Losing the poundage

I don't really like discussing my weight on this blog, because frankly, I am not a very serious dieter. One week I am very strict and the next week, not so much. But despite my shortcomings, I have been making process.

I hate using real numbers when I talk about my largeness. HATE IT. But I am going to suck it up, and give you the real details - the astronomical numbers, in all their glory. I am tall, about 5'10". When I weighed 140 pounds, I was stick thin. I think this is important to establish, because I am not as morbidly obese as I sound.

I started high school weighing 140 pounds, and I graduated weighing 170. Although it is probably not his fault, I like to blame my weight gain on John. When we started dating, he would take me out to eat, buy me chocolates, and then compliment my puffy body.

Next came college, and even more weight gain. I started at a relatively healthy weight. At 170 pounds, I wasn't stick thin, but I wasn't excessively fat either. Of course at the time, I thought I was a blimp. Over the next 3 years, I gained another 20 pounds. I can't really account for this weight gain. It happened slowly, and I barely noticed it. My last year of college is when I went off the deep end. I was student teaching, and I was miserable. I HATED teaching kindergarten. I thought that my cooperating teacher didn't like me. I was sick of constantly be observed. So I did the only sensible thing I could think of - I drown my sorrows in donuts and cookies. I didn't even feel guilty for indulging in these sugary pleasures. I needed them to survive. When I graduated from college, I weighed a whooping 215 pounds (blush)!

I knew that the scale had been creeping up up up, but I didn't realize how fat I actually looked until I received my graduation pictures in the mail. I was enormous. I was so ashamed of the photos, that I threw them away. I kind of regret that decision now, but at the time I was mortified.

After graduation, I started substitute teaching. Life improved dramatically. I was subbing 3 or 4 times per week, eating healthier, and excising more. In the course of 7 months, I lost 45 pounds. I got back down to 170 pounds. Once again, I felt comfortable in my skin. I could easily fit into my size 12 pants. Life was good.

I maintained my weight until I got pregnant with Porgie. I gained 40 pounds during my pregnancy, but lost nearly all of the weight by 6 weeks postpartum. But then something happened. I was feeling a little lonely and lost here in New Jersey. I didn't have any friends or family to visit. It was just me and Porgie sitting home together all day. I started packing on the pounds. By the time I got pregnant with Izzy, I weighed about 215 pounds again. I was soooooo embarrassed when I had to be weighed at my first prenatal appointment. So embarrassed.

After I had Izzy, I quickly dropped down to about 200 pounds. By the time I had my gallbladder surgery, I was down to 190. And today, I weigh 180 pounds and wear a snug size 14. I really hope that I can lose about 20 more pounds, putting me at 160 pounds. I have no dreams of being super skinny - I love food way too much. Instead, I just want to fit comfortably into a size 12 again, maybe even a size 10.

What about you? Do you have any weight loss goals?