Thursday, May 6, 2010

I am done complaining about Porgie. I have bigger fish to fry.

Okay, that is enough complaining about my daughter. She hates ballet and pooping on the potty - big deal! My life could be a lot worse. But it felt good to get those feelings off my chest. Geez, kids are so frustrating sometimes.

Now I want to talk about my braces. A few of my teeth still hurt, which I think is really strange. It has been 3 weeks since I had my braces put on, but my lateral incisors and one of my front teeth are still achy. The front tooth hurts the most. In response to this pain, I have started having nightmares about my teeth. Last night I dreamed that half of my front tooth chipped off while I was eating, and my back teeth were squishy. They literally felt like marshmallows. In my dream I was really panicked. I woke up sweating and shaking. How weird is that? But it seemed so real.

I also want to discuss my growing hatred for squirrels. Those little fuckers won't stop chewing on our swingset. GAH! Every time I walk into our backyard, I can feel my blood pressure rise. They have chewed away most of the spindles. They have nibbled the entire picnic table area. They have even been chewing on the framework. Why? Why would squirrels want to eat our swingset? The part that pisses me off the most is that we haven't even finished paying for the fucking thing. By the time we have the swingset paid in full, it won't even be sturdy enough for the kids to play on. Fucking squirrels.

And finally, let's talk about Amazon. I've mentioned on here before that I am obsessed with the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlene Harris. I LOVE them. The latest book was scheduled to be released on May 4th. So, I pre-ordered the book from Amazon in April. Today is the 6th, and Amazon still hasn't shipped my fucking book. Grrrrr. I WANT MY SOOKIE STACKHOUSE BOOK! DON'T THOSE FUCKER KNOW THAT MY DAUGHTER WON'T POOP ON THE POTTY, MY TEETH HURT, AND SQUIRRELS ARE EATING MY SWING SET?

I think I need a stiff drink.


MK said...


That is very odd about the swingset lol.

Eva said...

As you know I had extensive dental work, and it's been ten years since it has been completed, and only in recent years have I stopped having tooth nightmares. I sympathize.

Maybe paint some poison on your swingset? And hope it doesn't rain and your kids don't lick the wood?

Alicia W. said...

I had a day to browse some blogs and stopping by to say hello to you was a MUST! Hope you and the fam are doing great.

amanda said...

i love when you yell in all caps.

i mean i am sorry that you are yelling bc it means you aren't happy. but i love when you yell.

i sometimes think i can hear you all the way over here.

hoping you get that stiff drink this weekend.

ps - happy mama day

Marni's Organized Mess said...

Blah on the teeth. Curse on the fucking squirrels and DAMN IT on the book! I don't read it, but I know so many people who are obsessed with them. Hope it comes soon to make your day!

Sarah said...

Paint some RedHot Chilli onto the playset? I doubt Squirrels would like that?
Not that I know much about Squirrels?
I know dogs dont, lol
Coming from Australia :)