I am plagued by self doubt. Every thing I do, every decision I make, I worry about the consequences. My husband is so self assured. He never questions his decisions. He always thinks he is right (even when he is completely and totally wrong). How does one acquire this confidence?
My husband has been strongly encouraging me to home school our children. I am years away from having to make this decision, but I am already plagued by self doubt. As most people know, the public education system in America is in bad shape. I have worked in public schools, so I have seen and experienced the problems first hand. I definitely think that I could effectively teach my children (I have a degree in elementary education for crying out loud), but is that really the best decision for them? Will they suffer socially? Will they resent my decision when they are older?
I have discovered that it is impossible to discuss home schooling with other moms. Every time I mention it to a friend, they look at me like I have 3 heads. They belittle my opinions and act like my kids will suffer. Why is everyone so passionate about this issue? Why can't we just talk about the pros and cons like rational adults?
I know that most of you will feel the same way as my friends. And I completely understand most of the normal concerns about socialization and whatnot. But I like the idea of having a close knit family, who does everything together. I like the idea of having control over my children's education, so that I can accommodate their specific learning styles. I like the idea of NOT teaching to a test - I want my kids to enjoy learning! But at the same time, I don't want my kids to have a lonely childhood, without friends. That is the worst part of home schooling. Of course, we could join a home school group and enroll the kids in lots of extracurricular activities. However, it is just not the same. Money is another issue. NJ has the highest property taxes in the country. We are supporting the public school system when we pay our taxes. So, in addition to paying outrageous property taxes, we would also have to pay for our own home schooling textbooks and materials.
In summary, I am confused. And plagued by self doubt. Everyone seems to have a strong opinion on this topic except me. I can see the pros and cons of both options. I wish the world was black and white. Instead, I see everything in shades of gray.
16 comments:
I see both sides of the fence.
I wish you lots of luck in making your decision ~ difficult i know!!! But you'll make the right one for both you and the kids.
l,
Amanda x
I think you should find a group that does home schooling and get lot's of advice from them because they know the feelings that your having right now. Friends don't judge.. remember that! Hugs!
I am all over the place on this one. On the one hand, I think that the whole "school" experience is important- however the public school system SUCKS and they just keep cutting more and more programs and overloading classrooms... How is anyone supposed to learn anything that way?
I hope that I am living in another country by the time Cole has to go to school and that way I can either enroll him there or teach him myself guilt free!
I do not think you are crazy at all. I know people who home school and their kids are great and colleges love kids that are home schooled but you really need to always be teaching and doing lots of social activities with the kids. I think it is tough to teach at home and do both roles but not impossible if you are committed.
I would try and find a site that has other moms who home school. I know you will find the right thing to do. Google homeschooling in nj and I am sure you will find some moms. xo
One of my best friends home schools her children. I'm hoping to home school mine. You are not a crazy worry wart. I second Alicia W.'s comments. Hugs!
I am one of those people who would look at you like you had three heads. I could write a novel on this topic given the fact that I grew up with some home schooled kids (who were odd and socially awkward) plus I come from a long line of teachers. There is no way I would not give my kids the opportunity to have the joy of going to school, building confidence and social skills (so important in the real world)and gain life long friednships. I'm just saying :)
I hear you on the subject, there are so many different opinions out there. I have taught in the school system where bradley will go, and I definitely will be sending him there. it is very progressive and open-minded. but it is hard if you are in a place where you don't love your public schools. do what your gut says:)
I only have a problem with homeschooling if it's a way to keep kids from knowing things--like when parents are scared of evolution or whatever--or when the parents are poorly-educated and the kids have no chance of differentiating "their" from "there" under their sole tutelage. Anyway you have some time to decide and you can always switch!
Everything depends on the children involved. So you will probably have a better idea of what is best for them as they grow over the next couple of years.
I wonder if there are home school play groups... It would make sense. And if not, maybe you can start one (put together a website, let it develop into a popular resource, get advertisers, make millions... you never know!)
Bottom line - everyone has opinions, but only you know what is best for your kids. And instead of thinking of your concern as self doubt, just think of it as taking time to really consider both sides, weigh pros and cons and change your mind a few times before making a decision. There is nothing wrong with that!
i too am a total worry wart. i sometimes worry about worrying too much.
there are two sides to every choice - but when the time comes i know you will make the right one.
i think if you live in an area where public education is lacking, you should most definitely home school, christy. i know you can do it and do it well:)))
here in henderson, there are a few who home school, however, across the bridge in evansville there are many that do, and the parents organize group events (sports, outings, and planning) so that the social thing is not an issue. our local home schoolers make the short trek to involve their kids in a larger hs community.
when the time comes you will know what to do... maybe a combo of the two:)
love,
dani
There are some things I worry about like that too, and other things I don't. Is odd...
I'm in the middle on the home school thing too. I know it can be done well... I've also seen some downsides to it. One of them is a really bad example because the parents didn't teach or take care of their kids (relatives of mine and kids finally taken away thankfully), but I have a few friends that made it through graduation homeschooled with a great education... and horrible social skills. On the other hand, I've also seen a few that were very well rounded. It depends on how its done. Personally I'm afraid of figuring out that balance... But I also hate the idea of public school... which is why we're hoping to use a private one. (fingers crossed) We have talked about it though... and decided that if we ever do decide to homeschool that we'll only do it to a certain age and then switch them over.
I have worked at all levels of schooling (preschool through college) and can say that one of the biggest benefits of "school" is the socialization. And I know you mentioend that but its goes beyond just learning how to make and keep friends. You have to learn team work and problem solving, empathy and communication, even with people who aren't your friends.
It's sad that many people feel that have to homeschool their kids because the public school isn't good enough and the private schools are too expensive. But I figure, no teacher can teach your kids everything, from pre-reading and learning number sense to anatomy and literature. At young ages, one teacher may be able to do it all but once they get into middle school, its increasingly hard for any one person (ie: a mom) to teach all subjects. So if they'll go into public school after 6 years, why not just start them there?
Good luck with your decision - and i second the advice of talking to otehr homeschool moms - but also talk to people who have much older kids so you can get a sense of how this works in the long term.
I see both sides, too. However, I like our school system where I live so I know Bayley will go there.
It's up to you. :)
Oh hon. It bothers me that you say your "friends belittle your opinion"... that is not cool. Are they really your friends then?
Talk to people who home school. See what they say. Maybe you could talk to older home schooled kids and see how they feel about the socializing aspect of it all.
You have the perfect degree to do such a job!
There are going to be pros and cons on both sides and you just have to decide what is best for your family and it sounds like you have your husbands support!
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