Surrender

I lost. My kids are evil masterminds, who could take over the world if that was their desire. They conspire against me. And they ALWAYS win.

So Porgie didn't want to poop on the potty. She went 4 days without relieving herself, and then I caved and put a diaper on her. She pooped right away. We went back to underwear, and once again she wouldn't poop. On the 3rd day without poop (yesterday), I called the Pediatrician's office to see if they had any advice. The doctor said that withholding poop will lead to chronic constipation, and to just go back to diapers. I thought this was stupid advice, because it felt like we were taking a step backward instead of moving forward. I got off the phone, and asked Porgie if she wanted to wear a diaper or big kid underwear. She said diapers. I told her that only babies wear diapers, and she happily agreed while running to get a diaper. So, I put a diaper on her, and we went to story time.

Of course, she decided she had to poop in the middle of story time. She stunk up the entire book store. Then Izzy said he had to poop too (he was in underwear). So, I took both kids to the bathroom. I went to sit Izzy on the toilet when I realized he had already shit in his underwear. It was everywhere. Down both legs, on his socks, inside his fucking boots. I wanted to curl up in a ball and die.

And now, I just want to forget that we ever even tried to potty train. I admit defeat.