Friday, April 30, 2010

Wood destroying bastards

This has been a bad week for wood in my house. On Thursday morning, I walked into the kitchen and witnessed my son dragging his fork across my beautiful wooden table. I have had the same kitchen table for 10 years, and until Thursday, it was in pristine condition. Now my table is marred with tons of tiny scratches...
I hate to admit it, but I flipped the fuck out. I have accepted the destruction of my living room furniture. The couch is stained, the tables are scratched, and the carpet is gross. But my kitchen table? I just wasn't ready for it to be ruined. I took it very hard.

On Friday we went out to the back yard to play. While sitting on my lovely swing, I noticed that little pieces of wood were scattered across the top of the play-set. My eyes followed the trail of wood shavings to the top of the clubhouse. A fucking squirrel has been gnawing the shit out of our fabulous, high quality, still-isn't-completely-paid-for swing set. I just wanted to cry...

Kids and rodents - they are nothing but trouble! Little bastards.

9 comments:

Natalie said...

Hi! Found you through Happenings of a little Bubba's blog. I read your this post and LOVED it! My little angel has taken a fork to our kitchen table that has tiles on it and picked all the silicone out of the lines and chipped tiles! I also flipped out. I am your newest follower - thanks for the laugh :)

allykat said...

As my friend Jo Ann from NC says (imagine southern accent here) "Don't have anything you love, if you have kids, cause they'll just wreck it!" Ain't that the damn truth! Don't worry about flipping out - you are normal and that's why I love your blog.

Jenny said...

You are so right on all accounts! My sweet little Will has totally ruined our living room furniture...
I needed a laugh this morning!

Laura McIntyre said...

KIDS , who would have them :)

Hope this is the last of the destruction around your home

antropologa said...

I"m sorry buddy. I'm kind of suspecting all this fixing-up-the-house here will make it even worse when things inevitably get messed up.

Just Jiff said...

OMG! I would've been so pissed about it too!!

Squirrels eff up everything. shoot the little bastards (the squirrels, not the kids)

Paula said...

Sorry to hear about your table!! Look for "Liquid Gold" in your grocery store or Target. Rub a little on your table and it will look much better!

Rachel said...

You are so funny. Yes thank goodness we have tile because all of the playing that my kids do would have destroyed wood floors and yes the damn rodents-screw them..

amanda said...

i am guessing said squirrel might just get a beebee shot up his butt.