The day from HELL

We left the house at 2:00 pm. I lugged Porgie and Izzy down the front steps and loaded them into the car. I quickly got into the driver's seat and buckled my seatbelt. I glanced back at Porgie and realized that I had forgotten her cup of milk. So, I ran back into the house and retrieved her cup. As I got back in the van, I realized that I had forgotten the address for the GI doctor. It is at this point, that I should have called and canceled our appointment, but I didn't.

After running back in the house to get the address, we were on our way. We caught every red light, but I still managed to pull into the parking lot of the doctor's office at 2:25. I quickly got out and pulled the double stroller from the back. I plopped Porgie and Izzy into the stroller. As I approached the building, I seen a sign for the GI doctor's office pointing to the lower level. The only way to get to her office was to use the stairs. There is no way in hell I can safely get two kids and a doubler stroller down the stairs. I stood at the stairs, contemplating my next move.

Two men were painting the exterior of the office building. One of them offered to help carry the stroller down the stairs. I declined his offer, because how would I get the stroller and kids back up the stairs? So, I decided to put the stroller back in the van and just carry both kids down the stairs. After packing everything away and picking up both kids, this same man informs me that there is a parking lot on the lower level, which can be accessed through the Commerce Bank parking lot. Thanks a lot jerk. That information would have been really helpful 10 minutes ago.

With my arm throbbing, I carried both kids down two flights of stairs. We made it into the office, where Porgie proceeded to scream and hug my legs, while the receptionist gave me 4,782 forms to complete. At this point Izzy started screaming. So, I had Porgie whining at my knees and Izzy whining on my lap, while I am attempted to complete the paperwork. I have no idea what I wrote on those forms.

I handed the receptionist the forms, and she asked for my $40 co-pay. I pulled out my trusty bank card, when she informed me that they only accept cash or checks. WHAT THE FUCK? I thought everyone in the entire world accepted credit cards. Of course, I had no cash or checks on me. She informed me that I could go to the bank next door and get money from the ATM. This was a great plan, except I didn't have my stroller.

I put Izzy on my hip and grabbed Porgie's hand, and we headed across the parking lot to the bank. I got $40 from the ATM, and I grabbed Porgie's hand to leave. But she wanted to stay. So she screamed and cried, as I pulled her across the parking lot and back into the doctor's office.

After waiting for 15 more minutes, we were finally called back. The GI doctor walked in and instantly commented on Izzy's weight. She told me I needed to send him to "weight watchers," and I instantly disliked her. Why the fuck does everyone feel the need to tell me how fat he is?

After listening to his symptoms, she declared that he had allergic colitis. She went over the most common food culprits, but confessed that many breastfeeding mothers never discover which foods their babies are allergic to. She informed me that if he does not improve after eliminating dairy, soy, eggs, peanuts, and citrus, that I have two options - let him continue to suffer or switch to formula. Both of these options are unacceptable to me, but that is another post entirely.

She gave me instructions for taking a stool sample, and sent us on our way. I left the office, feeling sad and fearful and helpless.