Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Husband = Asshole

Do you ever get into really stupid fights with your husband? Lately, John and I seem to have about 57 petty fights per day. It is frustrating and irritating, but also extremely hard to stop. Last night we had a really good argument, so I'll share.

As you guys already know, I am not very happy about my current weight. I have decided that I only want to gain 15 pounds with this pregnancy. I know this is a lofty goal, but I am going to try to accomplish it. However, I am not going to beat myself up if I gain a little more.

During my first visit with Dr. S, we talked about my weight and my goals. She gave me some recommendation, which I have been trying to follow. At my 12 week appointment, I had actually lost 6 pounds. I am not worried about the weight loss, since it was accomplished by eating healthier.

Yesterday morning I stopped at the grocery store. I was buying a few things that John had requested. I was getting ready to leave when I passed by some peanut butter cookies. I LOVE peanut butter cookies, and I haven't had any in ages. I decided to buy the cookies. I didn't even feel guilty about my purchase. I really, really wanted those damn cookies.

So, around 9:00 pm last tonight, John decided to eat some ice cream. I pulled out my delicious peanut butter cookies. John looked at me with disgust and said, "I thought you were only going to gain 15 pounds." Oh, the anger, the fury, the rage. I truly wanted to punch him in the fucking face.

For the next 10 minutes we argued about peanut butter cookies. Finally, I got so pissed off that I decided to throw the damn cookies in the trash. Do you know what that fat bastard did? He continued eating his ice cream. Prick.

So, my beloved peanut butter cookies, I guess we will have to put our love affair on hold. I miss you already.


Misguided Mommy said...

oh shit...can i kick his ass for you. man, i love those stupid ass fights.....but seriously...he was way not thinking when he made that comment

Bon said...

dude. very not cool, to dis the occasional treat a diligently healthy-eating pregnant woman is having, especially while stuffing your face with ice cream.

support her in making healthy choices most of the time, yes. insult her...bad plan, daddy-o, bad plan.

Eva said...

Oh man, he did NOT say that!

Of course my husband, otherwise a totally smart and nice man, says shit like that sometimes. Do NOT look askance at my ice cream and ask me about my previously stated goals to lose weight!

I mean, you are PREGNANT. Your baby NEEDS peanut butter cookies--does he not understand this?

Anyway we had a really dumb fight tonight too. Something about how long Lost would be if you didn't watch the commercials compared to how long it would take me to finish eating my Brussels Sprouts and vacate the living room.

At any rate, congrats on eating well and best of luck to you with your weight gain this pregnancy! You can DO IT.

Amber said...

Oh the petty fights! I know how you feel! And good for you for losing six pounds, that's awesome! I only gained four pounds with Taylor and believe me it's soo much nice post pregnancy!

Em said...

I'd would have punched him - lol!

I agree, you sometimes just need little things like that, make been healthy the rest of the time better! The end of the day you are pregnant and at least your not eating like that all the time!

Catizhere said...

I would've been so pissed off I'd end up eating the WHOLE package of cookies.

Anth said...

Just eat them when he is not home. And accidentally throw his ice cream away.

Last weekend, I was PMS-ey and Dh was stressed, so many completely retarded fights took place. I hate those things.

Tiffany said...

oh yah...i have been there...done that...bought the tee-shirt. mike finally got over his issue with my weight (which subsequently was him projecting his issues w/ his own weight onto me to deflect from his own disgust w/ himself...gotta love didn't john know how much that hurt you? and gaining the weight you want to is YOUR decision. NOT his. this is the part where he needs to shut the fuck up.


kristi said...

Heh.My husband makes comments about me going back on my high protein diet. I lost 40 pounds then ended up knocked up with my son who is now 5. I guess I'll lose weight when I get ready and I don't need him to tell me when. Would I have thrown my cookies away? HELL to the NO!

Anonymous said...

Just eat your cookies when he's not there. I've found the most efficient method to dealing with being married to an asshole is to avoid sharing as much about myself and my life with him as possible. If he really loved you for who you are, you wouldn't be getting shit from him all the time. So be who you are when he's not around and stay busy with housework or something when he is.

Anonymous said...

I made the biggest mistake of my life by marrying a man that
I never should have a few years ago. I knew him as a young boy
twenty some odd years ago but after reuniting, his family failed
to tell me that Dan had become a terrible alcoholic thru the years
and that he had been in and out of different rehabs unsuccessfully,
as well as been in trouble with the law, including spending time
in jail.

He also had one of the worst tempers I had ever witnessed or known.
This unbelievable temper had also got him in trouble with 2 ex wives,
as he was physically violent and controlling with both. He was charged
with domestic violence with his second wife. Dans three children also
had very little to do with him due to his unpredictable behavior.

I never knew any of this until after I had already married him, there
were no signs or warnings but I would soon start having my own
terrible experiences right after we were married.

Dan would notoriously start an argument as an excuse to leave so
he could go drink, usually a day or two later he was sorry and wanted
to come home, this became a vicious pattern over and over. Last
Christmas I had had enough, he come home drunk and called the police
and made a false report on me, in the midst of the police coming,
Dan had sandwiched me in between our front door and screen door and
was pushing the heavy door on my entire body that was halfway in and
halfway out. By the time the police arrived, they saw the marks on
my arm and seen that Dan was intoxicated, Dan was arrested immediately.

His father made a couple of calls to me asking if I would call the prosecutor
and tell them that it was an accident, he wanted me to lie to get his
son out of trouble! It was at that time that I broke all ties with his
parents, I was starting to see that they were part of the problem.

Several months later I decided to separate from Dan, I wanted him to get
real help or else it was over. We were separated for 8 months, during this
time he had snuck into his 401k and took out $20,000 to buy a corvette, his
father had him put the corvette in his dads name so the money couldnt be
traced so that the car couldnt be taken from him.
That money was supposed to be ours for when we were old, so that we could
live on it. Since then, I have heard three different stories about the
401k, to which none of them I believe. He also has a terrible time with
telling the truth and being honest. I have found out that Dan has all the
characteristics of an alcoholic- although he doesnt feel he has a problem,
nor does he think that hes an alcoholic.
During our separation, he was arrested again, drunk driving, this time he ended
up going to jail. He was in there for approximately 4 months.
He had violated his probation that he was given from the domestic violence
charge, because of this, his parents thought that their son was going
to jail because of me.
My problem is this, I want out, I cant stand him, he has caused so much
pain and turmoil for everyone and still has not changed but I have no job
I have tons of applications in everywhere but ith the economy, I am struggling
to find something and I need my bills paid. I dont know where to turn or
what to do, all I know is that I want out!!

Anonymous said...

arrh wow my husband and i just had a lengthy fight (and ruined our saturday night and, the way things are going, probably sunday, too) because he keeps pressuring me (sorry if this is too graphic for anybody) to swallow, and i keep saying no. nice, huh? i would never pressure him to do something that he didn't want to do, i am so so angry, why does this keep coming up? any advice?

it's amazing how many links come up when you google 'husband asshole'.

Anonymous said...

google "husband asshole;" that's how i found this in the first place!
Mine said just now: "I'm going to bed, so if you feel the need to rub me, come to bed." HA
Like others on this site have said, I do love him, but he's SUCH a small-town-minded asshole it's almost more than I can stand. 2nd marriage, we graduated high school together, married other people, now are married. I never would have married him straight out of high school, I can see that now for sure. Although he is not stupid and I do not feel intelligently superior to him like I did my first husband, we for sure have different outlooks on this world.
His heart is in the right place, he just presents it through his asshole self. Our marriage could be so much better...

Anonymous said...

My husband has never been an ass hole till i got pregnant he was good the first 4 months but now we have moved to his home town he hasn't even met my doctor and he is such a jerk hes reunited with his partying buddies and is drunk 5 nights a week at 7 months he had to go out of town for a couple days and some of buddies went to on a work thing and they snuck to another town and got busted smoking pot in a hotel room with other woman and now he just got home last night after i was asleep from a 2 week work trip and i'm due in 10 days and today was the first day he was home and he left this morning to run a quick errand and went to the bar with his white trash uncle and just got back an hour ago i left i'm sick of this shit not cool

Anonymous said...

To the one who fights about having to swallow. There are 2 ways to go about this. One is to take a sip of preferably a soda can right after and spit in the can. The other is to spit it back at him and rub it all over his penis and it is obviously what he deserves but maybe he is dumb enough to think it is your saliva, Good luck.

Joanne said...

Yes your husband sounds like a winner..and I sympathize with your problem. Men tend to blurt out hurtful comments, with no thought as to the consequences, or how it affects the receiver. My husband of 33+ years (I can't believe I'm married this long...really....!!), is 56 years old and has been going through a mid life crisis lately. He had a heart attack in 2009, quit smoking, going to the gym, new clothing, promotion at work, oh and did I mention the fluff hired in his department, big fake boobs whom he texts all day long. She also gets special trips that the other staff don't, and he idolizes her. How did I find this out. Well I went on the Blackberry back in February 2010, and saw emails from him to another "male", coworker, about the sexual acts he wished to perform on her. I was disgusted. I also found other emails about a million $$ night he was looking forward to? This turned out to be a night at a strip bar/brothel where he dumped a couple hundred bucks on a hooker. After being confronted only concern was for "his privacy", and he has needs. He also confessed to obtaining the "services" of these women a few times over the past 10 or 15 years. He can't remember when? He can't remember when he cheated on me, or with whom? He also has a very unethical business relationship with one of his sales guys, a man who is a known philanderer and encourages my husband, (probably paid for the hookers on trips), to participate in extramarital affairs. It's the norm in his life, so others must follow!!! This I've had to deal with for the past 8 months. Now the hubby goes on the internet and participates in online sex? I found all this on his embeded computer history. Well, I am now thinking that death back in 2009 with the heart attack, would have been easier to cope with. I am not financially able to exit this mess, so I pray for a lottery win, or in all likelihood, he gets promoted again, moves to the states, and I am rid of this person. He is not the man I married, and a complete stranger in my life. There is no conversations, nothing, he goes to work, comes home, eats dinner, goes to bed...or to the porn sites. Men are pigs, and I have no interest in another relationship ever in my life, just want to be left alone, live alone.

Anonymous said...

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Stella said...

I just happened to see your blog today and not sure about the whole scheme of things with your marriage - Seriously what is wrong with you? Why are you having more children with this man if you can't stand him?
He sounds like he has no respect for you or the fact that pregnant women have food cravings.
You two have huge lessons in respect for yourselves and each other. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you see the lessons in your marriage so you can grow into a better space.