As most of you know, I had a very difficult time breastfeeding Porgie. When I think back on our experience, I have many regrets. Yet at the same time, I feel like I did the best that I could under the circumstances. I had a c-section, no one was around to help me with the baby, Porgie wasn't gaining weight, and I was suffering from a bout of baby blues. That first month home with my baby, was overwhelming and confusing. Life was one continuous struggle, until I finally started pumping. Although pumping is 100 times harder than breastfeeding, at the time it felt like pumping was a god-sent. Pumping was a way for me to give my baby breast milk without the tears of frustration, the pain of cracked and bleeding nipples, and the screams of hunger from my baby.
Even though my experience was less than joyous, I definitely want to try again. However, this time around I want to start pumping right away to help build my supply. With Porgie, I just assumed at my supply would be adequate if I breastfed exclusively. This was not the case. After a month of breastfeeding exclusively, Porgie had still not regained her birth weight. After I made the decision to start pumping, I was shocked to discover that I was only producing about 1 ounce of milk every 3 hours.
Instead of renting again, this time I am looking into purchasing a hospital grade pump off of eBay. However, I am also a little scared of purchasing the pump. What if I fail at the whole breastfeeding thing again? There is no way in hell that I can pump exclusively, with two children under the age of two to care for. Then I will be stuck with an expensive breast pump. John reminded me that I could always resale the pump on eBay, but I know that I wouldn't (what if we have another baby?).
So, as usual, I can't seem to make up my fucking mind. Maybe I should just rent again - but $37 per month is expensive.
I was wondering if anyone has any recommendations for a pump. With Porgie I used a Medela Classic pump, which I liked (but I never used anything else). What kind of pump did you use?
13 comments:
because O was in the NICU for two weeks and then back in the hospital again at six weeks, i had lots of chance to use the fancy schmancy hospital grade thingy they have there...and to be honest i didn't like it any better than the Medela (spelling?) we briefly rented. however, for the most part, i used my little Avent hand pump...which was a bit more work and twice the time, but i only pumped exclusively in short spurts while they tried to sort out potential allergy issues for O. as a supplementary pump, it was great...but it's hard to know in advance what you'll need, for sure, because you never know what kind of nurser your baby will be.
i will say that you didn't fail at breastfeeding, Christy. i know the feeling, struggled with it myself through many of the early months when we were on-again off-again and i was miserable and frustrated...but with the distance of a year i can see now that it wasn't a failure, and certainly you weren't either. you had a hard time. you didn't get the gift of a textbook situation. that's not your fault or your failure. seriously. and hopefully you'll have it easier this second time around...but even if things don't go as you hope or plan, it's not you. you try. that's what you offer your child. if you find that the classic scenario doesn't work, you adapt. that's the blessing of living in a society with bottles and formula...options. for a healthy baby. and a mentally healthy mommy.
okay, done now. :)
have you considered buying something off ebay?
Yes, you can always sell it again. Also, try Craigslist.
I had my trusty Lactina. Never used anything else (tried an Avent Isis hand pump, couldn't get anything out).
I can certainly relate to how you feel. The breastfeeding issue is one reason I want to stay far away from having more babies for quite a while. It really sucked. But you (and I) did a great job under the circumstances.
Maybe talk to an LC about this issue? I have a great one you can call for free advice, too. Grandmotherly type.
I would rent a Medela Symphony if I had to do it all over again. I'm using my Pump in Style Original and recently tried a Medela Harmony manual and I love the special let-down stimulator button, I seem to get more milk this way. I wish I would have bought the PIS advanced but now my baby is 10 mos old and it's too late.
I've known lots of women who've had much more milk the second time around, you may not need to pump at all. Did Porgie have a good suck?
Ask Moxie posed this question maybe a month ago?? Search her archives because she has a great core of commenters!
I rarely pumped and used a Medela Harmony handpump. Obviously, I am so NOT the person to ask for advice. Sorry!
Also, I'd like to reiterate the comment that you didn't "fail" at breastfeeding. You did whatever it took to get it done! That's not failure!
Also, your 2nd experience may very well be different.
I hope for your sake that it goes better this next time! Me personally I don't enjoy breastfeeding at all and hated it the whole time and so each kid got it a little less than the last kid! So I admire you for being so persistent at it cuz I just end up giving up to easily :-) But I do have a breast pump that they gave me through WIC that I no longer have any use for so how much do you think it would cost to ship it to you from Oregon??
Never read what you went through with the Bfing before. I think you did superb considering the support you were given. I had a medela pump that was great, bought it off ebay and just bought new parts and bottles for it.
You know things could be so different next time, dont just think its going to be the same.
I was determind to Bf and when i had cracked & bleeding nipples, my husband (bless him) paid for a breastfeeding councilor to come out to home to see me as i was geeting so worked up, i tried different positions and found to start rugby ball was best for my healing.
http://www.kellymom.com/ - this website was recommended to me by the BF councilor and TBH i dont know what i'd have done without if to use for reference.
Amber,
You are such a sweet person. I don't know how much it costs to ship from Oregon to New Jersey, but I can find out if you know how much the pump weighs. Email me at cnpurcell@verizon.net
I used the Avent hand pump in the very beginning but once I decided to pump and store, I ended up buying an Ameda Purely Yours off of Ebay. It worked great for me.
This time, I decided I wanted to get a brand new fancy pump so I got the Avent duo electric (I resold the other pump on ebay and I ended up really only spending $30 for the 5 months I used it in the end after getting back a lot from the resale). Obviously I can't give feedback on it yet but it is very nice looking and all the reviews I've read have been positive.
Have you tried La Leche League in your area? You can find a local organization on their website and they welcome moms even before the baby is born. Maybe They could give you the support you need that was lacking the first time?
My Dr lent me a motozied pump (not sure what kind) after Aiden and it was AMAZING! Once I returned it, I think after 2 months, I just used the regular Avent hand pump. I havent been pumping with Caileigh much cause she doesnt seem to want to take a bottle (I havent tried too much) but I am constantly getting sore nipples due to lazy latch so I have considered pumping more to let things heal. I think you are absolutely AMAZING to pump for so long. It must have been super hard work!
I had a Medela dual something or another. I hated pumping. I felt like a cow.
I also had a c-section, but during my 6 day stay at the hospital when Nate was in the NICU I was able to use the hospitals electric pump to work on getting my milk supply up while he was in his incubator.
I distincly remember the breastfeeding support person saying that a manual pump would not help establish your milk supply and the double duty electric pump was way better. I used it around the clock, every three hours the entire stay at the hospital.
After I got home though, I just used the Avent Isis breast pump to pump milk when I was just too tired to feed and wanted Mark to give Nate a bottle. I found the first two months of breastfeeding very difficult. Sore nipples, thrush, getting him to latch etc. And I dont think I ever pumped more than 1 or 2 ounces for the first couple of months. Nate is six months old and sometimes i still only get an a couple of ounces depending on the time of day.
I wouldnt worry so much about HOW much milk you can pump because once your milk supply is established, it will be perfect for you and your baby.
Personally, I would go the route of working with la leche league breastfeeding support person and renting an electric pump temporarily if you are not able to be with your babe right after birth to establish your supply before investing in an expensive pump.
And ps. Please don't ever think you failed. At the end of the day, whether your baby is breastfed or bottle fed, it's your love and guidance that is the most important thing you can give your children.
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