Monday, May 3, 2010

Too much thinking for a Monday morning

I have been doing a lot of thinking about the future of our family. Are we done having kids? I always thought I wanted 4 kids, but now I am thinking that maybe 2 is a more realistic number. If we have more babies, where will they sleep? We literally do not have any room left in our house. Do I have the patience for more babies? Some days I feel like I can barely take care of my two rambunctious kiddos.

I keep telling myself that I still have time to sort everything out. But I worry about the age difference between my children. Porgie and Izzy are 17 months apart, and they are the best of friends. If we had another baby soon (which isn't likely), Izzy would be three years older and Porgie would be 4 years older. That gap doesn't sound too bad. But if we waited another couple years (which, if we were to have more children, would be much more likely) there will be a 5 or 6 year gap between the kids. That makes me sad.

I am the oldest of three children. I am 6 years older than brother #1 and 12 years older than brother #2. We aren't very close. In fact, I haven't talked to either of my brothers since Christmas of 08'. I know that having your children close together does not necessarily mean that they will be friends, but from my experience, I definitely think it improves the odds.

Money is also an issue. I have been complaining a lot about money lately, because we are trying to live debt free (which is really hard when you are trying to pay off credit card debt). Although times are tight right now, our financial situation will be much better in a few months. But still, kids are expensive.

And last, but certainly not least, there are differences in important parenting decisions between John and myself. My husband is very anti-vaccination. Every time I take the kids to the doctor, we end up fighting for days over vaccines. Do I really want to go through that all over again? I think not.

All of this leads me back to thinking that maybe we shouldn't have any more children. Yet at the same time, I know that we could make it work if we really wanted to.

Decisions, decisions.


Just Jiff said...

Yeah, my brother and I are 7 years apart and we have never had a relationship. Too far in age.

As for the anti-vaccination...well, I'll keep my opinion to myself but I think that more reading and research needs to be done on his part. :)

You're a great mom and the money/space/etc will come when it's needed. I know that's vague but things always work out.

Jenny said...

I hear you..My oldest sister and I are 7 years apart. We are close but not that close. I am closer with my sister who is 2 years older than me. That is the great debate in our house now. I would like #2 but Lew has been working long hours and I feel like a single parent right now.
But things will happen if they are meant to be and if you really want another child, I think there will be some sort of sign.

MK said...

The spacing thing... It can go both ways. I've seen families spaced closely that were good friends and ones that hated each other. Same w/ really spaced out families. My youngest sister is 10.5 years younger than me and we go back and forth lol.

The vax thing. That is hard. We don't have that one, but we have boy issues (that may be resolving themselves.. crossing fingers) that almost have me hoping the rest of our kids are girls lol. Is hard when you're not on the same page. Not something I expected until it came up.

Midwest Mommy said...

I have thoughts of a 3rd but I just feel done. If a surprise baby happens that is one thing but we are done planning.

allykat said...

I was the 'mistake' baby - a happy one my mother has added. So my brother is 9 years older than me and my sister is 6 years older than me. As kids were not close - my sister and I fought like cats and dogs, but I idolized my brother. As adults we are all very close, talk on the phone and tell each other our secrets and problems we need help with - just like I tell my best friends, I tell them. I just think it depends.

Laura McIntyre said...

There is 17 months between my girls to , this was planned.

We wanted 4 to and were going to wait till my dd2 was at least in nursery (they start at 3 here) then get pregnant and have another 2 close together .We figured it did not matter the age gap between 2 and 3 because 2 would have 1 and 3 would have 4 - if that makes any sense lol .
As it worked out fate had diffrent plans for us and number 3 was born 22m after his sister so we decided to stop there.

Good luck , its a hard choice sometimes

amanda said...

why do we do this to ourselves? why?

and for the record, yes it's too much for a monday - hope you are thinking less complicated things today :)