Sunday, July 31, 2011

Because I don't have enough shit to stress about

I am having a toenail crisis. I know that sounds trivial, but it is consuming my life! I probably have some weird toe fungus or something, which is just disgusting and embarrassing. Ugh. Since I am 9 months pregnant, I have decided to wait until I have this baby before I go to the doctor. But I'll tell you the story, just in case someone out there has some helpful advice.

Right after I found out I was pregnant, the nail on my right big toe developed a red crescent shape at the bottom. It looked like blood had pooled under the nail. I wasn't sure if I should make a big deal out of it, so I showed it to my OB and asked for her opinion. She assured me that I had just caused trauma to the nail and that the bloody part would eventually grow out. Even though I didn't remember hurting my toe, I decided to let it go. It was just a red spot on my nail. And besides, it was winter and my feet were always covered with socks and shoes anyways.

But then the weather got warm, and I started wearing flip flops everyday. The red part was no longer on the bottom of my nail. Now it was about mid-way up the nail and stretched across the entire surface. It was ugly, but I don't think anyone really noticed. Then a few weeks ago the nail REALLY started to hurt. It would just throb for no reason whatsoever. I thought maybe I was getting an ingrown toenail (I've never had an ingrown toenail before, so I am kind of clueless about these things). In an effort to stop the throbbing pain, I decided to clip the nail as short as I could. Except, I am insanely big and pregnant and clipping toenails is really hard. I ended up butchering one side of the nail on accident. I cut that side entirely way too short (like it hurts because I cut it so damn short on that side). Now my nail is super duper funky looking and painful. The nail is all lopsided and discolored and just gross looking. WHAT DID I DO?!?

I literally cannot stop looking at my funky toenail. And I worry excessively about what other people will think of my nasty feet. So even though I hate nail polish, I thought I would feel better about my gross toenail if I used a little paint. Since I don't own nail polish, I had to go to the store and waste money on the stupid crap. First, I tried a plum color. It looked AWFUL. Then I went with a shimmery white. STUPIDEST NAIL POLISH COLOR EVER. I guess I am going to head back to Rite Aid and try pink? Ugh. I don't like nail polish. I hate wasting money on this crap, but I also hate looking at my nasty toenail. John thinks I am just drawing more attention to my funky misshapen toenail, but I think the polish will help my funky toenail blend in with the rest of my normal toenails. Obviously I am clueless. HELP ME!


allyk said...

If it is a fungus you can soak your toes in white vinegar twice a day and that will get rid of it. I don't blame you for being worried about it because your feet will be in the stirrups and people may see them - what can I say, that's how my nutty mind works.

Carrie said...

Girl. get John to watch the kids and go get a pedicure. I know it costs a little more, but the pampering will help all the way around. It sounds like you don't have a fungus, just nail damage that is growing out. Yes, when it gets closer to the end of the nail it can get sore. The technician will rub your feet, the massage chair will rub your back, and your feet will be pretty. Pick a fun color, metallics, "crackle" colors and blue/greens are the rage right now. If color bothers you, ask them to do an American french nail, which has a pink base (should cover the discoloring) with white crescents on top so it looks like a normal toenail.

I know it's not your normal thing, but it might put you at ease, without having left over nail polish laying around.

Jenny said...

I agree with Carrie...sounds like it is bruising that is growing out..and I can imagine that being painful.

I would treat yourself to the pedicure, so you can relax a little and have some "you" time.

amanda said...

pedicure! pedicure! pedicure!!

Anonymous said...

i second the hot soaking. it can't hurt, and if there is any pressure from infection it will help break it up. as to the nail color, i have tried to be adventurous and always end up going back to red. red just looks good. plus, red should make your poor injured toe look pale in comparison!