Thursday, October 22, 2009

Being old

I am officially old. I find myself shaking my head at the young whippersnappers in my neighborhood. When did this happen? I am not sure, but I am 100% positive that I am OLD. Below, I am going to list all of the reasons why I am a senior citizen. If you do something on this list, be happy! It simply means that you're not old.

1. I hate the skinny jeans that all the teenagers wear. They look RETARDED. I know that this makes me old, because I distinctly remember my mother saying that my clothes looked goofy when I was a teenager. Old people never like the new fashion.

2. I can't stand cell phones. Well, it is not really the cell phone that I despise, it is the people who talk on them constantly. Why do you always have to be on the phone? And stop talking so loudly!

3. I think texting is the worst thing that has ever happened to children. I see kids walking down the street with their faces glued to cell phones. I find this highly disturbing. Why can't kids just play outside? Or hang out with their friends?

4. I don't find facebook or myspace appealing.

5. I only like one show on television. ONE SHOW (How I Met Your Mother, which I think is hilarious). I prefer to watch the news instead. Oh, I love The Daily Show and The Colbert Report too. But that is it.

6. I get excited when Time Magazine arrives in my mailbox. Snore.

7. I don't wear make-up anymore.

8. My boobs are saggier than they should be, and I don't even care.

9. I am always peeking out the curtains, spying on my neighbors.

10. I think about saving for retirement. A lot.

See? I am old. And I think it is irreversible, because try as I might, I just can't bring myself to like skinny jeans.


Eva said...

Man, you ARE old. I'm wearing skinny jeans RIGHT NOW!

That's a lie.

I'm old because just a few months ago I called the cops on loud noise--the loud noise of little kids playing in a pool. Look, they were screaming all day!

amanda said...

1) skinny jeans are lame. ok really i am just jealous my butt doesn't fit in them.

4) can't stand facebook. i mean sure i lurk through hubbies every once in awhile - but as far as i am concerned it is a gateway drug for cheating on your spouse.

5) i puffy heart nph. and sure he is gay but so what!

6) i do the SAME thing!

thank goodness i can be old with you!

Midwest Mommy said...

Yep, I'm old too!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Skinny jeans are for skinny legs. Slim cut is about as skinny as I can go.

I tried/failed to participate in a Twitter party tonight. It was too fast. I'm old.

Mama Kalila said...

1. My husband & I must be old too...

2. & 3. I like both cell phones & txting... but don't think its appropriate for children. No offense to anyone who believes differently, but is how I feel. I can see the ones that only call home and one or two other places for emergencies, but beyond that... no.

4. Addicted to facebook lol... I actually have friends on there who are quite a bit older too btw. Grandparent ages...


7. I rarely do.

8. LOL - I dont care what mine look like at the moment either... Not saggy, but pregnancy & nursing has def done their part.

I wouldn't call ya old ;-)

J'Ollie Primitives said...


I'm so old I still miss peg-leg jeans. From the 80's, not the 40's folks.

Danielle said...

are skinny jeans still in style? haha You crack me up.

Just Jiff said...

I HATE skinny jeans too. I hate most of the new trends. Pull your pants up, wear clothes that fit, and stop showing your boobs/ass.

i don't watch much tv either, but I love Grey's Anatomy, Boston Legal, Dexter, and True Blood. I'm pretty sure those are all "old people" shows. :)

I love texting and Facebook. But mainly because it means I can respond/chat when I want and not have to be tied down to talking on the phone -- which I HATE. I do get tired of seeing kids ride their bikes with their phones glued to their ear. Kids as young as 7 in my neighborhood are getting cell phones. RIDICULOUS!

I'm old too. I get called "ma'am" all the time.

Jeninacide said...

LOL! You're hilarious! I do like, at least a COUPLE of things on that list. I wear skinny jeans (GASP!) and I also have my CRACKBERRY in hand almost nonstop. I don't TALK on it a lot but I do email... eek!

I have to admit that I get uneasy whenever I see a group of high school kids... I totally think to myself "Bunch of punks! Up to no good I'm sure!" I don't even know why I think that!!

Missy S said...

I love How I Met Your Mother!