Tuesday, November 13, 2007


When I was pregnant with Porgie, I bought a cute bassinet. John assembled it, and I lovingly placed the little white slip cover over the frame. I put the bassinet next to my bed, and patiently waited for my little baby to sleep in it.

Then I actually gave birth, and reality began to sink in. After a few short weeks, I realized that Porgie didn't like sleeping in the bassinet. She wanted human contact. She wanted to be cuddled. She wanted to be right next to her mommy. Without much thought, I just started letting her sleep in our bed.

When I told other people about our sleeping arrangement, I began to realize how narrow-minded other people can be. People would make comments about me rolling on top of her, which would NEVER happen. I was always aware of her, even when I was sleeping. People would make comments about the risk of suffocation, which was very unlikely. I banned all comforters from the bed - we only used sheets. Additionally, I placed Porgie at level with my stomach, so pillows weren't really an issue either. People would also make comments about how I would never be able to get her out of our bed. This comment was the most ridiculous, because Porgie has been sleeping in her crib for about 9 months now.

I quickly learned to ignore other people's comments. I was doing what worked for me and my baby. Frankly, it was none of their damn business. With Izzy, I plan on trying the bassinet again, but I am not opposed to co-sleeping. I already know that Izzy will end up in our bed, at least some of the time. The bedrail is in the corner of our bedroom, ready to be installed.


Lainey-Paney said...

There are risks associated w/ co-sleeping, but there are also benefits.

So, you take the risks & benefits & do what you feel comfortable doing.

Don't say NEVER though (I'm superstitious!!!).
And, in my job, I've seen some of the negative aspects of co-sleeping, to parents who thought it would never happen to them.

For us, I nursed during the night, so Lord knows there were certainly times that he & I both fell asleep nursing. I loved the contact, but it also made me nervous. I was always afraid that my husband wouldn't realize the baby was in bed w/ us, and would roll over on him!

But, as a parent, you have to do what you believe to be right for you, your baby, & your family.

Paula said...

That was probably one of the first things that I learned as a new parent...forget about what everyone says and do what is right for you and your baby! If I had listened to them, I would have been a frazzeled mess. In the beginning, the only way I was going to get some sleep was to have Ella in bed with me.

Anth said...

Oh, I hear you! I occasionally co-slept with Baby E when she was really new and people would say the most inane things if I mentioned that fact. Like my husband's friend who was like, "Blah blah blah I've seen 3 babies killed in the past year from their parents rolling on them blah blah blah." (He's a volunteer firefighter.) Of course, upon further questioning, all three parents were DRUNK. Um yeah. I don't sleep with my baby when I'm drunk, retard. I don't even drink. So bleh on him. Like, how is that even relevant to me? So annoying.

Chas said...

I couldn't agree more. I never planned to co-sleep with Lila, but she just wasn't loving the bassinet either, so we did it, and it was good. She went to sleep in her pack n play next to my bed when she was just under a year, and she started in her crib a couple of months later. I love to tell people that when they throw out the "if you let them sleep with you they'll never get them out of your bed." HA!

Sure there are risks w/ co-sleeping, but it's truly not very risky at all. Most of the deaths you hear of due to suffocation in the parents bed are due to one of the parents rolling over on the child b/c they are either drunk or on drugs..not aware enough to realize what they're doing; it's sad but true.

Co-sleeping is something that most cultures find normal, but for some reason our culture has almost made it taboo.

Carrie said...

DH and I haven't talked about what we're going to do. I'm assuming I'll use a crib rather than co-sleep. If I co-sleep, I'd be worried about the dogs. They start on the floor and wind up in bed with us every night. It's not that I think the will hurt a baby intentionally, but I'm afraid one of them would wind up walking on the baby. Shudder.

Eva said...

I actually planned to co-sleep and then it didn't work out. Funny how things go. Anyway, what you said sounds great. I don't care where Izzy sleeps as long as everybody at your house gets some rest.

Eva said...

We totally would have been cosleeping if we only had one. We had many a night where someone would wake up, I'd bring him/her to bed, we'd all fall asleep, and s/he'd stay there until the other woke up, then we'd switch. Not quite the peaceful cosleeping image you imagine.

I'm sure things will work out one way or another with the new baby. Cosleeping, napping, it'll be harder in some ways because you have two, but think of all the experience you will have this time around!

Misguided Mommy said...

yup i just got brandon in his bed about 5 minths ago so you were way ahead of me. i love co sleeping, plus easier to roll over pop a boob in their mouth and pass back out,...once i learned this was my first night of sleep

Mary said...

You said it right: do what's best for you and your child. How can anyone else possibly know what works best for you?

Misguided Mommy said...

there is a reason it is called co sleeping...you are both sleeping!

Rachel said...

Well we did co sleeping un til it no longer wokred for us as a family. But Max did not like the crib or the cradle next to my side. He wanted to be with me and that was fine with me-Oh-the comments-there were so many and even from family-but not my mom. Max was not a sleeper but finally now-at almost 11 months-he sleeps in his crib. Do what it best for you and John. trust me-a happy mom who has slept is better than a mom not sleeping and a baby in the crib. It always made me laugh when people would say that he wa snever going to make it into his bed. You mean he would be 18 in my bed-I used to say that to make people realize they were saying something nutty. lol