Have you ever tried to reason with an insurance company? It is beyond impossible. I spent my entire weekend working on a nasty letter detailing all of my complaints about my insurance company. I spent 50% of the time writing, 30% of the time whining to my husband, and 20% of the time being really angry about the fact that we pay so much money for such crappy insurance.
Yesterday, I spent 90% of the day on the phone with various doctors' offices and costumer service representatives. I spent the other 10% being annoyed with my children and husband.
Today, I have come to a realization. I am wasting my time and energy on a hopeless situation. My insurance company is going to screw me over one way or the other, so I might as well stop dwelling on the subject. I am soooooo tempted to just cancel my policy. I know that sounds crazy, but I feel like they are stealing my money. My insurance company refuses to cover most of our medical bills, so it seems more sensible to just save my monthly premiums. We pay over $4,000 per year for grossly inadequate medical insurance. They don't give a shit about me or my kids or the quality of the medical services we receive. But fear forces me to keep shelling out money to the greedy fucking insurance companies. "What if something bad happens..." seems to be my motto.
I guess I am just feeling completely overwhelmed. As I mentioned last month, my insurance company dropped our pediatrician AGAIN. But I don't want to switch practices. I want my kids to be comfortable with their doctor, familiar with the routine, and relaxed in the environment. So, we have decided to stay with our current pediatrician and pay out-of-network charges. This basically means that we will be paying hundreds of dollars for every visit. I want to cry when I think about it. We pay $400 per month, and we have almost no choice in our care. Now we are going to be paying $400 per month for essentially nothing. We will be paying for every doctor bill out-of-pocket unless we reach an $18,000 out-of-network deductible for the year.
It feels like we can never get ahead. And I am angry.