Nothing is ever easy

Do you know what is really REALLY REALLY hard for a naturally chubby girl? Maintaining a weight loss.

I hit my goal weight! Of course, I am not like super skinny or anything. However, I am at a healthy, normal weight for my height (when I left the overweight category, I did cartwheels across my living room). And I am happy with where I am at. Honestly, I can't imagine being much thinner - that would just be entirely too difficult (have I mentioned how much I like dessert?).

Anyways, when I stepped on the scale this morning, the magical number I have had my eye on finally popped up. This should have been a fabulous moment, but it really wasn't. I just don't know where to go from here. Do I set a new thinner goal (probably not). How do I maintain my current weight (especially with the holidays fast approaching)?

This has been a lifelong problem for me. I can lose weight, but I never seem to be able to maintain it. I always end up falling back into my old habits. When I am dieting, I am hungry. When I eat until I am full, I am overweight. So how in the heck I am I supposed to maintain my current weight and be happy? Because friends, food = happiness in my neck of the woods.

Fuck off please

I feel like the entire world is trying to pick a fucking fight with me. According to the guy who hit my van, I was speeding. Really? How in the fuck do you know that? The day of the accident he specifically told me that he didn't see me. Thanks for changing your story asshat.

According to my husband, I didn't put enough detail in my version of events on the police report. Really? Because I thought it was pretty straight forward case. I was going straight, the other guy was turning. I HAD THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY. Thanks for not being a source of support John.

According to Frank at the auto body shop, due to comparable negligence laws in New Jersey, I will be responsible for at least part of the damages to my car. Also, Frank let me know that I have insurance with the worst company on the market. Thanks Frank! You really know how to make a girl feel better.

I just want to scream "FUCK YOU" to every person who feels the need to lie, criticize or tell me more bad news. Unless you have rainbows and sunshine shooting out of your ass, please don't speak to me.

The source of my headache...

Well, the kids and I were in a car accident on Tuesday afternoon. I was driving straight down a road, and an SUV making a left hand turn wrecked into the side of my minivan. The police were called. Reports were made. My car is pretty fucked. The driver's side door is completely ruined. There is no longer a handle on the door, but that doesn't really matter because the door won't open anyways. Ugh. There are scraps and dents all the way down the driver's side of the car. No-one was hurt (THANK GOD). So instead of sulking, I should be thanking my lucky stars.

Honestly, I have been sick with worry since it happened. I just hope everything goes smoothly and quickly with his insurance company (but I have a feeling it won't). I want all of the shit done and over with.