I am officially old. I find myself shaking my head at the young whippersnappers in my neighborhood. When did this happen? I am not sure, but I am 100% positive that I am OLD. Below, I am going to list all of the reasons why I am a senior citizen. If you do something on this list, be happy! It simply means that you're not old.
1. I hate the skinny jeans that all the teenagers wear. They look RETARDED. I know that this makes me old, because I distinctly remember my mother saying that my clothes looked goofy when I was a teenager. Old people never like the new fashion.
2. I can't stand cell phones. Well, it is not really the cell phone that I despise, it is the people who talk on them constantly. Why do you always have to be on the phone? And stop talking so loudly!
3. I think texting is the worst thing that has ever happened to children. I see kids walking down the street with their faces glued to cell phones. I find this highly disturbing. Why can't kids just play outside? Or hang out with their friends?
4. I don't find facebook or myspace appealing.
5. I only like one show on television. ONE SHOW (How I Met Your Mother, which I think is hilarious). I prefer to watch the news instead. Oh, I love The Daily Show and The Colbert Report too. But that is it.
6. I get excited when Time Magazine arrives in my mailbox. Snore.
7. I don't wear make-up anymore.
8. My boobs are saggier than they should be, and I don't even care.
9. I am always peeking out the curtains, spying on my neighbors.
10. I think about saving for retirement. A lot.
See? I am old. And I think it is irreversible, because try as I might, I just can't bring myself to like skinny jeans.