Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Whipping my fat ass into shape

In 2010, I buckled down and lost a lot of weight.  To celebrate my success, I bought myself some new clothes.  In December of that year, I found out that I was pregnant with Guppy.  In a few short months, my new clothes no longer fit.  Then I had a baby and gained a little more weight, so those new clothes continued to not fit.  But this week I finally managed to get into my pre-pregnancy jeans. I strutted around today in my cute jeans, feeling very proud of myself.

Even though I can now fit into my old clothes, I am still not back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I have about 10 more pounds to lose.  Honestly, I don't think I'll ever make it back to that magical number.  And if I do make it there, I have no illusions that I can maintain it.  I've been sitting at this weight for about 3 weeks now.  At first I was disappointed that I wasn't seeing results anymore.  But that feeling has started to fade, and I am currently feeling pretty happy with my body.

So, I am looking forward to the fall and finally getting to wear those cute clothes I bought way back in 2010. 

Friday, September 13, 2013


This has been a crazy week.   I hate when things get hectic and chaotic.  I like my life routine and simple and boring.  My husband was out-of-town all week, which added an additional layer of craziness to the mix.  I purposely over-scheduled the week with play-dates and school stuff, in the hopes that it would make the days fly by.  All I accomplished was running myself to the point of exhaustion and putting myself in a foul mood.

In addition to being overambitious this week, I have been experiencing some sleep deprivation too.  I've been having soooooo much troubling falling asleep at night.  I am not really sure what the problem is, but I have a few theories.  I am a worrier by nature, so all this car crap has been stressing me out.  Additionally, Izzy has been going through this annoying phase where he needs constant reassurance and will not let me out of his sight for even 2 seconds.  This also stresses me out.  And then there are a million other little reasons too.  I actually wrote this overly dramatic post last night, but right before I went to publish it, I somehow deleted it.  I took that as a sign, and decided not to rewrite it.

So, this weekend I am going to be a hermit.  After a period of being social and active, I need time to decompress.  I just want to stay inside and not answer my phone and read a book.  I cannot tell you how good it feels to get all of the noise out of my head and to relax.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Forced to move into the modern age

Our minivan was a 2001, which we bought used in 2007.  For the last 6 years, it has been a reliable car, with tons of space for our growing family.  Unfortunately, this summer everything went to shit.  Over the last 3 months, we spent about $1,200 to keep it running (ugh).  But having it towed twice in one week pushed me over the edge.  I didn't even feel comfortable driving the damn thing anymore.   I was convinced that it was going to die somewhere, and I'd be stranded far from home with my 3 children. 

So, John and I decided to purchased a new (used) vehicle...

It is a 2012.  I LOVE the gray color.  It has a built in DVD player, a rear back-up camera, satellite radio, dual power sliding doors, etc.  In short, it is very fancy.  I feel all modern and shit.

We ended up going with another Grand Caravan, because the price was awesome.  We weren't intending to get a new car right now, so price was a big issue for us.  I actually feel a little sick to my stomach just thinking about the car payments.  I hate having debt.  I am hoping we can have it paid off in about a year and a half. 

Although I love my new van, I am sad that other projects we were going to start this fall are being put on hold.  We can no longer afford to start work on the 1/2 bath in the basement.  We were also going to have some dieing trees in our backyard cut down, but that is going to have to wait too.

In summary, I am excited about my new van, but sad about my new debt.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Pity Party

I have bad luck.  John has bad luck.  Together, we are a shit storm of bad luck.

On Monday, there was torrential rain in New Jersey.  For hours, it poured buckets.  And to my dismay, we got some water in our basement.  Not a ton, but enough to get the new playroom carpet wet.  I spent a lot of time soaking water up with towels and emptying the dehumidifier.  It was not a great way to start the day.

After lunch, John noticed that our van had a flat tire.  GRRRR.  He drove the van to the repair shop, but there was a long wait.  He didn't want to wait in the shop for hours, so he decided to walk back home in the rain.

At this point, I was starting to get a little crabby.  Everything seemed to be going wrong.  But then the sun came out, the kids went swimming, and John fired up the grill.  I thought that maybe we could salvage the day.  And then one of my dental crowns popped off. MOTHERFUCKER!

On Tuesday, John had to go back to the doctor because he keeps getting reoccurring sore throats.  He had strep in July, but he just can't seem to kick it.  He is now on his third round of antibiotics.

When poor, sick John got home from work, I had to rush out the door to have my dental crown repaired.  Except that when I got outside, I realized that my van was dead.  It would not even attempt to start.  John thought it was the battery and tried to jump it, but no dice.  We had to call a tow truck.

On Wednesday night, we finally got our car back (it was the starter). YAY!  I was so relieved to have my vehicle back. But that sensation was short-lived, because on Thursday morning my van was dead again.   What the fuck world?  Why do you insist on screwing me over?  The repair shop sent over a guy to look at it, but he couldn't figure it out, so we had to have it towed AGAIN.

It was been a rough week, and I am eagerly looking forward to putting it all behind me.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Update on the children

My baby boy is 2 years old.  I know that he didn't magically become a big kid overnight, but it honestly feels that way. Where has all the time gone?  Why he is saying so many new words?  When did he start watching television?  It is so damn bittersweet watching a baby grow up.

Guppy is a mama's boy.  He loves me fiercely and wholeheartedly.  And I love him so much it hurts.  Since his birth, I have been keenly aware that he may be our last baby.  As a result, I seem to mourn each passing milestone more intensely than I did with the other children.  It is hard being his mommy, because I just want to make sure I soak it all in, but that is really impossible.  No matter how hard I try, time just keeps slipping through my fingers.

I really can't explain his adorable little personality to you, but he is the sweetest toddler I've ever met.  I know I am bias, but truly, he is an amazing kid.  I am so lucky to have him in my world.  Seriously, if you could hear the way he meows, your heart would explode from all the adorableness.

Izzy is 5 years old and getting ready to start Kindergarten.  We went through a rough patch for about a year (from age 3 to about age 4), and it was hard to parent my wayward middle child.  He has a temper and is quick to action.  It was hard to set boundaries and to discipline him.  Nothing seemed to work, and I often found myself feeling like an inadequate mother.  Why was I struggling to get Izzy to comply with the simplest requests?  But then something amazing happened.  Most parents won't admit this, but video games helped my child. 

We implemented a behavior chart, with a reward of playing video games.  Izzy gets a sticker every night at bedtime.  When he gets 5 stickers, he can play video games for 3 hours.  Izzy can lose his rewards stickers at anytime and for any reason, but usually he loses them for failing to comply with a request the first time he is asked.  But I have to admit, introducing video games into the equation has made a world of difference in my son.  It is a HUGE motivator for him.  I can count on him to behave 90% of the time. It is amazing, and I am so proud of the progress he has made over the past year.

Porgie is now 7 years old and getting ready for 2nd grade. She is a typical first-born child.  She is eager to please, has perfectionist tendencies, and strives for approval from mom and dad.  She is also incredibly smart.  I am not one of those parents who thinks that all of her children are delicate geniuses, but I have to admit that my daughter is certainly more academically inclined than most other kids her age.  The girl loves school work and learning.  Her hobbies include reading, completing workbooks, and making crafts.

On the other hand, my daughter has a tendency to be a bit scatterbrained.  She will sometimes put on two different shoes (without realizing it), she frequently puts her clothes on backwards (without realizing it), and she would lose her head if it wasn't attached to her. 

Porgie is also a very optimistic person.  She pretty much thinks that everything is AWESOME.  She reminds me of Sue from The Middle...

 She is a great kid, and it is so much fun to be her mom.  I honestly don't know how I got so lucky. 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Do you like Coco Krispies?

In April, I gave up soda and ice cream in an effort to slim down.  I had gained about 30 pounds since Guppy was born, which was just ridiculous.  Who gains weight AFTER the baby is born?  I am ass backwards. 

I've managed to shed about 35 pounds, which is all kinds of awesome, but now comes the super duper hard part for me - maintenance.  When I am losing weight, I have a goal that I am constantly striving toward.  Although I hate depriving myself of sugar, it is fairly easy for me to stay on track when I am motivated.  The hard part for me is maintaining the weight loss.

When I reach my goal weight, I don't go hog-wild and eat whatever I want, but overtime I always end up reverting back to my old habits.  One can of pop won't hurt - right?  I am just going to eat ice cream this one time.  I think I'll have a small bowl of cereal.  And thus begins my downward spiral into fatness.  I have a serious sweet tooth.  And once I start eating a little sugar, I tend to go overboard.  For example, I love Coco Krispies.  LOVE THEM!  But I cannot have that cereal in the house, because I will eat half of the damn box in one morning.  I will literally refill my bowl 3 damn times.

Basically, there is no middle road with me.  It is all or nothing.  When am I going to learn how to behave like a healthy person?  Apparently never.  I read on another blog that maintaining a weight is hard, because it is like running a race with no finish-line.  I think that pretty much sums up why I struggle to stay at a healthy weight.  I eventually get tired of running.