Sunday, September 14, 2008

Losing the poundage

I don't really like discussing my weight on this blog, because frankly, I am not a very serious dieter. One week I am very strict and the next week, not so much. But despite my shortcomings, I have been making process.

I hate using real numbers when I talk about my largeness. HATE IT. But I am going to suck it up, and give you the real details - the astronomical numbers, in all their glory. I am tall, about 5'10". When I weighed 140 pounds, I was stick thin. I think this is important to establish, because I am not as morbidly obese as I sound.

I started high school weighing 140 pounds, and I graduated weighing 170. Although it is probably not his fault, I like to blame my weight gain on John. When we started dating, he would take me out to eat, buy me chocolates, and then compliment my puffy body.

Next came college, and even more weight gain. I started at a relatively healthy weight. At 170 pounds, I wasn't stick thin, but I wasn't excessively fat either. Of course at the time, I thought I was a blimp. Over the next 3 years, I gained another 20 pounds. I can't really account for this weight gain. It happened slowly, and I barely noticed it. My last year of college is when I went off the deep end. I was student teaching, and I was miserable. I HATED teaching kindergarten. I thought that my cooperating teacher didn't like me. I was sick of constantly be observed. So I did the only sensible thing I could think of - I drown my sorrows in donuts and cookies. I didn't even feel guilty for indulging in these sugary pleasures. I needed them to survive. When I graduated from college, I weighed a whooping 215 pounds (blush)!

I knew that the scale had been creeping up up up, but I didn't realize how fat I actually looked until I received my graduation pictures in the mail. I was enormous. I was so ashamed of the photos, that I threw them away. I kind of regret that decision now, but at the time I was mortified.

After graduation, I started substitute teaching. Life improved dramatically. I was subbing 3 or 4 times per week, eating healthier, and excising more. In the course of 7 months, I lost 45 pounds. I got back down to 170 pounds. Once again, I felt comfortable in my skin. I could easily fit into my size 12 pants. Life was good.

I maintained my weight until I got pregnant with Porgie. I gained 40 pounds during my pregnancy, but lost nearly all of the weight by 6 weeks postpartum. But then something happened. I was feeling a little lonely and lost here in New Jersey. I didn't have any friends or family to visit. It was just me and Porgie sitting home together all day. I started packing on the pounds. By the time I got pregnant with Izzy, I weighed about 215 pounds again. I was soooooo embarrassed when I had to be weighed at my first prenatal appointment. So embarrassed.

After I had Izzy, I quickly dropped down to about 200 pounds. By the time I had my gallbladder surgery, I was down to 190. And today, I weigh 180 pounds and wear a snug size 14. I really hope that I can lose about 20 more pounds, putting me at 160 pounds. I have no dreams of being super skinny - I love food way too much. Instead, I just want to fit comfortably into a size 12 again, maybe even a size 10.

What about you? Do you have any weight loss goals?

30 comments:

Eva said...

I'm five five and weigh about 165 right now. I was at about 200 when I got married five years ago. I graduated high school at 145. I was a size eight then, probably about perfect for my body. However, even then, at that weight, my mom and doctor complained about my weight all the time. My mom made me exercise. Blah blah. It was at college I gained all that weight. I was at 192 when I got pregnant, and have lost, then, almost 30 pounds with not a lot of effort. Just being busy, avoiding certain ingredients, being out and about more with the baby. If I got to 150 that'd be nice, but I'm pretty happy now. I'm a size 12 but I can actually g

Eva said...

Uh... get into some of my high school, size 8, things.

Mary said...

I think you're doing a great job. You are losing weight and not making yourself completely miserable doing it.

I was never overweight until after I had E. I lost most of the pregnancy weight by the time she was 3 or 4 months...then I got depressed and the pounds kept adding up. I finally was able to lose 30 lbs, which was still no where near my goal weight, years later only to learn I was pregnant with C. I didn't gain much with that pregnancy, but it's been painfully slow coming off since she was born.

I eat right and I exercise a lot, so I know I'm healthy even if I don't look like it. I long to be comfortable in my skin again. I remember being in high school and thinking if I wore a size 12 I would be so fat. Now I'm thinking if I could squeeze into a 12 I'd be so skinny! LOL

Dooneybug said...

I have aspirations but I haven't gotten the kick in the pants to actually make progress. I really should though, I have A LOT to loose.

dani said...

hey, christy:)
i'm in a snug 14 right now and would like to be in a comfortable 10 or 8!!! that would be about 30lbs for me (i'm only 5 4".
as you know i have been dieting; i haven't lost but 2lbs in the last 2 1/2 weeks (which sucks!!!). it is time to add exercise; but i don't think i'm mentally prepared for it, yet...
good luck on yours!!!
love,
dani

Z's Mom said...

Good for you, Christy. You and I have the same dream....although, I'm 5' 4"....so I'm rounder than you! :P

Its been hard lately....things are so busy....I'm just too tired to exercise....something's gotta give!

Colleen said...

I'm right there with ya! Over the years my weight has creeped up a bit and I decided lately I'd finally do something about it! We recently joined the Y and I'm hoping to lose about 10 lbs by Christmas. I say it doesn't matter how much you lose so long as you're eating healthier and exercising more!

BTW - I have a little somethin' for ya at my blog!

Tabitha said...

I am sure you can get there ~ although I know that it is not easy!!
I still want to lose that last 2 stone (28 pounds) ~ then I will be where I want to be!!
love and hugs XXXX

Amanda said...

Christy, i hear you!
I am the same height as you and weigh the same as you did at your heaviest. I am too, trying to lose weight. Some weeks are easy, some weeks are hard and i can think of nothing but food!
Good luck getting to your goal!
l,
Amanda x

Heather @ A Boy, A Girl, A Pug said...

My weight loss plan? Chemo! I don't really want to eat anything. That's not much fun either though!

I am currently 5'10 and weigh 145. I'm ok with it. I like my size 8. I will never be a size 2 and I am ok with that.

You'll get there. Just keep breastfeeding Izzy until you are the size you want to be. Who cares if he's 5 by then. I won't judge.

Promise:)

Amber said...

It sounds like you are on your way to being 20 lbs lighter! I myself would like to lose 30-35 more pounds but my weight isn't budging, grr! Could be that I don't diet at all because I'm way too picky of an eater :)

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Good for you writing such an honest post. It's hard to publicize numbers - but I think that it also makes you feel a little more serious about your goals.

Have you been following Amy in Ohio (http://amyinohio.wordpress.com/)? She started a weightloss blog with some other ladies in Cincinnati (http://www.cincinnatilosers.blogspot.com/) and I think it's pretty inspirational.

I have finally gotten to a point in life where I'm happy with the size I'm wearing and am more forgiving about the little things. I don't own a scale - I just have a pair of jeans that tells me if it's time to cut back on some of the treats.

I liked the part about hating your graduation picture. I had WAY too much fun my senior year of college - going out every night and ordering a lot of take out. So I look particularly bloated in my yearbook and it KILLS me that this is what people will look at when they want to be reminded of who I am!

Becca said...

I have major weight loss goals, but I just can't seem to get started. I have gone up and down most of my adult life, and the smallest I got was 154 when I got married three years ago. I was hot. I wore size 8, and I even wore a, gasp, bikini on my honeymoon. I gained alot of weight when I got pregnant with Ava and never took it off. I seriously need to get motivated because I have told myself I want to lose weight and get healthy before I get pregnant again!

Jennifer said...

I think most of us have weight issues. I am 5'4" and 213, so I have a lot of weight to get off. I carry it mainly in my chest and stomach. I wear a size 18 and feel like I should wear a 6 or 8 since I'm not very tall. Since having Bayley I just don't care about my size as much. I am more active but the weight is still here. I love food too much too. :(

Carrie said...

Eek! You are opening a can of worms! Congrats on you current weight loss, you've done great!

I'm 5'6"
High school: 118 (all muscle-year round competitive swimmer)
College: 125
23-30: 128 (theatre work and waiting tables keeps you thin)
31: 120 (devastating break up with 1st fiancée--I looked sick)
33: 130 (I got up to 140 in happy weight, then lost 10 for my wedding)
36: 142 (Stopped being strict with my diet to get preggers)
36 today: 146---16 weeks 2 day's pregger weight.

I'm mildly freaking out about gaining baby weight. Not enough to stop me from eating 5 Public chocolate chip cookies yesterday...but....

My after baby weight goal is 130. I'm planning on going back to the diet that I lost my weight for my wedding. The Quick Weight Loss Center plan. It's a glycemic index type diet. You only eat things on the list and they have strict proportions, but you eat 4-6 times a day and you can have as much raw green veggies as you want. The name is deceptive. You only lose weight quickly if you are very overweight, otherwise its 1 to 3 lbs per week.

Rachel said...

Christy-let me first say that you are so beautiful and your smile shines. Let me also say that I am a nut when it comes to weight loss and I am not looking forward to after baby weight etc.

My goal is not to pile the food on daily during this pregnancy.

Thanks for sharing such intimate numbers.

Catizhere said...

I'm 5'5" and weigh around 150-160 (I haven't stepped on a scale since my 6 week postpartum checkup with Will.

I'm generally happy with my body, unless I'm naked. Then I'm all, Oooh, that's not right.

I was always "The Thin One" in my family, so anytime I go over a 10, I get a little goofy & eat nothing but salad. Healthy right?

All I really need is to get out and MOVE a little bit. If it weren't for these little people, I could walk & ride my bike.

Jenn said...

You already know how I'm feeling about my weight from my post a couple weeks ago. The most I ever weighed was 153 that was the day I went to the hospital to have my 7lb 15 oz baby and I gained 40 pounds with him. Then I got divorced and dropped to 138 and looked good and was happy there. I met my now husband and all of a sudden went back up to 150,got married and was here alone for two years ,I don't know anyone since I started blogging in May this is the most I have talked to adults in the last three years.
Anyways I gained weight big time sitting at home alone I got pregnant for Brody and I only gained 18 pounds and weighed 208 when I had him now he's 7 months old and I still weigh 204 OMG !
I have been biking everyday for an hour when he sleeps. Now that it's not so hot out ,I'm going to start putting him in the stroller and walking with him too,I'm sad and unhappy with my weight and how fat and ugly I look. I would be so happy to be even 140 ! So I understand how you feel and you sure are not alone.

Kristin said...

oh man, I don't think there is enough room in comments for my answer! I have posted about it on my blog before too...I have about 50 lbs to loose. I am having the same struggles. ugh. Thanks for sharing, I know its hard, but it does help to feel more accountable. Way to go on your loss so far!

Jenny said...

I am right there with you...I might be a trainer but we all have our issues. I told my husband this week, is the week to change. I tried on a pair of shorts that fit me a couple of months ago and now they don't. I totally think my butt got bigger! So tonight we are going to look at a jogging stroller so I can take Will on the run with me. Sometimes things like that inspire me to keep on moving. With Halloween coming up...I have to stay away from the sweets, my worst enemy!
Good Luck on your journey!

Dana said...

i wish you luck wityh the weightloss... I too need to diet ASAP.. i feel i need to eat healthier too I hate the fat feeling..

Steph said...

You are doing good. The fact that you are working on it and doing what is best for you is awesome.

Jeninacide said...

I gained 40 pounds when I was pregnant with Cole and it took me about 6 months to take it all off. I am a REALLY bad dieter. I don't like to deprive myself of things like chocolate and CARBS- so I have done it mostly by exercising... My current goals are more geared towards fitness than thinness.

TEACHBROECK said...

God luck to you and way to be brave! I aM a comphy 14 and want to be a 12 or even a 10 like I was 5 years ago...but when I was at my thinnest I was also my saddest and didn't care about myself...I am tall too...not 5 10 though! I want to lose 15 pounds ....don't try very hard though!

Mama Kalila said...

That's great!

I think it's important to keep in mind the body type and not focus on numbers alone... My husband at 270 has been very embarrassed by how much he weighs, but after a recent xray found out that he's really only 40 lbs overweight. His bones are 3x's as dense as they should be... if he loses any more than 50 lbs (his goal now) he would be very unhealthy. Note: I've been trying to tell him for awhile that he wasn't as fat (his word not mine) as he thought he was. Unfortunately he's been told that for so long (esp my his mother) that I had real trouble getting him to believe it until that dr talked to him.

Me... I'm trying to gain some back. I lost my baby weight & then some. I'm not surprised (although not happy either) because I've always had problems keeping it on until I did get pg (50 lbs my dr was not happy I gained so much lol). Part of it is a high metabolism.. but I'm hypoglycemic too & have really struggled w/ it for years. When you're trying to stay healthy & weight just keeps falling off it's not a good thing either. I've literally had people tell me I was anorexic or bolemic when I knew I wasn't. I love to eat too lol. That doesn't make for a good self image either. I wish people would think before they would say stuff about another persons weight...

amanda said...

wow honey - long distance high five for sharing all the digits.

i have always struggled - eating disorder from junior high into freshman year of college.

really trying not to go there again. but luckily i like food too much. instead of crazy weight loss plans, i just want to live a healthy life style.

i type of course as i eat a mini pay day!! looks like i have some work to do :)

anymommy said...

You rock, that is hard stuff to share. I know you are beautiful just as you are, but I also know how much meeting these goals can mean to your self-esteem. So, good luck!

Kristin H. said...

Your numbers match my numbers (sorta.) I'm up to about 210 (5'10)right now after yo-yo'ing after my kids were delivered. I would love to be down to 180 again and am working out on a more regualr basis, but it isn't as easy as it used to be.

Like you, I looked at pictures of myself at 215 and wanted to cry. I couldn't believe how much weight I had gained in a reltively short period of time.

I guess I have to just keep on with it and stay positive.

Danielle said...

You can do it! I am finally happy with my weight and just maintaining right now. Being vegan really helps me watch what I eat.

Susan said...

I have been trying to get 10 or so pounds off for the past year. Up down. Up down. Up down. Ten pounds isn't the be all end all, but it's tiring.

Found you on AllMediocre, btw!