Sunday, March 29, 2009


So, the rash. What happened with that damn pesky rash? Well, it got better...but not really. Izzy's dermatologist appointment was scheduled for last Wednesday. On Sunday the rash was looking better. On Monday it looked great. And on Tuesday it was almost completely gone. So, I canceled his appointment.

But the rash is still present. It looks much better, but it is still incredibly itchy. Whenever we take his clothes off, Izzy goes insane with the scratching. He scratches and cries and scratches and cries...

Here is a picture of his poor little butt in the bath tonight...

So, the rash lingers. I am starting to think that we might never get rid of it.

Friday, March 27, 2009

So sorry friend

My good friend Eva had a miscarriage, and my heart aches for her. She is having her D&C today, and I can't stop thinking about my friend. I want to help her, to hug her, to make her feel better. But I can't.

I hate that we live so far apart. I hate that I can't stop by with chocolates. I hate that I can't be there for her right now.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


I am bored internet. I keep creating all of these pointless projects to occupy my time, but I am too damn lazy to actually complete them.

I recently decided to paint all of the doors in my house. Why do I want to paint all the doors? I have no freaking idea, but apparently it needs to be done. So, I went to Lowe's and bought a can of primer and a can of white paint. I came home, put the painting supplies in the closet, and then sat down on the couch to twiddle my thumbs. As you might have guessed, I haven't painted one damn door yet.

I also have this fabulous plan to organize all of the clothes that Porgie and Izzy have outgrown. Currently, I have all of their clothes haphazardly shoved into boxes and bags. I want to buy plastic storage bins and sort them according to size. Why do I want to organized every article of baby clothing I own? I have no freaking idea, but apparently it needs to be done. So, I went to Big Lots to buy some storage bins. But they were too expensive - $8 for one bin! I need at least 6 bins, so I am hoping to find them a little cheaper. So, we are going to my beloved Target tomorrow to price plastic storage bins. After I purchase the bins, I am sure I will pack them away in a closet, so that I will have more time to shoot the breeze.

I'll spare you the details of the last project, but it involves painting. And toilets. And vanities. Yes, I want to redecorate my bathroom. And when I say "I want to redecorated the bathroom," I mean that I want to hire someone to redecorate the bathroom. Because I have important things to do - like watch television or eat cookies or read blogs.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Gnome Chomsky

My baby boy is sick. This is the worst cold he has ever had. His nose is runny, he is coughing, he has no appetite, and he is unbelievably fussy. Today has been spent trying to find ways to make Izzy happy. Nothing works. He is miserable. Therefore, I am miserable. Ugh.

And because my husband is a sadistic asshole, he is working late tonight. Sometimes, I want to punch John in his face. Selfish jerk. Why does it seem like my husband is the only one who is required to work late all the damn time?

Moving on to other topics, I have two little canker sores on the bottom side of my tongue. Oh my freaking god, I think I am going to die from the pain. It hurts to eat and drink. Sometimes, it even hurts to talk. And I LOVE talking, so this is completely unacceptable.

There has been a lot of complaining in this post. Let's end on a happy note. I bought a little gnome for our yard. He is adorable. See for yourself...

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Stuff that annoys me about the blog world

Disclaimer: I am not trying to single you out or offend you. This is all in fun, you silly bloggers. But I am sure I am going to piss someone off. Sorry in advance dear friends.

1. I really hate Wordless Wednesday. I am fairly confident that about 95% of bloggers do not know what the word wordless means. How about we rename it Words and Pictures Wednesday?

2. Umm...I kind of hate all of those generic posts - like Thousand Word Thursday or Not me Monday or Friday Foto Finish Fiesta. A theme that pops up occasionally is okay, but not a scheduled weekly post. I know that you do them because they are easy, and not because you really enjoy them. I have a tip that will help you. If you don't feel like writing, DON'T WRITE ANYTHING.

3. Twitter. I hate Twitter. I really don't need a play by play of everything you did last night. Thanks, but no thanks!

4. I am annoyed by people who only tell half of the story. I am nosy! If you start your post with a line like, "My husband and I are getting divorced," I want all of the details! Yes, I know that it is your blog and you can decide the content. But you are still annoying - TELL ME THE WHOLE STORY OR DON'T MENTION IT AT ALL.

5. And finally, I hate the love affair I have with comments. We all know that comments are important, and are part of the reason we blog. But do I have to check my email 573 times per day to look for new comments? It is an obsession. And I hate it.

Okay I am done - for now. Feel free to leave a comment telling me how annoying I am:)

Friday, March 20, 2009

Gobal warming?

It has been gorgeous here in New Jersey. Beautiful, sunny, warm weather. We went to the park Wednesday. It was glorious...

And this morning, I woke up to this...That would be snow on my front lawn. Damn spring. You tempt me with your sunny skies and chirping birds, and then you bitch slap me with SNOW.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Sleep problems? Seriously?

I haven't been getting much sleep lately. My kids are sleeping great. My husband is sleeping great. But me? I toss and turn all night long. Also, I am having lots of trouble falling asleep. I lay awake for HOURS every night. And my husband's snoring isn't helping the situation. When I finally do fall asleep, I wake up every hour or two all night long.

When I wake up in the morning, I am usually not tired. I feel fine and chipper...until midday. Then I crash. I lay lifelessly on the couch, while the kids wreck havoc on our home. To remedy this problem, I have been trying to leave the house in the afternoons. If you see a zombie roaming the aisles of Target, that would be me. Or if you see a woman at the park with toothpicks propping up her eyelids, that would be me.

I can't seem to break this cycle. I have tried going to bed earlier. No dice. I just lay awake in bed for 3 hours instead of 2. I want desperately to take some Tylenol PM, but I am still nursing. I also want to kick my husband out of our bedroom, but he isn't too keen on this idea. I guess I just have to wait it out.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I think I am going to be sick

I like torturing myself. I have become obsessed with looking at the real estate websites in our area. We aren't looking move. I look at these sites, just to watch the steady decline in home prices. It is like watching a horror movie. Everyday I am shocked and appalled. And a little nauseous.

We bought our house in early 2006, at the height of the market craze. We live in New Jersey, where everything is SUPER DUPER expensive. We literally paid three times more for our house in NJ than we did for our house in KY. At the time, we couldn't find anything cheaper. But now? Oh my fucking god, the houses are going for dirt cheap. Houses nearly twice the size of our house are selling for less than we paid for our house. Ugh.

I am pissed off and angry. What if the market continues to decline? What if the market doesn't recover in the next few years? Are we doomed to live in this crappy little house forever?

Monday, March 16, 2009

I am one of THOSE people

I grew up in the ghetto. We were dirt poor. Although my childhood experiences have helped to shape me into the person I am today, I look back on those times with anger and disgust. I hated never having money to buy new clothes. I hated babysitting my little brothers every night while my mother was at work. I hated using food stamps at the grocery store. I hated taking public transportation. But more than anything, I hated being judged by other people because of what I didn't have.

Despite the odds, I lifted myself out of poverty. I graduated from college, married a great guy, worked as an elementary teacher, moved to a decent neighborhood, and gave birth to two beautiful babies. And I have to say, the grass is definitely greener over here. I love my life. But now, in my head, I often find myself stuck between two worlds. I used to be poor, so I can certainly relate to the problems/prejudices these people face. Yet at the same time, I watched my mother squander away her welfare money, with little regard for bettering herself or her children. But despite my mother's actions, I find myself stubbornly sticking up for the trashy people down the street. Maybe their 14 children are playing outside unattended because mom and dad had to work all night? Maybe their roof looks like it is getting ready to cave in because mom and dad can barely afford to put food on the table?

A few days ago, our electricity went out. I wasn't sure if a fuse had blown or if the entire neighborhood's electricity went out. I took the kids to a neighbor's house to ask. The elderly man invited us inside, while he explained what had happened. A squirrel had chewed on an electrical line. Damn squirrels! Anyways, our neighbor began telling me about a borough hall meeting he had attended the night before. Apparently, our city is tearing down a vacant shopping center in the middle of our town. In its place, they are going to build low-income housing. Our neighbor was very upset about this news. And although I hate to admit it, my first reaction was, "uh oh."

Where was this feeling of dread coming from? Trust me - I do not think that I am better than a person with less money. And we are not rich by any means. We clip coupons and skip the name-brand products. We can only afford to eat out once or twice a week. I shop almost exclusively off of clearance racks. But we certainly don't struggle to get by either. We can comfortably afford our mortgage, while still shopping at Whole Foods and Target every week.

Perhaps the "uh ho" feeling regarding the low-income housing is tied to my desire to distance myself from my childhood experiences? Or perhaps I am turning into a pretentious asshole. I don't want to be a pompous jerk, and I do not want to judge other people based on what they have. So Mr. or Mrs. low-income housing, I am officially welcoming you to my neighborhood.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

These crazy kids

Kids are funny. They take everything you say so literally. This was a conversation I had with Porgie this morning...

Mommy - "Izzy has a bump on his forehead."
Porgie - "Forehead?"
Mommy - "Yeah, he has a bump on his forehead."
Porgie - "Porgie has two heads."
Mommy - "???" ...followed by laughter

She thought I was saying that Izzy has FOUR heads. And apparently she has TWO heads. Little weirdo.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Stream of Consciousness thingie

The rash? It looks a little better. The swelling and inflammation have gone down significantly. Yay! As I typed that last sentence, I realized that I forgot to give Izzy his Zyrtec today. Note to self - if you want this rash to go away, don't be a ditzy moron.

I have decided that I am bringing back the interrobang. How many times have you ended a sentence with !?! or ?!?. Your problems are now solved...

What the hell Why wasn't this punctuation mark widely received back in 1967 Anyways, I think it is fabulous, and I am embracing it wholeheartedly.

My husband is working nights next week. BOO! HISS! Damn husband. This means I'll have to make dinner every night. And give the kids a bath. And put them to bed. BY MYSELF! The horror!

Did you know that a slinky is the world's coolest toy? Well, it is. If you don't believe me, just ask Porgie and Izzy. They have been fighting over it all morning...And since it technically belongs to Porgie, I have witnessed lots of this...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Am I still talking about squirrels?

I should probably explain my last post. I don't have a squirrel themed living room or anything. These silly little themes run throughout the house - a squirrel candle holder in the living room, a squirrel nutcracker in the kitchen, a squirrel pillow in the bedroom. Actually, each room in my house is a hodgepodge of different themes. For example, my living room has lots of giraffes, a few squirrels, a painting of sunflowers, and a few frogs for good measure. See? No real theme - just stuff I like.

Since we are talking about squirrels, have you read this book...It is awesome! It has all kinds of fun facts, like...
  • For a short time in 1967 the American Typers' Association made a new punctuation mark called an interrobang, which was a combination of the question mark and an exclamation mark. It was rarely used.
  • When Bugs Bunny made his first appearance in 1935 he was called Happy Rabbit.
  • Babies are born without kneecaps. They do not appear until the child reaches two to six years of age.
  • An average adult has around 2,381,248 sweat glands on his skin.
  • Transurphobia is the fear of haircuts.
  • In a lifetime the average person spends eighteen months on the telephone.
Yes, this information is pointless, but damn, it is interesting!

P.S. I may have purchased this book because it had a squirrel on the cover.

P.P.S. My children like to hold hands. It is the cutest thing EVER...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


I am a big ball of complaints lately. Let's pretend that I am not a crybaby, and talk about something a little more uplifting - squirrels! Back in the day, I used to rehabilitate orphaned baby squirrels. During college, I worked at a little pet store in town. In early spring, people would often find a baby squirrel at the bottom of a tree. Instead of leaving the baby for the mother to rescue, they would scoop it up and bring it to our store. I have nursed tiny babies with their umbilical cords still attached, into full grown squirrels. Someday, when I have a little extra time, I will scan in my squirrel pictures. It is amazing to see the transformation.

Anyways, I now have a slight fascination with squirrels. I thought I would share some of my squirrel bric-a-brac with you...

A squirrel pillow

A squirrel knickknack thingie
A squirrel candle topper

A squirrel candle holder

And my FAVORITE - an antique wrought iron squirrel nutcracker
When my children were born, I got to take my obessession even further...

A squirrel baby blanket

A squirrel stuffed animal

And finally, squirrel clothes
In addition to the squirrel theme, we also have a crazy giraffe theme going on over here . I kind of get wrapped up in themes. It is a sickness. How about you? Any themes to your decor?

Monday, March 9, 2009

Shoot me now internet!

This rash is going to be the death of me. I have been waiting ALL FREAKING MORNING for the pediatrician to call in another prescription. Even though I called them at 8 am, I still haven't heard back. Bastards. I called the dermatologist to make an appointment. They can't get Izzy in until JULY. What the fuck? To finish the morning, I took Izzy to the GI doctor for a check-up. She thinks the rash is definitely related to a food allergy. Ugh.

Thank you for all of the tips and advice. We have tried Aveeno lotion, hydrocortisone, a corticosteroid cream, a non-steroid cream, and Zyrtec. Throughout everything, the rash has only grown bigger. This whole thing is very frustrating. And now I have THREE doctors invovled - the ped, the GI doctor, and EVENTUALLY a dermatologist.

In other news, I have totally regressed on Porgie's eating issues. I have reverted to spoon feeding her the majority of her meals. I suck. But when she plays with her food for 30 minutes without taking a single bite, I tend to get a little worked up. John is always saying, "Why do you care if she eats dinner?" I don't know why I care so much, but I do. And it is sooooooo hard for me to let her get down without eating. I think I have serious control issues.

And finally, I have gained about 10 pounds since Christmas. It is not surprising, but it is depressing. I eat Ben & Jerry's almost every night. I am not exaggerating. Once again, I suck.

The end.

Sunday, March 8, 2009


Izzy still has a rash. Every day it looks worse. Every day it gets a little bigger. Every day I want to kick myself in the ass for letting them give my baby the MMR, Varicella, and Hep A vaccines all at one time.

The corticosteroid cream prescribed last week wasn't helping Izzy, so we went back to the doctor's office on Saturday morning. A non-steroid cream and Zyrtec were prescribed. Additionally, Izzy was given a referral for a dermatologist.

I went to Target to have his new prescription filled, but I was informed that my insurance doesn't cover the cream. I was going to pay for it out-of-pocket until she announced the total - $194! $194 for a tiny little tube of cream - a cream that might not even help. So, I didn't purchase the cream. I am going to call the doctor's office tomorrow and explain the situation. I hope that there is an alternative cream they can prescribe that my insurance will cover.

This little incident at Target reminded me that my insurance SUCKS. I went home and looked up dermatologists. Out of 22 people listed in the referral sheet, only four are covered by my insurance. And these four people all work in the same practice. So essentially, I only have one option for a dermatologist. I surely hope that they don't have a waiting list for appointments, because by baby boy needs help NOW.

Honestly, I am feeling a little depressed about this whole thing. My little guy is suffering.

Friday, March 6, 2009

It is all too much

Do you ever feel like you have information overload? We are constantly being bombarded with information. And this information is scary. Our toys are tainted with lead, plastics are poisoning us, high fructose corn syrup contains mercury, vaccines may cause autism, watching television affects language development, etc. Sometimes I wish I didn't have all of this information at my fingertips.

We have gotten rid of all #7 plastics. We are no longer buying any products that contain high fructose corn syrup. I have worried myself sick over Izzy's last round of vaccines. And I always feel a nagging concern when I turn on the television. But despite all of my efforts to protect my children, I still worry. What will the scientists and researchers discover tomorrow? How have we created such a toxic world? There are dangers lurking in very corner, and I am trying desperately to shelter my babies from them.

I just want my children to grow up in a happy and healthy environment. Why is this simple goal so hard to achieve?

Porgie jumping

Izzy climbing

The kiddos "fixing" the table.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Sorry for the measles

I took Izzy to the doctor last week for his 15 month appointment. He received his MMR shot that day, and everything seemed normal. However, a few days later he developed a nasty rash. It started on his butt, so I originally thought it was diaper rash. The next day the rash had spread up his back. I thought that perhaps it was eczema, so I rubbed him down with lotion. The next day, the rash had spread to his shoulders and arms. And Izzy started itching. He scratched and scratched and scratched his little body. He scratched until he started bleeding.

Over the weekend, we alternated using lotion and hydrocortisone. The rash continued to grow, and Izzy continued to itch. After doing a little research on Google, I determined that Izzy was experiencing a reaction to his MMR shot. Armed with my information, I made an appointment to take him to the pediatrician.

The doctor quickly dismissed my MMR reaction theory. According to him, that rash is usually head to toe, and it isn't itchy. Instead, the doctor thought it was an allergic reaction to something in his environment. I find this hard to believe, because nothing has changed around here. We use the same soap, shampoo, lotion, detergent, etc. Anyways, the doctor prescribed my little guy a corticosteroid cream. We're on day three with the cream, and the rash doesn't look much better. Here are some pictures...

I know that this sounds crazy, but I keep thinking that I have intentionally infected my kid with measles. I felt so guilty that I went out and bought Izzy a new tool set...

Mommy is sorry for letting the doctor inject you with Measles, Mumps, and Rubella.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

People who annoy me

1. People who get a dog, and then give it away 3 days later. Are you retarded? You have to TRAIN your dog. It takes longer than 3 days genius.

2. People who take up two parking spots. Seriously? Were you so rushed to get to Target that you couldn't park between two white lines?

3. People who have infants who sleep. Not only do you annoy me, but I also hate you. It is not your fault that your child sleeps great, and I am sorry, but you're still an annoying asshole.

4. People who are naturally skinny - with very little effort. Or even worse, people who complain about not being able to gain weight. Eat some damn cookies! It works for me.

5. People who use the phrase git-r-done. AHHHHHHH!!! This drives me INSANE. A guy in our neighborhood has this slogan posted on his crappy pick-up truck. Every time I see it, I am tempted to throw a rock at his windshield.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

John is smart.

For the past few months, Porgie has been playing with her umbrella in the car. The other morning, she opened the umbrella, held it over her head, and proclaimed that it was raining. John looked back and shook his head in disgust.

John: "It is bad luck to open an umbrella inside."
Me: "She does that all the time. It's no big deal."
John: "Maybe that is why the economy is crashing."

So in case you were wondering how the economy turned sour so fast, it was because my daughter opened her umbrella in the car. Sorry world.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Crisis Averted

We have been having some napping issues with Izzy. You see, I have gotten into the habit of nursing him to sleep for naps. And for the last 15 months, this plan has worked perfectly. I would nurse him, while he peacefully drifted off to sleep. I would rub his fuzzy baby head and play with his little fingers. It was one of the highlights of my day.

Last Thursday, I nursed Izzy to sleep. When I stood up to transfer him to bed, he woke up. This happens frequently. He usually rolls onto his belly and goes right back to sleep, without any help from mama. But on this day, he decided that he didn't want to go back to sleep. He cried for an HOUR, until I finally rescued him from his crib. And the rest of the day was pure torture. He cried and screamed and demanded to be held constantly. It was exhausting.

He woke up during the transfer again on Friday afternoon. He cried for 45 minutes, before finally falling asleep. And he slept for a mere 30 minutes. DAMN IT! Saturday and Sunday were almost identical to Friday. It was rough. I was forced to make a tough decision. I decided that I was no longer going to nurse my little guy before his nap.

I have to admit, I was really sad about my decision. I love nursing Izzy to sleep, but obviously it was negatively affecting his naps. And he needs his sleep to be a happy and lovable toddler. I fretted about this decision all morning long, and then I had a brainstorm! I would just nurse him with the lights on and try my best to keep him awake. And it worked internet! He nursed for about 20 minutes, I laid him down wide awake, and he put himself to sleep. He has been sleeping for the past hour. I am so damn smart.

Sunday, March 1, 2009


My cat died. My fattest cat. Her name was Olive.She was a lover. She was constantly under our feet, rubbing against our legs, and begging to be snuggled. And she loved our babies. She was a truly wonderful kitty.

Goodbye friend. We miss you.