Because I don't have enough shit to stress about

I am having a toenail crisis. I know that sounds trivial, but it is consuming my life! I probably have some weird toe fungus or something, which is just disgusting and embarrassing. Ugh. Since I am 9 months pregnant, I have decided to wait until I have this baby before I go to the doctor. But I'll tell you the story, just in case someone out there has some helpful advice.

Right after I found out I was pregnant, the nail on my right big toe developed a red crescent shape at the bottom. It looked like blood had pooled under the nail. I wasn't sure if I should make a big deal out of it, so I showed it to my OB and asked for her opinion. She assured me that I had just caused trauma to the nail and that the bloody part would eventually grow out. Even though I didn't remember hurting my toe, I decided to let it go. It was just a red spot on my nail. And besides, it was winter and my feet were always covered with socks and shoes anyways.

But then the weather got warm, and I started wearing flip flops everyday. The red part was no longer on the bottom of my nail. Now it was about mid-way up the nail and stretched across the entire surface. It was ugly, but I don't think anyone really noticed. Then a few weeks ago the nail REALLY started to hurt. It would just throb for no reason whatsoever. I thought maybe I was getting an ingrown toenail (I've never had an ingrown toenail before, so I am kind of clueless about these things). In an effort to stop the throbbing pain, I decided to clip the nail as short as I could. Except, I am insanely big and pregnant and clipping toenails is really hard. I ended up butchering one side of the nail on accident. I cut that side entirely way too short (like it hurts because I cut it so damn short on that side). Now my nail is super duper funky looking and painful. The nail is all lopsided and discolored and just gross looking. WHAT DID I DO?!?

I literally cannot stop looking at my funky toenail. And I worry excessively about what other people will think of my nasty feet. So even though I hate nail polish, I thought I would feel better about my gross toenail if I used a little paint. Since I don't own nail polish, I had to go to the store and waste money on the stupid crap. First, I tried a plum color. It looked AWFUL. Then I went with a shimmery white. STUPIDEST NAIL POLISH COLOR EVER. I guess I am going to head back to Rite Aid and try pink? Ugh. I don't like nail polish. I hate wasting money on this crap, but I also hate looking at my nasty toenail. John thinks I am just drawing more attention to my funky misshapen toenail, but I think the polish will help my funky toenail blend in with the rest of my normal toenails. Obviously I am clueless. HELP ME!

Being Artistic

When we bought the new bunk beds for Porgie and Izzy's room, I decided to change the room's theme. Both of my kids are currently obsessed with dinosaurs, so naturally I decided to head in that direction. I bought these adorable quilts from Bed, Bath, and Beyond...
I know the bedding seems a little boyish, but Porgie loved the design. Then I started looking at art for the walls. Although they had matching dinosaur pictures, the prints were over $20 a piece (and the were really small). Since I spent more on the bedding than I care to admit, I didn't want to spend hundreds of dollars on some goofy pictures of dinosaurs. So, being the determined pregnant woman that I am, I decided to make my own, frugal artwork...




I spent less than $20 on the entire project! Although I am usually super critical of my artwork, I actually really like these paintings. They are simple, cute, and they match the bedding. I was so impressed with my handiwork, that I decided to paint some new canvases for the baby's fishy themed room too...



Both bedrooms look great. I am awesome!

I think I broke my hip.

I love being pregnant. Honestly and truly, I do. But I am going to complain about something pregnancy related. For me, it is by far the WORST part of being pregnant. I am talking about pelvic/hip pain. I have entered the phase where all movement of my hips is excruciatingly painful. And hips are kind of important for things like WALKING and SITTING.

This is a problem I experienced with all three of my pregnancies. My hips hurt at the very end of my pregnancy with Porgie, nothing overly painful - just an annoyance. With Izzy, the pain started early (like around 20 weeks). By the end, the pain was pretty bad. I remember having trouble lifting my leg to get into my van. I was overweight when I got pregnant with him, so I accredited my wacky hip problems to being fat. But this time? Well, I was completely fine until about 2 weeks ago. Then suddenly my hip/pelvic area ached a lot at night. I found myself waking up in pain every few hours and having to find a new position to sleep in. This past week, the pain has been overwhelming. It hurts to walk. It hurts to sit. It hurts to get dressed. It hurts to get in my van. It hurts to roll over in bed. I am in pain pretty much ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I have to waddle at a snail's pace to keep my pelvis happy. And even then, I am always aware of a soreness in that region. It kind of feels like someone has kicked me in the pelvic area about 100 times. The really bizarre part is that I often hear a popping sound when I attempt to move my hips. It is almost like my bone is popping back into place. And I am not fat this time, so I know that I didn't inadvertently create the problem.

I complained to the OB, but she wasn't very helpful. She just told me how my joints are loosening up in preparation for delivery. I know the physical reason behind this problem, I just don't understand why the pain is so intense with this baby. I have been sleeping with a pillow between my legs, but it isn't helping at all. At this rate, I am fairly confident that I won't be able to walk by the time I reach 40 weeks.

Any advice or suggestions?

Getting stuff done, so I can enjoy other stuff

I did it! I have a freezer nearly packed with frozen meals. I still haven't made the trays of lasagna, but everything else is prepared and in the freezer. I am feeling really good about this accomplishment. Actually, I feel like I have gotten lots of crap done lately - just little things that make me feel better and more prepared for the upcoming birth of our baby.

1. I finally bought some newborn diapers and wipes. And I had coupons!
2. I threw out all the plastic BPA bottles I had stashed away in the closet and bought 3 glass bottles to replace them. I intend to breastfeed again, so I think 3 bottles is more than enough. I do plan on pumping and freezing some milk because I will most likely be having oral surgery at the end of the year.
3. Izzy broke our umbrella stroller last weekend. I went on Craigslist and found an $80 Chicco stroller for $30. We picked it up last night, and I REALLY like it. Much nicer than my $5 Kolcraft umbrella stroller.
4. John cleaned up the basement, and now we have easy access to all our baby gear.
5. I purchased two homecoming outfits - one for a girl and one for a boy. SO STINKING CUTE!
6. I am planning a special "kid's day" celebration for the first weekend in August. This day is going to be devoted entirely to Porgie and Izzy. There is going to be presents, candy, a trip to the natural history museum, and dinner at their favorite restaurant. One last hoorah with my babies before the new baby is born.

Sure, I still have lots more to do, but I feel prepared and ready. This baby will be born in less than a month! It is mind blowing how quickly this pregnancy has passed. It is summer time and unbearably hot here in NJ, but I still love being pregnant. I wish I could freeze time, so that I could enjoy this stage a little longer. I know this last month is going to zip by in the blink of an eye. I plan to spend the last few weeks cherishing these moments with my unborn baby and my family. Because this time next month, we will have a completely different life - a new person to love, new routines to adjust to, and new sleep habits to complain about (AKA no sleep for mommy). I just want to soak up every last moment of this pregnancy.

Complaints

I used to love going to the doctor when I was pregnant with Porgie. It was so exciting to hear the baby's heartbeat. And more importantly, it put my mind at ease knowing that she was growing and thriving in my womb. With Izzy, the appointments were more of a hassle, but I still looked forward to hearing my baby boy. But this time? Doctor appointments are such a pain in the ass. Seriously, do I really need to come in EVERY WEEK? Geez! I understand that the doctors just want to make sure everything is fine, but I wouldn't hesitate to make an appointment if I suspected that something was wrong. It is just a lot of work to make it to all these appointments.
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Summer, oh how I hate you. Why is it so freaking hot outside? Is a 100 degrees really necessary?
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My children keep getting sick, and it is beyond annoying. It is summer time dammit! I thought kids only got sick every other week in the winter. But every time I turn around, someone has a runny nose or a cough. Ugh.
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I am currently trying to teach my daughter to tie her shoe laces. It all started because Porgie wanted me to teach her to crochet. I told her that after she learned to tie her shoes, I would teach her to crochet. She promptly ran to the closet and got a pair of shoes. I showed her how to tie them a few times, and then she decided that she no longer needed my help. So, she spends large portions of her day trying to tie her shoes, while crying in frustration. She gets it right 1 out of every 10 attempts. It must be tough to be five. I can assure that it is extremely tough being the mother of a five year old.
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My husband has informed me that he will be out of town the first week of August. I will be 38 weeks pregnant. Is he trying to make me have a nervous breakdown? What if I go into labor while he is gone? I don't even have any family in NJ to rely on in his absence. I would be completely alone. John also has some big week long work conference thing in Atlanta, GA in September. I will have a ONE MONTH OLD. Just thinking about it pisses me off. I know that he has to fulfill his work obligations, but I can't help but be a little disappointed.
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The muffler on my van is hanging down at an odd angle. We have a million speed bumps in our neighborhood and every time I go over one, I can hear the muffler scrap the blacktop. So now, in addition to all the other insane expenses that keep popping up, we have to have my muffler fixed. AWESOME.
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I have more to bitch about, but I think I'll end this post before you become bored with my pity party.

Getting ready

During the first three month after I gave birth to both Porgie and Izzy, John and I were completely unable to cook dinner. I was tired and stressed and overwhelmed, so I didn't even really consider cooking. I eagerly gave that responsibility over to John. Of course, he was tired and stress and overwhelmed too, so we just ended up eating out ALL THE TIME. That my friends, is a very expensive habit.

With this baby, I would prefer not to throw money away on fast food every single night. So, I am going to attempt to prepare a few weeks worth of meals and freeze them. I have some dishes in mind, but I am not sure if they all freeze well (like the mac n' cheese). If you have any advice or suggestions, I would love to hear them. Here is my list of meals so far...

Chili (x2)
Gumbo
Lasagna (x2)
Cincinnati style chili (x2)
Marconi and cheese
Broccoli casserole
Tamale Pie
Gnocchi (x2)
Pizza dough (x2)

If I can successfully make all of these meals before the big day, we should have at least two weeks worth of meals. By that point the baby will be about a month old (because John will be home to cook during the first 2 weeks). Then (hopefully) I'll be able to resume my normal cooking duties without too much fuss. I also want to have at least 6 loaves of bread baked and in the freezer.

Wish me luck. I have lots to do before the big day!

I am stressed out

Picking a new health insurance plan the month before your due date is extremely hard. The new plan goes into effect two weeks before I will deliver, so it is extremely important that we pick the right plan. I have been researching and stressing out about every detail of the new plan options. My husband, on the other hand, seems to have completely forgotten about the health insurance. He just wants to go with the cheapest plan and forget about it. I wish I was so naive and carefree.

John's employer hasn't given us much of an option. We basically have two plans to choose from - a PPO with incredibly high premiums or a cheap HSA plan with an incredibly high deductible. Financially, we are going to get screwed either way we go, so I guess I shouldn't be so stressed about it. The part that has me all worked up is that maternity benefits aren't listed in the description of the plans. I am confident that the PPO covers maternity, but I am not so sure about the high deductible plan. I have made my husband email the woman who is in charge of insurance for his company, but she can't seem to comprehend my request. It is actually very simple - I just want something from the insurance company stating the maternity benefits for each plan. But instead, she just keeps emailing my husband to say that maternity benefits are covered. She seems like a nice lady and all, but I want something from the INSURANCE COMPANY. I have been screwed over by health insurance companies too many time to accept a generic statement from a woman in the HR department.

In other news, I am growing! Holy crap, I gained 8 pounds in the last two weeks! I don't know how that is even possible, but my scale keeps insisting that I have gained all that weight. Ugh. I am trying not to stress about it too much, but I really don't understand how I gained that much. I have been eating the same as every other week. I know I have some swelling issues, but I hardly think I am retaining that much water.

I hate hate HATE that I am stressing about my weight. This is my last pregnancy, and I want to enjoy it. My weight has always gone up and down, so if I gain too much with this baby, it is not the end of the world for me. I can lose it. I know that I can. But for some reason, I wake up and weigh myself every morning. It is a sickness, but I can't stop.

Here is a picture of me at 34 weeks 5 days...And just for fun, here is a picture of my lopsided legs. I have lots of swelling on the right side of my body ONLY. Isn't that weird?

Bunk beds are hard

The bunk beds continue to wreak havoc on bedtime, but things are getting better. My children will not go straight to sleep, despite their level of exhaustion. They have to laugh and yell and play for at least 30 minutes. I have come to accept this as part of the bunk bed arrangement.

For the past several weeks, I would let them play for about 30 minutes and then I would go in and try to convince them to go to sleep. Of course, this rarely worked. Most nights, I would have to go back in (usually around 10pm by this time) and yell at them. Then, finally, they would settle down and go to sleep.

This week has been different though. I changed my tactics. I have been ignoring them completely, regardless of whether they have been playing for 45 minutes or 2 hours. And surprisingly, they seem to be falling asleep sooner (sometimes). The first few nights they fell asleep around 10pm. Then Porgie started falling asleep around 9:30 and Izzy reluctantly went to sleep around 10pm. But then on Wednesday night, they were both sound asleep by 9pm! I thought we had passed some sort of bunk bed milestone, and I went to bed happy on Wednesday night. Of course, they were completely out-of-control on Thursday night and didn't go to sleep until well after 10pm. Ugh.

Fingers crossed that we can get this problem fixed before the new baby arrives. I don't expect them to be perfect, but if they could just tone it down and go to sleep before I do, that would be great.

When did my kid get so smart?

Porgie is five, and she is absolutely amazing. My daughter loves learning. She remembers EVERYTHING. She is so self motivated that doing school work with her is incredibly fun.

Last year I went to a homeschooling used curriculum sale. I didn't end up buy any curriculum material, however I did buy some games and puzzles. One of the puzzles I bought was a map of the United States. The pieces are the shapes of the 50 states, so it is somewhat challenging. My daughter has mastered this puzzle, and she is getting really good at reading all of the state names. She is so awesome, and I am so lucky to be her mommy...

Dance rectial 2011

Porgie's big dance recital was last Friday. This year's performance was so much fun. She tap danced to Little Shop of Horrors, and she did an amazing job. I was so proud of her!

It is amazing how much she has matured over the past several months. She took her dance routine VERY seriously this year. And she was super duper excited about performing on stage. After the show, she told me that next year she wants to dance onstage by herself. A solo performance at age five - she is ambitious!



Could they be any cuter?

The third child

My mother had three children. I was the oldest, and I was also the only one with a completed baby book. I understand, because the more kids you have, the less time you have. Even though time is tight, I want all of my kids to have a scrapbook dedicated to their first year.

Yesterday I went to the craft store to purchase an album for the new baby. I picked out the perfect scrapbook. Then I came home and tried to find my 20 week ultrasound pictures. I have no freaking idea where I put those pictures. I have searched every possible place I can think of. They are lost, and who knows when or where they'll turn up.

Poor third baby.