Need sleep

This week has been kind of crazy. On a whim, I decided that I wasn't going to buy nighttime diapers anymore. Because I am a naive asshole, I was fairly confident that after a few days of pissing in their beds, my children would start to wake up dry. STOP LAUGHING AT ME INTERNET!

I know, I know, I am a moron. I have not gotten a full nights sleep all week. At least once (and sometimes twice) per night I am changing bed sheets and underwear and PJs. Ugh. What in the hell was I thinking?

So, I am tired. And this was the best post I could come up with. Sorry friends...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

If I only had a brain...

I am losing my freaking mind. Seriously, I think I am in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's disease.

Yesterday I shaved my legs. Or at least, I thought I shaved my legs. Upon getting dressed, I realized that one of my legs was nice and smooth. The other leg was obviously very hairy. I only shaved one of my legs. Who does that? People with no brain, that is who!

About 30 minutes later I went to the basement to do some laundry. Both the washer and dryer were full of clothes. I took the laundry out of the dryer, closed the door, and then turned the machine on. I opened the washing machine and was confused to see all of my wet clothes. What did I just put in the dryer? NOTHING. I was drying NOTHING. The dryer was empty.

I am crossing my fingers that I can still remember how to cook dinner and operate my vehicle. Wish me luck!

Yummy yummy yummy I got good stuff in my tummy

This week I made almond cherry muffins...

homemade apple pie...
And last, but certainly not least, rum pudding cake...

In case you are wondering, why yes I am trying to gain 150 pounds. I plan on being morbidly obese by December. I am hopelessly addicted to sugar.