As you already know, Porgie is a horrible sleeper. At nearly 11 months old, she still routinely wakes up twice per night. I have read numerous books about sleep, and I have implemented various techniques to try to alter her sleeping habits. Nothing has helped.
Yesterday I received a copy of Child magazine in the mail. I was reading the section on health, behavior, and feeding. One of the questions immediately captured my attention. The parent said, "We had a stressful time during my wife's pregnancy with our third child: a house fire, a job change, and her uncle's death. Things straightened out before our daughters arrival, and we've enjoyed her first two years a lot - except for her terrible sleeping habits. Her siblings were easier. Could stress have affected her in the womb?"
The doctor responded with, "There is now evidence that prenatal mood disturbances are associated with sleep disruptions: A study last year at the University of Rochester Medical School found that children whose mothers were anxious or depressed during pregnancy had more sleep problems at 18 and 30 months old. This finding fits in with previous animal studies showing that prenatal stress hormones may reset the biological sleep clocks in mammals' offspring."
During my pregnancy with Porgie, stress was a major factor in my life. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I was working in a horrible school district. Everyday was filled with anxiety and anger and general unhappiness. Midway through my pregnancy, we moved to New Jersey. Finding a new home, selling our old home, coordinating the move, etc. was incredibly stressful. Toward the end of my pregnancy, my blood pressure sky rocketed, I nearly fainted several times, and had difficultly feeling fetal movement.
As you can see, my pregnancy was definitely filled with stress. I think I am the reason that Porgie can't sleep.
P.S. Did you notice that the article said these children had more sleep problems at 18 and 30 months? Sniff, sniff. I am never going to get a good night's sleep. Sniff, sniff. Excuse me, I have to go wipe the tears from my eyes.
7 comments:
I hope for your sake she starts sleeping before that because being pregnant you're more tired all ready and that equals for one exhausted mommy still getting up in the night :-(
Bah. I think you are WAY too hard on yourself!!!! I guess I relate to your posts because my son didn't sleep through the night until about 12 months. However, we were co-sleeping so it didn't bother me. Except for teething, illness and Christmas Eve Stimulation, he sleeps like a dream now. There IS hope and you have to hang tight.
I am a little weary of all the studies that show "this or that" that affects our kids. When does it end? Is my kid going to be 50 years old, reading some article that shows because I ate feta cheese during my pregnancy, he is now a nail biter?
Seriously - be kinder to yourself. I am not entirely convinced that children should be sleeping through the night at young ages - they have a LOT going on with all that growing. Yes, it sucks that they don't sleep through the night, I try not to blame myself.
i dont believe that necessarily. My pregnancy with Aiden was bliss. I enjoyed every moment and wasn't stressed in the least and with Caileigh it was much more stressful because i already had Aiden to chase after. Aiden has never been a great sleeper and I am accepting that as him. caileigh, although a great sleeper, still wakes up 3-4 times a night. The only way I deal with it, is to not think about it, go to bed early and drink lots of coffee. LOL For your sake, being so exhausted, I hope she sleeps better soon!
Sorry its all rubbish, every baby is different and they have their own ways. There are studies for all sorts that blame the parents, who else can they blame??? your a great Mum and stop putting your self down. She will sleep when she wants to. I know my comments done make you less tired tho!
I was very calm with Maggie...She's the one that I had to drive around at 10 pm every night until she was almost a year old. One day I asked the childcare provider how she got her to nap during the day & she said, "I put her in the crib & shut the door" DUH!! I never drove her around again. SHe still takes a long time to settle though. Bath is at 8 ish...nice warm water, a few toys, then jammies, teeth brushin', hair combing & story time. I read her 1 fairy tale then tuck her in & kiss her goodnight. That kid will lie in bed, talking, playing with Ojo (the bear) singing, asking for drinks of water (nope) etc. etc... until 10 pm.
With Will, I said, "Oh Hayll no" I put him in his crib & he goes to sleep.
Every kid is different. Porgie will get it. Don't try to cut out a nap just yet though. Most times, all that gets you is a tired, cranky kid.
you are so NOT the reason for porgie's poor sleep habits!! each child is different. some are great sleepers and others aren't. i really don't think there is a surefire, clear cut answer as to why...although each year about a billion new books surface on the topic. just keep trying until something works. something HAS to give. i really don't think this will last until toddlerhood. i wish i could offer more help. :(
dude, i hate those types of conclusions that article draws...can they seriously show that there are no other factors impacting why those particular children might have sleep difficulties? i wouldn't leap too quickly on the guilt train, especially since there's really nothing you can do to change the circumstances of your pregnancy retroactively...besides, even that stress wasn't your fault!
for what it's worth, O has become a pretty good sleeper, and what with the loss of our first child and the weeks of hospitalized bedrest away from family my pregnancy was pretty stressful too. i do think stress matters...i think it probably impacted on our loss of Finn, and that breaks my heart. but seriously, it does NO good to go down that road, my friend.
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