Saturday, October 6, 2007

Bullies

I took Porgie to the park the other day to play. Another mother was there with her little boy. He was slightly older than Porgie (about 5 months older), but similar in size. He was carrying around a stuffed Ernie doll, which Porgie LOVED.

As he walked past, she stared longingly at the doll and reached out to touch its hair. Being the sweetheart that she is, Porgie never grabbed the doll or cried to hold it. Instead, she just watched and waited.

Finally, the little boy dropped the doll and ran off the play. Instantly, Porgie raced over to the doll and picked it up. She smiled at me and touched Ernie's fuzzy black hair. Before either of us knew what happened, Porgie was laying on the ground crying and Ernie was gone.

It seems that this little boy did not want Porgie to touch his doll. So, he shoved her to the ground and forcefully grabbed his toy from her grasp. I am friends with his mother, so of course she apologized profusely. I told her that is was fine - both babies are too little to understand the concept of sharing.

This whole episode was repeated about 2 minutes later. I gave Porgie a hug and calmed her down again, and she seemed to be fine. But then the little boy came over and started pulling on Porgie's arms. Once again, Porgie started whimpering. I felt like my baby was being bullied. I made up some excuse about nap time, and we got the hell out of there

Although it is probably a typical stage in development, this little boy seemed so aggressive. I hope my baby girl is always sweet and gentle with other children.

8 comments:

Dooneybug said...

Your post made me think about how I was at a mom group committee meeting a couple weeks ago. All the kids were in the same room so we could keep an eye on them. At one point I heard my son cry and he was on the floor against the wall. I went over and calmed him down, figuring he probably tripped and fell. After he was settled I went back to my seat. A couple minutes later I looked over to see a little girl that is about 4 years older than my son pushing and shoving him, he almost fell and hit his head on the wall (I'm guessing that's what happened the first time). I had to intervene at that point. I got up and went over to the little girl and told her that "we don't push and shove other people" and that my son was much smaller than her. I was so pissed but kept my cool. I know kids do this but when a much bigger child lays their hands on my little boy, I can't stand by and watch.

Cagey said...

Meant to reply to the earlier post - BOY, oh BOY. Woo hoo!

Also, regarding Playground Shenanigans. I wish I could say they get easier, but they do not. However, you are a mother and you love your daughter. Mama Bear is never very friendly. So, that is why the Playground Shenanigans never get easier. :-)

Suz said...

You did the right thing. Ty-baby is the more aggressive of the two. He isn't always so, but if he's tired, or hungry, or has just had enough, it comes out. The only solution for it is to remove him from Hen-bug and let him play alone for 20-30 minutes. It took me a while to figure this out, so maybe the other mother just isn't there yet.

Eva said...

It's so sad to see your little kid get hurt. I'm sorry! Sometimes my best friend's kid, nine months older, will hurt Baby Nora, accidentally or out of frustration. It's very sad to see her little face crumple. They don't know any better yet, but that doesn't mean the little ones they hurt stop hurting! I do feel free to say something to other kids, say at the playground, who are acting inappropriately around my little girl. It's different when you know the mom though!

Catizhere said...

I used to wish the same thing thing for Maggie. When she first started in daycare, there were a couple rough boys (they're BOYS)& she would get knocked around a bit.
After 4 bumps in one week, I told her that if one of those boys knocks you down, you knock him right back! Now, Maggie stands up for herself. She can be fierce when she needs to be. I pulled up to daycare a few weeks ago & saw her standing with her hands on her hips, wagging her head back & forth to one of her friends from class. She was really giving him a stern talking-to. When I got to the playyard, I could hear her telling him, "Well, the NEXT time you push me & take the ball away, I'm gonna tell your mommy AND Miss Sherry (the teacher)that you have forgotten your manners & you need to stay AFTER SCHOOL to learn them again!!"

Yes, I'm sure we all wish our kids would be more Ghandi-like but then again, I will not have her be anybodys doormat.

At the last parent-teacher-progress-meeting (in DAYCARE... I KNOW!!) Ms. Betsy told me that Maggie is very empathetic. If someone is crying, Mag is usually the 1st one there to offer a hug or a pat on the back. But if she feels slighted in the least or backed into a corner, she will fight back.

Em said...

Poor Misd Porg!

Kids can be so cruel, i get so irritated at play groups etc but i forget that kids dont understand..... the problem is sometimes for me that the parents dont watch or control their kids
and that behaviour go un-noticed! Not all parent tho

Eva said...

Welcome to my life, every day, in our house (not to mention daycare!). And yours in about a year =)

Congrats on the scheduled date, must be exciting to know.

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