I think it is over. My beautiful breastfeeding experience is coming to an abrupt end. I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. One minute, I feel completely at peace with this new turn of events. The next minute, I feel overwhelmingly sad.
I struggled to breastfeed Porgie. We had latching issues. We had lazy nursing habits. We had failure to gain weight. Ultimately these problems led me to pump exclusively for nearly 6 months. And I hated it.
When I was pregnant with Izzy, I was terrified of breastfeeding again. But my little guy was born eager and ready to nurse. Since day one, he has been a champion nurser. He loved to nurse so much, that he turned into the chunkiest exclusively-breastfed-newborn most doctors had ever seen.
And although I had my doubts at first, I grew to love nursing my baby boy. For the past 16 months, we have nursed every single day. It was easy and effortless and ENJOYABLE. I actually looked forward to feeding Izzy. It was such a special time between mommy and baby.
But, my little guy has been sick. For almost two weeks now, Izzy has had a really bad cold - complete with a cough and runny nose. In this time frame, he has nursed about 3 times. He can't nurse and breathe. So naturally, he refuses to nurse. At first I was committed to pumping during those missed nursing sessions. However after three days, I grew sick of pumping all the time. So, as you might have guessed, I decided to stop pumping.
To my surprise, I am not engorged at all. And Izzy doesn't really seem to mind all those missed nursing sessions. In fact, when I sit down to nurse him, he just tries to roll away from me.