Friday, May 30, 2008

Stream of Consciousness: Part 15

As predicted, both of my babies caught John's cold. It didn't seem to adversely affect Porgie, but little Izzy has been miserable. He has been waking up 50 times per night and crying all day long. Because of his sour disposition, I was positive that he had another ear infection. However, the doctor said that his ears looked great. I hope his cold passes quickly, or I am going to go INSANE.

The sidewalk chalk is ruining my life. Porgie asks to go outside to color approximately 722 times per day. When I tell her "no," she has a temper tantrum. Over the past two days, I have had to listen to at least 8 different temper tantrum over that damn chalk. It is enough to drive a sane woman crazy.

I am about to make a test cake for Porgie's birthday party. If you remember last year's test cake, things did not go so well. Wish me luck!

My friend K's little boy drew all over her wallpaper with an ink pen. She decided to clean the wall with carpet stain remover. It didn't clean the ink off the wall, but it did remove the print off the wallpaper. So, now she has blue wallpaper with a big white spot. Oh, and of course the ink pen marks. So, do you have any suggestions to help her clean the mess, without further damaging the wallpaper?

We went to the park this morning, and it was freaking HOT. I fear that summer, with it's sweltering heat and humidity, is returning. I do not like to sweat - especially at 10 am. I need to move to Antarctica or something. Damn stupid summer.

I hate my hair. The color has faded, my layers have grown out, and Izzy thinks it is just another toy to yank on. If it wasn't for society and gender roles, I would just shave my damn head. Hair is overrated.

Izzy is off solids. He was just not cooperating (he didn't want to open his mouth). So, I decided that he isn't ready for solids yet. We'll try again in a few weeks.

Did you know that your toddler can have 452 crayons on the table, and if one is missing, she'll know?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Degrees of Happiness

Kind of happy...

Over the moon happy...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

And all is right with the world...

We finally discovered the problem. Porgie wanted to use her new cullies on paper. After taking a sheet of paper outside and letting her color on it, she eventually moved on to coloring on the sidewalk. She LOVES her new cullies. Actually, when she woke up this morning, the first thing she said was, "Go outside cullie?"

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Cullies disaster

When Izzy woke up from his morning nap, we decided to get some shopping done early. Our first stop was Office Depot. While my husband was hunting for a memory card, I took the kids over to the school supplies section. Porgie was in heaven. Crayons, colored pencils, markers, and chalk lined the walls. She giggled and danced and repeatedly asked for some "cullies" (Porgie calls crayons "cullies"). Since we have a million crayons at home, I decided to buy her some sidewalk chalk. I handed her the bucket of chalk. She had a smile from ear to ear.
She lovingly carried the bucket through the check-out line. She hugged the bucket while we drove to the grocery store. She tucked the bucket under her arm while we did our shopping. Periodically, she would mumbled something about cullies and smile.

When we got home, we let Porgie play in the driveway with her new chalk. She seemed a little upset when John opened the bucket. When he tried to show her how to use the chalk, she flipped out. Hot tears and snot were streaming down her face. She was crying so hard, that John had to carry her inside to calm her down.

Being the asshole that I am, I decided to try again. I asked Porgie if she wanted to go outside and color. She eagerly hopped off of the couch and ran to the back door. I handed her the bucket of chalk, and we headed to the driveway. But when I opened the bucket, another tantrum ensued. After 5 minutes of blood-curdling screams, Porgie asked to go inside to get "night-night."

I am not sure why, but this little episode broke my heart. She was so excited about her new cullies. She waited for over 2 hours to play with them. And they were nothing but a disappointment. Poor baby girl.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Being second best isn't so bad

When Porgie was a baby, she thought that I hung the moon. Everyone paled in comparison to me. Naturally, I thought that Izzy would be head over heels in love with me too. But, he doesn't seem to think that I am very neat. Instead, he thinks that Porgie is the bee's knees. He watches her every move, gives her the biggest smiles, and even imitates her shrieks of joy.

It is beautiful.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Stream of Consciousness: Part 14

We are very busy over here in Cakerwakerville. Next week, I have a follow up appointment with my surgeon, Porgie has her 2 year well visit, and Izzy has his 6 month well visit. The following week we will be celebrating Porgie's 2nd birthday. In addition to her party, I want to take her somewhere fun - like the zoo or the aquarium. The week after that, Porgie and Izzy will have their pictures taken professionally, Porgie will see a pediatric cardiologist, and Izzy will be going back to the GI doctor. When I think about all of our appointments, my head spins.

John is sick. I have been running around the house spraying Lysol on everything he touches. I know that the babies are going to get sick, and it is going to make the next few hectic weeks even HARDER.

Porgie has been having some temper tantrums lately. Up until this point, she has always been a very easy going child. But now, she screams and throws objects on the floor in a fit of rage. It is adorable and annoying all at the same time.

I finally mailed all of those handmade gifts to my blogger friends. Here is a picture of my craftiness...__________

Speaking of craftiness, I am thinking about signing up for a local craft fair. I want to sell scarfs, baby afghans, pot holders, coasters, etc. The only problem is, I am not sure I'll have the time or the energy to make these things. I am still on the fence about whether or not to sign up.

Izzy hasn't been nursing much lately. He is down to about 4 nursing during the day. This wouldn't bother me, except that he only wants to nurse for about 5 minutes at each of these feedings. He is only getting about an ounce of food at lunch time, so I am positive that he is not filling up on solids. Maybe it's teething? I try not to worry because he is such a chunky little guy, but of course, I still worry.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Coke addict

As most of you know, I am on an elimination diet. It is KILLING me. I crave chocolate - milk chocolate to be exact. But I can't have it. I crave ice cream - Chunky Monkey to be exact. But I can't have it. I crave cheese - mozzarella cheese to be exact. But I can't have it.

Because I am being denied of so many of my favorite foods, I have had to find a few new things to take their places. I am now addicted to Coca Cola, cereal bars, and tortilla chips. I don't really mind the cereal bars or the tortilla chips, but the Coke is really bothering me.

When I wake up in the morning, I need a Coke. When th kids go down for a nap, I need a Coke. When I eat dinner, I need a Coke. When the wind blows, I need a Coke.

I realize that Coke is just a bunch of empty calories, and that this addiction is doing nothing to help me lose weight. I realize that all of this extra sugar is horrible for my teeth. I realize that Coke is super expensive, and is making our grocery bill outrageous.

But it just tastes so fucking good! I can't stop drinking it. I am hopeless...


We are not allowed to talk about sleep issues anymore. Apparently, this topic is much too sensitive for me. Although most of the comments I have received since Sunday's post were encouraging, a few have just annoyed the shit out of me. Haven't you people ever heard of the saying "misery loves company?" Misery does not like to hear phrases like, "CIO creates attachment disorders. Science proves it" or "I could never let my baby cry for 30 minutes." I am not attacking the people who wrote these comment. Actually, I respect them for having the courage to say it.

To be honest with you, I really don't care about your stance on using the cry-it-out method. I wasn't writing the post to debate the pros and cons of the issue. I was writing the post to get my feelings into writing, and to move forward with MY plan.

I have probably pissed all of you off. I am sorry internet friends. Feel free to leave a comment telling me what a bitch I am.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Baby Izzy

Izzy will be 6 months old on Friday. Although it feels like he has been in my life forever, I am still shocked at how quickly he is growing and changing. He seems to be forever etched in my mind as a newborn.

This past weekend, Izzy sprouted two new teeth! The only thing that sinks about this situation, is that I now have two children who are teething. Porgie only has 4 more molars to cut, and I think she is working on a few of these as we speak.

Last week we started Izzy on rice cereal. He really seemed indifferent to the whole thing. A few days later, John decided to give him some sweet peas. He really seemed indifferent to the peas too. However, the introduction of solids has really thickened Izzy's poo. I am pretty excited about that.

Speaking of poo, the GI doctor called last week with the results of Izzy's latest round of stool testing. His poo is no longer acidic, but he is spilling even MORE sugars. I was very frustrated when I got the results. I have eliminated dairy, eggs, soy, peanuts, citrus fruits, and tomatoes from my diet, yet he is still allergic to something in my diet. AHHHHH! This guessing game drives me INSANE. But, I will continue eliminating foods, and we will continue the testing.

I think some of you misunderstood me in my last post on sleep. We are not using the cry-it-out method with Izzy yet. I respond to him every time he cries at night. EVERY TIME. I was just saying that if he doesn't fall back to sleep after nursing or rocking, I am putting him in his crib. 99% of the time, he falls asleep while nursing. He has only cried one time, and it only lasted for 20 to 30 minues. Trust me, this is a far cry from CIO.

So, that is the latest with Izzy Whizzy Woo.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Mommy Guilt

I have been feeling a little guilty lately.

As I have mentioned approximately 923 times, my children have trouble sleeping. Porgie was a horrible sleeper until we let her cry it out. I was hopeful that my little Izzy would be a champion sleeper, but he has proven to be an even worse sleeper.

Although the rational part of my brain understands that some children just aren't good sleepers, the crazy part of my brain thinks that his restlessness is my fault. Obviously I am an inadequate mother - right? I know this sounds insane. And it is insane. But at 3 am, the only part of my brain that works, is the crazy part.

Since we unswaddled Izzy, he seems to be sleeping better. In fact, he has only woken up one or twice for the past few nights. I am very excited about this new trend, but I also want to take things a step further. I really want Izzy to learn how to put himself to sleep.

Although I am not ready to let my baby cry-it-out all night long, I have been enforcing a few new rules. Here they are...

1. Bedtime occurs around 7 pm every night.
2. When Izzy wakes up during the night, I respond to him promptly (even if he wakes up every hour or two).
3. If Izzy does not return to sleep after nursing or rocking, I put him in his crib - regardless of whether he is asleep or awake (this means I might have to endure some crying).

We had to endure some crying a few night again. 30 MINUTES OF SCREAMS. The longest thirty minutes of my life. I second guessed myself during the entire episode. Should I let him cry? Does he feel like we abandoned him? He is sick? What if he is teething? Maybe his ears sill hurt? I was able to refrain from going into his bedroom, and he eventually fell back asleep.

Although I know that teaching my baby how to put himself to sleep is an important life skill, I am still feeling a little guilty.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Entertaining the masses

I have really been struggling to come up with entertaining blog fodder. I want to be witty and clever, but all I've got is scorched peas and flat asses. Ugh.

Since I can't seem to think of anything interesting to say, I figured that we could look at some adorable pictures of my offspring. That is always entertaining - right? It's not? Well too bad suckers, this is all you're going to get today.

You're welcome.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Stream of Consciousness: Part 13

My husband has been so damn helpful since my surgery. I have been spoiled. I am not sure I can go back to my old life style.

I have read on several people's blogs that they are getting rid of television. What are you crazy people thinking? This is the year 2008, not 1908! And who is going to babysit your kids? All kidding aside, I am envious that you can function without TV. Unfortunately, we love TV in Cakerwakerville, and I can never envision a time without TV in my household.

We had our furnace and roof replaced this week. I was positive that my children wouldn't sleep. And I was completely wrong. They both took long naps, despite the noise. Apparently, I need to start making more racket during nap time.

I am feeling really good this week. All of my pain is gone, and I have been able to eat a wider variety of foods, without fear of a gallstone attack. THANK GOODNESS! My beans only diet was killing me. I had some gnocchi in marinara sauce tonight. It was wonderful!

For Mother's Day, we went out to eat with both babies. I knew Porgie would be good, but I wasn't so sure about Izzy. The evening was fabulous! Porgie colored during the entire meal, and Izzy happily chewed on a rattle. I was so proud.

And I'll leave you with this...

Monday, May 12, 2008

More proof that I suck at this housewife thing

Remember the post where I confessed to letting water boil until it all evaporated and the pan was scorched black? Well, I decided to take it a step further this time...
The poor, helpless peas. They didn't stand a chance in my kitchen.

Saturday, May 10, 2008


Since writing this post, we have dabbled with solids a few times. Izzy has eaten some banana from a mesh feeder and has had a few spoonfuls of applesauce. Although he enjoyed the banana, he could have lived without the applesauce.

Tonight we tried a teething biscuit. Izzy was in heaven. He excitedly crammed the biscuit into his mouth and smiled. Here is some photographic evidence...
When he finished the biscuit, I attempted to clean him up. Turns out that washcloths are just as scrumptious as teething biscuits...
Contrary to what you might be thinking, the washcloth was soaked in water - not whiskey...

Thursday, May 8, 2008

In this post, I jump around from topic to topic because I have Attention Deficit Disorder

I think removing my gallbladder must have screwed with my brain, because I am having the hardest time getting back to the blogsphere. I keep reading blogs, but not commenting. I keep starting posts, but not finishing them. I am going to blame the percocets. I think they have given me ADD. So, I am forcing myself to sit still for 10 minutes until I finish an entire post. Here goes...

My little Izzy Whizzy Woo is feeling much better. He is actually smiling and laughing, instead of crying. In my experience, ear infections are the worst affliction a child can have. I am so happy that he is returning to a normal state.

Operation "unswaddle" has been going fairly well. Izzy refuses to nap during the day, but oddly enough, he seems to be sleeping better at night. In the past 2 nights, he has only woke up twice. That is pretty amazing for my little guy.

You may be surprised to learn that Porgie will be 2 years old next month. Isn't that CRAZY? I have decided to throw her a little party this year. Because I am a Steve junkie, we will be having a "Blue's Clues" party. I am super excited. We have already purchased "Blue's Clues" plates, cups, hats, banners, and bubbles. Party City was all out of handy dandy notebooks. Needless to say, I will be going back. Because I am completely insane, I was thinking about trying to find some khakis and a green striped shirt for Porgie to wear on her birthday. How cute would that be? Just in case you were wondering, you are definitely invited to the party. I know that flying to New Jersey will be expensive, but my awesome "Blue's Clues" decorations will make it worth the expense.

I am feeling good today. I have four small incisions on my belly from the operation, but the only cut that really hurts is the one located directly above my bellybutton. Ouch! So sensitive.

And back to the percocets. I took percocets after I had Porgie and Izzy, but with this surgery, they make me feel loopy. What is up with that?

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Gallbladder be gone

The night before my surgery was very nice. We ate at a little Mexican restaurant, put both babies to sleep around 7:30, and spent the rest of the night relaxing in front of the TV. I went to bed at 10:00. Around Midnight, I woke up with a horrible pain in my ribcage. I spent the next 4 hours writhing in pain. Yes, I had a damn gallstone attack on the night before my surgery. What are the odds?

I got to the hospital around 10:00 am the next morning, eager and ready to have my damn gallbladder extracted from my body. The surgery went well. I woke up in pain and vomiting, but otherwise everything went well. I was in recovery for a long time, because I was so damn nauseous.

When the sickness finally passed, I asked to use the restroom. I REALLY had to pee. But when I got to the bathroom, I just couldn't urinate. I tried and tried, but I couldn't pee. The nurse explained that being unable to urinate is a common side effect of surgery. They performed an ultrasound of my bladder, and informed me that they would have to put in a catheter. I pleaded with the nurse to let me try to pee again, and she consented. After much effort and praying, I finally peed. THANK GOD! After a few more hours in stage 2 recovery, I was discharged. I got home around 7:00 pm, just in time to kiss my babies and put them to bed.

Today I am feeling pretty good. I have been taking my percocet every four hours to stay on top of the pain. John has been wonderful. He has basically done everything for me and the kids. As I type this, he is at the park with the babies. I am a lucky girl.

In other news, Izzy has been a fussy little guy lately. This past weekend he cried almost nonstop. I knew something was wrong. John took him to the pediatrician yesterday, and he was diagnosed with an ear infection. Poor little baby.

And also, my husband has taken it upon himself to wean Izzy off of the swaddle. The child has only napped for 30 minutes today. It has been a traumatic experience.

Friday, May 2, 2008

I just want to waste a few minutes of your time.

This will be the last post for a few days. I plan to be back in business by Tuesday, because what else am I going to do while I am recovering from surgery? So, I am expecting all of you to write some brilliant and witty posts for my entertainment. Don't let me down internet friends!

I always think of great blog posts in the middle of the night or while I am grocery shopping or even while I am changing a poopy diaper. I will run to the computer and type a sentence or two, so I won't forget my idea. Except, I always forget my idea. As a result, I have about 15 posts that are in the "draft" stage. Most of them are strange little tidbits, and I have no idea where I was going with the post. Here are a few examples...

Post # 1 titled "Boys"
My baby boy likes to grab his penis and pull it REALLY hard. Honestly, I think he is trying to stretch it all the way to his mouth. This greatly disturbs my husband.

I guess that was the whole story? Maybe I decided that it just wasn't long enough to post.

Post # 2 titled "NO NO NO NO NO"
Porgie says the word "no" with such strength and gusto, that

I can only imagine where this was headed. I envision the words "I want to slap her" finishing that sentence.

Post # 3 titled "Motherhood"
Since having my babies, I have learned many things about being a mother. Some of the lessons have been wonderful, while others have been very unpleasant.

I actually remember this one. I was going to do a HILARIOUS post on the funny things I have learned from motherhood. But, I just couldn't think of anything funny to say. I am a dork.

Post # 4 titled "Denial"
Izzy is already 3 months old! Can you believe that? He is turning into one of those adorable bouncing babies. It is a beautiful thing, my friends. He laughs and smiles and makes my life complete. As I have watched his personality

I love how I just stopped writing this post mid-sentence and never went back to finish it. I guess I decided that Izzy wasn't that neat after all.

Peace out homies!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

A shout out to my peeps

I have received quite a few blog awards in the last month or so. Somehow, I haven't gotten the chance to post about them, so here goes...

Rachel awarded me with this little beauty...

Dana gave me this gem...

And Marni graciously awarded me with...
Getting an award is always fun, and getting three awards is just AWESOME. I usually give all awards to people on my blogroll. However, I have been reading lots of new blogs lately, so I thought it would be fun to venture outside of my little blog and award some new people. I know that many people just skip the award posts if they are not recognized as a recipient, but if you have a few minutes, you should click over and check out some of these new blogs. Who knows, you might find your BBF (best blog friend).


Two blogs that I find exceptionally well written are...
Katydidnot and While the Baby Sleeps...


Since this award is super cute, I am going to award two very cute blogs...
Lifelong Playdate and Marni's Organized Mess


Going with the butterflies in the belly theme, these two blogs have buns in the oven...
Missy Marshmallow and Southern Bella

If the recipients would like to post the award on their blog, and nominate a few other blogs, that is wonderful. If not, that is okay too. Just know that I think you're great.