Monday, January 17, 2011

Target Chronicles

Relationships are hard. John and I have been together as a couple for 13 years. We have been married for 6 years. Yet somehow, we still find ways to completely annoy each other.

John and I had a huge fight at Target on Sunday. You see, my husband is an asshole. Of course you're only getting my version of events, but trust me - he is an asshole. When I go shopping with the kids, I have rules. Rule # 1 is that the children must stay in the cart. This story starts out with a complete disregard for rule # 1, and therefore, the trip to Target was horrible. Thanks to my husband.

We walked in the door, grabbed one of those HUGE carts that can accommodate about 4 children, and then walked up the isle. Porgie's harness was broken, so John mindlessly told her she didn't have to ride in the cart. Before she hopped down, I told her that daddy was wrong and that she needed to stay in the cart. She told me, "NO!" (with lots of attitude) and got down. This blatant disregard for my opinion really pissed me off. When I tried to correct her behavior, John kept interrupting me, pointlessly explaining why Porgie could get out of the cart. By this point, it was no longer about breaking rule # 1 (although is does annoy me, because when John doesn't make them follow the rules, then our next trip to the store is HORRIBLE because no one wants to follow the rules!). I was now pissed about my daughter's attitude and my husband defense of her attitude.

After making asses out of ourselves (i.e. yelling at one another in the middle of the store), we angrily stormed off in different directions. I took Izzy, who was still strapped into the cart, and John took Porgie. We met up later in the shopping trip, and I am happy to report that Izzy was doing an excellent job. Porgie, on the other hand, was running around like a demented monkey. I felt justified for being a bitch about this whole issue. Kid in the cart = good. Kid running around = very, very bad.

Eventually, I had to put my daughter back in the cart to regain control of the situation, because my husband is a stubborn jerk who refuses to admit when he is wrong. The rest of the day was spent being angry with one another. Let me just say that Monday has never been so anticipated in all of my life.


kristi said...

OMG my hubby gets embarrassed if I argue with him in public and hell he gets embarrassed if I talk. Why did he marry a loud mouth?

MK said...

Ouch! Sorry... I haven't been able to make rules for our trips because we always go with Dh and... you can see where that's going lol.

Antropologa said...

Sounds like a fun trip!

Still jealous of your access to a Target.

We had a big fight tonight I'm sure our neighbor heard as we were out in the icy dark trying to push Husband's stupid goddamn POS broken car around to get it towed.

amanda said...

ugh the undoing of the rules. so not cool.

hubs went to target with us over break and i pouted after we left. target is my thing. with the girls. we have a system and it works. i told him i didn't think he was invited back.

misguided mommy said...

oh hell no kids BELONG IN THE CART. not out of the cart IN. kids out of the cart are just oooooo NOT OKAY. my kids touch shit and push and shove and omfg and then i have to yell and then i'm that mom who has bad kids and the mom who can't control her bad kids and the mom who yells at the bad kids and the mom crying at the check stand and NO NO NO HE FUCKED UP.