Halloween Cupcakes

We were invited to a little get together yesterday at my friend's house. Because I am little miss Suzie Homemaker, I decided to bring some Halloween themed cupcakes...

Happy Halloween!

Words of wisdom

Here is a list of things you SHOULD NOT do with your Halloween jack-o-lantern...

1. Do not carve your pumpkin 2 weeks before Halloween.

2. Do not ignore the rotting, stinky pumpkin on your doorstep because Halloween is only 2 days away (I was so sure we could make it! I was wrong).

3. Do not touch your rotten pumpkin. Bugs will swarm out, and they will scare the shit out of you.

4. Do not make the decision to throw away the rotten pumpkin, because then you will be responsible for the disgusting clean-up.

5. And lastly (but most importantly), do not attempt to pick up your rotting pumpkin. It will disintegrate in your hands, while maggots and flies desperately try to escape.

You can trust me on this one. I learned the hard way.

Stuff

John's boss is in New Jersey for the week, so he took our family out to dinner last night. AWESOME. I love free food. However, I couldn't actually eat much because of my freaking braces. Every time I took a bite of my veggie burger, tons of bread would become lodged under the arch wire. It was gross, and I was feeling a little self-conscious with this unfamiliar person sitting across from me. Gah. I ended up taking almost my entire meal home with me (which I promptly ate as soon as I was in the comfort of my own home). Damn braces.

In completely unrelated news, Porgie has officially learned how to use scissors. We have been working on this skill FOREVER. For the longest time, Porgie insisted on holding the scissors upside down and tilted in at an odd angle. I tried repeatedly to show her the correct way to hold scissors, but she just refused to listen to my advice. She is left handed, so I thought that perhaps she needed left handed scissors. But that didn't really seem to help the problem. After watching some online tutorials (approximately 138 times), something clicked in her little brain. I can now give her a cut and past activity, and she completes it independently. It is great. Now, if only I could convince her to wipe her own ass, we would be all set.

Double blah

My husband has been working insane hours lately. The kids have not seen him seen Sunday. It stinks. It especially stinks, because my kids are so darn sick. Izzy is really suffering with this cold. My baby boy coughs constantly, his fever keeps spiking, and he has no appetite. I hasn't eaten a full meal since last Friday. Usually 4 or 5 bites in, he starts complaining that his belly hurts. Then he goes into the living-room to lay on the couch. It is so sad to watch because Izzy LOVES food. My little guy is really REALLY sick.

We had lots of fun Halloween activities planned for this week that we won't be attending. I am kind of bummed. Additionally, the weather has been really warm lately, and we are stuck in the darn house moping and crying and wiping runny noses. Blah. Hopefully the kids will be feeling better by Sunday.

And so it starts

My children are sick. Porgie came down with the a cough and runny nose on Thursday afternoon. It appeared to be a relatively minor cold, nothing too dramatic. On Saturday morning, Izzy started looking a little green around the gills. He couldn't eat lunch, and he asked to take a nap. That is right, my 2 year old asked me to put him to bed!

Thirty minutes later Izzy was vomiting all over his bed. Thirty minutes after that, he was vomiting on his bed again. Thirty minutes later he was vomiting on my couch. Ugh. This went on all afternoon. My baby boy couldn't even hold down water. It was bad.

Then suddenly around 5pm, Izzy seemed to be in good spirits again. He ate part of a veggie burger and drank a cup of water. I expected the worst, but he kept everything down. He went for a walk around the block, played running games with Porgie, and spent over an hour playing with a flashlight (our electricity was out for two hours on Saturday evening).

On Sunday his nose ran like a faucet. He literally whined for me to wipe his nose from the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep. And then the vomiting started again. It wasn't true vomiting. It was just watery, filmy stuff, but Izzy was still miserable.

And now we are suffering from a horrible, nasty cough and the world's runniest nose. The moral of this story is that I am tired. And sick of cleaning up vomit. And sick of wiping noses. The end.

Pumpkin pie!

My pumpkin pie was delicious. Seriously - the best vegan pumpkin pie I have ever had. John and I have attempted vegan pumpkin pie every Thanksgiving, and it has always been too runny. But this pie? PERFECT. So, I thought I would give you the recipe (you know, just in case you decide to go vegan - or if someone in your family is vegan - or maybe just because you don't have any eggs in the house.)

Vegan Pumpkin Pie: A Novel

First things first, you need a medium sized pumpkin. Cut the pumpkin in half and scrap out the stringy guts and seeds. Next, place the pumpkin pieces in a shallow baking dish (with the open part facing down), cover with foil, and bake at 350 degrees for about 2 hours. When the pumpkin is nice and soft, scrap the pumpkin flesh out and throw the skin away. Now, this is where it can get a little tricky. My pumpkin was VERY watery. So, I placed it in a fine mesh strainer and let it sit for about an hour (I actually made my crust during this time). If you don't have a fine mesh strainer, I read that you can also use cheesecloth. Finally, I mashed the pumpkin with a potato masher for a few minutes. At this point you are ready to make your pie!

This is the recipe I used for the crust. Please note that is it for a double crust, so there will be a little extra. I placed the extra dough in the freezer to use for my next pie.

Finally, the pie filling...

2 cups pumpkin
1 1/4 cups milk (I use soymilk)
3/4 cups brown sugar
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground allspice
1/4 tsp. ground cloves
3 tbsp. cornstarch
1/2 tsp. lemon extract
Pinch of salt

Add salt, spices, and cornstarch to pumpkin and stir. Then add the brown sugar, milk, and lemon extract. Mix well. Pour into the unbaked pie shell. Bake at 450 degrees for 10 minutes, then lower to 350 degrees and cook for 1 hour. Serve with whipped cream (or vanilla ice cream!).

Enjoy!

I am awesome. SERIOUSLY!

I am like the BEST housewife ever. Seriously, I have been rocking this housewife gig lately. Behold my latest creation...That would be homemade pumpkin pie. And not pumpkin out of a can! No, I baked a pumpkin, scraped out the flesh, pureed everything, and then baked a pie (with a crust made from scratch too, of course). Gosh, I am so darn AWESOME!

Eating lips

Porgie and Izzy had another 6 month dentist check-up/cleaning today. The good news is that everyone was well behaved. The bad news is that my baby girl had a cavity between her back molars. Apparently I am not flossing between her teeth often enough (okay, I have NEVER flossed between her teeth). Oddly enough, I was very disturbed by the cavity. Somehow, I felt like I had failed her. The dentist repeatedly assured me that is wasn't a big deal and that they could fill it right away.

Fifteen minutes later Porgie was all fixed up, and we were ready to leave ($180 poorer). The dentist told me to have Porgie chew on a piece of gauze, because children often bite on their lips when they're numb. We promptly left the office and drove to Target for a special treat for my brave little girl.

Although she kept the gauze in her mouth while we were picking out our treat, I noticed that the gauze was suddenly very pink. I took it out of her mouth, and I seen her gnawed up, bloody lip. I literally gasped in horror, which made Porgie cry. Despite chewing on the gauze, she had taken chucks of flesh out of her bottom lip. I hugged my baby girl tightly, and we headed home.

This afternoon Porgie's lip is causing her lots of pain. She alternates between whining and rolling around on the floor in misery. I feel so bad for her. Mommy fail # 3,445,678.

You love hearing about my teeth - right?

I had another ortho appointment yesterday. Holy crap, my teeth are throbbing today. These powerchains are really kicking my butt. I tried to eat a Hersey chocolate bar last night, but it was just too painful to eat chocolate. Too painful to eat chocolate! You know that is REALLY REALLY painful because I love me some Hersey's chocolate.

The gap between my two front teeth is officially closed. I have been pointing this out to everyone, because no-one seems to notice. And frankly, it is really pissing me off! My husband never noticed until I mentioned it. Then he told me that he liked the gap between my front teeth, which just made me question why I am even doing all of this. Of course I am doing this for ME, but John's opinion is definitely important to me. Especially what he finds attractive.

Other than that, things have been going smoothly in the braces department. After months of very little progress, my teeth are finally moving and changing. My midline on top and bottom almost matches up, which is another huge milestone. I have also noticed some improvement with my overbite. It is all very exciting!

Wardobe

For the past few months, I have been buying new clothes for the winter. I bought some jeans on clearance at Old Navy in the summer ($6 a pair!). They were a little snug, but I was confident that they would fit perfect by November. I have also been buying shirts whenever I see something cheap and cute.

I haven't really talked about it much, but after I got my braces in April, I made the decision to lose some weight. I was just feeling overwhelming unattractive with my fat rolls and my metal mouth. For the past 6 months, I have been a super star dieter. I have been eating less, exercising more, and eater smaller desserts. Yes, I still eat dessert every night. Without dessert, I would fall off the diet band wagon within a week.

After all of this hard work, I have almost reached my goal weight. I am nearly the same size I was in high school. GASP! Every time I step on the scale, I get a little giddy. And it motivates me even more to follow my diet. It has been a wonderful cycle, and frankly, it is not something I am used to. Usually my diets work in the opposite direction - I get discouraged because I am not losing weight, therefore I eat more and gain weight.

With the cooler weather approaching, I decided to try on all of my new clothes I have been buying. I was super excited about the prospect of not wearing a belt with my jeans. But things did not go exactly as I had planned. My clothes are too big. My pretty new clothes that I have been scrimping and saving to buy for months, don't even fucking fit me! The shirts are definitely do able, but my pants are just HUGE. I have mentioned before that I have no ass. This is a major problem when it comes to buying pants. If my jeans are even slightly big, the ass of my pants is all saggy and horrible looking. I need tight fitting jeans to make my ass look good.

I should have saved all my receipts, but I didn't. I keep having crazy, irrational thoughts about maybe gaining 5-10 pounds back. I know I am being annoying, "Woe is me, I lost too much weight." But for me, half the joy of losing weight is getting to buy new cute clothes that fit my new cute body. So, I am disappointed.

Jack-O-Lanterns

On Saturday we went pumpkin picking...

Then we had some yummy donuts from the farm bakery...

Next we drew faces on our pumpkins, and Daddy helped us crave them...






Last, we put candles inside and watched them glow in the darkness...

And a good time was had by all:0)

Need sleep

This week has been kind of crazy. On a whim, I decided that I wasn't going to buy nighttime diapers anymore. Because I am a naive asshole, I was fairly confident that after a few days of pissing in their beds, my children would start to wake up dry. STOP LAUGHING AT ME INTERNET!

I know, I know, I am a moron. I have not gotten a full nights sleep all week. At least once (and sometimes twice) per night I am changing bed sheets and underwear and PJs. Ugh. What in the hell was I thinking?

So, I am tired. And this was the best post I could come up with. Sorry friends...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

If I only had a brain...

I am losing my freaking mind. Seriously, I think I am in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's disease.

Yesterday I shaved my legs. Or at least, I thought I shaved my legs. Upon getting dressed, I realized that one of my legs was nice and smooth. The other leg was obviously very hairy. I only shaved one of my legs. Who does that? People with no brain, that is who!

About 30 minutes later I went to the basement to do some laundry. Both the washer and dryer were full of clothes. I took the laundry out of the dryer, closed the door, and then turned the machine on. I opened the washing machine and was confused to see all of my wet clothes. What did I just put in the dryer? NOTHING. I was drying NOTHING. The dryer was empty.

I am crossing my fingers that I can still remember how to cook dinner and operate my vehicle. Wish me luck!

Yummy yummy yummy I got good stuff in my tummy

This week I made almond cherry muffins...

homemade apple pie...
And last, but certainly not least, rum pudding cake...

In case you are wondering, why yes I am trying to gain 150 pounds. I plan on being morbidly obese by December. I am hopelessly addicted to sugar.

Acidophilus

I have suffered with tummy issues for years. I know this is too much information, but sometimes I go months with diarrhea. Basically whenever I eat food, I have to run to the bathroom. It got to the point where it was negatively affecting my life. I refused to eat unless I was home (or super close to home). If we were at the shore swimming or in Philadelphia for the day, I would just starve until we got home. Food = intense stomach cramps and diarrhea. And you already know the story with the yeast infections lately.

Anyways, I have been taking an acidophilus capsule with every meal for the last two weeks. Although I am kind of afraid to talk about it (for fear of jinxing myself), I have noticed a big improvement with my digestive tract. My stomach doesn't hurt every time I eat! And I don't have to run to the bathroom after every meal! Yay me! Don't get me wrong, acidophilus isn't a miracle. I have still had several diarrhea episodes in the past few weeks. But 2 episodes is much MUCH better than 14 episodes.

So all you ladies with tummy issues, I highly recommend buying some acidophilus.

Just talking

Yesterday was AWESOME. The fire house trip was a huge success. It was amazing really. There was lots of free food - cookies, fresh baked pretzels, ice cream, hot dogs, hot coco, and juice boxes. The kids were in hog heaven. There was also a big bounce house, rides on the fire truck, plastic fireman hats, and a visit from smokey the bear. This event did not occur in my tiny cash strapped town. No, it was held in a fancy schmancy town about 10 minutes from my house. I have to say, those rich people really know how to throw a fire prevention party. SO MUCH FUN!

Anyways, today we are attempting to go apple picking one last time. I know that we already went apple picking, but I wanted to go one more time before the season is over. Since we were rained out last week, we are going to go today. I think I am the only one even remotely interested in this activity. I told the kids that we were going apple picking again, and Izzy started whining to go to Target instead. Porgie said she wanted to watch TV. My kids are such typical Americans.

After our crazy busy week, I think I am just going to stay home this weekend. I need some time to rest and relax.

Busy bees

Today is going to be a super busy day for us. I need to go to the grocery store this morning. We are running dangerously low on milk. I also need to go to the dollar store for some essentials. This afternoon I am watching my friend's daughter. She is a great kid, so this isn't a big deal. I am actually looking forward to having another kid in the house for my children to play with. Porgie also has her ballet lessons this afternoon, which means that I will have to find some way to quietly entertain Izzy for 45 minutes. Ugh. John is working in New York City today, so he will most likely be home late due to traffic. Since Thursday is the one night that John makes dinner, this means that I will most likely get stuck cooking on his night. Grrrrr. After dinner we are supposed to meet some friends for a trip to the fire house for fire prevention night. We've never been, but I hear that they give the kids an actual ride around the block in the fire truck. A ride in the fire truck! How could we pass up that opportunity? So, today is going to be crazy busy. What is going on in your neck of the woods?

Fall Festival 2010

This weekend our town held their annual fall festival. We go every year, but this time was different. Porgie had so much fun. She rode EVERY SINGLE RIDE. And then she rode them all again. Izzy, on the other hand, was a little overwhelmed by the crowd. He clung to mommy and daddy (like a good LITTLE BABY should). We finished the festival with ice cream and pizza. It was a magical, wonderful day.

I love telling the internet about my lady parts

Today I want to talk about my recurrent yeast infections. Ugh. I have been doing a little research, and of course I have diagnosed myself with a specific type of infection. I think I have been suffering from a systemic yeast infection. I think I have mentioned my sensitive stomach issues in the past. According to the internet, that is often a sign of systemic yeast infections.

The first time I got a yeast infection, it started with a burning sensation when I urinated. It was painful and alarming. As the days passed, the itching started. Then it seemed to stop. Then it started again with a vengeance. I was MISERABLE. I had no idea that my vagina could be so sore, so red, so itchy. I went to the doctor and was given Diflucan. I noticed that after taking the Diflucan my problems went away. In addition to that, my sensitive stomach issues seemed to go away too. Unfortunately, a few weeks later my tummy troubles returned.

The second time I got a yeast infection (a mere 5 months later), I went to bed feeling completely and totally normal. I woke up at 5am with an all too familiar itch. MOTHER FUCKER! I knew what it was right away. There was no question in my mind - I had another yeast infection. This time I never experienced the burning sensation, however I did feel a strange pulsing sensation for several days, which was really bizarre. I once again took Diflucan. Within days I noticed an improvement with my symptoms, and once again my sensitive stomach issues disappeared too.

Here we are two weeks since treatment, and my tummy issues seem to be returning. So, I have started taking acidophilus with every meal. I am also eating PLAIN yogurt (gag) with live cultures everyday. And finally, I have started taking a multivitamin. The yogurt and the acidophilus supposedly help fight candida. The multivitamin is just my attempt to make sure I am as healthy as possible.

I feel like I am doing everything possible to avoid getting another infection. If this doesn't work, I guess I'll be heading back to the doctor's office. Any advice, words of wisdom?

What you got cooking?

Monday is baking day in Cakerwakerville. This week I made these delicious vegan pumpkin muffins. They really are some of the best pumpkin muffins I've ever tasted.


We were supposed to go apple picking again last Friday, but it rained all day. By that time, I was already craving apple crisp. Yesterday I headed to the grocery store for the ingredients. It turned out great. Of course, I topped the apple crisp with vanilla ice cream:)


This afternoon I need to bake some bread. Then we'll be set for the week!