Thursday, September 11, 2008

Stream of Consciousness: Part 23

I fell off the wagon last week. I am officially addicted to Coca Cola Classic again. I am so weak.
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Porgie is addicted to apple juice. She asks me for juice approximately 4,831 times per day.
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Izzy is addicted to breastmilk. He still nurses 7 to 8 times in a 24 hour period.
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I have been spending lots of time at Target lately. I bought Porgie 5 new fall outfits this week. Now I am excited for fall to get here, so she can wear all of her spiffy new clothes. On the other hand, I have only purchased 2 outfits for Izzy. Boy clothes are no fun.
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Since having our carpet cleaned last week, Izzy has spit up on the carpet 4 times, Porgie has spit out food on the carpet 87 times, and my dog shit on the carpet 1 time. What is up with that? I totally expected the spit up and food, but dog shit? Grrrrrrr.
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We had Izzy's 9 month photos taken last week. I have two words for you - FUCKING ADORABLE. Yes, I had to drop the f-bomb. Seriously, they are the cutest pictures ever.
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Last year Porgie suffered from diarrhea for several months. I took her to the doctor, and they diagnosed it as "toddler diarrhea." Which basically means that they had no idea why she had diarrhea. I started feeding her yogurt and adding probiotics to her food, and the diarrhea went away. Well, it's back. For the past week, Porgie has had horrible diarrhea. My poor girl pooped no less than 7 times today.
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I had three bars of chocolate last week. THREE! I stepped on the scale this morning expecting the worst, but I was pleasantly surprised. I lost THREE pounds. How is that even possible? So, if you're trying to kick those last few pounds, try eating large amounts of chocolate.
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Peace out homies!

23 comments:

Stefanie said...

Good for you on the eating 3 chocolate bars. I think I will follow suit!

Just Jiff said...

Dang. I'm looking for chocolate NOW. And never clean your carpet...because it just gets yakked on, pooped on, etc. :)

dani said...

that candy bar diet definitely DOESN'T work for me; i've tried it and have(_l_) to show for it, christy:b but, awesome for you, tee-hee!!!
too bad about the carpet... i've got to go clean up cat puke when i get off here and get in the mood:S disgusting!!!
i hope porgie is feeling better soon. diarrhea sucks as does puking!!!
other than that mrs. lincoln, how was your day???
love,
dani

Kate Coveny Hood said...

So are we going to see the f-ing adorable pictures? Sorry - can't actually say it. I already did on my blog today and I think I've hit my quota for the year.

Anonymous said...

I'm totally going on the Coke and chocolate diet.

Amanda said...

Poor Porgie, i hope her tummy is better soon:)
I'm off to buy lots and lots of chocolate now!!
l,
Amanda x

Anonymous said...

I am totally going on the Coke and chocolate diet.

And diarrhea...no fun for either of you, I'm sure.

Marni's Organized Mess said...

It might be the coke and chocolate combo. Caffeine major makes me lose weight!

amanda said...

ok i am a total dork bc when i read the first one about falling off the wagon, i literally had this picture of you in my mind riding in a wagon with porgie and her like pushing you out. then i read the next sentence.

Dana said...

i love coke too.... i really try not to drink it cause of the sugar!! i let myself every now and then!! but it is yummy!

Becks said...

No fair! I am so bitter over here!! I will try the 3 bars of chocolate diet. I am a weak ass too and am still crazy addicted to my beloved diet pepsi!

That really sucks about Porgie's bathroom issues. Poor girl!!

The carpet thing I can sorta relate to. When I got my brand new car (years ago now), it got knicked and hit and I ran into a post with it. My old car nothing ever happened to it ever. So wierd!

Anyways peace out sista!

Tabitha said...

Oh dear ~ your poor carpet ~ I must admit ~ mine has seen its share of puke and poo over the years ~ the joys of parenthood ha ha !!
Glad you lost 3 pounds ~ I think I will skip the chocolate though ~ as I would not stop at 3 bars ~ it would be 3 million ha ha !!
love and hugs XXX

Mama Smurf said...

LOL right now because as I read this I'm munching on a bag of peanut m&ms. I'm a diet coke and chocolate freak and yet I STILL cant lose a pound...any other suggestions?

Danielle said...

your freakin hysterical. I want to see Izzy's pics!!!!

Antropóloga said...

Peace out homies? I love it!

Rachel said...

I love these type of posts. So much info and no idea as to what to comment on except you are hysterical-all of the time. I wish my posts were this amusing. I am happy we are buddies.

Also I oxy clean my carpets by hand when they get bad stains-or at least when I am motivated.

Jen said...

Christy, I shit you not- CHOCOLATE MAKES YOU LOSE WEIGHT. I try to eat chocolate every day and I am not doing too bad- let me tell you!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE that chocolate diet....it hasn't been working so far though.

Maybe Porgie's diarrhea is related to all the juice. Z has a serious juice addiction too...its because he and Porgie are related somehow I'm sure.

Are we going to get to see Izzy's pics??? :)

anymommy said...

Does ice cream work because I eat my weight in ice cream daily! We just got our year pictures back - I could go broke, seriously. Can you scan and post some, or is that illegal?

kristi said...

I think I will have some chocolate today!

Becca said...

Ava asks for apple juice all day long too...I can't seem to get her to drink anything else. I'm just waiting for her teeth to rot and fall out.

I need to clean my carpet, but am afraid to for the said reasons you mentioned. I'm just glad at this point the only place my house is carpeted is the bedrooms, because the child spills/throws something on the floor approx 86 times a day.

Mary said...

I wish that eating chocolate could work for me! I look at chocolate and gain 3 lbs.

Stephanie said...

Nice losing AND eating chocolate!

I want new carpet in my house but think I'll be waiting!