People are always changing. We are constantly in motion, moving from one phase of our lives to the next. My life has changed dramatically in the past few years. I can honestly say, without a doubt, having kids has been the best phase of my life. However, I can't help but feel like I have lost something along the way.
I no longer feel feminine, girly, or pretty. I don't know how to phrase this exactly, but I no longer feel like I am attractive (to anyone - even my husband). And the most disturbing part is that I don't really even care. I never wear makeup anymore. I rarely buy new clothes. And I am a little pudgier than I need to be.
Although I have been fairly at peace with my lackluster appearance, something has been bothering me lately - my hair. When I look in the mirror, I see my mother's unruly and disheveled mane. It is everything - the color, the cut, the texture. And it disturbs me on so many levels.
This realization has awoken something inside of me. Why have I let myself go? If I don't like what I see in the mirror, then I need to change it. First up is my hair - I need to have it cut and dyed (For the past several months, I have been skipping the dye to save money). Next, I am going to work on shedding a few pounds. Although I personally don't really have a problem with my weight right now, I know that I could stand to shed a few pounds. And it is almost summer, so bathing suit season is just around the corner. Finally, I am going to start wearing a little makeup everyday. Hopefully it will make me feel a little more put together and maybe, just maybe, a little more feminine and girly and pretty. And I think that is exactly what I need right now.