Sunday, December 30, 2007

sleep and stuff

Porgie is back to her old self again, so the mood in our house has taken a sudden turn for the better. I guess having a toddler cry and whine for endless hours can really grate on your nerves. Anyways, we are all feeling happier and healthier!

Now, let's move on to my favorite topic - sleep. Izzy is a manic at night. I swear my child wakes up to breastfeed at least 6 times per night. Last night we went to bed at 10:00. He woke up at 12:30, 2:00, 3:30, 4:00, 6:00, and was up for the day at 8:00. Maybe co-sleeping isn't for little Izzy. I think I am waking him with my movements, and then he wants to nurse to get back to sleep. So, I am considering trying the bassinet again.

The reason co-sleeping is so nice, is because I don't have to move him to the bassinet, while praying that he doesn't wake up. But if it means more sleep, I think I might give it a try again. I feel like a damn zombie. And the headaches. Oh, the headaches.

And to any of my readers who don't have children or who have children who are excellent sleepers, please do not ask a severely sleep deprived mommy if her 5 week old is sleeping through the night yet. She might lunge across the table and strangle you. Seriously.

Other than sleep issues, things have been going pretty smoothly lately. I LOVE the Christmas season this year because all of the holidays fell on weekdays. So, that means the John gets four paid holidays off in a mere 2 weeks. Very nice.

Our neighbors invited us to a little New Year's Eve party tomorrow. We are probably going to take the kids over for a while. I fear taking my babies around other people, because I don't want them to be sick anymore. But I can't stay in the house forever, so we will go and be social.

So what are you doing for New Years?

Friday, December 28, 2007

Its enough to make me consider running away

Porgie apparently has Roseola. She is still refusing food, but her fussiness has significantly decreased. Instead of crying for 7 hours a day, she only cries for 5 hours a day. Lucky me! The scariest part of Porgie's recent illnesses, is the weight loss. Her ribs are protruding, and her size 4 diapers are too big. See that chubby little girl on the side bar? Those fat rolls are a distant memory. Makes me want to cry.

Unfortunately, Izzy is now sick too. He has a stuffy nose and a very sad little cough. It is very hard for him to breastfeed, because he he can't breathe out of his little nose. He has also been crying excessively too, but not nearly as much as Porgie.

I think John is depressed. He has been working long hours for months, and its beginning to take its toll on him. He is grumpy and irritable most of the time. This is typical behavior for me, but very strange for John. He is usually a very happy person. I don't know how to help him.

Porgie, Izzy, and I were invited to a playdate today. I was really looking forward to getting out of the house, and letting Porgie play with other children. Of course, I had to cancel because of my very ill children.

Life kind of sucks ass right now.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Sick again

Somehow, Porgie is sick again. I have no idea how she got sick - we have only left the house 1 time in a freaking month. But, nonetheless, she is sick again.

It all started Saturday night. John was giving her a bath, and she started shaking. He thought she was cold, so he got her out of the water. Porgie continued to shiver and shake for about 15 minutes. When the shaking subsided, I sat down to read her a few stories before bed. Porgie rested her little head against my chest, and I could tell she was hot. She had a temperature of 100 degrees. I gave her some Tylenol and put her to bed.

The next morning, Porgie woke up with a fever of 102. Her temperature stayed high for most of the day, and she refused to eat anything. Also, she was quite miserable. She walked around crying for the majority of the day.

On Monday, Porgie woke up with a fever, refused to eat, and continued to cry all morning. John took her to the doctor's office, and they said she merely had a sore throat. For the rest of the day, Porgie cried and cried and cried. She was so sad and miserable.

On Tuesday, Porgie woke up screaming. About 15 minutes after she woke up, she curled up on the floor and sucked her thumb. I picked her up and held her. She fell asleep on my lap - which NEVER happens. I knew she was really, really ill. Porgie spent the rest of Christmas vomiting and crying.

This morning, Porgie woke up crying again. I thought we were going to have a repeat of yesterday, but I was wrong. In addition to her fever, loss of appetite, and fussiness, Porgie now has a rash on her face, stomach, and back.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Scrapes and Accidents and Gas, oh my

I decided to take Porgie outside to play in the yard Thursday. Of course, she only wanted to run on the sidewalk. She bent over to pick up a stick, and ended up falling face first onto the concrete. Poor little Porgie scrapped up her forehead and nose. She looks very sad now.

My husband decided to buy a bottle of wine to drink on Thursday night. He ended up drinking WAY TOO MUCH, and was in the bathroom vomiting by 11:00 pm. He got up for work at 4:00 am on Friday, and ended up getting in an accident later that day. I feel bad for him. I know he is stressed and overworked, and this is only going to add to his woes (he was driving his company vehicle).

Izzy seems to be suffering from some severe gas problems. He grunts and farts and arches his back in pain. It is very sad to watch him suffer. I have been offering Mylicon and Gripe Water, but nothing seems to help. He was crying so inconsolably on Friday morning that I called the pediatrician's office. They basically said its completely normal. How is crying in pain completely normal?

Friday, December 21, 2007


Since Izzy's birth, I haven't really discussed Porgie - except to complain. But in reality, she is what keeps me going, even though I am exhausted and weary and overwhelmed. So this post is going to be all about my beautiful baby girl.

We had Porgie's 18 month appointment a few weeks ago. It didn't go very well. Porgie lost a pound since her 15 month appointment, which worries me - of course. Then, the doctor listened to her heart murmur, and decided that Porgie needs to be seen by a cardiologist. AHHH! Although the murmur still sounds "innocent," the doctor is worried because it has been persistent since she was born. So, now I have to take her for chest x-rays and to see a heart specialist. I am probably going to have a heart attack before Porgie even visits the cardiologist.

On the language front, Porgie is learning lots of new words. Although it is kind of disturbing, she can now say "Elmo," "Ernie," and "Oscar" (What? She only watches 18 hours of TV a day) . She looks at our Christmas tree and exclaims, "So pretty!" Whenever Porgie is eating she says, "Mmmmmm" and "Yummy," regardless of whether or not she actually likes the food. Because she is destined to be a super star, Porgie has also started singing. She knows three songs - the "la la la la la" chorus from a Seasame Street song, "e-i-e-i-o" from Old McDonald, and "Yummy, yummy, yummy" from a mommy made song (I am very talented. I make up lots of retarded songs for Porgie's listening pleasure).

Porgie also has a new best friend. His name is Night-night. He is a pink blanket, who has been tied into two knots (I have no idea why I ALWAYS refer to her PINK blanket as a male). She frigging loves her blanket, and cries for him ALL the time. When Porgie used to get hurt, she cried for mommy. Now she cries for Night-night. Enough said.

Porgie has started imitating everything we do. She tries to brush her hair, put on her shoes, take her own temperature, turn over the Diaper Champ, etc. It is very cute to watch her try, in vain, to accomplish these tasks.

Of course, with the good comes the bad. Porgie has discovered the art of throwing a tantrum. She isn't terrible or overly dramatic, but she has been throwing a fit when I don't do what she wants me to do - like turn on her Baby Einstein video for the one billionth time. She will actually throw the remote at me (which usually ends up hitting Izzy). In turn, I find myself speaking to her in a harsh tone. It is hard for me to redirect her attention, because I usually have a baby attached to my boob. So, we are working on this one. Any suggestions?

In a nutshell, my baby is growing and developing and becoming her own little person. Porgie is changing so quickly, its hard for me to even keep track of the amazing things she does. I feel like she has offically left babyhood, and is quickly approaching childhood. Where did all the time go?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


Do you like schedules? I LOVE LOVE LOVE schedules. Porgie was a wacky baby, and it was hard to get her on a predictable schedule. Around 4 months of age, she finally settled into a more predictable routine, taking 3 short naps per day. Life instantly improved in my household.

I am already looking forward to Izzy establishing a schedule of his own. I hate never knowing when he will sleep or eat. Honestly, it makes me never want to leave the house. Although I am all for breastfeeding, I hate breastfeeding in public. And I never have time to pump. So, I never leave the house.

Porgie brings me her shoes and cries until I put them on her. Then she brings me my shoes, and she tries to put them on for me. Its very sweet, but its also a little disturbing. My child is so bored, she is practically begging me to leave the house.

And I need to leave the house. Some days, the walls feel like they're closing in on me. I feel trapped.

So, schedule or no schedule, I am going to leave the house today.

Monday, December 17, 2007

I want to slap someone

This is the post where I whine and complain about how hard my life is, and you just roll your eyes and ignore me.

My children are driving me INSANE. Last night, Izzy was up every hour to feed. Then, Porgie woke up at 5:30 this morning. Obviously I wasn't going to get up at 5:30, so I let her cry. She whined for 2 HOURS. Finally, I just turned the monitor down, and went back to sleep. I woke up at 8:30, and Porgie was sound asleep in her crib. I got her up and changed her diaper, even though I really wanted to go back to sleep. I did all of this in an effort to keep her on her regular schedule, so I wouldn't have to endure any screaming.

A few minutes later Izzy woke up. We all played together for about 2 hours. Around 10:30, Izzy wanted to nurse. I could tell he was sleepy, so I put on one of Porgie's videos so she wouldn't be too noisy while he nursed.

After nursing for about 20 minutes, he was sound asleep. I slowly got up and inched over to the swing, but suddenly Porgie started shrieking for her cup of water. Izzy woke up and started screaming. I got Porgie her water, and sat down to nurse Izzy on the other side. After 20 minutes of nursing, he was sound asleep. I slowly got up and inched over to the swing, but suddenly Porgie started screaming for her blanket. AHHH! Once again, Izzy woke up crying.

I seriously wanted to slap Porgie. Instead, I decided to put her down for a nap. I put Izzy in the swing SCREAMING, and I took Porgie into her bedroom. I read one story, and put her fussy little butt in the crib. Of course, she started SCREAMING. I shut the door, and went back to get Izzy. He still screaming frantically.

I sat down on the couch, with one baby screaming in my arms and another baby screaming two rooms away. Awful morning. Awful.

After crying for 30 minutes, Porgie finally fell asleep. After nursing for 30 more minutes, Izzy finally fell asleep.

Being a mommy is tough.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

I can't stop talking about boobs

Porgie is sick. Really sick. She has been coughing so hard, she vomits. She coughs so hard, she wakes me up at night. She coughs so hard, she wakes Izzy up from his naps. I feel so bad for her. Due to our recent encounters with sinus and ear infections, I decided to take her to the doctor's office yesterday. Turns out it is just a cold - no ear infections, no sinus infections, and no strep throat.

I am kind of worried about this particular cold, because Porgie keeps coughing on her little brother. She likes to give him hugs and kisses, and I don't want to discourage her newfound love of Izzy. I know that she is going to give him her cold, and he is just too little to be sick already.

In other news, we have introduced the bottle to Izzy. On Thursday, I tried to give him a bottle of breastmilk, without much luck. He refused to suck on the nipple, and just ended up crying. Last night, John gave Izzy another bottle of breastmilk. John was successful in his attempt, and Izzy drank 2 oz from the bottle. I wanted to pump a few more ounces this morning, but Izzy nursed every hour. So, I guess I am not going to pump.

Izzy is still nursing frantically. He just never seems to be full. It makes me worry about my supply. At his last appointment Izzy weighed 10lb 5 oz, so I have to have a decent supply - right? Ack. I am so sick of talking about breastfeeding, but once again, it has consumed my life. I promise, this is the last post about breastfeeding for a while. I feel like I am alienating some of readers, and that sucks.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


So, I have been feeling a little melancholy lately. I guess it is just the baby blues and sleep deprivation. I am at the point where it feels like my life will never be good again. Too much work. Too much stress. But I know that things will change. My babies will get older and things will get easier. And I'll sleep again someday, right?

I am thinking about chronicling a night with Izzy on my blog. He is the most wakeful baby. I think you'll be shocked by his eating habits at night. I know I am. He feeds so much at night, that I was starting to doubt my milk supply. So, I decided to pump yesterday. I got 3 ounces! I was super excited, because when I started pumping with Porgie I got less than an ounce. But apparently 3 ounces isn't enough for Izzy, because my little baby nursed ALL NIGHT again.

This might be a bad plan, but I was thinking about pumping, and feeding him a bottle before bedtime tonight. If I could feed him a big 6 ounces bottle, maybe I could get more than 30 minutes of continuous sleep. What do you think? Is it too early to introduce the bottle? He will be three weeks old on Friday. I probably shouldn't do it, but the prospect of sleep is so appealing.

And these photos are for Shannon...

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Boys are different

I am used to little girls. Everything I know about babies, I learned from Porgie. Although she was an excellent teacher, she completely failed to prepare me for having a little boy.

Things Izzy has already taught me...

1. Little boys pee all over the freaking place. Every damn time I try to change his diaper, he pees. And it goes everywhere - on the changing table, on the curtains, on his clothes,and even on mommy. He also pees out of his diaper ALL THE TIME. Every time I pick my baby up, he is drenched in piss. This is very frustrating because I change his diaper approximately 56 times per day.

2. Little boys love nursing. Izzy always wants to eat. No matter how long he just fed, he will always accept more boob. In fact, I can't hold him without having him frantically mouth on his hands.

3. Little boys are very hard to change. Poopy diapers just got a whole lot more complicated. Not only do I have to clean is butt, but now I also have to clean all around his little "equipment." This carries the added bonus of being pissed on AGAIN.

4. Little boys are much calmer then little girls. Izzy will sit in the swing - without crying! Izzy will sit in his bouncy seat - without crying! However, Izzy has drawn the line with the bassinet. He SCREAMS whenever I lay him down in that damn bassinet. We are already co-sleeping. FYI - bassinets are for suckers. Don't waste your money.


John is going back to work on Monday, and I am terrified. Holy crap, I am going to have to take care of two babies. And I have to be able to do all of this on approximately 3 hours on sleep each night. Dear God, I need a nanny.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Any advice?

Izzy has his days and nights mixed up, and its killing me. He sleeps so peacefully all day and is incredibly restless at night. I have been waking him up every two hours during the day. When I can manage to get his sleepy little eyes open, I try to keep him entertained and awake for about an hour. Although I thought that this plan would produce effective results, I have yet to see many changes in his sleep patterns.

At night, he wants to nurse excessively. I will feed him, and he'll happily drift off to sleep. As soon as I lay him down, he is whining and crying to nurse again. Its very frustrating. I have tried to nurse Izzy in the side-lying position, but we just can't seem to figure it out. Either I am uncomfortable, and he is latched or I am comfortable, and he keeps popping off.

So, I need some advice. How do you master the side-lying position? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I need some sleep.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

I don't want to complain but...

Sorry for the delay in getting back to blogging, but things have been a little crazy over here. Because I literally do not have the energy to write a long summary of the past two weeks, I am going to create a list instead.

1. Friday, November 23 - I had my scheduled c-section at 7:30 am. Izzy was born at 7:48 am. The doctors were shocked by his enormous size. Otherwise, he was the picture of health. After the surgery, I was wheeled to recovery, and Izzy was wheeled to the nursery. An hour later, I was in my room, ready to hold my baby. When the nurse brought him in, she explained that they had already fed him formula. I was pretty pissed. But my baby was BEAUTIFUL. Perfect in every little way.

2. Saturday, November 24 - Izzy quickly caught on to the whole nursing thing, and he nursed ALL NIGHT LONG. I am not exaggerating. He nursed continuously from 10 pm to 5 am. I was exhausted.

3. Sunday, November 25 - My milk came in, and Izzy finally settled down for some sleep.

4. Monday, November 26 - I got to come home from the hospital. The nurses on staff were incompetent and made the process very difficult.

5. Tuesday, November 27 - My mother went back to Kentucky. Surprisingly, she did a good job of caring for Porgie, but I was happy to see her go. I wanted to spend some time alone with my little family.

6. Wednesday, November 28 - I was fairly constipated during my entire pregnancy. After my surgery, I was even more constipated. On this day, the pressure to use the bathroom became overwhelming. I was in so much pain. I had John running to the store for laxatives and prune juice. It was a long and painful process, but I finally managed to use the restroom. THANK GOD.

7. Thursday, November 29 - I had my staples removed. YIKES! I didn't remember it being so painful.

8. Friday, November 30 - We took Izzy for his one week check-up. He had regained his birth weight, plus two more ounces. I was ecstatic. I still can't believe that breastfeeding has been so easy this time around.

9. Saturday, December 1 - I developed a sore throat and a cough. Yes, I am sick. Have you ever tried coughing after having abdominal surgery? NO FUN.

10. Sunday, December 2 - Izzy has his days and nights mixed up. The sleep deprivation begins to catch up with me, and so do the baby blues. I find myself crying for no particular reason. Well, actually there were lots of reasons, but I am not in the mood to discuss them.

11. Monday, December 3 - Finally, an uneventful day. Things have been fairly calm and peaceful since the beginning of the week.

I know that this post sounds like one big complaint, but really it is not. John has been a wonderful source of support and help. Porgie has been giving Izzy hugs and kisses all day. She really loves her little brother. And the baby has been fairly easygoing (except at night).

Overall, it has been a crazy, but joyful two weeks. I am happy with my little family and couldn't ask for anything more.

Enough about me, here are some pictures of my beautiful babies...

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Izzy Update

I can't believe it, but I have two children. I am sorry for the silence, but I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. I just wanted to do a quick update to let everyone know that we are doing well - especially little Izzy. He has already regained his birth weight plus two more ounces! He is such a little chunker.

I will do a real post in a few days, with PICTURES!