Bitching

I had another orthodontist appointment this week. And this was the appointment that convinced me that I am wasting my money. It takes my teeth FOREVER to move (just ask my orthodontist), and then they move right back to their old position.

This week the dentist took off the powerchain on my upper teeth. I was instantly nervous about this decision. I left the office convinced that my gaps were going to open back up. And unfortunately, I was right. The NEXT MORNING I woke up to find a small gap between two of my teeth. FUCK!

I have been fretting endlessly about my upper teeth. I stare in the mirror watching these tiny gaps reappear. It is frustrating and heartbreaking. I go back to the ortho in mid-December, and I plan on requesting another powerchain (which is funny since I have cursed my powerchain for being so damn painful).

So things aren't good in the teeth department.

Eating lips

Porgie and Izzy had another 6 month dentist check-up/cleaning today. The good news is that everyone was well behaved. The bad news is that my baby girl had a cavity between her back molars. Apparently I am not flossing between her teeth often enough (okay, I have NEVER flossed between her teeth). Oddly enough, I was very disturbed by the cavity. Somehow, I felt like I had failed her. The dentist repeatedly assured me that is wasn't a big deal and that they could fill it right away.

Fifteen minutes later Porgie was all fixed up, and we were ready to leave ($180 poorer). The dentist told me to have Porgie chew on a piece of gauze, because children often bite on their lips when they're numb. We promptly left the office and drove to Target for a special treat for my brave little girl.

Although she kept the gauze in her mouth while we were picking out our treat, I noticed that the gauze was suddenly very pink. I took it out of her mouth, and I seen her gnawed up, bloody lip. I literally gasped in horror, which made Porgie cry. Despite chewing on the gauze, she had taken chucks of flesh out of her bottom lip. I hugged my baby girl tightly, and we headed home.

This afternoon Porgie's lip is causing her lots of pain. She alternates between whining and rolling around on the floor in misery. I feel so bad for her. Mommy fail # 3,445,678.

You love hearing about my teeth - right?

I had another ortho appointment yesterday. Holy crap, my teeth are throbbing today. These powerchains are really kicking my butt. I tried to eat a Hersey chocolate bar last night, but it was just too painful to eat chocolate. Too painful to eat chocolate! You know that is REALLY REALLY painful because I love me some Hersey's chocolate.

The gap between my two front teeth is officially closed. I have been pointing this out to everyone, because no-one seems to notice. And frankly, it is really pissing me off! My husband never noticed until I mentioned it. Then he told me that he liked the gap between my front teeth, which just made me question why I am even doing all of this. Of course I am doing this for ME, but John's opinion is definitely important to me. Especially what he finds attractive.

Other than that, things have been going smoothly in the braces department. After months of very little progress, my teeth are finally moving and changing. My midline on top and bottom almost matches up, which is another huge milestone. I have also noticed some improvement with my overbite. It is all very exciting!

Like a Virgin

I had another orthodontist appointment last week. Holy shit, I thought the dental assistant was going to pull my damn teeth out. When taking off and putting on my powerchains, she manhandled my highly sensitive teeth. It was a nightmare. The good news this that I am FINALLY starting to see some progress!

I have noticed that a few of my gaps are slowly (very very very slowly) starting to close. Now, these aren't big dramatic changes. In fact, my husband hasn't noticed any changed at all. But I stare at my teeth in the mirror several times per day (I am a little obsessed with my teeth lately), and I have noticed some improvements. First, the gap between my two front teeth is slightly smaller. For a girl who hates her gapped teeth, this is AWESOME! Second, one of my pre-molars has rotated to the correct position. This tooth was turned at an odd angle, but it looks perfect now. And finally, my bite is feeling much better. For the past month or two, my canine tooth on the top was hitting my first pre-molar on the bottom, which prevented me from closing my teeth correctly. It was an annoying sensation. But that problem seems to have been resolved, because my bite feels normal again. YAY!

I was telling my cousin about my gap closing, and she commented that she would miss my gap. I was a little baffled. She went on to explain that my gap was like my trade mark. And then she compared me to Madonna. Ummm...I am so not Madonna. Madonna manages to have a gap and still look fabulous. All I manage to do is look retarded. So although my family might miss my gap, I can't wait to be rid of it.

I hate teeth

I had another Ortho appointment this week. Not good friends. Not good. The doctor told me that my teeth are moving at a very slow rate. Much slower than the average person. After looking at my before pictures, he confirmed what I had suspected. My teeth really haven't moved much at all during the last four months of treatment. So, he told me that my treatment plan will likely take longer than the original estimation of two years.

To say that I am disappointed is an understatement. I felt like crying when told me that I haven't made much progress. I look like a moron, my teeth hurt a lot, and I can't eat anything. Additionally, I paid $5,400 for these fucking braces, and I want to see some damn progress!

So, I am feeling a little melancholy today. It seems like nothing is ever easy. I am frustrated and disappointed. On the bright side, having braces on longer means that I'll have more time to save money toward my 5 dental implants. But thinking about the dental implants just depressed me again, because they cost a fortune. I am glutton for punishment.

Metal Mouth

I've been having some trouble with my fucking braces. Gah. My gum is really swollen around one of my molar brackets. I brush 3-5 times everyday. I floss. I use mouthwash. I just don't get it. How are my gums swollen? Thankfully I have another Ortho appointment this afternoon, so maybe the doctor figure out the problem.

Speaking of braces, I am already sick of this evil contraption. My mouth isn't adjusting very well to all the metal. Every week or two I have a new raw spot in my mouth. I go through tons of wax. TONS. I have probably accidentally eaten at least 20 pounds of wax over the last several months. Additionally, my teeth seem to always be sensitive. Most days it still hurts to eat something has simple as a sandwich. So during my 4th month of treatment, I am still primarily eating mushy foods. It sucks.

The real kicker is that I haven't noticed any changes in my teeth yet. Everything looks almost exactly the same. I did notice that one crooked tooth straightened out, but otherwise things look almost identical to my before pictures. I know it has only been four months, but seeing a little progress would make the whole situation easier to deal with.

In summary, braces suck. Learn to like your imperfect smile.

Its that time again...

Yesterday was Ortho day. I went in for my 2nd adjustment. I was feeling pretty confident, because last time my teeth only ached for a few days. Easy peasy! But those sick bastards got me again. They introduced something new - the powerchain. Just typing the word gives me cold chills.

They powerchained 2 of my upper teeth and 4 of my lower teeth. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. It hurts. On a scale of 1 to 10, I would say that my teeth are at least at an 8. A throbbing, uncomfortable, miserable 8. Not only does it hurt to eat, but it also just hurts for no reason whatsoever. The pressure is overwhelming. I am always aware of the pushing, pushing, pushing sensation.

So the bad news is that I can't eat again. The good news is that I am going to be one skinny bitch by the end of this whole experience.

The only one I can depend on

After getting my braces, my teeth hurt for about 3 solid weeks. It hurt to eat almost everything. My front teeth became super sensitive to any amount of pressure. Then last week, my mouth started to feel better. I even ate a sandwich (with bread!) on Saturday. It was amazing.

Yesterday I went in for my first adjustment. And holy shit, my teeth HURT. I am such a wussy. I am never eating food ever again. Except for ice cream. Because ice cream can heal all wounds.

I love you ice cream.

Update on the choppers

So, I had another appointment with the orthodontist today. My spacers were taken out, and molar bands were forced onto my teeth. Holy cow! It was a rough experience. The dentist manhandled my teeth. And my jaw hurts tonight. But it is DONE. And for that, I am thankful.

Oddly enough, they didn't actually tie the molars in with my other teeth today. The doctor wants to see me back in three weeks, so I guess they will put in a new wire that goes across the brackets and bands at that appointment. I probably should have asked, but by that point I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

The good news is that my teeth are finally starting to feel normal again. For the past week, my teeth really hurt. But now I just have a few teeth that feel kind of numb. It is a strange sensation, but much preferred to pain.

So, things are progressing. I have been a whiny asshole throughout this entire process. Everything just hurts way more than I thought it would. I am a wussy.

Being angry for no good reason

Today was the day from HELL. Things just kept going wrong. By the end of the day, I was exhausted and cranky. And things got ugly here in Cakerwakerville.

I had another orthodontist appointment this morning to place spacers between my back teeth. I didn't have a babysitter, so I had to take the kids with me. We arrived on time, and they promptly called me back to place the spacers. AWESOME!

When we left, Porgie kept asking me if we could have pizza for lunch. She was being so sweet and polite that I couldn't resist. I happily agreed to get pizza for lunch. It was only 11am, so we went to Target before heading to the pizza place. I managed to spend $80 (what the fuck did I buy?) and they were out of milk (fuckers). I got out to my car and looked over my receipt. I had given the cashier a coupon for toilet paper, which wasn't taken off. Grrrr. But how could I prove that I gave her the coupon? Annoyed that the stupid cashier didn't take off my $1.50 coupon, I left Target.

We quickly took our groceries home and headed to the pizza place. We went to a small local place, and they were packed. Every table in the restaurant was occupied. DAMMIT! I told Porgie that we could get the pizza to go and eat it at home, but she was heartbroken. She really wanted to eat inside the restaurant. So, I loaded the kids back into the van and we drove to another pizza place. This restaurant was also busy, but we did manage to get a table. And we waited and waited and waited. The waitress was soooooo slow. By this time it was nearly 1pm, and my kids were starving. After nearly 30 minutes, we finally received our food (which I couldn't eat because my fucking teeth HURT). As the minutes ticked by, I realized that there was no hope for a nap. This pizza thing was taking way too long.

Suddenly, I started getting horrible stomach pains. I desperately had to use the restroom. Not wanting to take two babies into a public restroom with me, I decided to drive home (quickly) to use the restroom. This might be too much information, but I barely made it. Barely.

After emerging from the bathroom, I sat down on the couch to relax. I was talking to the kids when suddenly one of my spacers popped out. Fuckity fuck fuck! I tried to floss the spacer back into place, but it didn't work. I called the orthodontist's office and they asked me to come back. So I loaded the kids into the car and off we went AGAIN.

By 5pm, I was a raving lunatic. I was angry and tired and hungry and annoyed. When my husband arrived home, I felt like ripping his head off and throwing it across the room.

I am just glad this day is almost over.

BIG news in the teeth department

So, I have braces. Where did that come from? On Monday I went in for x-rays and molds with my new orthodontist, and I walked out with a mouth full of metal. And I have to say, it is a little embarrassing and a lot uncomfortable.

Originally, my dentist told me that I was a candidate for Invisalign. For the last six months I told everyone that I was getting Invisalign. But when I went to see my new orthodontist, he basically told me that it would take 3+ years if I used Invisalign. And my results would most likely be less than desirable. So following his sage advice, I opted for regular old metal braces.

After selecting my braces, the doctor asked if I would like to get started immediately. I said yes. I left the orthodontist's office an hour later with braces. I feel very self conscious. I keep putting my hand in front of my mouth when I speak (which is just drawing more attention to my mouth, but I can't help myself). My lips are hurting. My teeth are hurting. My bank account is hurting (badly).

In case you are thinking about getting braces, I have to warn you - the first few days are painful. I mean PAINFUL. It literally hurts to eat bread. I am living off of yogurt and applesauce. If nothing else, hopefully this pain will result in some weight loss.

On the plus side, I am so excited to FINALLY have braces and be one step closer to having nice teeth. Of course, I still have lots of obstacles to overcome (have I told you about my transposed teeth?), but it feels good to be making progress.

How is that for a mixed bag of emotions?

Dental stuff

Porgie went to her first dentist appointment today. I know, I know - I am way behind schedule. The good news is that she didn't have any cavities. YAY! The bad news is that her thumb sucking is causing her to have an open bite. This is a problem that I have no idea how to correct. Porgie doesn't suck her thumb much during the day, but she always sucks her thumb when she goes to bed at night. Obviously I am not in the room with her while this is happening, but I can hear her slurping on her thumb over the baby monitor. The doctor suggested going into her room once she is asleep and pulling her thumb out of her mouth. I am going to be completely honest with you, I am not going to do that. Because what if I woke her up?

Tomorrow is Izzy's first dentist appointment, and I am hoping it goes just as smoothly as Porgies. I am guessing that it isn't going to be as carefree, because last November Izzy's doctor pointed out that he seems to have a deficiency with his tooth enamel. I am keeping my crossed that it isn't a big deal.
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In completely unrelated news, I plan on getting back into the swing of things soon. I feel like my blog has been drab and dull lately. I have only been skimming the surface of lots of issues, which makes for incredibly boring blog fodder. Sorry friends.

Update on Friday's Post

Regarding the gloomy weather: It rained all weekend. We also had lots of strong winds, which resulted in a cable outage. If this just involved our television, it wouldn't have been a big deal. However, we also get our internet and phone through cable. We were completely cut off from the outside world. It kind of sucked.

Regarding the yeast infection: What a difference two days can make! I feel sooooooo much better. Helpful hint - if you are taking antibiotics, it would be wise to invest in some probiotics. Another helpful hint - do not use scented flushable wipes (what the hell was I thinking?). It seems that the yeast infection from hell has finally abated. And holy shit, I am going to take every measure to make sure it never happens again. This was my first yeast infection, and hopefully my last. Truly, it was hell on earth.

Regarding dentists: I made an appointment with my new orthodontist. They couldn't get me in until Mid-April. I am frustrated by how long this entire process is taking. I decided I wanted to fix my teeth last October. Six months have passed, and I have made very little progress toward that goal. If I am not in braces by summer, I am going to flip the fuck out. Why is this so hard? Also, my insurance company refuses to give payment on my oral surgery bill from January. First they needed more information from the doctor. Now they are consulting with another dentist about the work that was performed. I know what they are doing. They are trying to find a way to deny the claim. And it really pisses me off. Once again, I am left wondering why we shell out money for useless insurance.

Feeling sad, disappointed, upset, and itchy

This has been the looooongest freaking week of my life.

Dental issues are stressing me out again. After being at my dentist's office for 5 months, he recently admitted that my case is too complex for him. He has referred me to another dentist. I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. I appreciate that he is admitting his limitations, but I am annoyed that he didn't admit this from the beginning. I have wasted lots of money on his "consultations." Jerk.

My UTI turned out to be a yeast infection. I guess. I was prescribed Diflucan, which I promptly took. However, three days later I am still having symptoms.

The weather has gone from sunny and lovely, to rainy and melancholy. I think I'll end on that note.

Dentally Retarded

As you know, I am in the process of having my teeth fixed. I haven't explained the extent of my problems, because honestly, I find the whole thing to be extremely embarrassing. All of my dental problems are genetic, so I don't know why I harbor so much shame, but I do. Today I am going to talk specifically about my problems (gulp).

Unfortunately, I am congenitally missing 5 adult teeth (It is a condition called Hypodontia). This basically means that 5 of my teeth never developed. As a result, I never lost 5 of my baby teeth. Since no adult teeth formed under these teeth, the baby teeth simply never fell out. The good news is that 4 of these teeth are toward the back of my mouth. Upon meeting me, you would never notice these teeth (they are my 2nd premolars). To remedy my dental problems, I need to have my retained baby teeth pulled (I had 4 of the teeth removed last month), wear braces for two years, and replace my missing teeth with dental implants. I may also need veneers to widen my lateral incisors.

When I met with my oral surgeon, he suggested that I might have a mild form of an ectodermal disorder. Basically, these disorders develop before birth and result in the abnormal development of the skin, hair, nails, teeth, and sweat glands. In my case, only my teeth were affected, which makes me incredibly lucky (I guess). The dentist assured me that he has seen much worse. He even mentioned having to fit 9 year-olds for dentures. He also told me that many of these people have little or no hair, and they can't sweat. So no matter how sorry I feel for myself, I keep reminding myself that it could have been much worse.

So there you go. Now you know about my horrible, shameful secret. I am dentally retarded.

The weather outside is frightful

I can't believe it, but it is supposed to snow again. They are predicting 18-24" inches of snow tonight. I think I am starting to understand the concept of cabin fever. I am so freaking bored. Maybe I should clean the house or something? Nah, that sounds like entirely too much work.
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I received a letter from my dental insurance requesting more information/proof that I needed to have those 4 teeth removed last month. This makes me incredibly nervous because I elected to have those 4 teeth removed. There was no pressing medical reason to have them removed. Basically, they were preventing me from getting braces. I have a really bad feeling that the insurance company is going my deny my claim. Translation = I am going to be stuck with the $1,000 bill. I have been fretting endlessly about this issue.
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I got a new vegan baking book. I have been experimenting with lots of different recipes, but things haven't gone quite like I had hoped. The muffins are always too wet and the cookies are too soft. It seems like I have to cook everything for 5 minutes longer than the time specified. And unfortunately, things still aren't turning out right. However, I haven't given up hope yet. She has a recipe for "gas station pies," which sounds amazing. I'll let you know how they turn out.
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Potty training isn't going very well. I finally convinced Porgie to wear underwear again, but it didn't end well. She refused to use the potty all morning. Before nap time, I asked her to go pee on the potty. She cried and screamed for nearly 20 minutes, and she never peed. So, she went back to diapers AGAIN. Sigh. I feel like we are never going to get potty trained.
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My mother bought Porgie this bike for Christmas. We didn't give it to her, because we didn't have a bike to give Izzy (we also stored it away because it was cold outside and there is no room for her to ride a bike in the house). My mom emailed me the other day to tell me that she is buying Izzy this bike. YAY! I can't wait for his new bike to arrive. The kids are going to flip out!

Selfish

Although I don't quite understand how, we are once again in a very tough situation financially. Apparently, the beginning of the month is a bad time for us. The mortgage is due. Our credit card bills are due. The cable bill is due. Dance school tuition is due. Ever since we upped the amount we are paying monthly on our BIG credit card, we seem to have no money to spare.

So, once again we are skipping the grocery store next week. Which is fine, but it worries me. My husband is working so hard to pay off our debit, while I am in the process of accumulating a TON of debt. Dental work is expensive shit. After insurance, my dental surgery still cost us nearly $300. And unfortunately, that one procedure used up my entire maximum for my insurance (we have a $1,000 maximum). So, for the remainder of this year I have no more dental insurance. Gah.

Honestly, I have never worried about money this much before. In the past, taking on new debt didn't phase me. But now it does. I am constantly thinking about investing for retirement and starting college funds and saving for home improvement projects. Having this dental work done, although I know that it will do wonders for my self esteem, feels like I am frivolously wasting money on vanity. I hate that I am going to be placing such a huge financial burden on my family. Especially since we seem to be barely making ends meet as it is.

But it is now or never. I've already waited too long. So I guess I am going to take this leap, even if it isn't in the best interest of my family. And that my friends, is a tough pill to swallow.

Lessons...

1. Do not have four teeth pulled at one time. What the fuck was I thinking? And how can a doctor do this to a person in good conscience?

2. Do not stop taking your pain medication UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. This may mean that your children will have to fend for themselves for a few days.

3. Do not console yourself with Ben & Jerry's ice cream. You will not be able to chew the gooey brownie pieces or crumbly cookie chunks.

4. Do not expect other people to have sympathy for you. If they can't see the gaping wounds, they will automatically assume that you feel fine.

Any questions? Class dismissed.

I am alive

Other people just don't get it. Especially husbands. They just never seem to understand/comprehend anything. I had four teeth removed on Tuesday. On Wednesday, my husband went back to work. No rest and relaxation for mama. I was taking Vicodin for the pain, but that shit is strong. I literally couldn't keep my eyes open on Wednesday or Thursday. I was a zombie. I barely remember anything from those two days. The good news is that my children are still alive.

On Friday, I didn't take any medication. And it sucked. My jaw was really stiff and the teeth adjacent to the pulled teeth REALLY hurt. I should have asked my husband to take another day off work, but I made it through the day without murdering anyone. Then my husband came home. I was pissy. He was unsympathetic. Not a good combo. His attitude really ticked me off. Additionally, he wouldn't stop fiddling with his ukulele. Finally, the constant background noise started to get under my skin. I asked him to "STOP PLAYING THAT FUCKING GUITAR!" Okay, I might have yelled it. I have to stress the fact that my husband is constantly making noise. He is like a really big 3 year old. He can't sit still. EVER. When I am feeling completely fine, he is annoying. So you can imagine how irritating he can be when I am not feeling good.

Of course, John got all mad and stormed out of the living room. A few minutes later he left the house. Umm...thanks jerk. Just what I always wanted - to be trapped in the house with two whiny children while my head is pounding and my teeth hurt.

He came back with ice cream, which would have been great if he had bought a flavor I actually like. Stupid fucking husband.

Yawn

My surgery went well, but I kind of feel like shit. I have been taking my pain medication every 6 hours, but it makes me nauseous. I am thinking that maybe I should just stop taking the pain meds, because in addition to making me nauseous, they also make me sleepy. Not a good combo while trying to take care of your children.

Can't write. Must sleep.