Sunday, July 22, 2007

The Fear

Since discovering that I was pregnant, I have effectively managed to remain calm and collected about my situation. I try to focus on the positives. But occasionally, I start to panic. What the fuck am I doing? How the hell am I going to care for two babies? What if Izzy and I have breastfeeding issues? Is Porgie going to be jealous of her little brother? Will Izzy have colick? Will Porgie be going through the terrible twos? AHHHH!

I know that the first three months after Izzy's birth will be traumatic and awful - for everyone involved. I am expecting this, but I am also hopeful that this time around will be much easier. I have experience on my side, right? And maybe Porgie will be my little helper. And hopefully John will stop working tons of overtime, so he can help out with the babies too. If we work together, I think we will be okay.

Despite all of my fears, I am thrilled about having little Izzy in our lives. Maybe its just my happpy pregnancy hormones talking, but I have a feeling that Izzy is going to be a laid-back and content baby. And I am keeping my fingers crossed that he'll be a good sleeper. That is the thing I am most worried about. If Izzy sleeps good, I think we can handle anything else he throws our way.

9 comments:

Ashley said...

You are going to be awesome! I told myself that the first three months would be terrible as well, kind of to prepare myself and you know what? It was better than I ever could have imagined! Soon you won't be able to remember the time when it was just you and Porgie and you will wonder what you did with your time. You know allll that time you have now! LOL Totally kidding!

misguidedmommy said...

its like your inside of my head

Bon said...

i think being genuinely prepared for the first three months to be rough is the wisest preparation you can give yourself...and like Ashley said, chances are it will be better than you imagined. you will get through it, with whatever support you can get from John & family & friends, and you will have this beautiful family, dude.

peace. :)

Antropóloga said...

You'll be fantastic! Experience will definitely make a difference. Every little thing won't seem like the biggest deal. I have every confidence it will be okay. And even if it's not, well, time passes, and it'll get better.

Amber said...

I think things will be just fine! And hopefully for you sake Izzy is a good sleeper and a good breastfeeder. I think you'll do awesome as a mom to two! The unknown is always scary but you just get through it. I was absolutely terrified to have Taylor but it turned out to be just fine!

Em said...

You'll handle what every comes and be happy! But i can understand whats going on in your head!

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

You'll be fine. You'll just have to tell yourself that women have been doing this since the beginning of time. And that eventually your kids will grow up. And that eventually they will sleep someday. And they alcohol was created for a reason. hee hee

I'm with Ashley - it's not that bad. There have been a few moments where both kids have screamed or needed something at the same time. When that happens, I just focus on the kid whose needs are highest or can be dealt with the most quickly. I try really hard NOT to freak out, because that doesn't accomplish much and would just upset the older one anyway.

Also, you will be surprised at how much Porgie grows up over the next few months!

Lainey-Paney said...

:)

I think it's only natural to have fears about it. It's venturing into the somewhat-unknown. sure, you know about being a mom now...but every baby is different, and you don't know about being a mom of two.

A friend of mine found out that she was pregnant with twins when her son was just 12 or 18 months old (I forget how old now...)
Anyway...I was so worried for her. she had this peace about herself, & told me: "If one child takes up all of my time, then 3 can't take up any more than that." And somehow, it all works out every day for them.

So...I'm sure it will take some getting used to....and maybe the baby will be super-laid-back.
:)