Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Thank you

Thank you for all of your kind words and support. I really needed to hear your encouraging words, because yesterday was really tough. When I was at my breaking point, ready to chase Porgie around with a spoonful of food, Amanda wrote this, "oh how i wish my mom would have heard that quote...i could go on and on with details - her weighing me in the morning before school, having the lunch ladies check my tray before i could get up from my seat, the timer at dinner, the hidden veggies, the eating disorder...instead i will just say thank you and good luck. you can do it! and you both will be much happier." I cried just a little when I read her comment. Because if I don't get myself in check now, I can easily see myself in her mother's role.

We started the day with a bowl of Cheerios. Porgie didn't eat any of her cereal. Not even one bite. She cried most of the morning, and begged for Crunchies. When lunch rolled around, I was positive that she would eat. I made her peas, pasta, and tofu. She ate 1 single pea and a two bites of tofu. And then she asked to get down. It killed my soul, but I let her down. She then promptly asked for some graham crackers. At that point, I made the desicion that snacks had to be offered at a set time and that she had to eat them in her highchair. Otherwise, she was going to refuse her meals and gorge herself on snacks. When I refused her the crackers and offered her more tofu, she cried and then I cried. When naptime rolled around, Porgie was rattling on and on about cheese and bread, and I wanted to cry again. When she woke, I gave her a snack in her highchair. For an hour or two afterward, everything seemed like it would be okay. Porgie was in good spirits, playing and singing. Then we had dinner, and our good vibe promptly ended. Porgie ate a handful of frech fries and three nibbles of her veggie burger. She asked to get down and I grudgingly obliged.

It was a tough day my friends. A really tough day. If I had taken over the reins and started spoon feeding her, I am positive that I could have made her eat most of her breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But I did not resume my bullying role. Instead, I let Porgie decide what and how much she wanted to eat. I know that she didn't eat enough. I know that she went to bed hungry. But I also know that I cannot continue to control Porgie's diet. I need to let her feed herself, listen to her own body, and make her own decisions about food.

14 comments:

Mama Kalila said...

Good job... It'll get easier

Marni's Organized Mess said...

Good for you!!! You rule. I know it's hard to watch, but they really will eat if they are hungry. YOU CAN DO IT!!

Danielle said...

Hang in there! The sun'll come out tomorrow...

amanda said...

oh friend so very sorry for the tears...but i promise you, you really are doing the right thing.

and trust me when mine is old enough to have these kind of throw-downs, and god knows she will, i will be driving straight to your house!!

baby steps :)

Clare said...

it sounds like we are going through a similar thing over here. bradley refuses a lot of food, and doesn't try really anything new at all. we are down to bagels, sandwhiches, chx nuggets, etc. so i have put a lock down on snacks. i only keep raisins, goldfish and graham crackers. he has snacks now at 10 and after his nap. that is it! It is sooo hard though, and i feel like he is hungry too!

Dooneybug said...

Great job Christy! Stay with it, stay strong! It will get easier and it will work. Toddlers won't let themselves starve, they will eat when they get hungry enough. I used to be worried about my son not eating meals too but after much reassurance from other moms and our early childhood teacher, I relaxed about it. And while no, he doesn't eat every time at every meal, he does eat when he's hungry enough. We also had a problem with him not wanting to try new foods. And many times they were things I KNEW he'd like. Now we are at the point where he will take a "taste". Some times he decides he likes it and asks for more, other times he doesn't eat it. And that's ok. As long as you are providing a healthy meal then it's up to Porgie to decide to eat it.

And remember....pretty much every mom has been or is going through this very situation! You are certainly not alone.

Tabitha said...

You have done the right thing and I really hope that it all works out.
Take care ~ love and big hugs Tabitha XXXXX

Eva said...

And see, now this way she'll be like, "shit, I guess I should eat more so I'm not hungry." Hopefully! Congrats on sticking it out!

MarvelousMOM said...

You are doing a fabulous job, even if it is hard. And there will be a change. She will get tired of being hungry and see the routine you are setting with meal time and snack time. You can do it and we are all here to support you!

anymommy said...

You rock, darling. Stick with it, truly. She is going to test you to the max, because she does want to ask for the snacks she loves whenever she wants them. She'll learn your rules and she will eat enough!

chris said...

Stay strong. You're doing the right thing, no matter how hard!

Becca said...

I will say something that my pediatrician told me, and not sure if this helps you or not, but he said that I would be LUCKY to get Ava to eat a good meal every 2 days as a 2 year old. They just have so much more going on in their brains that food isn't really on their minds. He said that no matter how hard it is not to worry, they will eat when they are hungry. I think you are doing a great job. Ava is a VERY picky eater, but he wasn't worried about it, so I'm trying not to be either. But we all know as parents that's a hard thing to do.

Mary said...

It's tough, but you're doing great...

Jiff said...

You're doing an awesome job.

I've also heard that 2 year olds are VERY picky eaters and they just don't eat like we do. And won't for a while.

*HUGS*