My mother is coming to New Jersey in June. I have mixed feelings about her visit, but I am trying to be optimistic. I have already planned the first few days. We are going to the beach, the farm, the aquarium, and the children's museum. It should be a fun and action packed week.
However, I am also a little worried the trip. When my mother decided to come visit, I strongly encouraged her to get a hotel room. She refused and asked to stay at our house. I was a little disappointed. Our house is small. I just know that we are going to annoy each other. Shit, she annoys me when she is 10 hours away, so I KNOW she will annoy me.
My mother is the opposite of every mother you have ever meet. She has tattoos. She chain smokes. She curses like a sailor. Although I hate to admit it, she embarrasses me. I cringe at the thought of going out in public with her.
My mother also has numerous health problems. I don't feel comfortable getting into all the details, but I worry about her being in close contact with my children. I plan on cleaning like a maniac while she is here. Ugh. Just one more thing to worry about.
My mother is very ignorant about food. When she stayed with us back in 2007, she would only eat toast. I felt bad, so I made John go buy her fast food every night. But I am not doing that this time. She can eat what we eat, or starve to death.
I am a horrible person. Why am I so self absorbed? I should be happy that I get to see my mother and that the kids will get to see their grandmother. But instead, I am sitting here fretting and worrying about all of the detail. I suck. Why do you guys put up with me?
22 comments:
Seriously from what I have read about your mom situation I can't blame you. Good luck honey, you're gonna need it!
I don't know, maybe I'm mean, but when someone wants to stay at my house, (and yes, I've done this to my parents before), and I would rather they stay at a hotel, I insist. You might want to insist. It's your house, after all.
How long is she staying? I don't think your mean, just honest and realistic. Try to set some boundaries right away if you can. Good luck!
It's okay. Everybody has mom issues. Go you for trying!
You don't suck. You are the host and it is always stressful when people visit, especially your parents. Hey, it's your house, therefore your rules.
Tee-hee, I like you for your neuroses, it makes me feel less alone with mine.
You don't suck.
I think if you don't want her staying at your house, then insist she stays in a hotel. Who cares if she gets mad. Its YOUR house.
Good luck, girlie!
Oh shit, that bad! How long is she staying? I would totally have to up my meds and pray that I wouldn't flip out. :o) Goodness, I wish you the best and please keep us updated. At least we can be some kind of support system for you. :)
I wish you luck! Sometimes family, though we might love 'em, drives us crazy. It doesn't make us bad people; it just makes us human.
Maybe she didn't want to pay for a hotel? Maybe you could split the cost with her or something? My mother definitely sounds like the opposite of your mother but we still annoy each other at close range... and from 2000 miles away, so it's all mother-daughter relationships. Ha.
Call me honey! We can swap stories! We keep a bottle of liquor on our closet shelf when my mom and dad come for those exact reasons. Minus the tattoos! But they do chain smoke and get up at 4:30 to go outside to do so and wake up the kids, us the entire neighborhood doing so! Believe me, I understand this one. If you need to vent email me! NO judging here. We could start a group if you want!
I think we were twins separated at birth. THAT is why I put up with you. ...and only because of that! ;-)
I saw Christy's comment when I was scrolling down, and it's not a bad idea... We live in a small house too. There are no guest bedrooms here, so anyone staying over has to sleep on the pull out couch. My in laws always stay at a hotel (although I think that's because my father in law wants a break from the chaos)
You could just tell her that the kids are early risers and very noisy, and that she might prefer to stay at a hotel so that she can sleep in and not be woken up at the crack of dawn. You could even offer to pay for it - if you're that desperate!
Good Luck!
How long is your Mum planning to stay?
You will all survive the visit :o)
l,
Amanda x
I totally understand about the crazy mom thing. Mine's a witch. No, really. She practices Wicca. I don't mind, except when she starts talking to the kids about it..
Hang in there. And you aren't bad for writing this. It's stressful and you need to find a way to deal with it. It's all good.
i say, LET HER EAT TOAST!
you don't make someone cook you or buy you different food when you are already getting the privelage of staying at their house HELL NO. To lazy to comment on above post, the doors look AMAZING!
don't think you are mean at all friend - in fact this is just another reason why i love you.
my mom embarrasses me too. for different reasons, but that doesn't matter.
what's worse? i hate that i push her away knowing one day i will regret it. and hoping to god beans never feels that way about me.
you don't suck at all, christy, REALLY!!! i totally can empathize with you. our mothers are totally different. but, saying having her stay here on the lane with us is unpleasant would be an UNDERstatement.
mothers, PHEW!!!
good luck:)
love,
dani xxxx
Don't feel bad, seriously. You are a grown woman and have expectations. There's nothing wrong with that.
I don't blame you for asking her to stay in a hotel.
The food thing is strange. Plus you don't want the kiddos picking up bad habits from her!
I will continue to put up with you cause you tell it like it is and I like that!
You are not horrible. You have had some tough things happen between you and your mom and you are still probably a little sore. I am too with my mom. The mom daughter relationship is confusing. Be easy on yourself.
Oh dear!
I really hope that it will go ok!
I do not always see eye to eye with my mum either ~ families eh??
Love and hugs Tab XXX
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