Poop problems

I think I have mentioned this before, but Izzy has really weird poop. It is bright green, and very runny. It has the consistency of water. Every time I change his diaper, I am a little disturbed.

About a month ago, I called and talked to one the nurses at my pediatrician's office about his strange poop. She said that there was a wide spectrum of what is considered normal for newborn poop and that Izzy sounded pretty normal. So, I tried to let go of my fears and accept his runny poop.

Over the past few weeks, I began worrying more and more about his poop. On more than one occasion, his poop was actually slimy. I decided that it was not normal and called to make an appointment this morning.

Izzy's doctor agreed that his poop is not normal. She said that it sounds like he definitely has food allergies, and that I need to start an elimination diet. I have already stopped eating dairy. Now I need to eliminate soy, eggs, and peanuts. Oh crap people, I am a vegetarian. Do you know how hard it is going to be to stop eating soy?

In addition to altering my diet, Izzy needs to be seen by a GI specialist. Apparently, the GI doctors in this area have a pretty long waiting list, so it could be months before Izzy even goes to the GI specialist. Sigh.

I knew something wasn't right. Izzy seems so uncomfortable and restless after eating. He can't seem to settle down and get any rest. He takes little catnaps during the day and wakes every hour or two at night. My poor little guy doesn't feel good.

Stream of Consciousness: Part 5

Breakfast foods are gross. Just ask Porgie. For some strange reason, I can't get Porgie to eat any foods that are commonly consumed for breakfast. Suddenly she hates yogurt, cereal, oatmeal, waffles, veggie sausage, and hash browns. I have basically given up on breakfast foods. This morning Porgie ate peas and pasta.
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In the past, I would get the crayons and drawing paper out for Porgie once or twice a month. She would scribble for a few minutes and then she was bored. Last week, she decided that she really liked drawing. She spent hours coloring. When I tried to put the crayons away, she flipped out. So, I gave them back to her, because who wants to fight over crayons? Every morning when Porgie wakes up, she sleepily says, "co co?" And we have to go get the crayons and drawing paper. She is such a little sweetie.
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For few months, Izzy's skin looked perfect. It was soft and smooth and beautiful. I thought he had escaped the dreaded eczema that has plagued Porgie for the past 20 months. Unfortunately, things have taken a tun for the worst. He has a sandpapery rash on his forehead and a round spot of eczema on his back. Darn. I seriously need to buy stock in this lotion, because I spend a fortune on it every week.
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My personal hygiene habits have really gone down hill lately. Have you ever tried getting in the shower, while caring for two young babies? Not easy. It is so difficult, that I often opt to just wait until John comes home before I get in the shower. The problem is that John works late a lot. By the time he gets home, we have just enough time to eat dinner before putting Porgie to bed. The bathroom is right across the hall from her bedroom and there is no way in hell I am going to risk waking her up. So I am dirty and stinky A LOT. Too much information? Maybe.
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I think my milk supply has gone into the crapper. For the last week or two, Izzy refuses to nurse during the day. Instead, he likes to binge eat at night. After hours of trying to get him to feed, I would go pump. By this time, I was usually engorged and uncomfortable. However things changed this week. Izzy is still not feeding very well during the day, but I am no longer engorged. Babies are a pain in the ass.
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Sleep deprivation continues to kick my ass. I am so jealous of mothers who have babies who actually sleep. I am so jealous, that I kind of hate them. Just a little. Okay, maybe I hate them a lot. If your baby is a great sleeper, I am rolling my eyes at you right now. Bitch.

I know everyone thinks their kids are cute, but...

How does Porgie do it? Within 5 minutes of waking up, she is tossing toys on the floor and running around like a little monkey. If this is what my house looks like with one mobile child, what will my house look like with 2 mobile children? Oh the horror! The horror!

In all seriousness, I love the chaos that she brings to my life. After a day of fun, I am more than happy to clean up her mess. I mean look at her...
I could stare at that sweet face for hours. Did you notice the ape drape? She is starting to look like Billy Ray in the early 90's...

Speaking of sweet faces, look at my favorite little guy...Do you know how he stays so plump? By eating every hour or two ALL NIGHT LONG. Enough said.

We are going to enjoy a nice day, without daddy. And we're not even going to complain. Sorry for all the ranting, but my husband drives me INSANE. Seriously.

We have a playdate this afternoon, so I must go clean my house to give the appearance that I am a good housewife.

In Which I File Divorce Papers

I have an overwhelming urge to kick my husband in the head.

John was out of town last Thursday. So, I had to care for both babies all day, then try to orchestrate bedtime with a minimal amount of crying. I managed to get everything done, but it was hard. Izzy is still so little and needy. He wants to be held a lot. And its fairly hard to bath a 20 month old, while holding a 3 month old. But we survived.

Today, John announced that he will be out of town Wednesday and Thursday of this week. I was pissed. I don't fucking understand why he happily agrees to go out of town for his fucking job. Doesn't he understand that I need help?

When I got pissed, he said, "Thanks for the support." What a prick. Where the fuck is my support? AHHHH! At this point, I am so angry with him that I am almost glad he is going to be gone for two days. I don't even want to look at his ugly face.

Craftiness

I finally finished Izzy's scarf. Since he is too little to wear a scarf, I tried to get Porgie to model it for me. It didn't work out very well, but here are the photos anyways...You get the idea. It's a blue scarf.

Leaving your babies

I think it is very unnatural for a mother to leave her babies. Saturday was supposed to be a day of rest and relaxation. In reality, it was a day of fretting and worrying.

As I packed up the kids to go to C's house, I felt very uneasy. When we arrived on their doorstep, I felt a little panicky. As we drove away from their house without our babies, I felt sad. It was really tough leaving my children in someone else's care.

After about 20 minutes of near constant worrying, I began to let go (a little). C would call if anything was wrong with Porgie and Izzy. I trust her and her husband wholeheartedly. They are really nice people, and I am lucky to know them.

John and I went out to lunch at a very nice Italian restaurant, where I talked about the babies constantly. Then we headed over to CompUSA and purchased a new camera to take fancy pictures of my babies. And then I was done. I wanted to go get my babies.

When we arrived back at C's house, Izzy was sleeping and Porgie was happily dancing around their playroom. I guess I did all that worrying for nothing. But it sure felt good to have my babies in my arms again.

Stream of Consciousness: Part 4

I love writing on my blog. LOVE IT. However, I have been struggling to come up with new topics to write about. I never leave the house, so I have no fun stories about our adventures. I hardly ever speak to any of my old mommy friends, so I have no good gossip. I could write about our day to day routine, but I am sure that you don't really care that Izzy pooped 3 times or that Porgie actually ate lunch in her highchair. So, please excuse me if I indulge in a few memes to pass the time.
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I have been eating so much junk food lately. I am always starving, so I shove whatever is closest to me in my mouth. Seriously, I ate lunch at 10:30 this morning because I was starving. And now its noon and I am hungry again. Since I can't blame this on being pregnant, I am going to blame this on breastfeeding. It couldn't just be me being fat could it? Of course not. Its definitely breastfeeding. Right? Come on, throw a dog a bone.
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I spoke too soon about Izzy's naps. We are back down to 30-45 minute naps. Ugh. He changes like the wind, so maybe next week he'll start napping better. Although these little catnaps are irritating, I am thankful that he is napping.
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I bought a sling for Izzy before he was born. I only used it a few times, because it just seemed to hug him too tightly. When I put him in it, he would squirm and fuss the entire time. I tossed the sling in the closet, and forgot about it.

One day last week, Izzy was uber fussy during Porgie's nap. Desperate to hush his cries, I dug the sling out of the closet. I decided to place him in an upright position in the sling. He LOVED it and was instantly calmed. I have used the sling several more times at the grocery store and Target, with Izzy sitting upright. It is a wonderful feeling to leave all of the baby equipment in the car - no carseat, no stroller.
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It is official, I am now in the rapid hair loss postpartum phase. After I wash my hair, big clumps will fall out in my hands. And hair is all over my house - on the couch, on the counters, in my food, on my children, etc. I can't wait until I stop shedding like a damn cat.
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We have been having some nursing issues lately. Izzy refuses to nurse almost all day long, and then he eats all night long. I have no idea how to fix this problem. If you have any advice, please send it my way.
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Rachel gave me with this little award...
I had no freaking clue what "I Less-than-three your blog" even meant. Apparently, I am not very cool or hip. After much research, I discovered that <3 is supposed to represent a heart. Awww, how sweet. I heart your blog too Rachel. Now it is my job to pass the award along to a few of my favorite blogs...

Fragmented Sentences and Incomplete Thoughts - I just started reading this blog, and it is fabulous. Not So Perfect is a great writer, who isn't afraid to discuss the tough stuff. I kind of like when people write about real life problems. I don't want to read about rainbows and unicorns all the damn time.

Antropologa (because I heart Eva) - Eva is my best blog friend (BBF). What? You don't have a best blog friend? Well BBFs are wonderful, so you definitely need to find one. In addition to being my BBF, Eva is also a terrific writer, with a beautiful little girl. Always a good read. And I am not just saying that because she is my BBF.

True Adventures of Super Hero Girl - Anth is getting ready to pop. Thats right, she is pregnant with baby number 2. She really is a super hero - she cooks and cleans and makes all kinds of fun crafts. She is amazing. Go check her out.

Mama Kalila - Mama Kalila just started her blog. She is fresh and excited to write. I love new blogs! So exciting!
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My friend C is watching Porgie and Izzy this weekend. Because I am totally boring, I am just going to go shopping for some new clothes. Seriously, I need to pack away the maternity clothes, because getting dressed is just depressing.
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My friend K just called and said that Target has valentine chocolates for 90% off. That is crazy cheap, so I have to pack up the kids and get my ass over there. Bye.

It comes and goes

Some days, I wake up in a sour and bitchy mood - a horrible way to start the day. For no particular reason, I feel overwhelmingly sad and angry and frustrated. I don't want to get out of bed. I want to crawl under the blankets and hide.

When I do get out of bed, I am mean and cranky. I snap at Porgie repeatedly, and I let Izzy cry a little longer than I should.

When the day is done, and I am lying in bed, I recount the events, with guilt and regret. Why did I get angry at Porgie for not eating breakfast? Why did I let Izzy cry in his swing for 15 minutes?

I tell myself that tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I will be the mother I want to be. And sometimes I am better the next day. And sometimes I am not.

Recently, my mother sent me a card. It was titled, "How to Make a Beautiful Life." When I read the card, I was stroke by one part in particular - "Love yourself. Make peace with who you are and where you are at this moment in time."

In those moments of madness, when I feel like screaming or crying, I have been repeating this phrase. I am trying to make peace with myself, and come to terms with the fact that I am not perfect. My life is not perfect. My children are not perfect.

Even when I want to hide under the blankets, I will get out of bed and I will take care of my babies, because I am trying to make a beautiful life for my little family.

Traumatized

Sunday started out like any other day. Porgie woke up, she ate a bowl of cereal, and she happily played with her toys. Around 11:30, John put her down for her nap, while I put Izzy down for his nap. I thought our plan was perfect. We were going to enjoy some baby free time.

However, this dream was quickly dismissed. Porgie refused to go to sleep. She played for a while. Then she talked to herself. Then she laughed at all the hilarious things that she was saying. And then she whined until she fell asleep at 1:15. She was awake in her crib for almost 2 hours.

Although I didn't want to do it, I woke Porgie up at 2:15. If she sleeps much past 2:00, she usually has a hard time going to sleep at night. She seemed fine for most of the day, so I thought we were golden. Around 5:00, John decided to wash her beloved blanket, Night-night. Although this is always a risky move, the blanket was filthy and really needed to be cleaned.

For the first hour, Porgie didn't realize that Night-night was missing. Around 6:00, she started getting really fussy. By 6:30, she was driving everyone insane with her whiny attitude. I asked John to give her a bath and get her ready for bed. I thought her blanket would definitely be dry by the time she finished her bath.

I got her undressed, and she happily ran into the bathroom. John lifted her into the tub, and suddenly she started screaming for Night-night. Nothing could console her. She was crying so hard, she started gagging. I ran down to the basement, and opened the dryer. Her blanket was still very wet. Yes, her blanket was WET, and she was having a meltdown, and I had no idea how to fix the situation.

John got her out of the tub and dressed her for bed. Porgie was still screaming uncontrollably. She proceeded to walk around the house yelling, "Night-night," while hot tears streamed down her cheeks. We tried to tell her that Night-night went bye-bye. We tried giving her other blankets. We tried holding her and rocking her. Nothing worked.

When we were at our wits end, John ran down to the basement and retrieved her damp blanket from the dryer. Yes, we sent her to bed with a wet blanket. And all was right with the world again.

Porgie and Night-night

My baby isn't THAT fat

Remember when I told you that Izzy was too fat for his swing? As it turns out, the motor just went bad. Right after the swing broke, John contacted Graco. They sent us a new motor last week, and now the swing works perfectly.

This is great, except for the fact that we already bought a new swing. The new swing was pretty expensive (about $100). I really want to take the new swing back to Target. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the swing, so John thinks we should just keep it. Would it be so awful to lie and say that the swing doesn't work? Its not like the people at Target are going to set the swing up to make sure I am telling the truth.

In closing, $100 is a lot of money and we don't need two swing. What should I do?

I have gone meme CRAZY.

I thought that this was a cute meme. The idea is that you answer each question with a picture found on the first page of results. Some of them are pretty funny.

1) The age you will be at your next Birthday. This requires you to count the heads, you lazy people.

2) A place you'd like to visit. Nothing says exotic getaway like Kentucky - right?

3) Your favorite place. Of course, you expected me to post a picture of the beach. But lets be realistic, I am not going to the beach any time soon.
4)Your favorite object. I don't know whose kid that is - I just like the thing he is sitting in. Izzy sleeps in his for naps and nighttime.
5) Your favorite food. I almost posted a picture of pop tarts. Both taste heavenly.
6) Your favorite animal. Yes, I am very boring. You probably wanted to see a picture of a three legged dog or something.
7) Your favorite color. I have a slight obsession with this color. Well, not this specific shade. I prefer a mossy color.
8) The city in which you were born. Who the hell are these people? This is the first picture that came up when I typed in the name of the city. Apparent I was born in a flower garden, and these two love birds witnessed my birth.
9) The town in which you live. Really? I have drove around town many times, and I have never seen this building. All I see are crappy little ranch styles houses.
10) The name of your pet. What is my deal with potatoes today?
11) The first name of your love. This is self explanatory - right?
12) Your nickname/screen name. When I typed in my nickname, I was greeted with multiple pictures of my own offspring. How lovely.
13) Your middle name. Gross.
14) Your last name. AWESOME.
15) A bad habit of yours.
16) Your first job. No, I didn't design video games. Look closer.
17) Your dream job. They are not rats with long tails.
18) Your current job. Yes, my job is to draw cutesy pictures of ducks.
19) A picture you find hilarious. I don't know why this picture is so small. Here is the link.
20) Something that inspires you. Not these specific babies.

lullaby

A few months ago, I bought Porgie a book of nursery rhymes. I purchased the book mainly for the illustrations. The pictures were made from fabric and were lovingly stitched together. It was a beautiful little book. When we got home, I put the book in Porgie's closet, with the intention of giving it to her for Christmas. I quickly forgot about the book, and it sat idly on the shelf for 3 months.

A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon the book while Porgie and I were playing in her room. I pulled the book down, and handed it to my baby girl. Her eyes lit up with excitement as she turned the pages in the book. We sat down together, and I sang her a few lullabies. Porgie loved it. She rested her little head on my chest and sucked her thumb, content and happy to hear her mommy's voice.

Without fail, Porgie carries this book into the livingroom everyday. She hoists it onto the couch, and then she crawls onto my lap. I sing a few songs, while Porgie snuggles against me. Without a doubt, these few minutes spent singing lullabies have been some of the sweetest and most precious moments in my life.

Stream of Consciousness: Part 3

As it turns out, John and I didn't go out alone this weekend. My friend's husband was out of town this week, so I decided not to dump my kids on them as soon as he arrived home. And next weekend they are traveling to RI to visit her family. But they promised that they will watch our kids the weekend after that. Hopefully nothing else will come up before then.
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Izzy is still waking up every two hours at night. I try not to complain too much, since he is a newborn, but damn I am tired. I have been going to bed at 8 pm, and I still wake up exhausted in the morning.
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Personally, I found the 12-18 month age range to be delightful. My baby girl was so sweet and gentle and loving. However, things are starting to change. At 20 months, Porgie is being a bully. She has started demanding things - usually things we don't want her to have. When we fail to give her what she wants, Porgie whines and cries and slaps her little hand down on the table. It is very annoying. On more than one occasion, I have felt a slight urge to slap her little butt. I am not ready for the terrible twos.
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I have started crocheting a scarf for little Izzy. When I am done, I am going to start on those gifts I promised to make. It might take me awhile, but I'll definitely get them done in the next few months. Honestly, I should have made them while I was pregnant, but I was too busy eating M&Ms and watching television.
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John took Porgie to the grocery store Sunday morning while Izzy was napping. I was looking forward to having some alone time. Of course, Izzy promptly woke up screaming. I think my children can sense when I am about to do something non-baby related.
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Sometimes my husband is a selfish asshole. Twice this past weekend, John acted like he was too busy to watch the kids for a few minutes while I used the restroom. Seriously. AHHHH! He drives me INSANE.
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My birthday is tomorrow. If John forgets, you'll see my picture on the evening news.
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And finally, I have a question for you. If Hillary becomes president, how will the media refer to Bill? The president's wife is usually "the first lady." Will Bill be "the first gentleman?"

A nap pattern? Should I even be talking about this?

Every time I write about sleep patterns, things change drastically in my household. So, I am almost afraid to write about sleep. But I am so excited, I have to share this news with you. Izzy has been taking 4 fairly consistent naps. Have I mentioned that I am a creature of habit, and love routines? Having a predictable schedule means the world to me.

Two of these naps last an hour or two. The other two last only 30 to 45 minutes. I would say that he is getting at least 4 to 5 hours of sleep during the day. This has helped to improve his mood (and my mood). I really hope that this isn't a fluke, because things have been going so smoothly in my household lately. I am really starting to love having two babies.

Let me clarify that last statement. Of course, I love and adore both of my babies. But for a while, life wasn't very fun. I was overwhelmed and overtired and a little sad. Although I am still overtired, I don't feel nearly as overwhelmed or sad. In fact, most days I feel quite happy. I laugh and smile and kiss my babies. Life is good and I am grateful for everything that I have.

Tummy Time

The truth of the matter

Wasn't that game fun? I got a kick out of reading your guesses, and I loved playing along on other people's blogs too. Very fun!

Below, I have listed which statements are true and which ones are false. Eva was the first person to guess correctly, so I owe her one awesome gift. Actually, I now owe her two gifts. I need to get my ass in gear.

1. I read the newspaper every morning. Honestly, I don't even feed Porgie breakfast until I finish the paper. Lie. I never read the newspaper. NEVER. However, I do watch CNN for an hour every morning while I am feeding Porgie breakfast.

2. When I first started dating my husband, he had blue hair. He was awesome! This is true. When John and I first met, he had cobalt blue hair. I thought he was the coolest guy I had ever met.

3. I shave my legs at least once a week. If I don't, I feel gross. This is a big fat lie. I haven't shaved my legs since my 6 week postpartum check-up - 5 weeks ago. Yes, I am hairy.

4. My favorite food in the whole world is shrimp. Yum! Of course this is a lie, I am a vegetarian. My favorite food is mashed potatoes.

5. John and I moved in together while I was still in high school. This is true. For weeks, I was living in a house with no electricity and no running water. Obviously, my mother wasn't a very good mother. John saved my ass. If it wasn't for him, who knows what would have happened to me.

6. My husband is 10 years older than me. This is a lie. However, John in 7 years older than me.

7. Porgie is named after my mother. This is the biggest lie of all. Did you read #5?

8. I love to cook. I am always in the kitchen trying out new recipes. Lie. I do occasionally cook, but I never enjoy it.

6 lies, 2 truths

Here is a little game for all of my blogging friends, which I stole from Chas. Below are six lies and two truths about little old me. Can you guess which two statements are true?

1. I read the newspaper every morning. Honestly, I don't even feed Porgie breakfast until I finish the paper.

2. When I first started dating my husband, he had blue hair. He was awesome!

3. I shave my legs at least once a week. If I don't, I feel gross.

4. My favorite food in the whole world is shrimp. Yum!

5. John and I moved in together while I was still in high school.

6. My husband is 10 years older than me.

7. Porgie is named after my mother.

8. I love to cook. I am always in the kitchen trying out new recipes.

A few of these statements are so wrong, it is almost funny. The first person to correctly identify the two truths will receive a very awesome gift.

So, lets see who knows me best!

Stream of Consciousness: Part 2

I had a dream last night that I was pregnant AGAIN. I was in the hospital, getting ready for my c-section. I had to share my room with Ana Nicole Smith and my obstetrician was Cher. How weird is that?
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We bought Izzy a new swing. It plugs into the wall instead of using batteries. It still won't push him very fast and he looks pretty frustrated every time I put him in it. I think he likes his old swing better, but what can we do? I guess he'll get used to it eventually.
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In an attempt to ease Porgie into the new nursing arrangement (nursing in Izzy's room), I have installed one baby gate. The first night, she stood at the gate crying, even though she could still get to the back of the house by going around the kitchen. I guess she really wanted to go down the hall, because it was quit dramatic. John is going to install the second baby gate this weekend. Then, Porgie will officially be trapped in the livingroom/dinning room area. She is going to be very pissed.
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I was supposed to go on a playdate yesterday afternoon. However, both of my babies were alseep in the afternoon. Those moments are so rare, that I had to cancel the playdate. Hopefully my friend C will understand.
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Izzy has become the king of catnaps. I have been attempting to put him down to sleep every two hours. This is a great plan, except for the fact that he will only sleep of 30-45 minutes. Its kind of irritating, but at least he is napping.
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I bought a book on potty training, just to get some information (I am not ready to embark on the potty training rollercoaster just yet). I was surprised to read that most kids aren't potty trained until age 3. Moreover, most kids can't effectively wipe after a bowel movement until age 4. Very interesting.
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I think I am going to start regularly doing stream of conscious type post, like this one. It is fun to write little snippets about the first things that pop into my head. What do you think?

Babies everywhere!

We watched my friend's daughter, who I'll call Bunny, on Saturday. Surprisingly, adding one more kid to the mix wasn't all that difficult. The only time Bunny cried was when John tried to feed her a snack, and her tantrum was short lived. Porgie didn't know what to think of her. She avoided Bunny for the majority of the day, preferring to hang out in the livingroom instead of the playroom.

Bunny's presence made me think about a possible baby number three. It really wasn't any more difficult to care for three children, than it is to care for two children. I wonder if you are so crazy after having two kiddos, that a third one wouldn't even phase you?

Of course, I am nowhere near ready to have another baby. Actually, I am not even ready to have sex yet. Way too scary. At my six week check-up, I got a prescription for the mini pill, but I never had the prescription filled. I am afraid that the pill will affect my milk supply. So, I have decided to practice abstinence instead. I think John might have a problem with this plan, but we are both too tired to even discuss it.

Mr. fatty McButter Pants strikes again!

I can't believe it, but Izzy is already too fat for his swing. I plopped him down in it yesterday to calm his fussy little butt. After swinging for about 30 seconds, it gradually slowed down until it was no longer moving. I thought it was a fluke. I pushed the swing again. Same result. Is it just me or is anyone else a little disturbed by his hugeness?

Don't tease me. I am sensitive about my weight.

Mystery woman...

On Wednesday's post, several people asked to see pictures of my new hairdo. Have you all learned nothing yet? I do not post pictures of myself on the internet. And no, my children's real names are not Porgie and Izzy. I know that you are dieing to know more about me and my offspring, but you are just going to have to suffer. I am all mysterious and shit.

So, I have no pictures to post of my beautiful hair. However, I do have a few photos to share. I take lots of pictures of my babies. On any given day, I snap at least 10 pictures. And although I have captured tons of adorable smiles, I have also managed to capture lots of crap. Case in point...


I have to go. My friend is getting ready to drop off her daughter. I am sure she would appreciate it if I didn't blog for the entire two hours her kid is here. See you later alligators!

Just one more baby

Although I have plenty of babies in my household, I have agreed to watch one more on Saturday. John and I are going to watch my friend's daughter this weekend, and she is going to watch both of my babies next weekend. I am pretty excited about this arrangement. I haven't stopped talking about it all week.

John and I have never had a day alone together since Porgie was born. Not even once. Honestly, I am not sure what we are going to do with all of our free time. I am thinking that I might just sit on the couch or take a nap or get in the shower. All I want are the simple things in life. The things that people without children take for granted.

Of course, I am all talk this week. Next week, I'll be fretting and worrying about leaving my babies in someone else's care. I don't think I'll have a problem leaving Porgie, but I know I will worry about little Izzy. He needs his mama's boobs.

Even if I do start having doubts, remind me that we NEED this time alone desperately. Remind me that my babies will not starve to death after a few hours without me. Remind me that I want to sit on the damn couch and just zone out.

I am counting on you internet friends. Don't let me down!