Sunday, July 19, 2009

Jealous

Since birth, both of my children have leaned heavily toward mommy. I was always the first one they cried for, the first one they asked for when they woke up in the morning, and the first one to get hugs & kisses. But Izzy decided to jump ship last week.

At first, I was relieved. You want Daddy to hold you? GREAT! You want Daddy to change your shitty diaper? AWESOME! Sensing my delight, Izzy decided to step it up a notch. Suddenly, he didn't want me to touch him. If I tried to pick him up, he kicked and screamed until I released him. When I tried to change his diaper, he thrashed and flailed around on the changing table. It got so bad that I started to feel like my Izzy Whizzy Woo didn't like me anymore. I was suddenly jealous of Daddy. The more Izzy rejected me, the more I wanted to snuggle him.

Today was the hardest. Izzy absolutely refused to interact with me. I felt genuinely disliked, but I kept my distance. And then, after bath time, Izzy crawled onto my lap with a book. We read it, and he gave me a kiss before we turned out the lights.

This is just the beginning. Izzy is separating himself from me. He is pushing me away, because he is a BIG kid. I am not ready. I want to cuddle my baby boy. I want to smother him with kisses. But really, I just want him to stop growing so damn fast.

Stay little and cuddly and innocent, my sweet boy. Why are you in such a hurry to grow up?

12 comments:

Rachel said...

Christy-I totally go through this and I am so happy that you posted this. It has been hard at times and I think this really started to happen when Max was Izzy's age. If daddy is around then mommy is on the back burner and daddy only helps him but in the middle of the night and he is scared or sick then he ONLY wants mommy. It gets easier but it is still hard. I swear I have NO pics with max because he refuses to take one with me but with daddy-well he will do anything with daddy. Thanks for letting me know I am not alone.

Laura Marchant said...

I hear ya, I ask LM for a kiss, he smacks my face, laughs and runs away. How nice.

Alicia W. said...

I know what your talking about. This happened for us when I brought Brody home. Brea FLIPPED on me big time. Told me she didn't like me and she really didn't like him and all she wanted was Daddy. Talking about ripping my heart in two. Basically what her Dr told me was that I needed to do was spend one on one time with JUST her. It worked like a charm! :)

Just Jiff said...

:( Mommy may take a backseat for now, but you'll be the first and only person he wants/needs when he's sick, shy, or needy.

Jen said...

My son has always wanted my husband. I don't get it.

Amanda said...

If only we could hit the pause button!

amanda said...

i sooo don't look forward to this happening. i like that i am number one in her eyes. i mean she loves her daddy - but i too am the go to mommy!

i get this whole freeze time concept now...i just don't want them to grow up!

Chris said...

I went through the exact same thing. When Jack started wanting daddy more I was so happy at first. But then soon after, I was jealous. I wish we could just make time stand still...

Antropóloga said...

Nora goes back and forth between us.Well, mostly me, but how much she wants my husband comes and goes. It's funny how they do.

Anonymous said...

Oh no.. it's careful-what-you-wish-for-syndrome. Happened to us a little while back... Cupcake wanted nothing to do with me and I seriously cried. A lot. She's three, and she's totally pulling away and becoming more and more independent and it's KILLING ME. At least I have Geeklet to snuggle. She just started crawling, so I still have a chance at catching her.

Clare said...

he is so cute in that picture!! don't grow up yet!!

Kris said...

You should have seen my reaction when I saw that picture... I can't believe he's getting so big! No, I can... because mine is too... but still it caught me off guard. Not that you want to hear this, but he doesn't look like a baby anymore...

I've been lucky... Kalila still wants me most days. There are times that she wants her Baba and I try not to get upset, but there are times the jealousy monster gets me too. Wanting him is great, saying no to me or slinking away not so much... Am grateful its not often yet... but I know the day will come.