Wednesday, January 20, 2010


I lost. My kids are evil masterminds, who could take over the world if that was their desire. They conspire against me. And they ALWAYS win.

So Porgie didn't want to poop on the potty. She went 4 days without relieving herself, and then I caved and put a diaper on her. She pooped right away. We went back to underwear, and once again she wouldn't poop. On the 3rd day without poop (yesterday), I called the Pediatrician's office to see if they had any advice. The doctor said that withholding poop will lead to chronic constipation, and to just go back to diapers. I thought this was stupid advice, because it felt like we were taking a step backward instead of moving forward. I got off the phone, and asked Porgie if she wanted to wear a diaper or big kid underwear. She said diapers. I told her that only babies wear diapers, and she happily agreed while running to get a diaper. So, I put a diaper on her, and we went to story time.

Of course, she decided she had to poop in the middle of story time. She stunk up the entire book store. Then Izzy said he had to poop too (he was in underwear). So, I took both kids to the bathroom. I went to sit Izzy on the toilet when I realized he had already shit in his underwear. It was everywhere. Down both legs, on his socks, inside his fucking boots. I wanted to curl up in a ball and die.

And now, I just want to forget that we ever even tried to potty train. I admit defeat.


Mama Kalila said...

Oh I am sorry! I'm coming to hate potty training myself. I seriously don't think that the books, websites, or even most of the parents who've been there quite get across how difficult it is. I have moments where I'm so proud of Kalila, where she's doing great... and then the next day... shit hits the fan. And if we had a fan that would be literally.

Just Jiff said...

Bless your heart. :(

I wish I would've been there to help you.

We're sorta introducing Bayley to potty training and I'm resisting as much as possible. I just DONT want to go through it.

Jenny said...

yikes girl! for your sanity i hope they get potty trained sooner than later. maybe one day they'll just do it.

i would have totally helped you out too!

Jeninacide said...

OMG. I do not want to potty train. You have convinced me to put it off as long as possible. Perhaps until first grade. Or college.

Heather @ boy, girl, and a pug said...

Potty training is definiately one of the most difficult moments of parenting!

I would say Izzy just isn't ready, but Porgie? She's just being a stubborn little stinker!

With Kyler I used a toy book and let him pick out one toy and told him when he started pottying and pooping in the potty like a big boy we would go buy it. Took about 4 days for him to figure it out and we went and bought it about 2 weeks later. If he had multiple accidents in a day I took the toy away. I only had to take it away once!

Good luck. It will happen. Promise:)

Clare said...

good luck friend, i promise it will get better. i can't imagine trying to do two little ones at the same time!!

amanda said...

and this is exactly why i don't even want to start!! that will sooo happen to me and then i will just lay down on the gross bathroom floor and cry. and then i will finally manage to call joe and make him leave work and come and get me.

i am sooooo sorry friend. i seriously don't have words. soooo sorry.

Chris said...

Oh. That stinks! {literally} Don't worry about Izzy.... I guess boys take longer anyway! And hopefully Porgie will quit being so darn stubborn!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Oh honey - just let them wear diapers and don't worry about it. You don't see Kindergarteners wearing diapers. It will happen - but they have to be ready. I can understand that you really will need to motivate Porgie sooner - but Izzy can wait. Boys typically take longer than girls and most are well into their threes by the time they are fully potty trained.

Personally - I find that as gross as diapers may be, accidents are worse.

And my almost 3.5 year old twins are still in diapers. So I really do understand.