Sorry for all the bitching

Porgie is SO sick. I think we are going back to the doctor's office to tomorrow. My child won't eat ANY food, and now she is refusing milk too. She wakes up at nap time and at nighttime coughing. I guess it hurts her to cough, because she cries uncontrollably. My heart hurts for her. She is so sad and uncomfortable.

As you have probably guessed, Halloween wasn't very fun this year. Even though she felt miserable, Porgie looked absolutely adorable. I would upload pictures, but the computer that has the picture program software installed on it is currently sitting in our basement, waiting to be set-up in our new home office. Of course, that is a project that will take a while to complete. Right now we have to focus on getting Izzy's room ready (I ONLY HAVE THREE WEEKS LEFT! THREE WEEKS! THREE WEEKS!).

I am tired my dear friends. I must leave you to go rest.

Sick baby

In case you were wondering, I am feeling a lot better today. Porgie, on the other hand, isn't doing so well. She has a cough and very runny nose. My poor little girl walks around the house whining and crying approximately 90% of the day. I feel bad for her.

Due to her illness, it appears that Porgie has completely lost her appetite. Today she ate a cup of yogurt and 12 french fries. I offered her 3 or 4 different options for both dinner and lunch, but she only wanted french fries. Of course, this is driving me INSANE. At first, she eagerly accepted the food that I offered. She shoved the food in her mouth, chewed it up, and spit it out. She did this with honey dew melon, tofu hot dogs, vegetarian meatballs, pasta noodles, and veggie pot pie.

I am still a complete amateur when it comes to caring for a sick baby. Porgie has only been sick a few times, and most of them were relatively minor. I feel so helpless and unsure of how to help her. She cries when she coughs. She cries when I wipe her nose. She cries when I offer her food. She is just so miserable, and I am just so miserable.

Tomorrow is the Halloween parade at Story time. I have been looking forward to this parade for weeks. Now, I am not even sure Porgie should go. Yet at the same time, I feel like she might enjoy herself if we get out of the house. But then again, she might get all the other kids sick. Ugh.

So, wise Internet people, what do sick babies like to eat? And should sick babies be isolated to the house?

Things are not always as they seem

Porgie began saying "mama" a long time ago. Although she rarely used this word, it was consistent in her growing vocabulary of words. The only time she really used "mama" was when she was crying and distressed. I found this to be sweet and endearing. My baby wanted her mommy to make everything better.

Over the past several months, Porgie's receptive language skills have blossomed. If I name an object in our house, Porgie can identify that object by pointing. While feeding Porgie lunch one day, I asked her to point to the light, which she did. Next, I asked her to point to the stove, which she did. Finally, I asked her to point to Mama, and she pointed to herself. I corrected her, and pointed her little finger in my direction. I asked her again, and again she pointed to herself.

When John got home from work, I asked Porgie to point to Dada. Instantly her little finger touched John's arm. Then, I asked her to point to Mama. Instantly her little finger touched her own chest.

For the past 9 months, I thought Porgie was calling me Mama. However, it turns out that she was merely referring to herself.

Silence

I am sorry I haven't updated recently, but I am very sick. There has been lots of laying on the couch and lots of television watching. Although Porgie is fine, she has been fussy due to the lack of entertainment in our household. And of course, John will be working this weekend. Life really sucks ass sometimes.

34 weeks and 5 days

Here is a picture of my big belly at 34 weeks. I am getting to the point where I am always uncomfortable. My back hurts, my hips hurt, my head hurts, etc. But an end is in sight my dear friends. Izzy will be born in 4 weeks.

Being Paranoid

As usual, I took Porgie to the park this morning. There was another little boy at the park, who had three large whelps on his arm. I asked his mother how he had acquired these strange bumps, and she wasn't sure. She suspected that they were just bug bites.

I, on the other hand, suspected that they were MRSA. The marks looked unusually large and unusually nasty. The little boy kept touching Porgie, and I kept having mini heart attacks.

When we got home from the park, I thoroughly washed Porgie's hands and arms, but I am still worried. MRSA has killed several high school students in our area. Obviously High School students have a better immune system than my 1-year old baby.

Since we are talking about illnesses, lets discuss the fact that Porgie is still coughing all night long. She is still coughing so hard that she wakes herself up. I think we are going to go back to the doctor's office again.

Have you noticed that I have turned into a neurotic basket case?

Pondering death

When I went into labor with Porgie, I assumed that I would have a vaginal delivery. I never read any information on c-sections. I never asked my doctor questions about the possibility of a c-section. John and I never discussed having a c-section.

But after hours and hours of labor, with no dilation, I was being prepped for a c-section. It was a whirlwind of emotion and confusion. When the doctor came into my room to have me sign the consent forms, I was in tears. I was so overwhelmed, I just signed the damn papers without a second thought.

Obviously, things are very different this time around. At my last doctor's appointment, I was asked to sign the consent forms to perform my scheduled c-section in November. The doctor explained all the risks - including death. Although I hesitantly signed the papers almost two weeks ago, I haven't stopped thinking about the word DEATH.

I could die. I know that I sound irrational and crazy, but this scares the shit out of me. Its not so much the idea of dying, but the idea that Porgie could grow up without her mommy. That little girl is the center of my world, and I am the center of her world. We would be lost without each other. My baby needs me.

I tried talking to John about my fears, but he got angry when I mentioned it. I think he's in denial about the risk of death. To him, its like I am having a tooth removed - no big deal.

You are probably thinking that I am INSANE, which I am. I know that the risk of dieing is very small. But there is still a risk, and that is very overwhelming and frightening.

Rainy day

Just wondering - what the hell do you do with your child when it rains? Porgie and I have gotten into the habit of going to the park twice a day. We go once in the morning and once in the afternoon. This is a great way to kill time, and also a great way to meet other moms. The only problem with this plan is rain.

Today it rained nearly the entire day. We were stuck in the house, and it was awful. My child kept running to the door and saying, "Zide." This means outside. However, we couldn't go outside. Needless to say, there was lots of whining. Of course, this means that I ended up entertaining her with Baby Einstein videos. The day just seemed to last FOREVER. FOREVER.

This made me start thinking about winter. What the hell am I suppose to do with her when it gets cold outside? Should I take her outside anyways? I have a feeling that this is going to be the longest winter of my life.

Also, did I mention that I will have a newborn this winter? What am I suppose to do with all these children?

Blue's Clues is soooo cool

I need help. I think I am in love with Steve from Blue's clues.

I started turning Blue's Clues on for Porgie about 3 or 4 months ago. I instantly fell in love with the show. Although Porgie is still a little too young to understand the concepts taught in the show, she is absolutely fascinated by the characters and songs. I have been encouraging this love, because I personally believe that Blue's Clues is a wonderful program for preschoolers.

Shortly after we started watching Blue's clues, I discovered that the older shows feature a character named Steve. The newer shows feature a character named Joe. At first, I like both characters. However, my feelings toward Joe have changed. Steve is obviously better - much more believable. The more I watch Steve, the more I like him. I think I have a crush on Steve.

Random things

I have no idea what size clothing my child wears. Porgie is at a weird stage, where her 12 month clothing is too little, but her 18 month clothing is too large. I purchased all 18 month clothing for the fall and winter. So, every time I put a pair of pants on my daughter, the bottom of the pants get caught under her feet. As a result, she pulls down the back of her pants when walking. This means that her ass is always hanging out. Kind of frustrating.

__________

I have been trying to get some of my Christmas shopping done. Izzy will be born at the end of November, so I need to get everything done before the big day. Since we are not going back to Kentucky this year, I am only buying gifts for a few people. John said that he isn't going to buy his family anything. Whatever. I am not going to stress about his family too. If he wants to be a Grinch this Christmas, that is his problem - not mine.

__________

Stephen Colbert is running for president. I am super excited!

__________

I am woefully behind on getting ready for Izzy's arrival. I have not bought any nursery furniture. I have not bought a double stroller. I have not purchased any newborn diapers. Basically, I have nothing for little Izzy. I need to get my ass moving! Just in case you were wondering, I have never suffered from that "nesting" thing, I often hear other mom's talk about.

Weaning part 2

Porgie is officially weaned from the bottle. The process was much, much easier than I had anticipated. For moms and dads who are dreading the process, I am going to share the techniques I used with Porgie.

Week # 1 - I started the first week by replacing her morning bottle with a cup. Porgie eagerly accepted this substitute, without any whining or fussing. For the first several days, she drank her milk very slowly. However, by the 4th or 5th day, she was finishing the entire cup within an hour. After a full week of drinking out of a cup in the morning, we moved on to the nighttime bottle.

Week # 2 - Although I was hesitant to give up the nighttime bottle, Porgie didn't seem to mind one little bit. I started giving her a cup of milk with dinner at 5:30. I have been letting her drink from the cup until bedtime, to ensure that she goes to bed at 7:00 with a full tummy. I thought Porgie would be restless without her nighttime bottle, but to my surprise she didn't seem to care at all. I was planning on giving Porgie her nighttime bottle for a full week before moving on to the nap time bottle, but Porgie had other ideas...

End of week # 2 - Porgie suddenly started refusing her nap time bottle. She still wanted milk, but she wanted it in her cup - NOT HER BOTTLE!!! How lucky am I?

Overall, weaning was fairly easy. I high recommend giving it a try. The only problem we encountered was finding a cup that she liked to drink milk from. This is the cup she has been using for milk. We continue to use this cup for water. Using different cups for milk and water has really helped Porgie in this process.

Did you know that I am a bad mother?

I haven't talked much about it, but Porgie has been having some issues lately. About a month ago, Porgie caught a little cold. She was sick for about 2 days, with a cough and a runny nose. After the two days, she was back to her normal self. However, she continued to cough at night. We put a humidifier in her room, to no avail. Around this time, Porgie also developed diarrhea. I thought the diarrhea was directly related to the cold, so I didn't think much of it.

For the past month, Porgie has had a cough at night and diarrhea during the day. To justify my negligence, allow me to explain why I let these two problems persist for so long. During the first two weeks, I thought she would fight the cold off herself. During the third week, I started to voice my concerns to John. He assured me that she was fine. During the fourth week, I came to my senses and decided to call the pediatrician's office.

I called this morning around 8:30 am. When I told the nurse how long Porgie had been coughing, she sounded shocked. She made me confirm that she had been coughing for a month approximately 5 times. The nurse told me to make an appointment and come in immediately.

An hour later, I was at the doctor's office. It turns out that Porgie had a cold, which developed into a sinus infection - which she has had for a month. I felt like a huge asshole when the doctor told me this. And apparently Porgie also has "Toddler Tummy." There appears to be no reason for her diarrhea, and we just have to suffer through it. Ugh.

Scarf for my baby

I crocheted Porgie a scarf. She looks super cool and hip and stlyish. Don't you think...She looks so cute, I am thinking about making myself a matching scarf. Of course, I won't look nearly as cute as she does.

Free stuff

I know that this post will make Eva very proud.

On Saturday, our neighbors came over and invited us to their house. We ventured a few doors down to their home, where they had tons of toys sitting in their side yard. They told us that they were having a yard sale next weekend, but wanted to let us take any of their baby toys before the sale. The toys were in great condition, and most of them were appropriate for Porgie's age.

We ended up taking about half of the toys home with us. We tried to offer them money, but they refused to except it. Have I mentioned that we have the nicest neighbors in the world? ALL of our neighbors sent cards and presents when Porgie was born. A few sent Porgie presents for Christmas. And a few even sent presents on her birthday. I LOVE MY NEIGHBORS.

Here are a few pictures of Porgie's new toys...

Things I will talk about when I am old

When I was a kid, I loved listening to my grandmother tell stories from her childhood. I was completely fascinated by the fact that she lived on a farm, used an outhouse, and listened to the radio instead of watching TV.

Its strange, but I have already seen lots of technology come and go during my life time. When I am old, I will be telling my grandchildren about...

Rotary phones

Atari

Record players

Tape playersVCRsType Writer





But the thing my grandchildren (and probably my children too) will think is the most biazzare, is the fact that we did not own a computer when I was a kid. In fact, I didn't know anyone who owned a computer. Until high school, I never used a computer to complete school work, do research, or write to my friends.

Bullies

I took Porgie to the park the other day to play. Another mother was there with her little boy. He was slightly older than Porgie (about 5 months older), but similar in size. He was carrying around a stuffed Ernie doll, which Porgie LOVED.

As he walked past, she stared longingly at the doll and reached out to touch its hair. Being the sweetheart that she is, Porgie never grabbed the doll or cried to hold it. Instead, she just watched and waited.

Finally, the little boy dropped the doll and ran off the play. Instantly, Porgie raced over to the doll and picked it up. She smiled at me and touched Ernie's fuzzy black hair. Before either of us knew what happened, Porgie was laying on the ground crying and Ernie was gone.

It seems that this little boy did not want Porgie to touch his doll. So, he shoved her to the ground and forcefully grabbed his toy from her grasp. I am friends with his mother, so of course she apologized profusely. I told her that is was fine - both babies are too little to understand the concept of sharing.

This whole episode was repeated about 2 minutes later. I gave Porgie a hug and calmed her down again, and she seemed to be fine. But then the little boy came over and started pulling on Porgie's arms. Once again, Porgie started whimpering. I felt like my baby was being bullied. I made up some excuse about nap time, and we got the hell out of there

Although it is probably a typical stage in development, this little boy seemed so aggressive. I hope my baby girl is always sweet and gentle with other children.

Birthday boy

I have scheduled my c-section. I have already received my instructions in the mail. I know which doctors will be working at the hospital that morning. I know who will be watching my precious baby girl. I am ready for the big day - the day my little boy will be born.

November 23, 2007

Giving credit where credit is due

I often feel like I harp and harp about my horrible relationship with my mother. But things aren't all bad. Since having Porgie, my mother has made more attempts to stay in contact with me. And she often sends gifts and cards for Porgie.

Although I was reluctant to ask her to come to New Jersey to watch Porgie in November, I have been pleasantly surprised by her response. Initially she agreed to fly to the east coast if we paid for her plane ticket. After researching prices, I called her back and asked her to pay half of the bill. She agreed, but I was positive that she wouldn't save the money.

After asking her to pay half the bill, my mother and I did not speak for about two months. Because of the prolonged silence, I was certain that she had decided not to come to New Jersey. When I scheduled my c-section two weeks ago, I decided to call her to plan specific dates for her arrival and departure.

To my surprise, my mother sounded excited and eager to come to New Jersey. She even volunteered to send her $200 for the plane ticket (which I received a few days ago!). I am so happy that things are working out so smoothly between us - no surprises and no anger.

And honestly, I am excited about seeing her, and I think Porgie will adore her.

Weaning

Within the next two months, I want to wean Porgie from the bottle. I have fruitlessly tried to give her milk in a sippy cup, but she refuses to drink it. She only likes to drink water from her sippy cup. Yes, Porgie is a pain in the ass.So, I decided to offer her milk in a cup with a straw. Although she seemed very satisfied at first, she quickly realized that she could pull the straw out of the lid. Needless to say, the cup with the straw didn't last very long.

I decided to try another cup - the Nuby Flip-It No-Spill Straw Cup. I have managed to get Porgie to drink two or three ounces of milk within an hour. If we keep practicing, I know we can be bottle free by Novemeber. Wish me luck...