Friday, June 22, 2007

Come out, come out, where ever you are

Because I am neurotic and slightly insane, I am always worrying about something. My latest fear is regarding fetal movement. I started feeling Porgie move at 18 weeks. I read that you usually feel fetal movements sooner with your second pregnancy. I am 17 weeks, and I haven't felt any movement. Okay, maybe I have felt a few faint sensations, but nothing that I can pinpoint as definite fetal movement. Of course, I am making myself insane with worry.

I know what you are going to say - "17 weeks is still really early," or "lots of people don't feel movement until 20 weeks," or "stop being insane and worrying for no damn reason."

Before I got pregnant with Porgie, I had this fantasy about pregnancy. I thought that I would waddle around, happily rubbing my belly. Instead, I fretted and worried the whole nine months - the longest nine months of my life. Honestly, I didn't really enjoy being pregnant.

When I got pregnant the second time, I thought that I would enjoy this pregnancy more. After all, I don't have the time to fret and worry about every little thing. Apparently I have more time than I thought, because I am already racked with fear. I think my fears in this pregnancy stem from the fact that I am already considered "high risk."

The thing that really sucks, is that my fears do not stop with delivery. They merely transform into new fears about SIDS, breastfeeding, developmental milestones, etc.

Being a mommy is tough.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Would it help to tell you that with my first, I felt real honest to goodness kicks at about 20 weeks and with my second here, it took until about 22 weeks? I felt wiggles and movement earlier but actual kicking took until those points.

My current pregnancy is different in the fact that this baby is no where near as active as my first was. Still perfectly healthy, just more calm I suppose.

Mary said...

It is tough being a mom, but you are doing a great job! Try not to worry so much; everything will be fine.

misguidedmommy said...

you and i sound like twins. i am 18 weeks and can't feel the baby and i get all stressed every day about it. and omg the sids fear i cried for nearly two weeks about that....well that and everything else combined with 2 weeks of baby blues..yeah i was really enjoyable at that time. plus your not being irrational your being a mom. like i read...the fact that you are worrying just means you care and is an excellent sign..so that means that you and i must CARE a whole lot huh!

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

Yeah, I don't think worry less with the 2nd, you just have LESS time in which to worry. :-) Hang in there. We all have our paranoias, so you're not alone.

Just a few weeks ago, I was getting worried because NewKid wasn't hiccuping at all (it's good for their lungs to do that - practice!). I read on someone's blog about her baby due just a week after mine who was doing the hiccups and I was JEALOUS. Then a week later, NewKid finally started doing them. Of course, I felt like a fool.

Amber said...

See I am always envious of the women who say they felt their baby move all the time when they were pregnant because I rarely EVER felt my babies in each of my pregnancies. My doc said that some women's body's just weren't designed to feel all the kicks and moves and I guess mine was one of those bodies but I understand your worry about not feeling any movement!

Em said...

You'll never stop worrying because its how you are programed, its easy to say dont worry when you arent the worrier, you are doing a great job so keep it up. feeling the baby that early in my opinion is just luck!

Rachel said...

Yep, that is me too. I worry a lot in general. I tried not to worry about stuff too much but it was so tough. I tried to get one of those baby monitors but it never worked. I felt Max at 17 weeks but I know tons of women who did not feel anythiing un til 21 weeks. But since you are worrying, it also means you are a good mama. Kiss Porgie for me.

Anonymous said...

I didn't have a single worry with Maggie. Everything went right along with the charts. After the miscarriage, then with Will, I worried from the second line on the stick until the day I delivered.

Sorry if that didn't ease your mind at all, but Will seems to have turned out pretty good.

Antropóloga said...

Yes, I had always thought my big worry was whether or not I could conceive. Haha, nope, it's the stuff after that that is truly worrisome! You sound totally normal to me. At least you're not drinking ice tea all the time to try to rev the baby up! Pregnancy is hard because you care SO MUCH about it but there's really nothing you can do.

Bon said...

tough indeed, Christy...poor worried you.

i will say that with my first pregnancy i didn't feel movement until close to 20 weeks, which i think is more the average. you may simply have been early feeling it with Porgie, which would then make you well within normal range for feeling #2 kick, despite the "oh god i should feel it by now" panic.

hug.