When I am feeling anxious and unsure about my situation in life, I often find myself reading numerous books on whatever predicament I am facing. Currently, I am consumed with sleep. I want sleep. I crave sleep. I long for sleep.
When Porgie was little, I read several books on sleep. None of them really helped me, but they made me feel more in control of the situation. Even though the books were of little or no help, reading them made me feel like I was doing something to correct the problem.
I recently purchased a new sleep book called, Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I am not very far into the book, but the author is already making me feel like an inadequate mother. According to the doctor, a child under 4 months of age should not be wake for longer then 1 to 2 hours. Izzy is regularly awake for much longer then 2 hours. I often try to get him to sleep, but something usually disrupts my efforts - like Porgie crying for a cup of milk or my dogs barking at the wind or the damn phone ringing. Some days, Izzy will only get a handful of 20 minute cat naps all day long. He is fussy most of the time, so I am sure he is sleep deprived.
The author of this book has also managed to make me feel more anxious about the future. According to his theory, the more your child cries as a newborn, the more difficult his temperament will be at four months of age. He went on to say that parents who effectively soothe their newborn babies, usually have more happy and alert children. Although I would like to think that I am good at soothing Izzy, I know that he has cried way more than Porgie cried as a newborn. But sometimes I have to let him cry. When I am reading Porgie stories and putting her to bed, Izzy cries. When I am fixing Porgie breakfast and trying to feed her, Izzy cries. When I am too tired and weary to comfort anyone, Izzy cries.
Maybe I shouldn't have purchased this book, because it is definitely not making me feel more in control of the situation.