Here is a list of things you SHOULD NOT do with your Halloween jack-o-lantern...
1. Do not carve your pumpkin 2 weeks before Halloween.
2. Do not ignore the rotting, stinky pumpkin on your doorstep because Halloween is only 2 days away (I was so sure we could make it! I was wrong).
3. Do not touch your rotten pumpkin. Bugs will swarm out, and they will scare the shit out of you.
4. Do not make the decision to throw away the rotten pumpkin, because then you will be responsible for the disgusting clean-up.
5. And lastly (but most importantly), do not attempt to pick up your rotting pumpkin. It will disintegrate in your hands, while maggots and flies desperately try to escape.
You can trust me on this one. I learned the hard way.