy, I plan on trying the bassinet again, but I am not opposed to co-sleeping. I already know that Izzy will end up in our bed, at least some of the time. The bedrail is in the corner of our bedroom, ready to be installed.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Naps are weighing heavy on my mind

Do you remember the newborn stage? Of course, we all remember that it was tough, but do you really remember what it was like to have a newborn? All I really remember is that Porgie NEVER slept. NEVER. She was one of those strange babies who slept a total of about 10 hours per day - including nighttime sleep. When I would complain to family and friends, they would act like I was insane. Then they would proceed to tell me how their babies slept 16 hours per day.

When Porgie was about 4 months old, she finally settled into a more predictable sleeping schedule. She started taking a series of 45 minute naps throughout the day, but she would only sleep on my chest. After a few months of this, I began rolling her off of my chest and onto the bed. Even then, I didn't leave her alone. We cuddled and napped together. When Porgie turned 7 months old, I began letting her nap independently in our bed. At 8 months, I finally transitioned her to the crib.

As you can see, we struggled to establish a good nap schedule. My fear is that Izzy will be the same way. What if he doesn't nap? What if he wants to nap on my chest? What if he wants to cuddle up next to me during naps?

Obviously, I can not give little Izzy the same amount to time and attention that I devoted to Porgie. This makes me sad, but also sends a wave of fear down my spine. What am I going to do with a rambunctious toddler and a screaming newborn, who refuses to sleep?

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Work Work Work

My husband works a lot. On average, he works a 60 hour work week. This completely sucks, and is a huge strain on our relationship. I know that I shouldn't, but when he calls to report that he is going to be late again, I get pissed off. We usually end up arguing, and I usually end up hanging up on his annoying ass. Of course, this does nothing to help the situation.

Because of the type of work John does, he is also on-call on the weekends. If a customer is having a problem, John has to go out and fix it. When John works on the weekends, I get extremely pissed. If he is working 60 hours during the week, I should be able to count on him during the weekend.

John received a call this morning, and is now working instead of spending time with me and Porgie. I am so frustrated and unhappy. Sometimes I think about what my life with two babies under the age of two will be like, and I want to cry. Its basically going to be all me, all the time. I really can't count on John to help with the children, because I never know when he is going to be home.

Friday, November 9, 2007

I need pictures!!

I am going insane. I can't post pictures of my beautiful baby girl, and its killing me! Apparently our picture program isn't compatible with Vista, so I can't download pictures onto my new laptop computer. Although I can download them to my old desktop computer, which has XP, we don't have Internet access in the basement. Therefore, I can't upload them to my blog. Grrr.

I also wanted to post a picture of my belly. I must be adding inches in girth everyday, because none of my clothes seem to fit correctly anymore. When I was getting dressed this morning, I noticed that my shirt wouldn't cover the bottom of my belly. I kept thinking, "Did this shirt shrink in the dryer?" But when I tried on another shirt and received the same results, I realized that my clothes aren't shrinking, I am just getting enormous. Since all of my clothes fit last week, I am thinking that Izzy must be packing on the pounds.

Anyways, we have to get this picture problem fixed before Izzy arrives. I HAVE to post pictures of Izzy for all of my loyal readers. Lets add this to John's list of projects...

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Because I have no brain

For the last two months, Porgie has been extremely difficult at meal times. As soon as I strap her into her booster seat, she starts fussing and whining. She repeatedly says, "down," while pointing to the floor. Being the obsessive mother that I am, I refused to let her down without eating.

How do I get her to eat? Toys. Yes, toys. I started giving Porgie various little trinkets to play with - Pez dispensers, crayons, ink pens, books, etc. At first, it seemed like a fabulous idea. Porgie would eat whatever I placed in her mouth, with nary a peep. Life was good.

But somewhere over the past few weeks, things have gotten a little hairy. Porgie is now refusing to feed herself, which is fairly annoying. She is also requiring more and more toys at every meal, which is also fairly annoying. Additionally, she has started spitting out most of the food we place in her little mouth, which is incredibly annoying.

I know that her horrible eating habits are directly related to my behavior, but I am having a very difficult time reversing this tend. I want her to eat, so I end up catering to her. I seem to have forgotten that meal time should be about offering her food to eat, and not about tricking her into eating.

Honestly, I think most of our meal times problems would be solved if we ate dinner as a family. Porgie is usually always interested in eating whatever John and I are eating. However, John has an unpredictable work schedule, so a family dinner isn't a realistic option. Additionally, Porgie usually eats around 5:00 pm, and I am usually not hungry that early in the evening.

So, is anyone else having eating issues?

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Its difficult to be married to me

I know I have mentioned this multiple times, but I really don't like to clean. Honestly, I could care less if my house is messy (unless people are coming over, then I go a little insane with the cleaning). I don't vacuum as often as I should. I don't clean the toilet as often as I should. I don't mop the floors as often as I should. When I read about other bloggers cleaning and obsessively organizing their belongings, I feel bad for them. It must be really hard to keep your house spotless and care for your baby too.

Fortunately, John is totally fine with my awful domestic skills. He rarely ever complains. And he is extremely appreciative when I do clean something - which is nice. However, I am afraid that John has spoiled me lazy during this pregnancy.

As you probably remember, I started this pregnancy with elevated liver enzymes and high blood pressure. Right away, John volunteered to vacuum the carpets very week. Then, he volunteered to do the laundry. Finally, he graciously volunteered to clean the bathroom. This is in addition to his normal chores of cooking dinner, doing lawn work, and taking out the garbage. The only chore I consistently do is the dishes - and we don't have a dishwasher, so this really is a chore. Oh, and I take care of Porgie, while gestating a baby.

All of this has been fine and dandy, until now. Suddenly, my husband has been overwhelmed with my demands. Not only is he doing nearly all of the household chores and earning all of the money, but I also expect him to move our home office to the basement, assemble the nursery furniture, hang curtains in Izzy's room, put up our Christmas tree, take our dogs to the groomer, and throughly clean the minivan. And I want all of this to be accomplished in 14 days. I would also like to have our carpets cleaned, get a new roof, and maybe even a new furnace. Do you think I can fit all of this into my already tight schedule?

What do I personally plan on doing during the last two weeks of this pregnancy? NOTHING. Because I am lazy.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The Saturday from hell

Saturday started out like any other day, but quickly turned sour. Around 10:00 am we went to Circuit City to purchase a new laptop (By the way, I am in LOVE with my new computer). On the way to the store, I began feeling lots of pressure in my vagina. Honestly, it felt like Izzy was trying to push his way out. When I got out of the car, the sensation got worst. Additionally, I was having horrible back pain. I told John that I didn't feel well, and encouraged him to hurry. Although we were only in the store for about 20 minutes, I felt like I was going to pass out. The pain was terrible.

When we got home I tried to rest, but my back hurt too badly. It hurt to lay down, it hurt to sit up, and it hurt to stand. Although I typically have to pee approximately 52 times per day, the extreme pressure in my vagina made me feel like I had to pee ALL the time.

As the day progressed, the pain persisted. It didn't really get worse, but it was constant. Around noon, I also developed a pretty bad case of diarrhea. I started worrying that I was going into premature labor. On several occasions, I considered going to the hospital. The thing that stopped me was the fact that I wasn't having contractions and that Izzy was being very active.

By 7:00 pm, I was laying on the couch in agony. I realized that I would not be able to sleep with all the pain I was experiencing. Obviously this wasn't normal - I needed to go to the hospital. I started trying to think of someone who could watch Porgie.

But as quickly as the pain started, it stopped. Out of nowhere, the back pain and vaginal pressure were gone. By 8:00 pm, I felt like my normal self again. The rest of the night was fairy uneventful. When I woke up on Sunday morning, I felt really good - better than I have felt in weeks.

I have no idea what happened, but I have a theory. I think Izzy moved into some weird position, that did not agree with my body. All I really know is that the thought of premature labor is scary shit, and I am glad my little guy decided not to make an early entrance.

Monday, November 5, 2007

I did it!

I can't believe it, but we actually purchased nursery furniture for Izzy. We ended up going to about 4 different stores before we finally found some nice and reasonably priced furniture. However, it was definitely worth the time and effort. We managed to purchase a crib, changing table, and chest for less than the price of some cribs we seen.

The price of baby furniture is really disturbing. I think companies and stores are capitalizing on the excitement of having a new baby. They are jacking up prices, in the hopes that new parents will shell out a ton of money for that new little baby.

Anyways, we ended up buying the furniture at Baby Depot. Although the sales people were incompetent and the selection was small, we got a great deal.

Here is a link to the furniture we purchased. Its hard to tell from the picture, but the color is a walnut cherry. I know I said I wanted white furniture, but I changed my mind at the last minute. I LOVE the new furniture.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Why yes, I am really boring

Porgie is on the mend. She is starting to eat solid foods again, she isn't crying nearly as much, and she is sleeping through the night. In all honesty, ear infections are a bitch. I have a new found sense of respect and admiration for the parents of toddlers with chronic ear problems. I hope we never have to experience this torture ever again.

I am having a very difficult time getting my ass into gear these days. John and I can't seem to find any reasonably priced nursery furniture for Izzy. Realizing that we only have 19 days left, I have decided that we have to purchase furniture today - regardless of cost. Next week, I am going to work on finally purchasing a double stroller. And during the last week, I am going to find a bigger diaper bag for my babies. I already have a diaper bag, but it is very small. I tend to only bring the essentials - diapers, wipes, snacks, and water. But since I am now going to need to bring two different sized diapers, twice as many wipes, snacks, water, clothing (we all know how newborns love shitting all over their clothes), pacifiers, and maybe even bottles (I am planning on breastfeeding - but that is a whole other post), I think I'll need some more space. Wish me luck my dear friends - I think I am going to need it.

I plan on doing a lot of posting this month. I really wanted to participate in NaBloPoMo, but I can't commit to such a huge undertaking this month - Izzy will be born in 19 days (I know I keep mentioning this, but it blows my mind. Where did all the time go?). I have lots of things I want to discuss and get your opinions on - premature labor, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, nap schedules, etc. So, I am looking forward to spending some quality time with my computer this month.

Friday, November 2, 2007

If you're clueless (like me), here are some helpful tips

Your baby might have a double ear infection if...

1. Baby cries excessively. And by excessively, I mean ALL THE FREAKING TIME!
2. Baby is very irritable and moody. Your baby might suddenly start winging books and cups at your head in fits of rage.
3. Baby refuses all food. Not only does she refuse the food, but she acts like you are a damn fool for offering it to her.
4. Baby wakes up at night screaming. Then, she proceeds to cry uncontrollably for hours.

Number 4 was definitely the most alarming and is what ultimately sent Porgie back to the doctor's office.

Although I felt incredibly bad for my baby, I was also incredibly irritated by her. She has been so unreasonable and cranky today. On more than one occasion, I secretly wanted to run away from her. I had visions of me hopping on the next bus and fleeing this horrible situation. But then I remembered that my baby needed me and was depending on me to make everything better.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Sorry for all the bitching

Porgie is SO sick. I think we are going back to the doctor's office to tomorrow. My child won't eat ANY food, and now she is refusing milk too. She wakes up at nap time and at nighttime coughing. I guess it hurts her to cough, because she cries uncontrollably. My heart hurts for her. She is so sad and uncomfortable.

As you have probably guessed, Halloween wasn't very fun this year. Even though she felt miserable, Porgie looked absolutely adorable. I would upload pictures, but the computer that has the picture program software installed on it is currently sitting in our basement, waiting to be set-up in our new home office. Of course, that is a project that will take a while to complete. Right now we have to focus on getting Izzy's room ready (I ONLY HAVE THREE WEEKS LEFT! THREE WEEKS! THREE WEEKS!).

I am tired my dear friends. I must leave you to go rest.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Sick baby

In case you were wondering, I am feeling a lot better today. Porgie, on the other hand, isn't doing so well. She has a cough and very runny nose. My poor little girl walks around the house whining and crying approximately 90% of the day. I feel bad for her.

Due to her illness, it appears that Porgie has completely lost her appetite. Today she ate a cup of yogurt and 12 french fries. I offered her 3 or 4 different options for both dinner and lunch, but she only wanted french fries. Of course, this is driving me INSANE. At first, she eagerly accepted the food that I offered. She shoved the food in her mouth, chewed it up, and spit it out. She did this with honey dew melon, tofu hot dogs, vegetarian meatballs, pasta noodles, and veggie pot pie.

I am still a complete amateur when it comes to caring for a sick baby. Porgie has only been sick a few times, and most of them were relatively minor. I feel so helpless and unsure of how to help her. She cries when she coughs. She cries when I wipe her nose. She cries when I offer her food. She is just so miserable, and I am just so miserable.

Tomorrow is the Halloween parade at Story time. I have been looking forward to this parade for weeks. Now, I am not even sure Porgie should go. Yet at the same time, I feel like she might enjoy herself if we get out of the house. But then again, she might get all the other kids sick. Ugh.

So, wise Internet people, what do sick babies like to eat? And should sick babies be isolated to the house?

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Things are not always as they seem

Porgie began saying "mama" a long time ago. Although she rarely used this word, it was consistent in her growing vocabulary of words. The only time she really used "mama" was when she was crying and distressed. I found this to be sweet and endearing. My baby wanted her mommy to make everything better.

Over the past several months, Porgie's receptive language skills have blossomed. If I name an object in our house, Porgie can identify that object by pointing. While feeding Porgie lunch one day, I asked her to point to the light, which she did. Next, I asked her to point to the stove, which she did. Finally, I asked her to point to Mama, and she pointed to herself. I corrected her, and pointed her little finger in my direction. I asked her again, and again she pointed to herself.

When John got home from work, I asked Porgie to point to Dada. Instantly her little finger touched John's arm. Then, I asked her to point to Mama. Instantly her little finger touched her own chest.

For the past 9 months, I thought Porgie was calling me Mama. However, it turns out that she was merely referring to herself.

Friday, October 26, 2007


I am sorry I haven't updated recently, but I am very sick. There has been lots of laying on the couch and lots of television watching. Although Porgie is fine, she has been fussy due to the lack of entertainment in our household. And of course, John will be working this weekend. Life really sucks ass sometimes.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

34 weeks and 5 days

Here is a picture of my big belly at 34 weeks. I am getting to the point where I am always uncomfortable. My back hurts, my hips hurt, my head hurts, etc. But an end is in sight my dear friends. Izzy will be born in 4 weeks.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Being Paranoid

As usual, I took Porgie to the park this morning. There was another little boy at the park, who had three large whelps on his arm. I asked his mother how he had acquired these strange bumps, and she wasn't sure. She suspected that they were just bug bites.

I, on the other hand, suspected that they were MRSA. The marks looked unusually large and unusually nasty. The little boy kept touching Porgie, and I kept having mini heart attacks.

When we got home from the park, I thoroughly washed Porgie's hands and arms, but I am still worried. MRSA has killed several high school students in our area. Obviously High School students have a better immune system than my 1-year old baby.

Since we are talking about illnesses, lets discuss the fact that Porgie is still coughing all night long. She is still coughing so hard that she wakes herself up. I think we are going to go back to the doctor's office again.

Have you noticed that I have turned into a neurotic basket case?

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Pondering death

When I went into labor with Porgie, I assumed that I would have a vaginal delivery. I never read any information on c-sections. I never asked my doctor questions about the possibility of a c-section. John and I never discussed having a c-section.

But after hours and hours of labor, with no dilation, I was being prepped for a c-section. It was a whirlwind of emotion and confusion. When the doctor came into my room to have me sign the consent forms, I was in tears. I was so overwhelmed, I just signed the damn papers without a second thought.

Obviously, things are very different this time around. At my last doctor's appointment, I was asked to sign the consent forms to perform my scheduled c-section in November. The doctor explained all the risks - including death. Although I hesitantly signed the papers almost two weeks ago, I haven't stopped thinking about the word DEATH.

I could die. I know that I sound irrational and crazy, but this scares the shit out of me. Its not so much the idea of dying, but the idea that Porgie could grow up without her mommy. That little girl is the center of my world, and I am the center of her world. We would be lost without each other. My baby needs me.

I tried talking to John about my fears, but he got angry when I mentioned it. I think he's in denial about the risk of death. To him, its like I am having a tooth removed - no big deal.

You are probably thinking that I am INSANE, which I am. I know that the risk of dieing is very small. But there is still a risk, and that is very overwhelming and frightening.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Rainy day

Just wondering - what the hell do you do with your child when it rains? Porgie and I have gotten into the habit of going to the park twice a day. We go once in the morning and once in the afternoon. This is a great way to kill time, and also a great way to meet other moms. The only problem with this plan is rain.

Today it rained nearly the entire day. We were stuck in the house, and it was awful. My child kept running to the door and saying, "Zide." This means outside. However, we couldn't go outside. Needless to say, there was lots of whining. Of course, this means that I ended up entertaining her with Baby Einstein videos. The day just seemed to last FOREVER. FOREVER.

This made me start thinking about winter. What the hell am I suppose to do with her when it gets cold outside? Should I take her outside anyways? I have a feeling that this is going to be the longest winter of my life.

Also, did I mention that I will have a newborn this winter? What am I suppose to do with all these children?

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Blue's Clues is soooo cool

I need help. I think I am in love with Steve from Blue's clues.

I started turning Blue's Clues on for Porgie about 3 or 4 months ago. I instantly fell in love with the show. Although Porgie is still a little too young to understand the concepts taught in the show, she is absolutely fascinated by the characters and songs. I have been encouraging this love, because I personally believe that Blue's Clues is a wonderful program for preschoolers.

Shortly after we started watching Blue's clues, I discovered that the older shows feature a character named Steve. The newer shows feature a character named Joe. At first, I like both characters. However, my feelings toward Joe have changed. Steve is obviously better - much more believable. The more I watch Steve, the more I like him. I think I have a crush on Steve.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Random things

I have no idea what size clothing my child wears. Porgie is at a weird stage, where her 12 month clothing is too little, but her 18 month clothing is too large. I purchased all 18 month clothing for the fall and winter. So, every time I put a pair of pants on my daughter, the bottom of the pants get caught under her feet. As a result, she pulls down the back of her pants when walking. This means that her ass is always hanging out. Kind of frustrating.


I have been trying to get some of my Christmas shopping done. Izzy will be born at the end of November, so I need to get everything done before the big day. Since we are not going back to Kentucky this year, I am only buying gifts for a few people. John said that he isn't going to buy his family anything. Whatever. I am not going to stress about his family too. If he wants to be a Grinch this Christmas, that is his problem - not mine.


Stephen Colbert is running for president. I am super excited!


I am woefully behind on getting ready for Izzy's arrival. I have not bought any nursery furniture. I have not bought a double stroller. I have not purchased any newborn diapers. Basically, I have nothing for little Izzy. I need to get my ass moving! Just in case you were wondering, I have never suffered from that "nesting" thing, I often hear other mom's talk about.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Weaning part 2

Porgie is officially weaned from the bottle. The process was much, much easier than I had anticipated. For moms and dads who are dreading the process, I am going to share the techniques I used with Porgie.

Week # 1 - I started the first week by replacing her morning bottle with a cup. Porgie eagerly accepted this substitute, without any whining or fussing. For the first several days, she drank her milk very slowly. However, by the 4th or 5th day, she was finishing the entire cup within an hour. After a full week of drinking out of a cup in the morning, we moved on to the nighttime bottle.

Week # 2 - Although I was hesitant to give up the nighttime bottle, Porgie didn't seem to mind one little bit. I started giving her a cup of milk with dinner at 5:30. I have been letting her drink from the cup until bedtime, to ensure that she goes to bed at 7:00 with a full tummy. I thought Porgie would be restless without her nighttime bottle, but to my surprise she didn't seem to care at all. I was planning on giving Porgie her nighttime bottle for a full week before moving on to the nap time bottle, but Porgie had other ideas...

End of week # 2 - Porgie suddenly started refusing her nap time bottle. She still wanted milk, but she wanted it in her cup - NOT HER BOTTLE!!! How lucky am I?

Overall, weaning was fairly easy. I high recommend giving it a try. The only problem we encountered was finding a cup that she liked to drink milk from. This is the cup she has been using for milk. We continue to use this cup for water. Using different cups for milk and water has really helped Porgie in this process.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Did you know that I am a bad mother?

I haven't talked much about it, but Porgie has been having some issues lately. About a month ago, Porgie caught a little cold. She was sick for about 2 days, with a cough and a runny nose. After the two days, she was back to her normal self. However, she continued to cough at night. We put a humidifier in her room, to no avail. Around this time, Porgie also developed diarrhea. I thought the diarrhea was directly related to the cold, so I didn't think much of it.

For the past month, Porgie has had a cough at night and diarrhea during the day. To justify my negligence, allow me to explain why I let these two problems persist for so long. During the first two weeks, I thought she would fight the cold off herself. During the third week, I started to voice my concerns to John. He assured me that she was fine. During the fourth week, I came to my senses and decided to call the pediatrician's office.

I called this morning around 8:30 am. When I told the nurse how long Porgie had been coughing, she sounded shocked. She made me confirm that she had been coughing for a month approximately 5 times. The nurse told me to make an appointment and come in immediately.

An hour later, I was at the doctor's office. It turns out that Porgie had a cold, which developed into a sinus infection - which she has had for a month. I felt like a huge asshole when the doctor told me this. And apparently Porgie also has "Toddler Tummy." There appears to be no reason for her diarrhea, and we just have to suffer through it. Ugh.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Scarf for my baby

I crocheted Porgie a scarf. She looks super cool and hip and stlyish. Don't you think...She looks so cute, I am thinking about making myself a matching scarf. Of course, I won't look nearly as cute as she does.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Free stuff

I know that this post will make Eva very proud.

On Saturday, our neighbors came over and invited us to their house. We ventured a few doors down to their home, where they had tons of toys sitting in their side yard. They told us that they were having a yard sale next weekend, but wanted to let us take any of their baby toys before the sale. The toys were in great condition, and most of them were appropriate for Porgie's age.

We ended up taking about half of the toys home with us. We tried to offer them money, but they refused to except it. Have I mentioned that we have the nicest neighbors in the world? ALL of our neighbors sent cards and presents when Porgie was born. A few sent Porgie presents for Christmas. And a few even sent presents on her birthday. I LOVE MY NEIGHBORS.

Here are a few pictures of Porgie's new toys...

Monday, October 8, 2007

Things I will talk about when I am old

When I was a kid, I loved listening to my grandmother tell stories from her childhood. I was completely fascinated by the fact that she lived on a farm, used an outhouse, and listened to the radio instead of watching TV.

Its strange, but I have already seen lots of technology come and go during my life time. When I am old, I will be telling my grandchildren about...

Rotary phones


Record players

Tape playersVCRsType Writer

But the thing my grandchildren (and probably my children too) will think is the most biazzare, is the fact that we did not own a computer when I was a kid. In fact, I didn't know anyone who owned a computer. Until high school, I never used a computer to complete school work, do research, or write to my friends.

Saturday, October 6, 2007


I took Porgie to the park the other day to play. Another mother was there with her little boy. He was slightly older than Porgie (about 5 months older), but similar in size. He was carrying around a stuffed Ernie doll, which Porgie LOVED.

As he walked past, she stared longingly at the doll and reached out to touch its hair. Being the sweetheart that she is, Porgie never grabbed the doll or cried to hold it. Instead, she just watched and waited.

Finally, the little boy dropped the doll and ran off the play. Instantly, Porgie raced over to the doll and picked it up. She smiled at me and touched Ernie's fuzzy black hair. Before either of us knew what happened, Porgie was laying on the ground crying and Ernie was gone.

It seems that this little boy did not want Porgie to touch his doll. So, he shoved her to the ground and forcefully grabbed his toy from her grasp. I am friends with his mother, so of course she apologized profusely. I told her that is was fine - both babies are too little to understand the concept of sharing.

This whole episode was repeated about 2 minutes later. I gave Porgie a hug and calmed her down again, and she seemed to be fine. But then the little boy came over and started pulling on Porgie's arms. Once again, Porgie started whimpering. I felt like my baby was being bullied. I made up some excuse about nap time, and we got the hell out of there

Although it is probably a typical stage in development, this little boy seemed so aggressive. I hope my baby girl is always sweet and gentle with other children.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Birthday boy

I have scheduled my c-section. I have already received my instructions in the mail. I know which doctors will be working at the hospital that morning. I know who will be watching my precious baby girl. I am ready for the big day - the day my little boy will be born.

November 23, 2007

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Giving credit where credit is due

I often feel like I harp and harp about my horrible relationship with my mother. But things aren't all bad. Since having Porgie, my mother has made more attempts to stay in contact with me. And she often sends gifts and cards for Porgie.

Although I was reluctant to ask her to come to New Jersey to watch Porgie in November, I have been pleasantly surprised by her response. Initially she agreed to fly to the east coast if we paid for her plane ticket. After researching prices, I called her back and asked her to pay half of the bill. She agreed, but I was positive that she wouldn't save the money.

After asking her to pay half the bill, my mother and I did not speak for about two months. Because of the prolonged silence, I was certain that she had decided not to come to New Jersey. When I scheduled my c-section two weeks ago, I decided to call her to plan specific dates for her arrival and departure.

To my surprise, my mother sounded excited and eager to come to New Jersey. She even volunteered to send her $200 for the plane ticket (which I received a few days ago!). I am so happy that things are working out so smoothly between us - no surprises and no anger.

And honestly, I am excited about seeing her, and I think Porgie will adore her.

Monday, October 1, 2007


Within the next two months, I want to wean Porgie from the bottle. I have fruitlessly tried to give her milk in a sippy cup, but she refuses to drink it. She only likes to drink water from her sippy cup. Yes, Porgie is a pain in the ass.So, I decided to offer her milk in a cup with a straw. Although she seemed very satisfied at first, she quickly realized that she could pull the straw out of the lid. Needless to say, the cup with the straw didn't last very long.

I decided to try another cup - the Nuby Flip-It No-Spill Straw Cup. I have managed to get Porgie to drink two or three ounces of milk within an hour. If we keep practicing, I know we can be bottle free by Novemeber. Wish me luck...

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Climbing, animal sounds, and body parts

My child can climb. She climbs up the equipment at the park. She climbs on the ottoman in our living room. She climbs all over her toys. Basically, she tries to climb on everything. I call her my little monkey.

Because of her new found love of climbing, John finally lowered her crib to the lowest setting. However, I still have her bumper on the crib. I am afraid that she might try to use the bumper as a stepping stone to climb out of the crib. Should I take the bumper out?


Last month, Porgie was talking up a storm. She was saying new words everyday. However, she has decided to take a break from talking. Some days, I won't hear her utter a single word all day. To replace her words, Porgie has decided to start imitating animal sounds.

She can say "arf" for dog, "meow" for cat, "baa" for sheep, "nay" for horse, and "moo" for cow. She used to quack for the duck, but she seems to have forgotten this skill. I think making animal sounds is even cuter than talking.


This moth Porgie also started labeling her body parts. Porgie can point to her nose, ears, hair, mouth, and belly. I tried to get her to point to her eyes, but she just points to her ears instead. Goofy girl!


So, that is the latest update on Miss Porgie. She is learning so many new things everyday. It is amazing to watch her change and develop. While John was gone this month, I think Porgie learned a trillion new things. I feel bad that he misses so many of her milestones.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Dinner time is not for the weak

We are entering an awful phase in Porgie's development. Its called the "I don't want to eat anything" phase. If your child is already in this phase, you have my sympathy. If your child hasn't reached this phase, get down on your knees and praise the lord.

Before beginning this story, I have to tell you about Porgie's former eating habits. In the past, if I fed her something she did not like, she would simply spit it out. Porgie's tactics are now new and improved...

For the past several weeks, Porgie has been fussing at breakfast. Typically I feed her pureed fruit, so I decided to alter the menu. I made oatmeal and Porgie actually cried so hard she puked. Lovely.

For dinner, I made Porgie a tamale pie. This is the torture I had to endure for making my child a nice wholesome meal...
I am trying not to act too concerned with her tantrums. I have been casually offering her another bite, as if she wasn't having a meltdown. After I few tries, I give up and offer her something else. And by something else, I mean pasta.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Mommy friends

I am kind of a private person - and I always have been. One or two close friends have always been enough for me. As you might have guessed, I don't have a very outgoing personality. I never joined any organized sports in high school. And I certainly never joined any sorities in college.

Somehow, I have turned into a social butterfly. Porgie seems to have made me more outgoing and willing to talk to other people. I am always striking up conversations with other moms at the park, or the book store, or the doctor's office. In the past week, I have asked for three other moms phone numbers - and I fully intend to call them to arrange playdates.

This behavior feels strange to me, yet at the same time it is liberating. I have finally realized that I don't have to be lonely. I don't have to be bored. I don't have to feel isolated. Why did it take me so long to figure this out?

Saturday, September 22, 2007

There is a tear in my beer and I am crying for you dear...

Things that happened last week...

1. I took Porgie to Borders for "story hour." She was an awful beast, who refused to sit in her stroller or on my lap. She was pulling books off of the shelves and driving her mama INSANE.

2. I had an ultrasound appointment. The tech wouldn't let me watch the screen while she performed the growth check. Then she printed out two pictures, which looked exactly the same. BITCH.

3. The scheduling woman at my doctor's office was trying to trying to charge me a $40.00 co-pay. I do not have a co-pay for ob/gyn visits. I had to argue with her FOREVER. Incompetence runs rampant.

4. My husband was out of town. Enough said.

5. I tried to offer Porgie a new dish at dinner time. She had a complete meltdown. For full dramatic effect, please stay tuned for pictures...

6. My back is aching. When I stand for long periods of time, I feel like my spine is going to snap in half. The only thing that makes me feel better is laying down. Do you know how long I can lay down during the day? .003 seconds.

7. I had this great plan about having my c-section on November 21st. But, the doctors do not agree. Apparently I cannot have a c-section at 38 weeks and 5 days. I can only have a c-section at 39 weeks.

8. I went to the grocery store and had a full cart of groceries. When I got to the register, I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Yes, I am a dumb ass.

But, its over and John is back. Of course, he leaves Monday for another week, but at least he is home now.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Rough week

This week has been a difficult one. Once John gets home and I have more than 2 seconds to myself, I will explain. Until then, all I can offer is pictures. Also, I haven't forgot about interviewing all the people who volunteered. I will get the questions to you sometime this weekend. I promise.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Vaccuum cleaners are scary...

Porgie is afraid of the vacuum cleaner. In these photos, she was trying to get outside to escape the wrath of the beastly machine.
Its little moments like these, when I realize how incredibly beautiful Porgie is. That face is so sweet and innocent.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Getting ready

Thanks for all the lovely comments about how great I look. You guys are wonderful! Several of you commented on the fact that I am not "that big." I think it must be the camera or the lighting or the angle or something, because I feel HUGE. And every person I meet instantly asks about my due date.

Let us move on to more important topics - like my enormous child. Did you know that Porgie isn't a baby anymore? Did you know that she has been growing for the past 15 months? I know, I was shocked when I discovered this startling revelation too.

I have been looking at all of Porgie's old clothes and diapers and socks and shoes. I am absolutely amazed by how small she used to be. I can't even remember her being that little.

I guess this is my weird way of getting ready for Izzy.

Monday, September 17, 2007

29 weeks and 4 days

I am 29 weeks pregnant. Yes, 29 weeks. In only 10 short weeks, I will have a new little baby in my arms. This concept blows my mind.
Yes, I am already HUGE. John has told me on multiple occassions that I look like I am nine months pregnant. Isn't he sweet?

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Spare tires

We went to the grocery store on Saturday, which seems like a fairly tedious task. However, this trip turned into a nightmare. All of our woes can be traced back to a damn spare tire.

When we were loading our groceries into the trunk, John noticed that we had a flat tire. It hadn't just lost a little air - the tire was dead. As you know, we just bought our minivan back in July. As a result, we had never had the pleasure of retrieving the spare tire before.

The tire was mounted underneath the van. There was a tool in the trunk to lower the spare, however the tire wasn't coming down. It was stuck. And my husband was extremely pissed.

Being the lazy woman that I am, I suggested calling a 24 hour auto service place, but John continued fighting with the tire. After about 40 minutes of cursing and violently shaking the tire, John called the 24 hour place. The guy said that they didn't carry the tire we needed. Bastard. I know he was lying - he just didn't want to come out on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

John turned into a lunatic. He was angry and mean, so I took Porgie for a walk down the shopping center. I wasted about 30 minutes inside of Rite Aid - the longest 30 mintues of my life. When we came back to the car, John was still yanking and pulling on the damn spare tire. I was starting to think that we might never make it home again, when suddenly the tire fell to the ground. YAY!

Yes, it totally sucked, but I am so glad it happened while John was with us. What the fuck would I do if that happened to me and Porgie while we were out?

On a fun related note, John noticed that one of our other tires had a nail in it too. So, we had all of the tires replaced today. To the tune of $300. Don't you just love all of those unexpected expenses that pop up out of nowhere?

Thursday, September 13, 2007


Carrie interviewed me!

1) Before having a baby, what was your biggest fear about having a child and how did you deal with it?

My biggest fear was that my child would hate me. Of course, this fear can be traced back to my relationship with my own mother. When I think about all of the horrible things I have experienced, it motivates me to be a great mother. Sure, I might let my baby watch too much TV or eat too many crackers, but I love her wholeheartedly. I will do anything and everything to make sure Porgie always feels loved by me.

2) If you could change one thing from your past, what would you change?

I don't have many regrets regarding decisions I have made. Honestly, I feel like I have accomplished almost every goal I have set for myself. But, I do have regrets about my teaching experience in the inner city. When I left my students to move to New Jersey, I was happy, elated, and overjoyed to leave. These were children who were neglected and abandoned by their own parents, the least I could have done was feel sadness at my departure. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about them, wondering where they are now.

3) What is your favorite thing about your house?

We live in a ranch style house, so we don't have stairs leading to a second floor. That translates to no baby gates.

4) If you were a super-hero, who would you be and what would be your super-power?

If I was a super-hero, I would be The Fuss Buster. My super-power would be clearing a case of the fussies with a wave of my magic wand. I would be great around colicky babies and moody adults.

5) If you could have any job in the world, what would you pick?

I would be a wildlife rehabber. Specifically, I would rescue orphaned baby squirrels.

If you want, I could interview little old you. Just let me know...

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Having Twins

On Saturday, my little family went to Whole Foods to do some grocery shopping. The trip was fairly uneventful. However, I feel the need to share a little story with you.

I was pushing Porgie in the shopping cart, when the desserts caught my eye. Yummy, delicious vegan brownies to be exact. I was drooling in front of the display case, when a woman approached me. She smiled, pointed to my belly, and exclaimed, "You're having twins!"

My heart sunk, and my self-esteem plummeted. I glanced over at her, a look of bewilderment on my face. I was speechless. What do you say to a comment like that?

The woman smiled at me and then began explaining her comment. Apparently, she was referring to the fact that I am pregnant and to the fact that Porgie is so young. According to her logic, it is like I am having twins.

Thank goodness! I thought she was saying I am so big that I must be having twins. To celebrate the fact that I do not look like I am having twins, I bought those damn brownies.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Poop stories continued...

So, we are still having some poop problems over here. I am hoping that Porgie gets back on schedule soon, but I don't understand why it is taking so damn long.

Unfortunately, Porgie's constipation turned into diarrhea. She has had runny stools for about 5 days now. But the worst part is that she keeps pooping during the night. Sometimes she poops shortly after we put her down to sleep. And sometimes she wakes up super early to poop.

The most baffling part of this whole thing, is trying to figure out what caused this abrupt change in her bowel movements. I feed her breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the same times everyday. I put her down to sleep at the same times everyday. I give her snacks at the same times everyday.

On a related note, remember when I told you about the COVERED IN SHIT episode? Since that day, Porgie's Eczema has been really bad. Her little back and sides are covered in scaly patches. We have been putting lotion on her, but the rashes persist. When I took Porgie in for her check-up on Friday, the doctor once again prescribed corticosteroids. I really don't want to use a steroid ointment again, so I didn't have the prescription filled. I am going to continue lathering her up with lotion and hope for the best.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Big girls don't cry (but baby girls definitely do)

I took Porgie to the doctor for her 15 month check-up on Friday. Why didn't anyone tell me about the horrible reaction babies have to the doctor at 15 months. WHY???

We arrived at the office, and Porgie ran around like a wild monkey. She was pulling books off of shelves, trying to climb on chairs, and running through every open door. When we were finally called back, I was already exhausted. Then we were left in a tiny little exam room to wait for the doctor.

Have you ever been trapped in a small room, with a rambunctious toddler? Oh, the horror. THE HORROR. First, she ran back and forth across the room trying to open cabinets. Then she moved on to trying to open the door. When that didn't work, she started whining. I was trying to appease her with crackers and a sippy cup, but my plan wasn't working.

Just before all hope was lost, the doctor casually stroller in. Porgie, being a sweet little girl, waved and said, "Hi." The doctor smiled and Porgie smiled and I smiled. I thought we were in the clear. I was wrong. So, very wrong.

I picked up Porgie and sat her on my lap. As the doctor approached, Porgie flipped out. She started crying, clinging to me, and trying to shoo the doctor away. Very traumatic - for everyone involved. By the time the doctor finished her exam, Porgie had hot tears and snot streaming down her little face.

When the doctor left, Porgie instantly perked up. BUT, then the nurse came back. You probably know where this is going. The nurse came back to give Porgie her shots. Porgie lost her shit again. Except this time, she wasn't so easily consoled. She cried and cried and cried. She cried while I got her dressed. She cried while I made her next appointment. She cried on the drive home. She was so sad. I was so sad.

So, a word to the wise - your child might FLIP THE FUCK OUT at her next doctor's appointment. Bring plenty of Tylenol - for baby and mommy.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Pictures galore

Last week, I took Porgie to a great little place called the Jellybean Jungle. This is a play zone for young children. Porgie fearlessly ran around the equipment, just like one of the preschoolers. She pushed her way into play areas, threw balls across the room, and demanded to go into areas her pregnant mama couldn't fit into. She was so happy in this new environment, that I decided to take her back over the weekend.

This time was much more fun because daddy could more effectively meet her needs. They played for hours. Look at my big girl...