Precious

Pies

I love baking.  It relieves stress, distracts me when I am having a bad day, and of course, my creations taste yummy. This past month I baked quite a few new pies.  Some were a hit.  Some were not.

First up was a chocolate pudding pie.  This pie was good, but kind of boring. 

Next I made a Manhattan Mud Pie.  OH MY GOODNESS, this was a good pie.  It was chocolatey and boozy and gooey and soooooooo delicious.  We ate it with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.  Heavenly.

Finally, I tried my hand at a vegan pecan pie.  Several things went wrong with this recipe.  I was missing ingredients, I overcooked the caramel, and I was talking on the phone while baking (never a good idea).  Even though the odds were against me, I thought I had pulled it off.  But I didn't.  It was awful.  AWFUL.  I never knew a pie could taste that bad.

This week I plan on making a strawberries and cream pie, which I've made in the past but never shared with you.  It isn't vegan, so I am sure lots of you will want to give it a try (it has no weird ingredients, like agar powder and tofu).  I'll make sure to include the recipe.

You don't have to tell me. I already know.

I know I bitch about sleep a lot.  And really, it is my own fault.  I feel very ambivalent about all things baby related.  Guppy is most likely going to be my last baby.  Knowing that I will never have a wee little baby again is really difficult for me to accept.   So I am stuck in baby limbo.  I am afraid to move forward.

Yes, I want to get more sleep, and co-sleeping obviously isn't working.  But I want to cuddle with my co-sleeping baby for as long as possible, because I might never get to feel a peach fuzzy head rubbing against my cheek at 3am ever again.

Yes, I want to teach my baby how to self-soothe.  But I also love nursing my baby off to sleep.  Nothing is sweeter than watching his little eyes flutter shut, while I rub his little head.  Just thinking about it makes me want to go nurse him.  And I know this special time is so very brief.  I just want to enjoy it before it is gone.

Forgive me for complaining, dear readers.  I am frustrated and tired, but I am also so head-over-heels in love with having a baby.  Things probably aren't going to change overnight.  I am probably going to bitch about sleep again (and again).  But just bare with me.  We'll get there eventually.