Friday, February 27, 2009

From Ghetto to Ghetto Fabulous

Here are some pictures of my newly redecorated kitchen...


Ghetto Fabulous



Ghetto Fabulous



Ghetto Fabulous


Ghetto Fabulous



Ghetto Fabulous

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Are you there God? It's me, Cakerwakers.

I know that many of you are religious, but I am not. I grew up in a household where we did not talk about God. It was implied that God existed, but we never really discussed it or went to church or even prayed.

As an adult, I feel oddly out of the loop on the topic of religion. I have absolutely no knowledge of biblical stories. I don't fully understand the difference between Catholics and Baptists and Protestants. It is not that I don't believe in God, I am just not sure what I believe. When times are really tough, I do find myself praying to God. But I find this disturbing, because I never pray when times are good.

My husband, on the other hand, was raised Catholic. All of his years in Catholic school have taught him to despise religion. He is self-described atheist. He is skeptical of all religions, and believes the bible was created to control people.

Despite all of this, I am drawn to a religious preschool in our area. It is within walking distance of our house. Porgie would be attending school with other kids in our community. And I have heard nothing but positive things from other parents. When I told John that I was thinking about enrolling her in a religious preschool, I expected him to be strongly against the idea. But to my surprise, he seemed indifferent on the subject.

So, yesterday I scheduled an appointment to meet with a teacher at the preschool. Today, I am feeling oddly nervous about the upcoming meet and greet. I feel like I need to study up on the Methodist religion, which is strange because I have no intentions of joining their church. I am also nervous about Porgie learning bible stories. Will it bother her that we don't talk about religion at home?

This is all very confusing.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

All we've got are grunts and giggles

I hate to write this post. I know that I am being a worry wart, but I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. Izzy isn't talking. AT ALL. The kid just has no interest in speaking. He says "ma ma" on a regular basis, but that is it. Also, he doesn't babble very often. To communicate, he simply points and grunts.

However, he has excellent receptive language skills. He knows tons of phrases and can respond in the appropriate way. He can accurately identify a couch, a table, a stove, a book, a door, etc. He can follow simple one step commands like "shut the door" or "put your milk on the table." He can shake his head yes or no to respond to a question. But he can't talk.

I think the thing that disturbs me most is that Porgie was saying a slew of words at 15 months. And reading your blogs doesn't help the situation either. When I read a post about your baby talking or see a video of your baby babbling, I get a little teary eyed. Why isn't my baby saying anything?

At Izzy's 15 month appointment, we discussed his problems at great length. The doctor informed me that boys talk later than girls and that second children also tend to talk later. He also discussed the possibility of Izzy having a hearing problem. But in the end, he recommended giving him a little more time. If my little guy doesn't make leaps and bounds in the next 6 months, he will be referred for an evaluation by Early Intervention Services.

The doctor also gave recommendations to encourage Izzy to talk...
1) Talk to him more (I talk to my children constantly!).
2) Read to him more (I read approximately 592 books per day!).
Thanks doctor! Your advice was so helpful!

I really need to stop thinking about this topic. And I definitely need to stop googling it.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Stream of Consciousness: Part WHATEVER

I ordered a wine rack off of eBay last week, and I still haven't received it. I am an impatient asshole, who likes instant gratification.

Izzy had his 15 month check-up today. The kid is a giant. Since birth, he has been in the 90th (or higher) percentile for height, weight, and head circumference. Of course, this was a very traumatic appointment. In my experience, the 15 month appointment is one of the worst with regards to screaming.

Porgie has a zit on the side of her face. At first I thought she might be getting chicken pox, but upon closer inspection, I think it is just a big, nasty pimple.

I am really feeling pressured to put Porgie in preschool. All of my friends have gone preschool crazy. I am constantly bombarded with questions about which preschool I will be sending Porgie too. Is this really necessary? I stay home for a reason! Needless to say, I am not really sure how I feel about this whole topic. On one hand, school would be great for her social development. But on the other hand, it is EXPENSIVE. Holy crap people! We are a one income family, so I am not sure we can even afford it.

I think we are going back to Kentucky for Thanksgiving this year. My granny is not doing so well, and I want to visit with her again. She STILL has a staph infection, she is having trouble with one of her eyes, and she is suffering from some nasty ear infections. This is in addition to her diabetes and arthritis. Poor old granny!

I watched the movie Children of Men this weekend. DISTURBING. I can't get the story out of my head.

Do you like skinny jeans? Because I hate skinny jeans.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The day John went INSANE

I had this BRILLIANT idea. I wanted to removed the tacky metal thresholds in the doorways leading into the kitchen. I decided that we should install wood thresholds. John agreed that this was a great idea. So, we headed off to Lowe's to get supplies.

I found a lovely threshold made from bamboo. John agreed that it was prefect. We drove home, and John quickly got to work. He ripped up the old thresholds, measured the new thresholds, and began drilling holes in the wood. But then things took a turn for the worse. One threshold didn't match up correctly with the holes already in the floor. And the other threshold tilted at an angle between the dinning room and kitchen, because we have approximately 467 layers of linoleum on our kitchen floor.

John was growing angrier by the second. He was huffing and puffing and yelling. There was tension in the air as he attempted to nail the threshold to the floor. And then it happened. The wood cracked. And John went stark raving MAD. He took the hammer and beat the shit out of that damn threshold. Then he ripped it off the floor. The next thing I knew, he was gone.

The kids and I were a little startled by Daddy anger management issues. Actually, I was shocked. John is the calm, rational person in this household - I am the nut job. But not today.

Within thirty minutes, John returned home with two new thresholds. I am proud to report that he successfully finished the job without yelling or breaking anything...

Friday, February 20, 2009


I relined the cabinets with contact paper. This is what I have been reduced to - relining shelves with contact paper. I feel the constant need to be doing something productive. Although there are obvious things I could be accomplishing, like folding laundry or cooking dinner or playing with my children, I opt to reline cabinets with adhesive paper instead. I think I am going insane internet.

Also, I have been one moody mama lately. I think I have yelled at my kids more in this past week than I have in their entire lives. Why? I have no idea. They are just being their normal, slightly annoying little selves, and I am being a big bully.


I feel a little off balance, but I am not sure why. I am getting lots of sleep, I have been eating good, and we have been leaving the house on a regular basis. I guess I have just slipped into a bad spot, and I need to get myself out of it.

I think the Spring will help me. I want to go outside and play.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


Baby stuff is important to me. I can't part with it, because that would be admitting that my kids aren't babies anymore. So, I cling to Porgie's old clothes. I lovingly admire the bouncy seat. I refuse to throw away broken toys. It is a sickness.

But despite my obsessiveness with baby stuff, I thought I was ready to sell my baby bassinet. My kids never liked sleeping in it, and it was taking up a ton of space in my bedroom. So, I decided to list the bassinet on Craig's List...
Unfortunately, the bassinet did not sell quickly. Every time I listed it, several people would contact me immediately. I was stood up TWICE by people who wanted to come look at the bassinet. After much aggravation, I decided to take the bassinet off of Craig's List.

However, my husband continued to bitch and moan about the damn bassinet. In his defense, the clutter in this house is overwhelming. So I decided to list the bassinet one more time. Once again, I was contacted immediately by a potential buyer. I set up a date and time for a young couple to come look at the bassinet.

Instead of being stood up AGAIN, the couple actually showed up. They bought my bassinet. I instantly felt pangs of regret as the woman handed me the money. And I almost cried when they carried it out the door. I put my Porgie in that bassinet when she was a wee little babe...Why have I placed so much emphasis on these silly objects? My children didn't even enjoy the bassinet, yet I feel oddly sentimental about it.

And my bedroom feels strange and empty.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Paying it Forward AGAIN!!!

I did this a few years ago, and I am doing it again. The first three people to leave a comment on this post, will get a gift from me within one year (2/18/10). But to receive your fabulous handmade gift, you have to pay it forward on your blog. Good luck!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Glutton for Punishment

Do you ever find yourself craving chaos? Because I think I am addicted to a hectic lifestyle. Porgie was a high needs baby, who required lots of attention. Shortly after she emerged from this stage, I got pregnant with Izzy. After Izzy was born, I experienced the joy of having two children under the age of two. Throughout everything, I have been happy. Actually, these last few years have been the happiest years of my life.

Lately, things have been very calm around here. The kids are perfect. John and I have been getting along great. I am talking to my mother on a regular basis. But despite this time of tranquility and peace, I often feel a little discombobulated. Honestly, I think I miss my crazy life. My mind is constantly racing with thoughts of remodeling or moving or having another baby or starting a business. Why can't I just relax?

I think, in some weird way, I feel like the chaos makes me a more interesting person. I have nothing to talk about - on this blog or in real life. Everyday we do the same routine and everyday things go pretty smoothly. This makes for VERY boring topics of conversation. I recently started emailing a friend from high school, and I was shocked at how little I had to say. She literally wrote a short novel on her current life. I responded with a three sentence paragraph about my life. What the fuck? Am I THAT boring.

I don't want to be misunderstood - I LOVE my life. I am happy. Maybe I need a new hobby?

Monday, February 16, 2009


I have been busy being an artist lately. After much debate, I decided to make my own fruit artwork for the kitchen. Although I am not very talented, I did manage to complete the project. The paintings are very simplistic, but I like them. What do you think? Be honest internet!

Friday, February 13, 2009


I don't read much fiction. No, I love to read informational books and magazines. For the past few years, I have been baby obsessed and it is reflected in my collection of literature. First, I started reading pregnancy books...

After the pregnancy, came the nursing...

Then I realized that my children wouldn't sleep...

After I got the kids sleeping, I finally started fretting over their development...

I am starting to venture down this path, but we are just not ready yet...
And my current favorite read is this lovely book...

How about you? What do you read?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

My bestest goodest friend Eva

Today is my birthday homies! I wanted to show you the most awesome gift I received...

My dear friend Eva sent this amazing photo book of my two precious babies. Did you know that I met Eva through blogging? And we talk on the phone several times per week? And now she is one of my most beloved friends? She is the stuff best friends are made of, but she is 12 hours and 45 minutes away. DAMN IT!

Thank you Eva. You are the best!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The handsomest little man

I know everyone thinks their kids are cute, and I am no exception. However, Izzy is going through an "I am extremely adorable" phase. Look at this face...And those eyes! Those beautiful eyes! The cuteness is overwhelming.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

We did it! Yay!

I know you had your doubts, but we managed to hang the fruit plaques...Adorable - right?

We just had the busiest morning EVER. The kids woke up at 7:00. We quickly ate breakfast, and I started some chili in the crock pot. I dressed the kids and myself. We drove to the bank and cashed a few checks. Next, we went to Target to pick up some snacks. Finally, we raced over to Border's for story time. The kids were AWESOME. I am not exaggerating when I say that they were the best behaved kids in the whole store. We drove home, and I started making lunch. While the kids were eating, I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Then we read three books, and I put the kids to bed. Phew! I am exhausted! And it is only 1 pm!

I plan on going to the craft store this afternoon. I have a project in the works. Pictures to come soon...

Monday, February 9, 2009

Fuzzy Math

John and I were trying to hang five fruit plaques on the soffit above our cabinets this evening. We measured the space and then divided by five. But then I realized that I actually wanted to hang the plaques four inches in from each side of the wall. At this point John had a plan...

John - "I think we should divide the length in half to figure out where the center fruit should be hung."

Christy - "That is a good idea."

John - "Yeah, we'll cut it in half and then times it by two."

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Operation Kitchen: part 1

We had the kitchen painted today. I LOVE the color, but the painter (HS) was a wee bit sloppy. My husband is kind of pissed. HS got paint on our light switches, on the trim around the cabinets, and on the hardware on the exterior door. He also painted one section of trim green, that my husband had specifically asked him to paint white. Unfortunately, we didn't notice these mistakes until HS had already left for the day. So, I have the distinct pleasure of pointing out all of his mistakes in the morning. I am not good with confrontations. Demanding that HS remedy the situation is going to keep me awake all frigging night. Ugh.

Anyways, I have uploaded some before and after pictures for your viewing pleasure.


Yes, I am well aware of the fact that it looks like we live in the ghetto. But we don't. Our house just need lots of updating. And, I had already taken all of the decorations down when I snapped these pictures. We actually plan to completely gut the kitchen in about 4 years, but for now, a fresh coat of paint will make the room more bearable.


More pictures to come when the job is finished:)

Friday, February 6, 2009


I am having a really hard time sticking to a damn theme in the kitchen. First I wanted a Tuscan look. Then I wanted something more modern. Then I wanted something vintage. It is all very confusing. And expensive.

At first, I was just going to paint the walls and buy a new painting. But then I realized that I would need a new tablecloth. And then I realized that I would need a new cookie jar and salt & pepper shakers. And then I realized that I would have to replace our clock. And then I realized that I would have to replace all of the throw rugs. DAMN! This little projects is going to drive us into the poorhouse.

We currently have a rooster theme, and I don't really like any of our decor. It was cute in our kitchen in Kentucky, but it just looks drab and boring in our current kitchen. I made the mistake of acquiring EVERYTHING rooster themed. Why didn't I just buy a regular clock? Did the throw rugs all have to have big roosters on them? A rooster timer? WHAT WAS I THINKING?

So, I am in the process of buying all new EVERYTHING for the kitchen. My husband is pretty pissed, because we are trying to save money. But I can't do it half-assed - I have to go all the way. Aren't these the cutest wall hangings?

My husband dosen't like them, but I LOVE them. What do you think?

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Straight from the Kitchen of Suzy Homemaker

These are vegan banana oatmeal cookies. AWFUL. I am not sure if I screwed up the recipe (which is VERY likely) or if the recipe was flawed, but these cookies were funky. Way too thick and dry. Yuck!

Christy + Baking = Nastiness

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I always have a hard time titling my posts.

We woke up to a winter wonderland this morning...

I decided that we had to go out and play. I searched high and low for Izzy's winter coat, but I couldn't find it anywhere. I decided to put him in Porgie's coat from last winter, so please excuse his girly appearance.

We walked outside, and Izzy refused to stand up. He kept plopping down and screaming...

Porgie, on the other hand, thought the snow was awesome...
I thought Izzy would calm down after a few minutes, but I was wrong...
Porgie was knee deep in snow, but she just kept on trucking...
Due to Izzy's tantrum, we couldn't stay outside long. We came back inside, and he continued to scream all morning. It was awful internet. AWFUL. I just put him down for his nap because I couldn't stand to hear him for another minute. It was one of those mornings where I was thisclose to slapping his little ass. And I don't even believe in spanking kids! Yikes!

So rough morning in Cakerwakerville. Thanks for all of the advice regarding the sunflower theme in the kitchen. Since we already have a painting of sunflowers in the livingroom, I think I am going to go with a fruit theme in the kitchen. Now, I need your opinion on which fruit art looks better...

Option A

Option B

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The many shades of yellow

My birthday is fast approaching. As a present, I have requested to have the kitchen painted professionally. John promised to get some quotes, but of course, he has failed to call anyone yet. And my birthday is less than 2 weeks away. He really needs to get snappy, or I am going to be one angry mama.

When I decided to paint the kitchen, I also decided that I wanted to do a sunflower motif. We have a bright yellow tile backsplash (circa 1974), and I thought the sunflowers would match the existing colors. However, my cousin informed me that "sunflowers are white trash." What? Sunflowers are trashy? I had no idea.

Since I am now doubting my original plans, but still want to stick with something yellow, I have decided that perhaps I should go with a banana motif. Except I have looked everywhere for banana artwork, and have failed to find anything promising. DARN! There are lots of apple, grape, and pear pictures, but not so many bananas.

So I am turning to the internet for sage advice and wisdom. Are sunflowers trashy? If so, where would one find banana pictures? Or are bananas trashy too?

Monday, February 2, 2009

New Tricks

Izzy has been learning lots of new tricks lately. He shocks us, amazes us, and makes us laugh everyday.

Izzy likes to play with cat toys. More specifically, he likes to chew on a carpet covered ball that hangs from our kitty tower...

He likes to squeeze himself into tiny little baskets that were originally intended to hold toys...
He likes to climb on chairs to reach things he isn't supposed to play with - like the stereo...
And he likes to feed himself mashed potatoes with a spoon...

Isn't my little guy amazing?