It is official, my baby is becoming an independent little person. She has been passionately refusing both the spoon and the bottle. When a spoon comes near her mouth, she eagerly slaps it away. When I try to feed her a bottle, she takes a few sips and pushes it out of her mouth with both hands.
Being the dim witted person that I am, I was certain that she was just sick. I continued to offer the bottle and pureed foods on a regular basis, despite the fact that she wasn't eating or drinking anything. With each skipped meal, I was becoming more and more anxious. On Saturday, I even cried at one point because Porgie refused to eat all day long - no bottle and no food. She managed to surivive off of a few sips of water from her sippy cup.
I know it is ridiculous, but I even started feeling angry. I was pissed because she was being so damn difficult. I just wanted to scream, "EAT SOMETHING, YOU LITTLE SHIT." Fortunately, I was able to maintain my cool. Instead, I just stomped around the house bitching and moaning.
Saturday night, I decided to finally hand over the reins. I put Porgie in her highchair with various finger foods and walked away. Of course I stayed in the same room, but I didn't watch her. I just let her eat whatever she managed to put in her mouth. Honestly, I can't watch her feed herself, because I'll start analyzing how much she is actually eating.
So now all meal times are finger foods only. I am already running out of food ideas - any suggestions? Remember, we are vegetarians. Things we have tired include: garden burgers, peas, various noodles, smart dogs, bread, crackers, cheerios, waffles, squash, and bananas.
The bottle is still a struggle. I guess I should just make the switch to the sippy cup. I have been avoiding the switch because Porgie still has trouble drinking from the cup. She just doesn't tilt it back far enough. So, I have to keep offering her drinks. Needless to say, it takes her forever to drink from the sippy cup.
Why is it so hard for me to accept change? Most parents would be thrilled about the easy transition to finger foods and sippy cups. Yet for some reason, I am not happy. I feel helpless. I no longer have control over what she eats. All I can do is offer her food and hope for the best.
I think most of my fears about her eating habits stem from our struggle with breastfeeding. I am terrified that, once again, the doctors are going to tell me that my baby isn't thriving.
It is time to let go of these fears. It is time for Porgie to practice her independence. It is time for me to stop obsessing about what she eats.
6 comments:
I've struggled with the eating, too. You're not alone - welcome to motherhood! ;-) My kid eats a variety, but somedays it's such a small amount. I read/heard somewhere to focus on what they eat over several DAYS, not just in one day. My kid tends to eat like a champ one day, then hardly anything the next. We drink the enhanced Silk soymilk which is just loaded with minerals and vitamins - we mix it with Yoyo baby drinkable yogurt. This enables me to sleep at night, quite frankly because I know he is getting nutrients and the high fat. Sigh.
It sounds like you are going in a good direction with the finger foods and are doing a good job at reading her personality and working WITH her - instead of fighting it. Did you include rice and cous cous? Our kid loves both. We are not vegetarians, but I LOVE the Boca and Morning Star products.
Also, I could never get my kid to use a sippy cup. I gave up and he uses a strawed cup. I use the Playtex one because the others have valves in them. Sure, they are spill-proof, but it requires so much suction - just like a sippy cup that it was pointless. I recommend experimenting. Target's Circo brand has a strawed cup that works pretty well. I Just found the Playtex required the least amount of suction.
Have you tried any of those gerber finger foods? She might like those and I would think that they would be healthy for her.
one thing i dearly love about your blog (aside from your terrific sense of humor and wonderful writing style) is the fact that i can get great parenting advice for the next stage of mikaela's development. since porgie is a few months older than mikaela i am able to use and learn from your experiences. isn't it so funny how two teachers (the pair of us, of course!) can be so clueless sometimes when it comes to raising our own kids? this mommy thing is TOUGH! i give you so much credit because you're truly doing a terrific job of taking everything in stride whilst remaining a devoted, loving mom to porgie.
independent streaks are "textbook normal" but that doesn't make it any easier, i know. i am curious as to what suggestions come in from your blog readers. unfortunately, i am not able to offer much advice in the way of finger foods, as mikaela is still on the pureed stuff. i think you have a good start based on your list. hang in there sweetie!
Hi nice to meet you. Glad you found me. Okay I too am a vegetarian. Some of the things I give Brandon are, corn on a cob (also way helps with teething), corn off the cob, steamed carrots, STRING CHEESE (that is a favorite of Brandons especially the yellow twisty kind), cheetos (yeah yeah unhealthy) fruit leather, plumbs & peaches. Oh and then ways to get creative with the spoon, we pile cream cheese on the end and give it to him like a Popsicle. Also, maybe try giving her something semi thick like oatmeal or macaroni and cheese and let her have the spoon on her own. Brandon is actually pretty great with the spoon, and when he doesn't feel like using it, macaroni can be eaten nicely directly from your fingers. Also what about the morning star soy chicken nuggets with ketchup or something to dip in?
I'm sorry this is frustrating for you. I would feel this way, too. You want them to eat enough! Especially when they once didn't. I always think of that early weigh-in where Baby had lost more weight and I was told to supplement; it's taken me a long time to get over that and trust that Baby is getting enough to eat.
I guess you can just go to the sippy. When I was a nanny, I seem to recall giving the baby all her formula by cup, and she was Porgie's age. Also, with that same baby, I recall being totally annoyed when she wouldn't eat her food.
I'm glad you're trying to let it go. You'll feel better. She won't let herself starve! She doesn't need so much food now, anyway, right? Growing slower, right? Toddlers can, apparently, live on practically nothing, and Porgie is getting there.
Best of luck.
i've got a great book not sure if its britsh tho Finger foods for babies & toddlers by Jennie Maizels.
Independance is tough but at least shes proving she knows what she wants and how she's gonna get it, but poor Mummy in the mean time hey?!
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