Do you ever find yourself craving chaos? Because I think I am addicted to a hectic lifestyle. Porgie was a high needs baby, who required lots of attention. Shortly after she emerged from this stage, I got pregnant with Izzy. After Izzy was born, I experienced the joy of having two children under the age of two. Throughout everything, I have been happy. Actually, these last few years have been the happiest years of my life.
Lately, things have been very calm around here. The kids are perfect. John and I have been getting along great. I am talking to my mother on a regular basis. But despite this time of tranquility and peace, I often feel a little discombobulated. Honestly, I think I miss my crazy life. My mind is constantly racing with thoughts of remodeling or moving or having another baby or starting a business. Why can't I just relax?
I think, in some weird way, I feel like the chaos makes me a more interesting person. I have nothing to talk about - on this blog or in real life. Everyday we do the same routine and everyday things go pretty smoothly. This makes for VERY boring topics of conversation. I recently started emailing a friend from high school, and I was shocked at how little I had to say. She literally wrote a short novel on her current life. I responded with a three sentence paragraph about my life. What the fuck? Am I THAT boring.
I don't want to be misunderstood - I LOVE my life. I am happy. Maybe I need a new hobby?