Angry at everyone

This week has been a tough one. I was expecting to get my minivan back, and I still haven't heard anything from the auto body shop. John and I got in a HUGE fight on Monday afternoon (I am still angry at him). My insurance company dropped our hospital AGAIN. This means that if we do happen to need to go to the hospital, we will have to drive 30 minutes away. This is completely unacceptable to me, because we have at least 4 other hospitals that are much closer to our house. I live in a very congested area, and I shouldn't have to practically drive to Philadelphia to go to the ER. And to top it all off, my kids have been getting on my last fucking nerve for DAYS.

I am just feeling very angry right now. That is really the best word to describe how I feel. I am mad at the whole freaking world. I know that I am PMSing and that the world isn't really such a horrible place, but that doesn't make me feel any better right at this moment.

Frugal holidays

As you know, for the past year John and I have been working hard to pay off debt and save more money. Christmas time is no exception. John comes from a large family. He is the last of 6 children. All of his brothers and sisters are married and all of them have children. The list of people to buy for is insanely long. I think the thing that bothers me most is that John isn't very close to any of his siblings. We spend all this money on people he doesn't even talk to. It is frustrating.

The last time we went back to Kentucky for Christmas, we gave everyone a gift card. Talk about EXPENSIVE! This year I decided that we were going to have a frugal Christmas. All of his brothers and sisters will be receiving crocheted top hand towels (crocheted by me, of course). Some of John's nieces have already started families, so those nieces will also be receiving hand towels. All of the kids/teenagers will get a regular present (ordered from Amazon with my Swagbucks money).

My side of the family is a little trickier. I am much closer with my family than John is to his, so in general I tend to put a lot more effort into my gifts. I know that this is unfair, so this year I am sticking to the towel hand gift for all of my aunts and uncles too. However, I do plan on buying something nice for my mother, grandmother, and my favoritest cousin (who is more like a sister). I am hoping that I'll have enough Swagbucks money left over to buy their gifts too.

So that is my attempt at a frugal Christmas this year. My kids aren't getting anything from me, which sounds mean, but really they won't even notice. John and I have already agreed to forgo buying each other gifts this year. The trip to KY definitely still has the potential to be expensive (putting the dog in the boarding kennel, buying gas for our LOOOOONG road trip, the inevitable dinning out, etc), but I feel like I am minimizing the costs as much as possible.

Bitching

I had another orthodontist appointment this week. And this was the appointment that convinced me that I am wasting my money. It takes my teeth FOREVER to move (just ask my orthodontist), and then they move right back to their old position.

This week the dentist took off the powerchain on my upper teeth. I was instantly nervous about this decision. I left the office convinced that my gaps were going to open back up. And unfortunately, I was right. The NEXT MORNING I woke up to find a small gap between two of my teeth. FUCK!

I have been fretting endlessly about my upper teeth. I stare in the mirror watching these tiny gaps reappear. It is frustrating and heartbreaking. I go back to the ortho in mid-December, and I plan on requesting another powerchain (which is funny since I have cursed my powerchain for being so damn painful).

So things aren't good in the teeth department.

Food tastes good

This is the best recipe for potato soup. Seriously, it is super yummy. You can thank me later.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving my lovely readers.

Buddy

I remember when I left my teaching position to be a stay-at-home-mommy. I thought, I am going to get to spend so much time with my babies! Back then, the 5 years before kindergarten seemed like a really long period. Now I look at my BIG kids and think, where has all the time gone? These precious years are flying by so fast.

My baby boy is officially 3 years old today. There are no words to describe how I feel. It is a combination of pride and excitement mixed with sadness and longing. It is wanting to cling to my baby, yet wanting him to grow up.

I just can't believe my baby isn't really a baby anymore.

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3rd birthday party

We had Izzy 3rd birthday party on Saturday. Just a small get together with our closest friends. The kids had a blast. Izzy got the coolest toy EVER - a remote control digger. You have no idea how much Izzy loves that toy. I only wish I had thought to buy it for him.

The birthday cake...

This was my attempt at a yellow digger cake. My yellow icing was a little runny. That seems to be the story of my life lately. Why can't I make good icing? Anyways, I think it turned out pretty cute. Izzy loves it, so that is all that really matters.

Thanks friends!

Thanks for complimenting my ass. It means a lot to me - SERIOUSLY! I know that a lot of women are obsessed with having bigger boobs or a flatter stomach or losing those last 10 pounds. But really, I don't obsess about these things too much. However, I do worry a lot about my flat ass (which I cannot do a damn thing about). Wearing jeans that fit my ass makes all the difference in the world to me. So, thanks for your kind words.

We have a busy weekend/week planned. I am baking Izzy birthday cake today (wish me luck!), Izzy's party is Saturday, we have to go to the grocery store and run errands on Sunday, we are taking our Christmas pictures on Monday (because the world hates me, I currently have a zit on my freaking nose!), I have an Ortho appointment on Tuesday (and it's Izzy actual birthday), Wednesday will be a food prep day for Thanksgiving (I am making a pie, crescent rolls, and mashed potatoes - John is handling everything else), and Thursday is Thanksgiving.

Lucky for me, John is taking the entire week off work. I am really looking forward to hanging out with my husband. It feels like life has been so hectic lately. I think all of us (John, me and even the kids), need to just relax and mellow out. Although we have a lot of stuff to do, I am hoping that we can find some time to just enjoy each others company.

I need to go finish cleaning the house and doing the laundry, so I really must stop wasting time on the internet. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Showing off my ass

After countless hours of trying on pants, I finally found some cute jeans. I tried on many, many, many pants. The only ones that made my ass look good were from the Junior's section. That is right, apparently I am shaped like a 13 year old girl. But whatever, I look good in my new jeans...
P.S. It is surprisingly hard to take a picture of your ass.

Randomness

I dropped my minivan off at the auto body shop Monday. The whole process was surprisingly painless. I am now driving a brand spanking new Dodge Grand Caravan (rental). It is pretty and shiny and lovely. I have never driven a new car before, so I didn't know what I was missing. I am sooooo in love with my rental van. I told John that I would like a new car for Christmas (HA HA). They can keep my old minivan for a long as they would like, and I'll keep the rental.

I am currently on a mission to buy some pants that fit me. I tried on about 28 pairs of pants at Target (I am on a budget!), but none of them fit right. I have a serious flat ass issue, which is really hindering my search for cute jeans. The ass of my pants always looks baggy. UGH! I am going to go to Kohl's today and see what they have in stock.

I got my hair cut. It is okay. It looked really cute when I left the salon, but I can never make my hair look as good as they do. When they blow dry my hair, it is smooth and sleek and straight. When I blow dry my hair it is frizzy and puffy. What gives? Stupid dumb hair.

Busy busy

Last week I sat around the house feeling sorry for my pathetic self. This week is going to be action packed, whether I like it or not. We had the carpets professionally cleaned on Saturday, I thoroughly cleaned out my minivan on Sunday, I am taking my car into the body shop today (fingers crossed that the rental place will have a minivan), we have our last class at the local nature center, I have to buy at least one pair of pants that actually fit me (oh, the horror of losing weight!), I need to get my haircut, the entire house needs to be cleaned (especially the kitchen) before Izzy's birthday, I need to go shopping for various party supplies, and I need to bake Izzy's cake. I am sure there are at least fifty other things I need to do that I forgot to mention.

I have so much stuff to do that I feel guilty even taking the time to write this! I am off to complete something from my list!

Money Talk

November and December are going to be very expensive months for us. We have Izzy's birthday coming up, we need to have our carpets cleaned, Porgie's dance recital costume payment is due, everyone needs a haircut, we need to have the dog vaccinated, my car battery needs to be replaced (don't even get me started on the collision stuff), we still have Christmas presents to buy, and finally, we need to have professional family photos taken. I know that we don't technically NEED to do even half of the stuff on my list, but these are things I WANT to do before the holidays. Christmas has a way of sucking my bank account dry every damn year.

The good news is that I do not plan on buying my children or husband any presents. They are going to get so much stuff from my family (my mother always gives too much), that anymore would just be overkill. Also, I still have a little over $200 in my Amazon account from Swagbucks! So, that is definitely going to help too.

I haven't talked about Swagbucks for a while, but I am still enjoying the program. Basically, you get points for using their search engine. You can cash in your points for prizes (I always buy $5 Amazon gift cards). I have to admit, when Swagbucks changed over to their new point system, I was disappointed. It suddenly seemed a lot harder to earn as many prizes. But they have added lots of new features (like swagbucksTV, daily polls, surveys, and videos), so it probably all evens out. But it feels like a lot more work, so I have definitely lost some of my enthusiasm. However, free money is hard to refuse, so I have continued to use the program. I average about 2 $5 gift cards per month, which equals $120 per year. Not too bad.

I am not exactly sure how much money I have earned through Swagbucks, but I have bought quite a few things on Amazon during the past year and I haven't paid a penny for any of them. Additionally, I still have $200 in my account, so I can't complain. It is definitely worth the small amount of effort I put into earning my points.

I got really big into survey sites for a while too, but it just seemed like I never qualified for any freaking surveys, so I kind of gave that up. A few people sent me links to other search and earn sites, but I just can't convince myself to sign up. Maybe I'll feel up to it this winter when I am trapped inside my house for months and months.

I don't really know where I am going with this post. I guess I just wanted you to know that Christmas is expensive, but the internet makes it easy to earn free gift cards. The end.

Gloomy

I have been feeling very BLAH lately. I am not really sure what my problem is. Everything just seems so overwhelming right now. Honestly, most days I don't even feel like leaving the house. I think it is a combination of lots of things. First is the car accident. I am still making myself sick with worry about every little decision I have to make. Second is Izzy's birthday. I have lots of stuff to do and no motivation to do anything. Third is Christmas. I am both looking forward to and dreading our trip to Kentucky all at the same time. It is stressful (and expensive) to travel.

Damn, I am annoying. After reading that last paragraph, I realized that I have no real reason to complain. Yet, here I sit sulking and feeling sad. Sorry internet friends. I have nothing to offer today.

I have an idea! Let's look at a picture of my adorable offspring. That always cheers me up!I feel better already.

Yummy stuff

This week I tried a new muffin recipe. These little beauties are ginger-raisin-bran muffins...

I also made some lemon cupcakes. The icing turned out a little too runny, but they still tasted delicious...

I am gearing up to make Izzy's "test" birthday cake. This project should push my baking skills too the limit. I am predicting that the cake will be a flop. Get ready for some laughs:)

Nothing is ever easy

Do you know what is really REALLY REALLY hard for a naturally chubby girl? Maintaining a weight loss.

I hit my goal weight! Of course, I am not like super skinny or anything. However, I am at a healthy, normal weight for my height (when I left the overweight category, I did cartwheels across my living room). And I am happy with where I am at. Honestly, I can't imagine being much thinner - that would just be entirely too difficult (have I mentioned how much I like dessert?).

Anyways, when I stepped on the scale this morning, the magical number I have had my eye on finally popped up. This should have been a fabulous moment, but it really wasn't. I just don't know where to go from here. Do I set a new thinner goal (probably not). How do I maintain my current weight (especially with the holidays fast approaching)?

This has been a lifelong problem for me. I can lose weight, but I never seem to be able to maintain it. I always end up falling back into my old habits. When I am dieting, I am hungry. When I eat until I am full, I am overweight. So how in the heck I am I supposed to maintain my current weight and be happy? Because friends, food = happiness in my neck of the woods.

Fuck off please

I feel like the entire world is trying to pick a fucking fight with me. According to the guy who hit my van, I was speeding. Really? How in the fuck do you know that? The day of the accident he specifically told me that he didn't see me. Thanks for changing your story asshat.

According to my husband, I didn't put enough detail in my version of events on the police report. Really? Because I thought it was pretty straight forward case. I was going straight, the other guy was turning. I HAD THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY. Thanks for not being a source of support John.

According to Frank at the auto body shop, due to comparable negligence laws in New Jersey, I will be responsible for at least part of the damages to my car. Also, Frank let me know that I have insurance with the worst company on the market. Thanks Frank! You really know how to make a girl feel better.

I just want to scream "FUCK YOU" to every person who feels the need to lie, criticize or tell me more bad news. Unless you have rainbows and sunshine shooting out of your ass, please don't speak to me.

The source of my headache...

Well, the kids and I were in a car accident on Tuesday afternoon. I was driving straight down a road, and an SUV making a left hand turn wrecked into the side of my minivan. The police were called. Reports were made. My car is pretty fucked. The driver's side door is completely ruined. There is no longer a handle on the door, but that doesn't really matter because the door won't open anyways. Ugh. There are scraps and dents all the way down the driver's side of the car. No-one was hurt (THANK GOD). So instead of sulking, I should be thanking my lucky stars.

Honestly, I have been sick with worry since it happened. I just hope everything goes smoothly and quickly with his insurance company (but I have a feeling it won't). I want all of the shit done and over with.

Finally something good happened!

I have just had a really horrible day. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. After having such an awful afternoon, I finally received some good news. I was asked to review a product from CSN, which I am actually pretty excited about. I was looking on their website and noticed that they have a cast iron bread pan. You guys know how much I love baking! I am SUPER excited about finally getting to try a nice, quality bread pan. So, be expecting a riveting post about Amish white bread and a cast iron pan (recipe included of course!). In case you are unfamilar with them, CSN is an online store where you can find lots of cool stuff - like children's luggage, cast iron cookware, or even beautiful wall art. I am excited about this opportunity, I can't wait to share my experience with you guys.

More on my harrowing day tomorrow...

Polygamy

I am completely fascinated with polygamy. For some reason, I just can't get enough of these people. Big Love is one my favorite shows. Any time I see a documentary on polygamy, I have to watch it. And just recently, I started watching the TLC show Sister Wives. So interesting!

Honestly, I think polygamy is an interesting idea. I love how these people have HUGE families (that is another subset of people I am fascinated with. If you have more than 6 kids, I will automatically want to know more about you.) I also love how these women can push their jealousies aside for the greater good of their families/their religious beliefs. I love how they work together and help raise each others kids.

I tend to be a jealous person, so for me personally, I could never be in that type of relationship. NEVER. I would be miserable. But I do think it is wrong to outlaw polygamy. What is so horrible about having multiple wives? If they are all willing, consenting adults, then it isn't really anyone's concern. I thought America was all about religious freedom?

All of this to say that Big Love is gearing up for its final season. I am bummed. I really liked that show. I also learned that the husband from Sister Wives is facing possible jail time for polygamy. Gah.

The Halloween Post: 2010