This morning I just about lost it with Porgie. I was so overwhelmed and frustrated, I honestly didn't even want to look at her. Last night she woke me up 4 time. I HAD to feed her in order for her to go back to sleep. Then, she woke me up at 6:00 am for the day. Needless to say, I wasn't in the best mood from the very start.
I tried to be happy. We played on the floor, ate some prunes, and watched a baby video. At 9:00 she began looking tired, and she was getting a little cranky. I made her a bottle and we went into the bedroom. She gulped down the milk and was fast asleep by 9:20. Being extremely sleepy, I layed down next to her and drifted off to sleep too.
I was jarred awake by a little foot kicking me in the ribs. I opened my eyes to see a fully awake Porgie. I rolled over and looked at the clock. It was 9:52. She had only been asleep for 32 minutes. I layed there praying that she might go back to sleep. Instead of going to sleep, she began crying.
I dragged myself out of bed and took her into the kitchen. I put her in the exersaucer and she cried. I put her on the floor and she cried. I placed her in the swing and she cried. I decided that maybe she was still hungry, so I put her in the highchair. Guess what? She cried. I got out the squash and attempted to feed her anyway. She screamed bloody murder and I lost my shit. I yelled at my precious baby. I think I told her to "STOP CRYING!!!!"
Instantly, she started screaming even louder. It was one of those quivering cries, that usually make my heart break. Not today. I grabbed her out of the chair, put her jacket on her, and headed out to the car. I had no sympathy for her.
You might be wondering - where is she going with a crying baby? Why shopping, of course. Porgie calmed down once we started driving, but I was still angry. I didn't calm down until we were half way through our shopping trip.
The thing that really disturbs me, is that my lack of sleep makes me so short tempered. I have decided that something has to be done to remedy this horrible sleep situation. This lack of sleep is negatively affecting my relationship with Porgie, John, and my pets. I am just no fun to be around. I think we may have to start letting Porgie 'cry it out.'
1 comment:
Oh, I think that's happened to all of us. Don't beat yourself up about it. My baby (five months) is having sleep issues right now (is it teething/is it a growth spurt/is it a cold/is it a sleep regression--who knows?) and so I'm much less patient with everyone as a result of less sleep. I try to redirect my upsetness to my husband, at least, instead of the baby. And like you did the next night, have your partner do stuff when you can!
Eva
http://antropologa.wordpress.com/
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