Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Feeling frustrated

I am at the point with Izzy's horrible sleeping habits, that I am about to let his little butt cry at night. I can't continue on like this.

In the past week, I have been trying to change Izzy's 6 naps per day schedule to a more reasonable 3 naps per day schedule. Instead of putting him down every two hours, I have been putting him down by the clock. I started doing this in an effort to get him to nap for longer than 30 minutes. So far, my plan hasn't worked.

I put Izzy down for his naps at 9am, 12pm, and 4pm. Most days, he only sleep for about 30 minute per nap. It sucks, but what can I do? Sometimes he will go back to sleep if I put him in the swing. If he does fall asleep in the swing, he'll sleep for about 2 hours.

When I implemented the 3 naps per day rule, I also started enforcing an 8pm bedtime. Izzy does not like our new schedule. Although he goes straight to sleep at 8pm, he wakes up every thirty minutes until midnight. After that point, he wakes every two hours. He is usually ready to start the day around 6am. On any given night, his longest stretch of sleep is only two hours. I end up breastfeeding him at least 6 times per night, because it is the fastest way to get him back to sleep. I've tried rocking him, but he just gets more pissed off. Breastfeeding is the only
way I can efficiently soothe him.

So what should I do? I am sick of the "this is all temporary" line. I have been repeating this phrase to myself for the last 4 months, and Izzy continues to wake up over and over and over. My head is about to explode, so I must go take some Tylenol. Feel free to offer up any advice or words of wisdom.


Eva said...

Well, I think this might not be the best time because of the whole four-month sleep regression thing, but once he's safely past that, I think being firm with a schedule sounds like it might be worth trying.

Bon said...

all i got is that we had to go to the crying plan eventually, too...because nobody was getting any sleep. i picked my crying battles, treated naps differently from bedtime, and by about six months he was golden, though his naps always stayed short. but in the meantime, it was hell, and i feel for you.

i will read your more useful commenters with interest, hoping to learn something for the next go-round.

Amanda said...

Our son Callum, was a great sleeper until he was about 8 months old.The problem was He would fall asleep in my arms with his bedtime bottle, and we would put him in his cot asleep. He would wake up at midnight and wonder where he was and how he got there! After this he would wake up up to 6 times in the night for milk and cuddles.

We did the controlled crying method. We put him to bed awake . He was hysterical .We went into his room every 15mins and just said 'nite nite' to him and walk outta the room. No milk or cuddles.

We had a tough 2 nights but after that it was bliss. My husband and i always took turns each going into his room, unless one of us was working.

Callum would never lie down as a baby to have a daytime nap. Like Izzy, he would love sleeping in a swing or in my arms. Callum gave up his daytime naps when he turned 2, ( which is hell when it comes to 4:30pm ).

You'll get there, but it doesn't feel like it now, i bet. I think you are doing the right thing though with his naps at set times. Babies love routine. Mine do anyway.

Is Izzy eating solids? Maybe he is hungry at nite?

Anyway you will have thought about that , i'm not meaning to patronize you on that one.

Good luck, your a great Mum

Amanda x

Lainey-Paney said...

Have you read any books about it?
For less than 4 bucks, I got a book at Half Priced Books by T. Berry Brazelton, MD. The book is entitled, "Sleep The Brazelton Way".
It helped us.

So.....there's an actual suggestion that you can pursue!

Gage is 2 1/2 now, so it's hard for me to really remember & think back to when he started sleeping through the night, and when he went from mini-naps to regular naps...But, I can tell you that he used to take 2 good naps a day. Now, he takes one nap per day & it's for about 3 hours. Naptime ROCKS!

A Mom Two Boys said...

Oh lord, woman. I hear ya. I just started letting (is making more appropriate) cry it out when he wakes up before 6 or 6:30. He complains for a few minutes and then he's OUT. OUT for another hour, at least, until Dylan wakes him up.

I understand the feeling that making them cry it out is unfair, but having a stressed out, tired, snappy, crabby* mommy ALL THE TIME is no fun. Plus, he's a baby and baby's need sleep, so you're really doing something that's good for him. See how I turned that around?!
*So not describing you. Just what I would be like after countless nights on the schedule you just described!

Dana said...

Hang in there, I hope it gets better!!!

Awake said...

Well I'd like to give you a real solution, but you've read my blog, you know we have our own sleep issues. If you can find a way to get it figured out now, that would be great. I kept thinking it would get easier to convince DD to go to sleep. Umm, so far, not so much.

My only other advice, with a grain of salt considering my failure at getting DD to sleep, is to use the swing if it works. Sleep is sleep when sleep is needed.

Take care.

30 Minute Mommy said...

My little one is pretty much the same at 6 months. She must go down every two hours or she is CRABBY! Her sleep at night stinks. I always threaten to let her cry it out- but my heart just isn't in it. I just keep hopin it gets better. I have no answers. If you get some-send them my way!

Jeninacide said...

I nursed Cole THREE TIMES (not counting the time at bedtime) last night. Erick took him in for his 4-month checkup today and apparently we aren't really supposed to be feeding him at night anymore and should start phasing that out... Ummm HELLO? WTF are you SUPPOSED to do with a crying infant at 3AM who will ONLY shut up and sleep if you give them BOOB??

I am also stumped.

However Cole also is still sleeping in our bed. Maybe I should just suck it up and put him in his crib and do a little controlled crying method??


Marni Tiani Self said...

I think I told you this before... but the Baby Whisperer is the book I swear by. Both of my kids sleep from 8-8 or LONGER!!!!

They also nap once a day and I loved every page in that books.


Mary said...

I wish I could offer you some advice-sleep deprivation is the pitts. Try to be consistent with what you are doing and hopefully Izzy will start cooperating!

Mama Kalila said...

I can't really help - sorry... You know I'm on my first one lol. We had no (or little) problems until a few weeks ago.. Now that the teething is really under way Kalila is waking up once or twice a night now. Is fine in that I don't mind nursing her... but she fights going back in the crib. A few days ago I was so exhausted that I fell asleep & she rolled off me when she was done & fell on the floor! I felt awful.. (I still do.. but thankfully she wasn't hurt). We're about to move her into her own room to see if that'll help any... w/ the thought that we may be waking her up (because it's usually when we come to bed that she does).

We've had similar nap probs as you though... Is rough getting her down for one. If that swing works I'd use it! I've heard of a lot of moms doing the same... Just do it at the time you've set aside for his nap.

And as much as I detest the CIO thing... sometimes you do have to do it. I've done it myself (gets me everytime, but still...)

If you figure anything out please let me know lol. I'll do the same :-D Oh - and take that tylanol & try to get some rest... it does help when (if) ya can.

Claudia said...

My daughter was like that. She had me locking myself in the bathroom sometimes, sobbing right along with her in frustration. Wish I could tell you there is a magical cure, but there isn't, it's called time, and it will work itself out eventually. Not helpful to you now, I know. I drank a lot of wine. ;) That helped too. Zsa also liked classical music and being rocked up and down instead of side to side (think Native American type dancing with baby in arm) to console/put her to sleep. (( Hugssssss )) You WILL survive. I promise.

amanda said...

uhm so now that i know we are both awake together in the middle of the night...wanna get together??

i sooo thought at almost six months we would be over this! i too am tired of hearing "give it time." and i am also very tired of feeling like a failure. yes i know she needs sleep dear parenting books - so do i!

we try the cry it out thing and sometimes it works. but the only thing that ever really works is the beloved boob. i know i have read how "bad" it is, but those people aren't missing sleep like i am.

and for the record, the bean used to take almost all her naps in her swing. i wish she still fit in there..we are fighting a nap right now in the crib. it's the whimper tired cry...

sorry not much help huh? just know that i am feeling your pain!

~melinda~ said...

oh girl. i hear you and remember so well how you feel. even though mine are 4 and 5 i remember how FREAKING LONG nights can be.

i'll be honest cause i'm that kind of girl. disclaimer: the House of Plues parenting book has not been tried with OTHER people's children; just mine!! but--i think you are overanalyzing this. honestly, i almost never went by clocks during the day or timing of the naps, really. i let whatever happened in the day happen (within reason) and kept to a strict, consistent bedtime routine. crying it out is the only way to get some kids to go to sleep and self-soothe. turn off the monitor, close the door, and just know that he's not going to die from crying. i swear. not the first night, not the second or the third. it may take several days but it will work! do something to distract yourself. you can even go sit on the front porch or somewhere where you can't hear him. you are going to drive yourself batty over this and i know exactly how you feel.

be strong. you can do this!!

Mama Kalila said...

Adding to that last comment... a great place where you can't hear him (which is hard to do w/ a second kid..) is the shower. I did that last night at bedtime. Unfortunately she woke up in the mid of the night again & ended up sleeping w/ us later on anyway...

April said...

I don't really have much advice as Max is my third child and I didn't put him to sleep by himself until he was 9 months old. I finally needed to have some time at night to myself. The first night he cried 2 hours, it was so hard, the next night 1 hour, the next 20 minutes and then 10 minutes. He now is 11 1/2 months old and goes to bed at 7:30 or 8 waking up once or twice to eat. Not too bad. So all I can say is "stick with it"!!!!