Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I don't like newborns

Yes, you read the title correctly. I don't like newborns. They are annoying little creatures, who allow absolutely no rest for the weary. I cannot wait until Izzy is out of this awful stage. And no, I will not look back fondly, and wonder where all the time went. Instead, I will be happy that I don't have a damn newborn!

I think it is an urban myth that newborns actually sleep, because Porgie NEVER slept and Izzy NEVER sleeps. It makes me want to rip my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs - GO TO FUCKING SLEEP! JUST CLOSE YOUR DAMN EYES AND SLEEP! But even if I screamed this, Izzy would not go to sleep. Because newborns are little bastards.

Don't feel sorry for little Izzy. I don't actually torture him with my rantings. Instead, I come here and torture you with my rantings.

I am tired mom, but there is no way in hell I am going to sleep!


Lainey-Paney said...

OOOOOOh. Poor Mommy!

Gage never slept as much as they all reported newborns would sleep.

I think people lie about it.
A newborn sleeping a lot is like an urban legend...

Mary said...

I don't miss the newborn days with either of my children. Elise suffered from extreme colic and screamed all day. Claire was just a pain in the ass.

I hope it gets better for you soon. You need some rest!

Suz said...

I love crying baby pictures...babies all look the same to me until they cry and then the differences come out. But I'm just weird that way. I hope he gets sleepy soon. Poor mommy!

Em said...

Sorry i actually laughed out loud and then read this post out to Tosh, dont get me wrong i understand the sleep thing, its just they way in which you posted it!

I never enjoyed Billy as new born

Cagey said...

You meant this to be funny, right? Cuz I am totally laughing my ass off here.

Unfortunately, my newborns DID sleep. Then, they refuse to take naps after that brief, blissful period of time.

Children - they get you either way. Wily little sneaks.

Lindz said...

Oh wow, look at the rage in that little face. I'm sorry, I would not want to be you and Gob I hope my kids sleep a little... I am a real beotch when I don't get sleep.

A Mom Two Boys said...

OMG, that picture is priceless. Can totally tell how pissed off he is. Sorry. That sucks, I totally know how it is. I have no advice to offer, but I can assure you that you'll be out of that stage soon. Zach is 5 months now and has gotten to the point (in the last 3-4 weeks) where he totally keeps himself entertained in his chair (same one you've got!) and his floor mat and his activity center. It'll get better. I think I've said that to you before, but it really is true! I promise!

S said...

I was sooo there with K, so I completely sympathize!
And don't feel bad about not caring for the newborn "stage". I didn't either. As much as K is testing boundaries,etc right now and on the cusp of the terrible twos, I'll take this than going back to the newborn stage anyday!

Not So Perfect said...

It is so unfair that some people get off so easy with these newborns that sleep all the time.

I must say I don't really miss the newborn stage either and this post reminded me of how bad it was.

Nellie's Nook said...

I can't believe my husband didn't comment on this entry! He despises new borns. He would totally agree with you!

Cristina Mathers said...

i didn't like newborns either, and to tell you the truth i am not sure how i feel about 2 year old right now.

just kidding!

your kiddos are scrumptious!