Lately, my mother has been sending Porgie lots of cute stuff. In the past month, she has sent a summer outfit, the Easter dress (from yesterday's post), a talking stuffed bunny, ruffly little socks, a toy cell phone, and a duck that lights up. A few days ago, she sent an Easter card and informed me that she bought some more clothes for Porgie.
I am happy that she is taking such an interest in my baby, but at the same time I worry about her methods. I don't want her trying to buy Porgie's love. I want my mother to play a more active role in my daughter's life, without spending her entire paycheck to accomplish this goal. I don't know if I told you this, but my mother works as a waitress at a crappy little restaurant. She doesn't earn much money.
Additionally, my mother still supports my two brothers. My youngest brother is 13, so naturally he would still be living at home. However, my other brother is 20 years old. He doesn't have a job, he doesn't go to school, and he doesn't help out around the house. My mom seriously needs to kick his ass out.
I think my mother feels guilty for many of her actions in the past. She lost custody of both of my brothers for several years. Actually, she just regained custody of my youngest brother about 4 months ago. Now, she lets both boys take advantage of her. It is so frustrating.
Anyways, I actually need my mother to help me out at the end of the year. I need her to come to New Jersey to watch Porgie for several days. I am sure that she would agree to come, but if you knew my mother, you would know that she is full of empty promises. However, this would be a great way for her to connect and bond with Porgie. I want to ask her, but I don't want to be disappointed when she backs out at the last minute.
3 comments:
I'm sorry this is how things are with your mom, but I'm glad she's making an effort at this point, at least. For me it's my dad who is less dependable. I know how it sucks for parents not to live up your needs and expectations. Maybe your mom will come through for you--I certainly hope so! I don't know what to say about your brothers. That older one--yeah, he needs to try to accomplish something! It must be frustrating not being able to do anything about that.
I was going to reply to your earlier post a few months back about your mother, but got slammed down.
So, um, now I'll say it - I think we have the same mother. Maybe we should look into DNA testing. Sigh. Okay, it's not exactly the same but my mom is also chock full of empty promises and is attempting to make up for her lame excuse for mothering by trying to be Grandmother of the Year.
I'm sorry, I wish had some great advice, but I don't. These days, I just try to focus on my own little family because in the end, that's what counts for me now. I can't change the past.
This simply breaks my heart. My mom and I have an amazing relationship and I couldn't even imagine my life without her. I am able to relate, however, because my dad is a jack-ass. we have an on again off again relationship because he is seriously emotionally unstable. filled to the brim with the "empty promises" you mentioned.
for your and porgie's sake, i really hope your mom comes through. this is really her opportunity to mend the "karma" between the two of you...because let me tell you, all the money and gifts in the world WON'T.
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