Friday, December 5, 2008

Sleep? I don't need to stinking sleep.

When I first started blogging, I often whined and complained about Porgie's horrible sleeping habits. I was desperate for answers. I just wanted someone to tell me how to get her to stay asleep. Although my readers did offer suggestions, the only thing that really produced results was not responding to her every whimper (AKA - letting her cry). Please do not leave a comment telling me that you could never let your child cry at night, because you have never walked in my shoes. And please do not discuss Attachment Parenting in the comments, because my children are constantly in my arms during the day. I have devoted my entire life to ensuring that they are happy and healthy little people.

When I was pregnant with Izzy, I was optimistic that he would be a "sleeper." You know, the baby who naturally starts sleeping through the night at 6 weeks of age. The baby who can sleep in the car, in the stroller, or even in a busy restaurant. The baby who puts himself to sleep without mommy's participation. I did NOT get that baby. Instead, I got a perfect little boy who liked to wake every hour or two all night long. I got a little boy who only napped for 20 minutes at a stretch. I got a little boy who would only fall asleep in his dark, quiet bedroom.

It has been difficult, but I have tried to refrain from discussing Izzy's sleeping issues excessively on my blog. No-one wants to hear me bitch and moan about sleep deprivation for an entire year. But I have had lots to bitch about, because Izzy has been an extremely wakeful baby. At one year of age, he still wakes 3 to 4 times per night. On a really good night, he'll only wake twice. But lately, we have been having 4 nursing sessions per night. And I am tired. Actually, I am exhausted.

I have re-read all of my sleep books. I have read countless message boards on sleep. I have questioned family members and friends. But despite my efforts, Izzy is still not sleeping. So, I have decided that it is time to stop responding to every whimper. It is time to teach Izzy an important life skill. It is time for mommy to get some sleep.

27 comments:

J'Ollie Primitives said...

He'll live.
Get some sleep honey!

Midwest Mommy said...

Turn the monitor off and sleep. I feel for you. I can't imagine still getting up with LM that many times.

Carrie said...

Girl---stop beating yourself up and let him cry, it's not going to hurt him. Did it hurt Porgie? I'm firmly in the cry it out camp. Of course, I say that now, if in a year I'm whining about it, feel free to call me on it. ;-)

Hugs!

Danielle said...

I hope you get some sleep! let us know how it goes. That is a sweet pic!

dani said...

sweet dreams, christy:)
love,
dani

Jiff said...

You know what's best for your baby, so do what you have to do. And good luck!! Hope you get some sleep. :) Sweet dreams. :)

amanda said...

i remember one of my real life bff's telling me to turn off the monitor for weeks. i finally listened, tears (mine) and all.

it. was. the. best. sleep. ever.

you can do it friend :)

Becca said...

I wish I had some good advice for you. I got lucky with Ava and she was sleeping 9 hour stretches at 7 weeks. I have heard that after 6 months babies can go up to 10 hours without food so maybe he's nursing for comfort??? I have a friend who had a baby who was the same way and it just took a little time. Is there anyway that your husband could go in there when he wakes up? I know it's alot to ask but sometimes when someone other than mommy goes in they go back to sleep faster.

Turning off the monitor is a good way to go about it. If he's really upset you will hear him anyway. They magnify every little sound as I'm sure you already know, and alot of times babies will cry in their sleep, and then fall back asleep on their own. If we go and get them it can cause them to wake more.

It sounds like you definately need some sleep, and you are a great mommy for taking such good care of them, but can you imagine how much energy you will have for them if you are getting good sleep!

Becks said...

I hear you on this one!! Sophia still wakes a couple times a night and I am beat!! I have started letting her cry it out because she is fine and doesn't need to eat. She just wakes and wants to be held or play. So exhausting. I have reached my breaking point and she has to realize its time to sleep!! I am so tired in the days I feel like a bad mom. So the day has come for sleep in this household!!! I am right there with ya and I hope for the best with you getting some sleep!

Cutest picture ever of Izzy sleeping!!

Heather @ boy, girl, and a pug said...

Think of everything you could get done without sleep:) We've been letting Ella cry for a bit. However, I feel kind of bad since her 4 molars are coming in right now and she's in pain. That and I'm a push over:)

jen said...

oh honey.
i'm totally right there with you in the middle of the night.
ugh.
last night, i stopped nursing cora at night.
it sucked big time.
she sobbed when i told her that num-nums were night night.
(aka boobs are sleeping).
the hardest part is that to get sleep ... you must first lose out on more sleep.
argh.
i have my fingers crossed for a smooth transition for you.

Awake said...

no advice, just commiseration. have a drink before bed. :)

Lainey-Paney said...

I think it is important for little ones to learn to self soothe.

Steph said...

I hope you get some sleep. You are a great momma, you just remember that!

TEACHBROECK said...

GOOD LUCK! I thought I had all the answers about sleeping...K slept through the night at 3 weeks...Baby J at 6 weeks...but now at 6 months I am up at least 2 times a night and try everything before I just give in and give him the bottle. I really hope it is just getting 4 teeth at 6 months old. I will get a sitter for us both and we can just sleep!

TEACHBROECK said...

PS that good luck was genuine...it looked a little sassy the way I wrote it ...=)

Mama Smurf said...

You'll get no negative comments from me girl! I "ferberized" all three of my kids and do NOT apologize for it! Best thing I ever did for both myself and my babies! A well slept mommy makes for a happy mommy.

How can such a precious looking baby be such a trouble maker...I say this in jest, of course. I know he's not a trouble maker...so please don't send me hate mail. =)

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Sounds like my kids. I eventually had to let them cry too. It's the only thing that worked for us.

Amanda said...

I feel sorry for you ~ having 4 kids i have had my share of sleepless nights, and it's not fun. Letting the youngest cry at night was the only thing that helped us (controlled crying).
He will sleep through ~ hang in there.
Love,
Amanda x

chris said...

Sleep or no sleep, that's a precious picture.

Rachel said...

Oh Christy-I know how hard it was for you with porgie and maybe it will be a lil easier with him being younger but of course still hard. I am sorry. I have no advice to offer as I am still having Max wake up once a night and he is almost 2. You know my sleep stories so I do not have anything else to say except I am always here to hear you. xo

Z's Mom said...

Amen.....its definitely time. If the baby is not hurt or sick..I say let them cry....they continue to do it if they continue to get a response from you when they do. I hope you get some sleep.....

Eva said...

It worked for #1, so I hope it will work for #2. :)

Tabitha said...

I couldn't agree with you more Christy! That is exactly what I had to do with both of mine and it worked!!
I hope you get that much needed sleep soon ~ I remember the total exhaustion of never actually having a proper nights sleep (for years!!). I promise you it does get better!
Love and big hugs Tabitha XXXXXXXX

Rose said...

I hope it gets better for you. Alessia has been waking up more frequently lately - the worst has been every hour, which she didn't even do when we first brought her home from the hospital. I'm assuming it'll get better! You just have to do what feels right for you.

anymommy said...

All three of mine cried it out eventually, when I hit the wall on getting up. They're all fine ;-) Sleep, darling.

Clare said...

oh sweetie, he is so cute laying there. you are a great mom. i let bradley 'cry it out' at eight weeks. it took 7 days to truly get him to put himself to sleep and he did it. at 5 months when he finally slept through the entire night without being nursed, i decided he can do it without me. i never went back in...ever...only once when he threw up. i am totally serious, crazy as it sounds, through teething and everything he just doesn't call out for me. it will actually upset him more now if i go in because i am worried. i guess you might think i am a bad mom, but i am a much worse mom without sleep...MUCH worse. you can do it, good luck!!