Adjusting

Babies are great.  They are so cuddly and sweet.  For the longest time, Guppy was content to just be in my arms.  Nothing was better than hugging his mama.  But now, at 18 months, he is such an independent little guy.  I am happy that he is growing and changing and learning about the world.  Yet at the same time, it breaks my heart.

Guppy no longer freely gives hugs and kisses and affection.  I have to beg him for a kiss, and most days, he still refuses me.  He is too busy.  There are only so many hours in a day, and he has to destroy the entire house before bedtime.

Guppy has to feed himself now.  Up until about 2 weeks ago, I was still feeding him at every meal.  He just didn't seem to care about self-feeding.  When left to his own devices, he would throw all the food on the floor.  But then, suddenly, he decided that mama was no longer allowed to help him.  He has to do everything by himself.  He is throwing a lot less food, but geez, the mess is still ridiculous.

Guppy has developed quite the temper.  When he gets angry, he flops himself on the floor and SCREAMS.  It is kind of funny, because he'll go from happy to inconsolable in about 2 seconds.  It is also very frustrating, because he has been spending a large portion of his time throwing temper tantrums.

I know that this is all normal growing-up stuff, but I cannot tell you how sad it makes me.  I know that the cuddly and snugly phase has ended.  Never again will I get endless hugs and kisses.  He won't cry for mommy to feed him anymore.  And being in my arms won't solve all his problems.  Guppy's babyhood has gone by so quickly.  As I look at pictures of my BIG toddler, I can't help but feel a melancholy tonight.