Important dates

Our pediatrician's office is located inside of a large professional building. While walking down the hall toward the office on Tuesday morning, I noticed a large sign posted on a window. It said, "The AAP recommends that all children be seen by a dentist at one year of age." Hmmmm...Porgie is two and I haven't even considered taking her to the dentist yet.

Since I was running a few minutes early, I decided to stop in and schedule an appointment. I walked into a waiting room stuffed full of toys. Children were running around, happily playing and laughing. I felt at ease. Porgie felt at ease. She instantly asked to get down and play. I walked up to the front counter to make an appointment. The receptionist was very friendly. I told her that I would like an afternoon appointment for next week. She happily obliged, and offered a 3:30 appointment on October 15th. That date sounded very familiar. I was certain that I had something important to do on that day. But for the life of me, I couldn't remember what I had to do on that day, so I went ahead and scheduled the appointment for the 15th.

Later that night, I was blogging. Suddenly I realized why the 15th was so important. Amalah is scheduled for her repeat c-section on that day! Apparently, I am now keeping a running tab on all important dates in my bloggy friends' lives. So, if you have a wedding anniversary, birthday, or due date looming, I won't be scheduling any appointment on that day:)

Blah

So, I have been feeling a little melancholy lately. I guess it is just the baby blues and sleep deprivation. I am at the point where it feels like my life will never be good again. Too much work. Too much stress. But I know that things will change. My babies will get older and things will get easier. And I'll sleep again someday, right?

I am thinking about chronicling a night with Izzy on my blog. He is the most wakeful baby. I think you'll be shocked by his eating habits at night. I know I am. He feeds so much at night, that I was starting to doubt my milk supply. So, I decided to pump yesterday. I got 3 ounces! I was super excited, because when I started pumping with Porgie I got less than an ounce. But apparently 3 ounces isn't enough for Izzy, because my little baby nursed ALL NIGHT again.

This might be a bad plan, but I was thinking about pumping, and feeding him a bottle before bedtime tonight. If I could feed him a big 6 ounces bottle, maybe I could get more than 30 minutes of continuous sleep. What do you think? Is it too early to introduce the bottle? He will be three weeks old on Friday. I probably shouldn't do it, but the prospect of sleep is so appealing.

And these photos are for Shannon...

Boys are different

I am used to little girls. Everything I know about babies, I learned from Porgie. Although she was an excellent teacher, she completely failed to prepare me for having a little boy.

Things Izzy has already taught me...

1. Little boys pee all over the freaking place. Every damn time I try to change his diaper, he pees. And it goes everywhere - on the changing table, on the curtains, on his clothes,and even on mommy. He also pees out of his diaper ALL THE TIME. Every time I pick my baby up, he is drenched in piss. This is very frustrating because I change his diaper approximately 56 times per day.

2. Little boys love nursing. Izzy always wants to eat. No matter how long he just fed, he will always accept more boob. In fact, I can't hold him without having him frantically mouth on his hands.

3. Little boys are very hard to change. Poopy diapers just got a whole lot more complicated. Not only do I have to clean is butt, but now I also have to clean all around his little "equipment." This carries the added bonus of being pissed on AGAIN.

4. Little boys are much calmer then little girls. Izzy will sit in the swing - without crying! Izzy will sit in his bouncy seat - without crying! However, Izzy has drawn the line with the bassinet. He SCREAMS whenever I lay him down in that damn bassinet. We are already co-sleeping. FYI - bassinets are for suckers. Don't waste your money.

__________

John is going back to work on Monday, and I am terrified. Holy crap, I am going to have to take care of two babies. And I have to be able to do all of this on approximately 3 hours on sleep each night. Dear God, I need a nanny.

I don't want to complain but...

Sorry for the delay in getting back to blogging, but things have been a little crazy over here. Because I literally do not have the energy to write a long summary of the past two weeks, I am going to create a list instead.

1. Friday, November 23 - I had my scheduled c-section at 7:30 am. Izzy was born at 7:48 am. The doctors were shocked by his enormous size. Otherwise, he was the picture of health. After the surgery, I was wheeled to recovery, and Izzy was wheeled to the nursery. An hour later, I was in my room, ready to hold my baby. When the nurse brought him in, she explained that they had already fed him formula. I was pretty pissed. But my baby was BEAUTIFUL. Perfect in every little way.

2. Saturday, November 24 - Izzy quickly caught on to the whole nursing thing, and he nursed ALL NIGHT LONG. I am not exaggerating. He nursed continuously from 10 pm to 5 am. I was exhausted.

3. Sunday, November 25 - My milk came in, and Izzy finally settled down for some sleep.

4. Monday, November 26 - I got to come home from the hospital. The nurses on staff were incompetent and made the process very difficult.

5. Tuesday, November 27 - My mother went back to Kentucky. Surprisingly, she did a good job of caring for Porgie, but I was happy to see her go. I wanted to spend some time alone with my little family.

6. Wednesday, November 28 - I was fairly constipated during my entire pregnancy. After my surgery, I was even more constipated. On this day, the pressure to use the bathroom became overwhelming. I was in so much pain. I had John running to the store for laxatives and prune juice. It was a long and painful process, but I finally managed to use the restroom. THANK GOD.

7. Thursday, November 29 - I had my staples removed. YIKES! I didn't remember it being so painful.

8. Friday, November 30 - We took Izzy for his one week check-up. He had regained his birth weight, plus two more ounces. I was ecstatic. I still can't believe that breastfeeding has been so easy this time around.

9. Saturday, December 1 - I developed a sore throat and a cough. Yes, I am sick. Have you ever tried coughing after having abdominal surgery? NO FUN.

10. Sunday, December 2 - Izzy has his days and nights mixed up. The sleep deprivation begins to catch up with me, and so do the baby blues. I find myself crying for no particular reason. Well, actually there were lots of reasons, but I am not in the mood to discuss them.

11. Monday, December 3 - Finally, an uneventful day. Things have been fairly calm and peaceful since the beginning of the week.

I know that this post sounds like one big complaint, but really it is not. John has been a wonderful source of support and help. Porgie has been giving Izzy hugs and kisses all day. She really loves her little brother. And the baby has been fairly easygoing (except at night).

Overall, it has been a crazy, but joyful two weeks. I am happy with my little family and couldn't ask for anything more.

Enough about me, here are some pictures of my beautiful babies...

Izzy Update

I can't believe it, but I have two children. I am sorry for the silence, but I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. I just wanted to do a quick update to let everyone know that we are doing well - especially little Izzy. He has already regained his birth weight plus two more ounces! He is such a little chunker.

I will do a real post in a few days, with PICTURES!

Goodbye

This will be my last post until after Izzy is born. Although I am super excited, I am also a little blue. I am feeling melancholy for several reasons...

1. Izzy will no longer be all mine. I feel him kick and squirm, and only I can delight in these little joys. He is my sweet little baby - all mine. But after Friday, he will be our baby. Yes, I am selfish. I like having him all to myself.

2. I know that this will be my last pregnancy for at least 4 or 5 years. Although I am not eager to get pregnant anytime soon, I am going to miss the sensation of a baby moving in my womb.

3. My life is about to change drastically. I am a creature of habit, and change is always hard for me.

But I am happy too, for several reasons...

1. I get to meet my baby - my beautiful little boy.

2. I won't have to pee 782 times per day. YAY!!!

3. Porgie and I can start playing together again. At this point, we are just coexisting in the same house. I want to run and jump and laugh with her, without experiencing excruciating hip and back pain.

I know that I frequently whine and complain, but I really am an incredibly lucky person. I have so much to be thankful for.

My wonderful friend Eva will be updating my blog with information regarding Izzy's birth on Friday. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I will miss you!

Love,
Christy

Smelling the roses

I have a tendency to rush through things. I rarely take the time to enjoy what I have. Instead, I am always looking forward to the next big thing. This is especially true when it comes to Porgie's development. When she learned to roll over, I wanted her to sit up. When she began sitting up, I wanted her to crawl. When she started crawling, I wanted her to walk. Why can't I just appreciate what I have?

As Izzy's birth looms closer and closer, I have been trying to savor the moments with Porgie. We have been going for walks around the block, examining the leaves and playing in the grass. We have been watching videos and cuddling on the couch. We have been giving lots of kisses and hugs to one another.

As I look at my little girl, I can't help but feel a little sad. She isn't going to be the baby anymore. I want to go back in time, and savor every moment we spent together - just me and her.

2 under 2

I am always amazed by how many people are having their children very close in age. I have met two other women at story time who have children 17 months apart (Porgie and Izzy will be 17 months apart too). Both of these women have made it abundantly clear that having 2 children under the age of 2 is HARD. Each week, I watch them tirelessly chase after their toddlers, while simultaneously trying to hush a screaming baby. Honestly, I feel sorry of them.

But I am destined for the same fate as these poor women. I am going to be that crazy woman, lugging around two screaming babies. I am going to be that stressed out woman, with disheveled hair and dirty clothes. I am going to be that pitiful woman, who everyone feels sorry for. Yup, that is going to be me.

Many of my fellow bloggers also have children close in age, like Cagey and Dooney. These woman are much more graceful than me. They rarely complain, and are always optimistic. Although I want to be like these women, I am afraid that my whiny attitude will prevail. I am fairly confident that this blog is going to turn into a place where I come to bitch and moan about how hard my life is. And all of you will roll your eyes and become bored with my incessant whining.

I just wanted to give you a heads up - get ready for the complaints. Of course, I'll try to balance the negativity with adorable baby photos.

co-sleeping

When I was pregnant with Porgie, I bought a cute bassinet. John assembled it, and I lovingly placed the little white slip cover over the frame. I put the bassinet next to my bed, and patiently waited for my little baby to sleep in it.

Then I actually gave birth, and reality began to sink in. After a few short weeks, I realized that Porgie didn't like sleeping in the bassinet. She wanted human contact. She wanted to be cuddled. She wanted to be right next to her mommy. Without much thought, I just started letting her sleep in our bed.

When I told other people about our sleeping arrangement, I began to realize how narrow-minded other people can be. People would make comments about me rolling on top of her, which would NEVER happen. I was always aware of her, even when I was sleeping. People would make comments about the risk of suffocation, which was very unlikely. I banned all comforters from the bed - we only used sheets. Additionally, I placed Porgie at level with my stomach, so pillows weren't really an issue either. People would also make comments about how I would never be able to get her out of our bed. This comment was the most ridiculous, because Porgie has been sleeping in her crib for about 9 months now.

I quickly learned to ignore other people's comments. I was doing what worked for me and my baby. Frankly, it was none of their damn business. With Izzy, I plan on trying the bassinet again, but I am not opposed to co-sleeping. I already know that Izzy will end up in our bed, at least some of the time. The bedrail is in the corner of our bedroom, ready to be installed.

The Saturday from hell

Saturday started out like any other day, but quickly turned sour. Around 10:00 am we went to Circuit City to purchase a new laptop (By the way, I am in LOVE with my new computer). On the way to the store, I began feeling lots of pressure in my vagina. Honestly, it felt like Izzy was trying to push his way out. When I got out of the car, the sensation got worst. Additionally, I was having horrible back pain. I told John that I didn't feel well, and encouraged him to hurry. Although we were only in the store for about 20 minutes, I felt like I was going to pass out. The pain was terrible.

When we got home I tried to rest, but my back hurt too badly. It hurt to lay down, it hurt to sit up, and it hurt to stand. Although I typically have to pee approximately 52 times per day, the extreme pressure in my vagina made me feel like I had to pee ALL the time.

As the day progressed, the pain persisted. It didn't really get worse, but it was constant. Around noon, I also developed a pretty bad case of diarrhea. I started worrying that I was going into premature labor. On several occasions, I considered going to the hospital. The thing that stopped me was the fact that I wasn't having contractions and that Izzy was being very active.

By 7:00 pm, I was laying on the couch in agony. I realized that I would not be able to sleep with all the pain I was experiencing. Obviously this wasn't normal - I needed to go to the hospital. I started trying to think of someone who could watch Porgie.

But as quickly as the pain started, it stopped. Out of nowhere, the back pain and vaginal pressure were gone. By 8:00 pm, I felt like my normal self again. The rest of the night was fairy uneventful. When I woke up on Sunday morning, I felt really good - better than I have felt in weeks.

I have no idea what happened, but I have a theory. I think Izzy moved into some weird position, that did not agree with my body. All I really know is that the thought of premature labor is scary shit, and I am glad my little guy decided not to make an early entrance.

I did it!

I can't believe it, but we actually purchased nursery furniture for Izzy. We ended up going to about 4 different stores before we finally found some nice and reasonably priced furniture. However, it was definitely worth the time and effort. We managed to purchase a crib, changing table, and chest for less than the price of some cribs we seen.

The price of baby furniture is really disturbing. I think companies and stores are capitalizing on the excitement of having a new baby. They are jacking up prices, in the hopes that new parents will shell out a ton of money for that new little baby.

Anyways, we ended up buying the furniture at Baby Depot. Although the sales people were incompetent and the selection was small, we got a great deal.

Here is a link to the furniture we purchased. Its hard to tell from the picture, but the color is a walnut cherry. I know I said I wanted white furniture, but I changed my mind at the last minute. I LOVE the new furniture.

34 weeks and 5 days

Here is a picture of my big belly at 34 weeks. I am getting to the point where I am always uncomfortable. My back hurts, my hips hurt, my head hurts, etc. But an end is in sight my dear friends. Izzy will be born in 4 weeks.

Pondering death

When I went into labor with Porgie, I assumed that I would have a vaginal delivery. I never read any information on c-sections. I never asked my doctor questions about the possibility of a c-section. John and I never discussed having a c-section.

But after hours and hours of labor, with no dilation, I was being prepped for a c-section. It was a whirlwind of emotion and confusion. When the doctor came into my room to have me sign the consent forms, I was in tears. I was so overwhelmed, I just signed the damn papers without a second thought.

Obviously, things are very different this time around. At my last doctor's appointment, I was asked to sign the consent forms to perform my scheduled c-section in November. The doctor explained all the risks - including death. Although I hesitantly signed the papers almost two weeks ago, I haven't stopped thinking about the word DEATH.

I could die. I know that I sound irrational and crazy, but this scares the shit out of me. Its not so much the idea of dying, but the idea that Porgie could grow up without her mommy. That little girl is the center of my world, and I am the center of her world. We would be lost without each other. My baby needs me.

I tried talking to John about my fears, but he got angry when I mentioned it. I think he's in denial about the risk of death. To him, its like I am having a tooth removed - no big deal.

You are probably thinking that I am INSANE, which I am. I know that the risk of dieing is very small. But there is still a risk, and that is very overwhelming and frightening.

Birthday boy

I have scheduled my c-section. I have already received my instructions in the mail. I know which doctors will be working at the hospital that morning. I know who will be watching my precious baby girl. I am ready for the big day - the day my little boy will be born.

November 23, 2007

Giving credit where credit is due

I often feel like I harp and harp about my horrible relationship with my mother. But things aren't all bad. Since having Porgie, my mother has made more attempts to stay in contact with me. And she often sends gifts and cards for Porgie.

Although I was reluctant to ask her to come to New Jersey to watch Porgie in November, I have been pleasantly surprised by her response. Initially she agreed to fly to the east coast if we paid for her plane ticket. After researching prices, I called her back and asked her to pay half of the bill. She agreed, but I was positive that she wouldn't save the money.

After asking her to pay half the bill, my mother and I did not speak for about two months. Because of the prolonged silence, I was certain that she had decided not to come to New Jersey. When I scheduled my c-section two weeks ago, I decided to call her to plan specific dates for her arrival and departure.

To my surprise, my mother sounded excited and eager to come to New Jersey. She even volunteered to send her $200 for the plane ticket (which I received a few days ago!). I am so happy that things are working out so smoothly between us - no surprises and no anger.

And honestly, I am excited about seeing her, and I think Porgie will adore her.

Lab Results

I had a doctor's appointment last week, and I also had to have blood drawn again. In case you were wondering, I have had my blood drawn approximately 763 times in the past 6 months. They also analyzed my 24 hour urine collection.

I received a call on Friday regarding the results. Apparently, everything is great. My blood pressure is within the high end of the normal range, I had no protein in my urine, my white blood cell count is normal, and my liver enzymes are no longer elevated. I am just a healthy pregnant lady! YAY!

.

I was kind of baffled by the liver results. Although it was never confirmed, I just assumed that I had a fatty liver. However, Dr. S thought I had some sort of infection due to my high white blood cell count. Perhaps she was right, since my liver and white blood cell count are back to normal.

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Honestly, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. It just seemed like I was having too many problems, too early in the pregnancy. Now that all of the medical drama has passed, I can fully focus my attention on getting big and fat. Oreo cakesters here I come!

Clumsy asshole

At night, John and I usually put all of our cats outside. Our cats are like roosters. At 5:30 am, when the sun starts shining in the morning sky, the cats will start meowing. Without fail, they always wake Porgie up. This is just completely unacceptable. So, the cats go outside before we go to bed, and they come in after Porgie gets up in the morning.

John usually catches all of the cats. But as I mentioned yesterday, John has thrown is back out. So, being the sweet wife that I am, I decided to catch the cats last night. Pudgey gets to stay inside due to her recent asthma attack, so I had to catch the three other cats. I caught the first two with ease. The third cat ran down the basement stairs. I went to follow him down the stairs, but I didn't make it very far. After walking down about two steps, I slipped and fell down about 6 more steps before I finally managed to stop myself from tumbling down the entire flight of stairs.

All of this happened about twenty minutes before bedtime. Of course, I was racked with fear. And of course, John promptly went to bed, with nary a worry. I tried to go to sleep, but I couldn't. I got up and posted about the incident. Then I googled "falling down stairs while pregnant" and got myself worked up into a frenzy.

Around midnight, I finally fell asleep.

When I woke up this morning, I did feel a few faint movements. Throughout the day, I have felt more distinctive and strong movements. But because I am insane, I have been analyzing each movement and worrying that little Izzy has been less active than usual. I know that I am being neurotic. If my doctor's office was open on Sundays, I would definitely go in to be checked out. Because I have felt Izzy move, I feel like going to the hospital is ridiculous.

Sorry it took me so long to update. Between my broken husband, my fussy little girl, and my insane fears, I didn't have much time to post today.

clumsy

I just fell down the fucking basement stairs. Of course, I am a nervous wreck. I wish the baby would start moving, and put my restless mind at ease.

I am a total nut case

I am not a weepy person. I don't cry very often. However, I have somehow transformed into a complete emotional basketcase. For some strange reason, I now cry at the drop of a hat. I am kind of disturbed by my newfound emotional state.

Since becoming pregnant, I have probably cried at least 639 times. I cried after getting a HUGE doctor bill. I cried after arguing with the insurance company (on multiple occassions). I cried when I could not schedule an appointment with a doctor at my new ob/gyn office. Basically, I have cried over something trivial at least once a week for the past 5 months.

However, this weekend's emotional outbrust really takes the cake. It all started Saturday afternoon. I have been having some near-fainting episodes (with dizziness and loss of vision), so John has been trying to help out more around the house. Saturday morning, he agreed to do the laundry, which was wonderful.

Before continuing this story, I have to mention that my pregnancy warobe is very small. I was pregnant with Porgie during the winter and spring, so the majority of my maternity clothes are jeans and long-sleeve shirts. Of course, I can't wear winter clothing during the summer. Trying to be fisically responsible, I have only purchased two pair of maternity capris, and about 4 maternity shirts. I know, I know - I need more clothing. I find myself washing my capris multiple times per week. Its ridiculous.

So, Saturday morning I folded up my outfit for the day and sat it on the bed. However, I have a little girl who likes to toss everything on the floor. When I wasn't looking, Porgie threw my clothes on the floor. John then came behind her and put them in the dirty clothes hamper. A few hours later, I went to get dressed. I couldn't find my ONLY clean maternity outfit. When I asked John where they were, he informed me that they were in the washing machine.

I know this sound completely insane, but I totally lost my shit. I started crying. I was crying hysterically because I didn't have any clothes to wear to the grocery store. Yes, I am a nut case.

After the episode was over, I felt like a total jackass. What the hell is wrong with me?

Dr. NiceGuy

I had my first appointment with my new obstetrician last Wednesday. I have to say, he was the nicest man I have ever met. Seriously, I think he was the nicest human being I have ever met.

Unfortunately, my blood pressure was high once again (as expected). So, I have to perform a 24 hour urine collection. For those of you who have never had PIH or Preeclampsia, this is simply when you have to urinate in a jug for 24 hours. Then, you give this ginormous jug of urine to a lab, where they analyze it. When I came home with the jug, John asked me why I was carrying a gas can! HA!I came to the appointment, armed with all of my medical records in hand. I had copies of my pap smear done in April, and all of my bloodwork results. However, Dr. NiceGuy performed another pelvic exam and ordered more bloodwork. Kind of frustrating, but I appreciate the fact that he is being cautious.

I feel relieved to finally be away from Cooper Hospital. I am just so sick of fighting with the billing department and my insurance company. I am hopeful that this new office will be able to process my bills correctly. Wish me luck on my new adventure to actually have my insurance company pay my doctor bills. I know it sounds impossible, but I am hopeful.

P.S. The girl who was scheduling appointments, informed me that Dr. NiceGuy delivered two babies on the Baby Story show on TLC.